Question

[J.Lee]

Should qabiil matter when one is choosing/searching for a mate?

 

Why or Why not?

[underdog]

I don't thing it should.

 

Better Question is Should LOVE matter?

[-Serenity-]

They both matter. To what extent, depends.

[J.Lee]

It should but I would take understanding over love anyday.

[Khayr]

Salaamz,

 

Do what is Wise inshallah and what is good

and its important to please your parents walaal!

 

Usually the longer and more difficult the road is,

the better the GIFTS at the end of the road!!!

 

So make your salatul istikhara, dua and read the quran and be patient inshallah for Allah is with those who are PATIENT.

 

I know this isn't the kinda of response you wanted but it is an advice that inshallah has benefited me and continues to do so, Alhamdulillah!

[najma82]

the ideal thing would be that qabiil shouldn't matter, but unfortunately it does for so many somalis, but i think that it shouldn't because what if this person is everything you ever wanted in a mate, should you leave her or him because he/she is not the qabiil you desired? If anybody ever did that I would consider them to be very shallow. that is just my openion. and the second question is that love does matter to me, alot, and I mean really matters to me.

[Juxa]

sa wr wb,

 

qabiil should not matter, ideally qofka shaqsinimadiisa, diintiisa should be most cherished.

 

 

qof toosan alaha na waafayiyo, aamiin

[A New Born]

Qabiiil is SO F***** important 2 me ..

 

As they say:

--->>One scabbed sheep infects the whole flock.

 

Or --->Baruur keliya baa baruuro qurmisa.

Anoo arkaayo ina adeerkeey maxaa isoo arkay shi sheeye...

but again everyone has his/her opinion !!! :rolleyes:

[BOB]

Ms Word

listen to and follow your heart like a certain girl i know did even if that means breaking few people's hearts along the way and don't listen to what anybody else tells you as this is your life and not anybody else's and it is only you who SHOULD decide what is best for you and not bother yourself with what anybody else wants even if that means upsetting your family because remember one thing, no matter what your family will always love you and as for Qabiil crap, just look at what it did to our people and country and you will find out if its a good thing or a bad thing and whatever you decide GOOD LUCK my sister, just remember that BOB is 120% with you.

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[Haddad]

Originally posted by MsWord:

Should qabiil matter when one is choosing/searching for a mate?

 

Why or Why not?

No. Because qabiil (the kind Somalis practice) is, first and foremost, a concept that clashes with Islam. I will not go into details with that clash, because we practice very little Islam. This kind of marriage will foster the feelings of superiority over others, create myths and taboos about others (outcasts being one of the results), increase hostilities, decrease harmonies- it's in short, a recipe for a hostile atmosphere. What's more, this kind of marriage is unfit for this era. For one thing, most Somalis are no longer nomads (living in urban centers, and leading an urban lifestyle). This kind of marriage might have made a little sense from a survival point of view when the environment was harsh and most Somalis were nomads.

 

What should matter is, one's strong faith, positive morals, values, mores and good character.

[bilan]

i think it matters, because it is not just two of you, but your families as well, ideally it should not, but it does. how about going back, for vacation, what region would you go? it is easier to say it does not matter, but when you're in that kind of situation, it is more complicated,ofcourse families can make it easy if both sides accept. maybe 100 years from now it would not, but today it does.it is just like race, would you marry someone who is not your race; but ofcourse lesser degree

[Nin-Yaaban]

Qabiil = Dumb, and s.tupid

 

anyone who uses Qabil = dumb and s.tupid

 

thats the end of it

[Socod_badne]

Originally posted by Nin-Yaaban:

Qabiil = Dumb, and s.tupid

 

anyone who uses Qabil = dumb and s.tupid

 

thats the end of it

LOL, yes qabiilnism is dumb and relic of past times; qabiil is not an issue to me. Never was, never will be. Your qabiil doesnt determine who u r, ur character and personality. In reality, it often is a problem if the qabiils of two ppl who love each other, are at war. But that doesnt, however, mean one should use qabiil to decide who they should spend the rest of their lives.

[Buubto]

Asalaamu Aleikum WR WB

qabiil should not be the main reason of your choice, morally it is wrong nonetheless today’s society are so depended on qabiil more than ever. The sad truth is discrete will hunt u and your hubby for the rest of your life unless u got tough skin, otherwise your ship will sink. Sick people are surrounded by us, some of them are the one’s that we love the most they carrying incurable disease that is so contagious & shidhaan is with them.

 

If you want less problems, less drama & friendly environment go with ur own qabiil. I know is satisfying others, but honey far kaliya fool ma dhaqdo.

[LayZie G.]

Qabiil = Dumb, and s.tupid

 

anyone who uses Qabil = dumb and s.tupid

 

thats the end of it

I couldn't have said better myself, Nin Yaaban.

 

Qabiil is overrated, and for those of you that said it matters when choosing a mate fall under the categories listed by nin yaan. I can't possibly understand how someone with any sense of logic left in them would ever let qabiil dictate who they ought to be with for the rest of their lives. Don't you pple ever learn from the past? QABIIL RUINED YOUR LAND, YOUR PPLE, YOUR COUNTRY, AND NOW YOU LETTING IT DICTATE YOUR PERSONAL LIVES AND THE LIVES YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE WITH SOMEONE?

 

WHAT A BUNCH OF RETARDS...