Job one liners

[Xafsa]

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My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

 

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

 

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.

 

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

 

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

 

Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

 

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

 

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

 

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.

 

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

 

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

 

Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

 

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

 

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

 

So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

 

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.

 

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

 

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

[Animal Farm]

Amateur Rapper/Freestyler

Media Bootlegger

Donut/Coffee Handler

Program Evaluator

Data Analyst

Jobless [pretending to be looking for a job]

 

I like to think I have many jobs, such as being a publisher, principle at 2 media/lifestyle brand development firms – all inside my head.