Kashafa Posted August 6, 2005 ^^ Atheerkiis, young bloods regardless of ethnicity don't carry all that cultural baggage with them. Young Paki's don't like spicy curry/Young 'Malis don't like mushy soor. They both seem to survive quite well on Doritos. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Foxy Posted August 8, 2005 funny humor......good laugh.....thnx for posting it cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NinBrown Posted August 9, 2005 funny stuff....but u r ment to hate the kafirs and u r not ment to shake hands with the opposite sex so i dont know whats he is talking about. Dacwah is suppose to be done in a intellectual way and as muslims our character and behaviour should be representing islam all the time....unfortunelty he is right in that a lot of muslims dont represent the islamic way life these days..and the more we copy and follow kafirs the less islamic we will become. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by Femme Fatale: BAD DAWAH TACTICS: Bad Dawah Tactics Written by: Hamzah Moin. We are all ambassadors to Islam. The way we spread Islam can have a big impact on our non-Muslim friends. We can either spread it in a subtle way or by going the whole nine yards. However, the following are things we should stop doing while giving out dawah. Yeeeech. ------------- The Horrendous Vocab Do research on your audience. This is terrible: Non-Muslim Female: Hi there… I’m Tiffany. I’m interested in Islam… *reaches out to shake hand* Fanatical Muslim: I don’t shake hands with kafir scum. Especially kafir girls. Actually girls in general. Astagfirullah. Non-Muslim Female: But – Fanatical Muslim: Illicit touching is of the kufaar. I pray that the kufaar will burn in hell and all the kufaar females become eradicated before they whore themselves to innocent Muslim males. Non-Muslim: Uh… Fanatical Muslim: Now what is it you wanted to know about Islam? *Non-Muslim runs off crying* Courtesy and manners is key. Unfortunately the so-called learned people seem to lack it nowadays though. -------------- The Haram Factor In Islam, nearly everything is Halal until proven otherwise. It’s sad to see people make it appear the opposite. Non-Muslim: Okay I’m ready to be a Muslim. I’ll join up. What do I have to do? Muslim: No pork. No alcohol. No sex before marriage. No interest (mortgages etc). No gayness. Non-Muslim: But… Muslim: Shut up. Now hurry up and convert so you can dump your kafir boyfriend and get married to me so I can impress my friends that I married a convert. *Non-Muslim runs off crying* -------------------- The Blame Game So here I am, chatting it up with this other Muslim brother after Juma when he gives me this smackdown of a tidbit. Random Muslim brother: Yeah so I applied to McDonalds right… Hamzah: That’s nice. *rolls eyes* Random Muslim brother: I know but get this… they DECLINED me. Hamzah: You must be TOO talented for them. *rolls eyes* Random Muslim brother: Yo, listen! I think they saw my name on my resumé and noticed that I was Muslim and threw it out. Hamzah: You’re on to something. *rolls eyes* Random Muslim brother: Yo man this kufaar society is against us man. I hate them all. Hamzah: Rolls eyes. *rolls eyes* After 9/11, the spotlight was firmly on Muslims. However, being famous doesn’t always have its upsides. When the spotlight is on you then people start talking. That’s probably why celebrity marriages last as long as Ramadan… some people just can’t take the spotlight. Muslims are like the same way. The spotlight is now on us... Because of September 11th, people start asking us queries about Islam because they think we’re the guilty party. Based on the wonderfully non-biased news and media, it’s our responsibility to clarify what Islam is REALLY about. Peace, tolerance etc. It’s our chance to spread the good stuff. Instead, people blow this opportunity by playing the blame game and making up ****** conspiracy theories. Here’s what a non-Muslim thinks about September 11th. Here’s what a bizarre Muslim thinks about September 11th. Say for example, you’re playing basketball or soccer game and your team loses. The classy people brush it off and reflect on the loss while the sore losers say things like “OMG the referee was biasedâ€, “OMG the net was too smallâ€, “OMG I couldn’t run, my hijab was on too tight†and more ****** excuses. My beef is with people who make crappy excuses and pins the blame on others without educating people about Islam first. Now I’m not saying to stop believing in this stuff. Some people really dig it and I’m sure there’s some truth in there somewhere. I just think its lame when people blow good dawah opportunities to confuse the hell out of people who think these theories are ****** to begin with. If they think your theory is ****** then they will think Muslims are ****** . Don’t make Muslims look ****** . Shut up with the conspiracy theories. Keep them at the dinner table or movie theatre. --------------------- The Moronic Character Sometimes having a good character is dawah in itself. However it could be the opposite. If you’re a complete jackass then it sorta screws up the perception of Islam now doesn’t it? We need less kafir-cursing, guns-a-blazin' folk and more likeable characters in our ummah. People of the past were likeable. Why are people so rude today? *runs off crying* Good...and Worthy Jazakallah sis Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kashafa Posted January 4, 2006 Another classic. Don't be suprised if this guy becomes the next Dave Barry. Man Flees From Maghrib Written by: Hamzah Moin In what was arguably the mosque’s most controversial move, newly reverted Muhammad Smith walked out of Maghrib prayer last Sunday. “I’ve never been so shocked in my entire life,†said one anonymous mosque patron, “it was absolutely disgusting and despicable.†This would have been a normal situation for anyone however Smith was actually the Imam for the Maghrib prayer which made it very difficult for the other participants of that congregation. “We wanted to initiate the new convert into our community somehow,†said Abu Bakr Faruqui, a 42 year-old Maghrib attendee, “so we decided to push him up so he can get the feeling of leading us in prayer… you know being a convert and all. Throw him right into the deep end so to speak.†Smith says he was flattered to be pushed up but pleaded with the other uncles to simply follow one of them out of humility. The uncles didn’t budge and threw the meagre revert to the front. The attendees later found out that Smith refused to lead not out of humility, but because simply nobody had taught him how to pray yet. “It was very weird,†said another anonymous mosque attendee, “when he was ‘leading’ us he just sort of hummed and started shouting jibberish Arabic. We tried correcting him but he started humming louder.†Smith hummed his way throughout the first rakaat and when it was time for ruku he went straight into the sujood. The followers of the congregation tried their hardest in correcting him but when Smith refused to acknowledge their corrections, they all succumbed into the sujood as well. They were stuck in this position for 20 minutes when they realized that Smith had quietly snuck out of the prayer sometime before. “After fifteen minutes I started thinking that Muhammad Smith had died in the sujood but I was too afraid to look up†said Faruqui, who later peeked up and noticed the Imam was gone. Normally in these circumstances someone else resumes the prayer but everyone else was too confused to do anything and remained in the sujood position for an extra 20 minutes. Another mosque attendee called it the worst prayer on earth. “It was so bad I had to make up this prayer… twice.†Masjid president Abdul Kareem Zubairi is glad this incident came sooner rather than later. “He was scheduled to be the khateeb this week too.†Muhammad Smith has been reported missing since the incident. Source Mohamed Howell Al-Amreeki aka Ninka Cadaan, You ever been put on the spot like that ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hodman Posted January 4, 2006 Ouch my sides are hurting from laughing so hard Very funny Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Posted January 4, 2006 Originally posted by Kashafa: They were stuck in this position for 20 minutes when they realized that Smith had quietly snuck out of the prayer sometime before. “After fifteen minutes I started thinking that Muhammad Smith had died in the sujood but I was too afraid to look up†said Faruqui, who later peeked up and noticed the Imam was gone. ROFLMAO at this part Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted January 4, 2006 LoOoL. Poor Smith. Erm..maybe we shouldn't laugh. It could be sacrilegious. Ok..ok...I'll stop. Reminds me of a story I once heard about an Imam in Somalia. Apparently, his congregation didn't like siduu dadka u tujinayey or uu umaamulayey masaajidka. So during one Friday prayer, the poor people got fed up and decided to walk out and have someone else lead the prayers outside. The Imam followed them outside and asked them to get back in the mosque. They told him to get lost. He stood on the step and said 'War dadkani waxbey ujeedaane wixii reer hebela ha soo noqdaan'. A third of the protesters went back into the mosque. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jabhad Posted January 4, 2006 ~Funny kid.~Now Read this. http://www.islamophobia-watch.com/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Khayr Posted January 4, 2006 Former editor of the now defunct Gay and Lesbian Humanist magazine Andy Armitage replies to the Guardian piece on the split in GALHA. He continues to defend his decision to publish the notorious article by Diesel Balaam. "Neither the writer of that article nor we as editors are racist. We criticise religions and do not care about the racial origin of people who practice them." From the Islamphobia site Ahura, I’m either super paranoid, or I have a finely tuned internal danger-sensing system in place. WHAT TIME IS ITTTTTTTTTT? Dhacyada dadka kaa daaf or else u'll might need to read up on KARMA! In anycase, Kashfa, the story had me laughing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thierry. Posted January 4, 2006 loool very funny Just shows what Assalamu Allaiykum does to the opposite sex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
