What would u do if you were in my shoes?

[finestsista2005]

Hi guys, I fallen for this brother from the first day i saw him. Didn't really tell him though. He is the one who approached me to get to know me. We started dating and i developed strong feelings for him. He keep telling me he likes me and know he says he can't be with me ever. I don't know why? He says he doesn't commit to anyone, he did that before for 4yrs didn't work. He wants as to go out without commitment. Ofcourse I didn't agree to it. It been 3 months since i saw him. And yes, i have tried dating other brothes to gt over him, didn't work. I missed him terribly, can't see me with anyone but him. He completly owns all my thoughts now(dam u). He says he got lots of women who love him to death and stuff if he wanted commitment. I try to get over him, everytime i do, i hear him talking to his father really sweet, him going to the masque every friday. He is everything i wanted in a brother, beyond my wildest dreams. So what if my dream come true in real life that i got to see him, Shoud i just leave it to being dream? Honestly, there are many brothers who wish to be with me, i love the way i look, i know he is attracted to me. There is little age differnce . I always get what i want what makes him different? should i give up on him?. Trust me it's not all about the looks that got me to him ,it's him all around mostly personality and atttraction !

 

What can i really do to make him turn around. What would u do if u were in my shoes. If u met that person u wanted alwayz? Would u give up on them. How would u present ur self? WHAT would u do defferently? Help plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wanted?

 

thanx

[SafiaLuuL612]

Babygirl, I can relate to you like crazy. I felt goosebumps come over me because as I read your every word, it exactly describes what I went through(kinda still going through) recently. I'm telling you girl, it was not only the looks, the qualities, his heart, his personality; I coulda sworn on everything that this was the one. At first we were friends, but I ended up falling hard for him. He was attracted to me, I was attracted to him, we had chemistry before that friendship I was just talking about and history. But what I couldn't figure out for the life of me was why this person that was so perfect for me didn't want to be with me as bad as I wanted to be with him. He didn't want no relationship, and the minute I confessed my feelings our beautiful friendship and deep-down mental connection ended.

 

This what I learned, and baby it is gonna hit you hard. This world is not as perfect as we would want it to be. Some people through away food, while others in the world go to sleep hungry; Some ppl waste money on ****** shit, while others are homeless; and sometimes the person that we want to love us the most, simply doesn't want to love you back. It hurts like hell, but you just gotta know when to let go.

 

This person I'm talking about I still think about them everyday, still dream about them everynight, but I held on for 2 years, and I simply couldn't hold on no more praying that my turn would come. I suggest you let go before you go in as deep as I did to a point where you can't get back out.

 

Life is too short to go after somebody and love someone that doesn't want to love you back. Realize that the sooner you get past this one, you are one step closer to the one Allah meant for you.

 

My heart goes out to you, and I hope we get through this to a point where we won't think about them anymore.

 

Much love girl---------

[wardi]

firs lady, remember the topic you raised a month ago secret marriage, is he the same guy that you wanted,,....for this topic my advice to you is never ever ever ever ever commit 100% relationship to anyone.meaning don't give your heart 100% the person you love becouse you really don't know what this person have in mind or what he will become afterward even if you notice that he loved you , always have yourself 25% to safe your self ( you never know what to expect). on the other hand muslim women should not go this channel to find man there are proper channels according islamic ways thats a lot better ,

[Baashi]

FirstLady,

There are many people with whom u can be happy with. Start seeing things from that prespective sis.

[Simple Woman]

lol i think the reason u want him more.. is becuz he said he doesn't want commitment.

[finestsista2005]

All of u are right of every good reason u brought up to my face.

 

SafiaLul thanx girl for letting me know your experience, it hurts to know the truth but what hurts more is waiting and hoping something might change while it is not. Yeah, sweety. The hardest once is tellin yourself something as "he doesn't love you get over it, and your heart becomes a rock that wont ever get over him.....cheez . :mad:

 

Wardi, thanx yeah i know learned a lesson, never give my heart 100%. Sometimes it just happens even if u don't want. U know what, is it me or we sence sometimes which person will hurt us, could it be it's too good to be true or they are loosers . I sensed with him long before i fallen for him, keep telling my self i won't like him tell it hit me hard. Have u ever fighted with your self? Your heart telling you something while ur mind another? What is the saying " Lead with your heart live by your mind"..or something close..if anyone knowes it please say that phrase. How could we lead with our heart when it gives us falsehood? Did you know that people spend more time finding shoes then good mates. While i guess next time i think of prince charmer aprouching me i'll be ready to think critically and try to get one that suites me the best insha allah.

 

Baashi, i pray to god that i do see things in better prospective soon. God, knows i want to. I met great people, i just don't see them. Insha allah i pray to god i do soon though.

 

SimpleWomen, you right. It could be because he doesn't love me back. It is like that challenge when small baby doesn't like you and cries alot till the point you he runs to you and give u kiss on the cheek. Damn, i was waiting for happy ending like the child loving me. And i am good with kids even defficult once, why should he be different. Let's face it, it's just like me, seen wonderful people who want to be with me and i chooce to blind my eyez from them. Oh allah merciful allah help me! Ya get what i am saying. :confused: ...anyway.....i luv ya'll telling the truth.

 

Gals and guys i pray for all of us to be loved by the once we love. AND we love the once who love us.

[Raxmah]

Sister is not worth putting all that energy in some1 who obviosly doesn't want to be with you. I hope u find the strength to get past this experience. And sis that is why we should keep our emotions in check when we are interested in finding a partner islamically. you said u spent so much time thinkign about him, but you could be spendign that time in remembring allah.

 

Wardi you said-- "on the other hand muslim women should not go this channel to find man there are proper channels according islamic ways thats a lot better,"

 

Are you imlpying that is ok for the muslim men to go through this channel?

[finestsista2005]

Raxmah, allah is everthing to me. I thank allah everyday and moment for all the blessings i have recieved. Abboyo, i m trying to practice my religion better and get knowledgeble, honestly. I ask allah to save us from this countries that so forth bringing devils work(amen!)

 

Yeah, Raxmah what channel was that? I didn't really understand it.

[silent-sistah]

girls, girls girls,

 

what did i tell y'all, men are assholes, and we for some reason beyond me fall for them.

 

firstlady,,,,,i shared ur pain, and still am! but i aint got no choice but to let go.

 

i fell madly-deeply head-over-heels for this guy. i dont know why i fell for him. he was cute in a unique way, many people find him handsome, and he was big-headed saying he could get any women he wants and how women are harrassing him saying they want him.

 

this guy actually told me he loved me, i was the one, and that he was gonna marry me, after he comes back from somalia.

 

somalia? i had a difficulty with him leaving, but he reasured me that he would ring me every day.

 

he went away for 9 months never called ones.

he came back to where i am, and he phones me out of the blue. i thought i was dreaming, that it wasnt him, and i didnt know how to deal with talking to him.

 

i had waited 9months for this brother, i tried getting over him, but failed, i was thinking about him every minute of every day. (i sometimes even cried coss i felt helpless-against loving him)

 

well, he got married in somalia, end of story.

--i deleted all his details, and i dont contact him, (he's been back for 2 weeks-he rang me twice.) i dont wanna hear his voice or listen to his excuses. i wished him best luck and im tryna move on.

 

walaal, the reason im telling u this story, is because if those that promise commitment aint commiting,

 

where is the hope for those that tell u str8 up that they gonna play u?

 

take your time getting over him, if you rush and try rebound, you will hurt yourself and the other person- it aint fair!

 

i guess we will never 4get these guys, but they aint what is best for us or what Allah intended for us, pray Istikhara to Allah and InshaAllah we will find someone better, (thats what i tell myself- there has to be some 1 out there better than him)

 

women fall in love with their hearts,with one man,

 

men fall in love with the dicks,with many women.

[Xafsa]

What the...!!! Waraa nimankii waa kibreen!!!

I don't think there is a single person that didn't go through a heart break...if you didn't you will.

I have my own story and i'll share it later...but girls keep ya heads up!

silent sista...he got married?

first lady abaayo just let it go...it takes time but thats the only way.

Theres this unwritten rule....the ones you want don;t want you and the one that want you..you don't want!

I'll be back

peace and luv

[A7LA-SHU]

dymm do all ladies go through the same thing or something? just wonderin...

 

SafiaLuuL612 girl was u readin my mind lol.. but seriously u said it all home girl. u just have to know when to let it go.. believe me there is nothing better than dat. i mean what u gonna do? think about him 24/7 till u lose ur cute lil mind lol. coz i have done that and ain't gonna get u anymore. so just leave everything up to god and u gonna be fine..one thing i learned about this crazy world is u don't get things ur way so just go with the flow.... think about it.. how many brothers out there think u is the one for them and u don't even know if they exists or not.. coz u chasing the other one lol.. don't worry yo'll find another one u go crazy about few years from now u know ladies lol... change their mind like heck..

 

i don't if this gonna work for ya or not..

*keep urself busy ( if u don't have anything to do just be around friends or family) coz i know if u find urself quiet u start thinkin)

*go out much, shopin, friends house.

*stop talkin about him when u with ur friends coz i know we girls do dat.

*get rid of anything he gave ya, or anything that might remind ya of him.

* don't go to places u two been to, coz i know u gonna be like oohh that is where we was that day and we did this n dat..

* be thankful coz god knows why this is happenin for.. maybe is best for ya n u just don't know it.. i tell myself dat.. thank u allah coz u know what is best for me and i don't..

 

wish ya the best.. insha'allah yo'll do aight..

[rudy-Diiriye]

lol@silent sista! u 2! and i thought u was a saint! i was saying in my mind, damn! s-sista is gonna directly to heaven! she so innocent! i know many sistas who be going directly to hell w/o any weekend passes!

 

anyways, ladies the word is, cupid is back, look Busy! to avoid anymore problems!!

[silent-sistah]

rudy....lol ujoka

 

me and this guy was related, so there was no dembi, he seemed perfect, and he was meant to marry me,

 

but lying git married some 1 else

 

walaahi, i during my insane obssesive stage when i could not work things out str8 in my head, (one day i hated his guts, the next i loved him and couldnt live without him, and the next i was looking for an alternative) iy was a viscious circle that i could not get out of,

 

i thought hang on, i aint lost nothing, i didnt sleep with this guy,

 

i mean, some girls loose their virginity to assholes and they get their hearts broken,

 

some girls get pregnant and the guy leaves,

 

girl friends , unless u one of them girls.....we aint lost nothing

 

we just had a lucky escape from making a big mistake.

[Changed]

we all know that u gota let go .......now lets focus on how u could let go of him....

 

do activities like

run

gym

read

try to keep ur self busy at all times

be around freind

and the most u talk about it the better cuz then u dont have anything on the inside to motivate u to think about him....

i know u tried dating but this time dont do it for revenge do it with a person that u like ..and i dont think u should go into dating now do it after a month or so when u are totally over him because if date now all u will compare him to the person u are on date with and that wont be fair to u and the person u are dating at the time.....

[Reality Check]

What would I do if I were in your shoes?

 

Buy a new pair, of course! **jokes**

 

 

On the real thou, if you love the brother that way..then don't give up on him!

 

However, if he doesn't want to commit at all..then he is wasting your time .so do yourself a favor and find someone who is willing to commit to you...cuz you deserve it na'mean!

 

 

Keep ya head up sistah