Silver Posted April 10, 2007 Has anyone else noticed this unspoken competition to finish school first, get married first (preferably young) & have kids first. What's going on? On top of that...the second a girl graduates high school...she hounded by family & relatives to settle down. Why is there pressure to be married and have kids. Don't people know that if they push their kids to marry when they don't want to...it might lead to an unhealthy marriage. Are people getting married for the sake of marriage? Is that why Somalis have such staggering divorce rates? It's nuts. I don't think people think too deeply about what they're getting into and the fact that this WILL affect their lives forever. It's a major life decison. Not a competition. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fartun Posted April 10, 2007 i think that marriage should be a choice rather then being forced doing so... but in somali tradition the way that marriage is translated is completely different then what allah(SWT) have mentioned on his book and what the prophet (SWC) have said... but i don't see any reason why you should get marry if you are not mentally and physically ready for it, because it takes real person to handle and sacra vice for the family you are building for better and worse... coz if you believe in divorce i don't' think marriage is for you... and if you are not ready for it guess what were there is a will there is a way.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hunguri Posted April 11, 2007 Originally posted by Aishwarya: It's nuts. I don't think people think too deeply about what they're getting into and the fact that this WILL affect their lives forever. It's a major life decison. Not a competition. Speaking on behalf of the Men/Faarahs, that you girls are competing for one another after finishing school . Aishwarya, On their behalf I suggest you not to be too analytic in marriage. Yeah, it about decision making. But, It worked for lots of our aged Mothers and Fathers who were married off or got married on the decisions of their parents let alone one of their own. You may find a Somali couple who are married for more than 40 years and never ever have had a day of quarrel, why so ? Coz, there is a point, that the young model girls are missing today, and I urge you to consult the big Xaliimos over this . Anyhow, Dont miss the caravan and end up in no where . PS:- (1) Guurku waa raaxo (2) Waa naf (3) Waa naruuro Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted April 11, 2007 I would not call it a competition, certainly not among the girls themselves. Every girl I meet is dragging her feet and hating the thought. Maybe you should not hang around Islaamaah-- although i can't imagine them sitting around saying "hey my daughter finished school before yours, and got married before yours... what is wrong with your daughter" looool. People take longer to get married now, most people get married around 25ish, not 18-20yrs like few years back P.s. if anyone try’s to force/ pressure you, tell them either 1) You have a guy, he is saving up for a big wedding and to finish his PHD (NB: you can only pull this off for 3years max- he can’t be saving longer than that) 2) You are going to do your masters, then keep pushing it back, next year next year. 3) Just say okay I will and go on about your business, they will get bored soon enough Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kornaylka Posted April 11, 2007 ibtisam are you married Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cynical lady Posted April 11, 2007 kornayka yes she is :rolleyes: ps i once made the mistake of asking the soon 2 to be bride y the rush she said " well finaly i will have my own room" i wonder how long that marriage is gona last Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted April 11, 2007 Konrnay why? are you that husband i ditch years ago CL hello my spokes person, well spoken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yaabka-Yaabkiis Posted April 11, 2007 Somali hadaa tihiin guurka waa ku wareerteen mAALmahan danbe asiga dhan iska dhaafa yaaqay. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted April 11, 2007 What do you mean hadaa tihiin (why what are you?) I'm sure you share the obsession :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yaabka-Yaabkiis Posted April 11, 2007 lol, though i am one of somali, i dont share the obsession-----it is getting worse day after day----it is shooty enough. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yaabka-Yaabkiis Posted April 11, 2007 lol, though i am one of somali, i dont share the obsession-----it is getting worse day after day----it is shouty enough. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted April 11, 2007 so u saying you don't compete ????? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yaabka-Yaabkiis Posted April 11, 2007 compete for what jaceyl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted April 11, 2007 compete for women,, compete for education, compete for money ,,, and anything ,,,,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yaabka-Yaabkiis Posted April 11, 2007 lool, ninyow hablihi fiic fiicna running out of UK I am comming to Borama . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
