Woman to woman relationships at some schools

[Ms DD]

Saudi Arabia: Woman to woman relationships at some schools

 

-By Hayat Kharbash

 

ABHA, Arab News — In a scene that many would describe as disgusting and contrary to the religious and cultural traditions of the Kingdom, sitting intimately in a corner of a classroom at a high school in Abha is Fawziya and Uhoud — two young female “lovers.”

 

The two girls speak romantically and exchange kisses in a relationship that is forbidden in Islam. Fawziya is in the final year of high school. She is engaged to a man and will be getting married in summer after graduation.

 

“I’m not bothered what people at school say about me. I’m just looking for an emotional relationship and I found that in Uhoud,” said Fawziya, adding that having love and feeling is the key to life.

 

“My relationship with my family isn’t very good and I don’t get the love and attention that I should be getting from them. My family is very disconnected and there are a lot of family problems,” she said, adding that she is not paying much attention to her coming marriage. Rather she says her attention is fixed on Uhoud.

 

Uhoud, on the other hand, feels similarly and also pays very little attention to other students who frown at her relationship with Fawziya.

 

Fawziya and Uhoud’s affair is not an isolated one. There are other girls involved in similar romances. Reem and Nura is one such couple, whose relationship began with a smile and an exchange of gifts. The relationship grew stronger and now both find it difficult to separate from each other. Their love for each other is so intense that Nura cried for Reem just before the beginning of the midterm seven-day school holidays.

 

There are other examples of such relationships blooming behind the walls of schools run by the Education Ministry. Sawsan Al-Ghamdi, a college student, said that the college squares, where students take breaks, have “lovers’ corners” where girls kiss and hug each other.

 

“What is surprising is that there was a married girl in her seventh month of pregnancy who was pursuing other girls to satisfy her sexual needs. Administration at colleges do carry out random inspections to prevent such behavior from happening,” said Al-Ghamdi.

 

Aisha Al-Qahtani, a student of Arabic language at the College of Education in Abha, said that she feels shocked at what she sees sometimes happening in colleges. Al-Qahtani said that some relationships develop into becoming very intimate. “I blame a lack of awareness among families toward their daughters,” she said.

 

Such relationships are strongly objected to, especially by students from religious backgrounds. Religious observant students refuse to accept that sort of behavior. When they see couples sitting intimately together they disturb them by talking to them, giving them positive advice and letting them know that such behavior is wrong.

 

An Asir Education Department source said that the ministry has not outlined punishment for students who are caught in such relationships and added that the problem is not a new one and that it exists in other countries as well.

 

“A student who is not receiving enough love and care from her family tends to look for love in other students. At first she will admire a girl’s clothes or living standards. After that the relationship deepens and they exchange gifts and perfume to express their admiration for each other,” she said.

 

Latifa Saleh, a social specialist in Abha, has received at least 10 cases involving girls having strong feelings for other girls. In a phone interview with Arab News, she said that same gender relationships are quite old and that they had become isolated to recently resurface again.

 

“Families do not pay enough attention to their daughters. Such girls need help and treatment. This is a growing problem that we are now seeing in our schools and colleges,” she said, adding that school administrators need to address the problem and speak to individuals involved. “If that doesn’t work, then they should be transferred to a specialist for treatment.”

 

Woman preacher Layla Mahran said that such relationships can potentially develop further and become physically intimate. “They are against Islam and considered to be sexually perverse. The relationship between a man and a woman is considered normal and I am talking about marriage here because that is part of human nature. The relationship between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is frowned upon by our religion and considered a big sin.”

 

Mahran added that the problem is beginning to spread and said that she knows of a teacher who resigned because she was against some of the stuff that was happening inside the high school where she worked.

 

 

http://www.arabnews.com

[Che -Guevara]

The complete segregation of the sexes and the draconian measures taken to enforce cultural Islam lead to the initiation of such unhealthy relationships. All people need a friendly enviroment to express their grievences whether real or imagined and share their feelings. This is hardly afforded to these girls. With very unsupportive household and hardly any access to the outside world, the school is the only outlet for expression, their chance to establish a decent relationship, and their only platform for "healthy" exchange with other people.

[-Lily-]

:eek: I find that very disturbing. I agree with Che, I wonder how boys are coping.

[Caano Geel]

"Administration at colleges do carry out random inspections to prevent such behavior from happening,”

 

I cant help but wonder what a lesbian stop check involves?!

[Cara.]

^Fire hoses and confiscation of aubergines, I suppose.

[Crystal_Clear]

aqruud!

[sheherazade]

You have to go to an all-girl school to get this. Although I never saw any kissing I definitely saw enough girl-for-girl infatuation to put me off women(had I been into them in the first). It's probably something that will pass. Those college girls are another matter.

[Shakti]

oye or acuudu billahi..Some1 I use 2 know, would tell me such news about these arab fairies.. I thought it was more of confession than a news.. thanks 4 the info Cambarro

[Legend of Zu]

Does this mean an Arab version of the "L" word is about to hit the roads?

 

Caano -

"Administration at colleges do carry out random inspections to prevent such behavior from happening,”

 

I cant help but wonder what a lesbian stop check involves?!

 

^^ Do you really wanna know? but I also wonder whom of the Admin will do the checking? the Male teachers or the female?

 

Cheers

[Endeavour]

Aqas! This topic should be removed.

 

Homesexuality is abundant in Saudi Arabia. Families live in fear, they constantly have to watch over their young sons in cases they are abuducted and raped by other men.

 

I am disturbed such unislamic behaviour is being carried out in the prophets birth place. It makes me sad to now the muslim ummah have hit rock bottom.

[Ebyan]

I'm not suprised at all...

[Aisha]

ufff! Hearing all this makes me so mad! Where has the islamic knowledge gone?

 

I once had a friend in high school who confessed to me that she was a lesbian!! We were friends for like 3 years and I had no clue! Thank god she dropped out coz I don't think I could have stayed friends with her. That's how strongly against it I am.

 

May Allah put guidence back into the hearts of these so called gay muslims!

[N.O.R.F]

From the same source,,

 

Islam Without Muslims; Muslims Without Islam

Lubna Hussein, forlubna@hotmail.com

 

“What happens if a woman goes to court here?” asked my father.

 

“What do you mean?” I counterquestioned.

 

“What I mean is that if a woman goes to court is she treated as an individual or are her rights based on her gender?”

 

“Depends on the case, I guess,” I said.

 

“Come on,” he interjected sarcastically. “Don’t start telling me that women are treated in the manner that has been commanded by God. According to His Law they should be treated as equals. You know that that’s not the case here.”

 

“You just have to look around at the horrific miscarriages of justice to know that that’s definitely not the case,” he emphasized. “My point is that as much as we try to find fault with the West, one thing is for sure: I would feel far more secure with their system of justice if I were a woman than I would with the one we have here.”

 

“Yes, in a way you’re right,” I began, “but Islam did give women rights over 1,400 years ago that the so-called civilized world has only started to recognize recently.”

 

“You’re intelligent enough to know that having rights and not being entitled to them is just as good as not having them at all. In the Qur’an, when a man decides to divorce his wife, God Orders him to leave his wife on an equitable basis and is required to support her. Am I right?” he asked, quoting the verse and chapter.

 

“Of course,” I agreed.

 

“So if we are really honest with ourselves, does the law here enforce that or even recognize it in part?”

 

“Not that I know of,” I admitted.

 

“Alright. This means that a woman can quite literally be booted out of her house on to the street with nowhere to go; and if she tries to extract any right or entitlement from her husband, will the court support her in this? Have you ever heard of a Saudi man who is scared of the consequences of not paying his wife alimony or stealing her dowry because he might be taken to court?”

 

“No,” I conceded thinking of all the women I knew who had had this scenario forced upon them without any hope of recourse.

 

“Exactly,” he said, having won the argument. “It’s disgusting to think that the courts can overlook the word of God when it comes to preserving and upholding the whole concept of male domination. Judges relish sentences that chastise women for petty matters. You see the way the outwardly pious love to stop women in the street to point out strands of hair that may have escaped their veils or question the identity of the men around them; but when it comes to guaranteeing them their God-given rights they miraculously disappear!”

 

“Yes,” I said, reflecting upon what he said. “You’re right.”

 

“A woman cannot even gain custody of her children in a court of law. What sort of a mandate gives the automatic guardianship of little girls over to the hands of a father and stepmother even when a mother is perfectly capable of looking after them? You of all people should know what that feels like. What’s more, the status and importance of a mother in Islam is such that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) himself said that paradise lies beneath the feet of one’s mother and that a mother’s value is three times greater than that of any other individual.”

 

“Yes,” I agreed.

 

It was this very conversation that played in my head when I read two articles printed side by side in the paper this week. One of them highlighted the fact that there are many single mothers and divorcees in society who are denied welfare due to trivial bureaucratic matters and thus forced to live below the poverty line. Imagine that. In Saudi Arabia, one of the wealthiest countries in the world, women are reduced to begging on the streets because the law does not recognize their needs. What kind of an interpretation of Islam is that when our faith is based on a spirit of egalitarianism? When verses upon verses of the Qur’an command us to look after the wretched of our society?

 

As if that was not bad enough, the adjacent piece highlighted the obstacles that Saudi women married to foreigners have to endure. Whereas a Saudi man may obtain citizenship for his wife and his children, a Saudi woman is not entitled to the same privilege if she marries a non-Saudi. Upon what spurious logic this decision is based upon I do not profess to know, but what I do know for sure is that it has nothing to do with religion.

 

The great Islamic scholar of the 19th century, Muhammad Abdo wrote that when he visited the West he found Islam but no Muslims and upon his return to the Arab world he countenanced many Muslims but no Islam.

 

I am beginning to see his point

[NGONGE]

Now whilst I'm not disputing the existence of such relationships in Saudi schools I can't help but question the seriousness of this article. All it seems to be really saying is that some girls are extra friendly and buy each other gifts! Even when it mentions kissing, it really does not specify if it's extra friendly hugs and kisses on the cheek, or, the full-blown French variety!

 

In addition, you have to take into account that this is Saudi Arabia we're talking about. When the article mentions random school inspections it really does not mean that the teachers are going round looking for a couple of girls with their skirts halfway down their knees! No, it's probably talking about a couple of girls sitting closely or horse playing and giggling loudly!

 

Lest I mislead you with my mention of skirts (especially you boys at the back), we are not talking the Western or Japanese school skirts here . Clear that image right out of your head and, just for a moment, imagine a couple of fully clothed, fully covered and cumbersomely attired Saudi girls trying to get it on in the school grounds (no bike shed, sadly). It's either mad or impossible. Not to mention completely dull. Just the thought of them casting off their clothes puts me in mind of one of those amateur magicians that pulls an unending scarf out of his hat (big scarf off, small scarf off, jilbaab off, first set of undergarments off, etc etc).

 

Had the article been talking about straightforward lesbianism, one could at least understand how this can be a problem (in any society not just the Saudi one). But, this does not seem to be the real aim of the article. What it seems to be aiming for instead is the prevention of lesbianism! My words might not make much sense to you if you don't mark the subtle difference here. In short, what the article is trying to do is deal with any symptoms that MIGHT eventually lead to lesbianism; it almost stopped short of suggesting that it's best not to send girls to school altogether!

 

Adolescent infatuations are nothing new and not something to worry about that much. Some youngsters admire their peers, are besotted with their peers and even LOVE their peers. Surely, only if and when this turns into a sexual relationship could we condemn it as being religiously wrong and sinful. Anything below those red lines is fair game. Even adult, single young women (in all societies) talk about BEST FRIENDS and almost always look inseparable from their girlfriends. Surprisingly enough, you don't hear many of them talk about these 'best friends' in the same way once they're married. You also don't see them in each other's pockets as much.

 

Having said all of that, it's possible that homosexuality is rife in Saudi (girl) schools. If the society's response to it is anything like how they consider male homosexuality then maybe the initial idea of this article is a leap forward in Saudi thinking. For whilst male homosexuality is frowned upon by all, it's also (mostly) ignored and tolerated (even though its manifestations are more noticeable and perceptible than lesbianism). Yet, as ever, the treatment of both shall not be the same. Girls represent honour (particularly when it comes to sexual matters), and the reaction to anything that upsets that honour is almost always disproportionate to the act. Thus, two very good friends hugging and buying each other gifts are viewed with suspicion whilst the same act in two men would hardly arouse the same allegations (not unless the two men are being extra girly about it, of course)!

 

Regardless. Though it's a farce of an article, it really (from where I'm sitting) does not in anyway prove the existence of girl-on-girl action in Saudi schools, it merely (at best) warns of it.

 

Zu,

An Arab version of the L word does and has always existed. How else could we understand that women-on-women sex was forbidden? (It’s a very descriptive and ugly word too, to be honest).

 

By the way, there are no male teachers in girl schools, saaxib. That would defeat the whole purpose of having a girls' only school, wouldn't you say?

[Caano Geel]

NG,

there you go, always coming in to spoil everything with your *now i'm gonna make sense blah blah blah*.

 

They all wear Japanese mirco skirts and the (female) school inspectors land in helicopters with an armed squad on their surprise attacks.

 

Ooh yeah, and there are bike sheds ....