IL CAPO Posted March 18, 2004 QUESTION: As-Salamu `alaykum. I am in love with a man, whom I met through the internet, but I have never met him face to face. My mother made me swear in the name of Allah and on the Qur’an that I would never meet this person. I made this oath to calm my mother down. Now both he (the man I love) and I are getting married to different people in December. I want to meet the person I love just once before I get married. Is there any way to absolve the oaths I made? Please answer me... I am very upset. ANSWER: Dear sister in Islam, thanks a lot for your question which reflects your care to have a clear view of the teachings of Islam. Allah commands Muslims to refer to people of knowledge to get themselves well-acquainted with the teachings of Islam as well as all aspects of life. Regarding your question, you must keep in mind that Islam does not allow any intimate relation between a man and a woman out of wedlock. Therefore, you have to repent and cut off all relations with this man. In response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: "You have breached the rules of acceptable Islamic behavior by establishing an illicit relationship with a man over the internet. If you care for your faith and honor you should stop communicating with him immediately and never do this again. The oath you have made is a most solemn one, and so breaking it is a grave offence, and entails serious consequences. Never entertain any thought about meeting this man. Now that you have decided to get married, Allah has provided you with a golden opportunity to affect a positive change in your life. Therefore, make sincere tawbah (repentance) to Allah and pray to Him from the depths of your heart to cleanse your heart of all illicit thoughts and to help you remain chaste. The following du`a' should be of considerable help; say it consistently on a regular basis and as often as you can: Allahumma tahhir qalbee wa ahsin farjee (O Allah! Cleanse my heart (of all base thoughts) and help me to remain chaste!). Cherishing the thought of meeting this man - after you have decided to embark on marriage - is like playing with fire, or driving in a slippery road without brakes. Recognize your weakness and fight the evil in your soul and get this man out of your mind. Be faithful to your husband. When we do what is right, Allah will grant us tranquility and contentment. If, on the other hand, we follow our lusts, and break the laws of Allah, we will only be dragging ourselves into perdition and ruin. It is not worth it! May Allah make faith, purity and virtuous acts, dear to our hearts and may He make us hate disbelief, fornication and illicit relations!" I believe lots of SOL sisters might already knew this but also might help others in that kind of situation...God bless you all Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rokko Posted March 18, 2004 Thanx for sharing somalsijui.. I believe lots of SOL sisters might already knew this but also might help others in that kind of situation...God bless you all When you said this, do u mean this was discussed previously here @ SOL or..actually happened someone we know..or?... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
7_steps_2_Heaven Posted March 19, 2004 thnx somalisujiu I thought u were talking about ur-self... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted March 19, 2004 What i meant was the answer to the question above most sista's know the answer not that it appeared here before.....caramel no walalo i a'int talking about myself after-all am a brother thank you guys. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StarGazer Posted March 20, 2004 I heard once from a Sheikh I respect very much say "Being inlove without telling a soul and going to grave with this secret..... you're like a shaheed" Now, before you run away with this, I'm going to verify the source on this.....if its from a Hadith.......this should u give some relieve. This should tell u its Hijad of the soul. U can't act on your emotions b'coz you know u can't for the sake of Allah and by doing so, Allah (SWA) will reward u for it!!! It makes sense right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lol Posted March 21, 2004 I don't agree with the answer bro... I believe Islam allows men and women to talk and date but not to meet in person without the company of a third person. But talking over the net or over the phone is acceptable. As far as keeping the promise made to the mother, walaahi that is to be kept. No empty promises should be made by any Muslim. It is one of the Alamat of a Munafiq! Anyone who disagree bring me a hadith Muakid or a Quranic Ayah! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
La Fidele Posted March 22, 2004 Assalaam alaikum, Hibo, I can't help but ask, how do you expect someone who disagrees with your view to provide a proof from the Quran or hadith, when you yourself don't support your arguement with hadith or Quran? :eek: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Narcissistic-Sister Posted March 22, 2004 Oh, okay... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted March 22, 2004 Good question La Fidele Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
