Etiquettes and how we accomodate them!

[lol]

Etiquettes are codes of behaviors that direct an individual to act in a certain way formally or informally. Taking a closer look we may draw the conclusion that our culture lacks majority of the universal etiquettes. But then isn’t this a proof that humans differ in their behaviors depending on their cultural morality? Aren’t we being unethical and inconsiderate in expecting an individual to act in accordance with laws set by the western societies? Many “educated” and “civilized” Somalis tend to belittle those that don’t adapt to the western way of protocol. For instance, as a Muslim society Islam directs us and told us that we should eat with our hands. “Educated” Somalis when they see this, automatically get the impression that this person is from “baadiye”. What sets us apart from the rest? Aren’t our culture, our behaviors and most of all our ways of life that project our identity? Why do we feel the need to adjust and comprise our values in order to serve that of other societies? Why can’t eating with your hands be acceptable to others as using cutlery is to us? I am sure some of you can relate to this. I write about this coz the other day, I went out with a group of friends, there was a Somali brother mind you, he is well educated, and I somehow look up to him as mentor, but then the most peculiar thing happened. We entered a restaurant and I had biryani rice with mutton/goat meat. As usual I like to eat with my hands, especially when it is rice. I get full satisfaction of the meal when I do that. Anyways, my friends who were a mixture of western countries were all enlightened and delighted. So they joined me, but my Somali friend looked at me with disappointment and said, “ Hibo in aan ku baro waaye sida loo isticmaalo qaadada iyo fargetada”. I looked at him stunt at the words that just hit my ears. Here is a brotha whom I thought was educated, and yet he sees me as uncivilized simply because I used my hands to eat. And I said, “ Amin ama ha aaminin sida loo isticmaalo qaadada waxaa ley baray aniga oo 5 sano jira balse waxaan jeclahay in aan ku dhagnaado dhaqankeyga oo aan bal tawaabka korarsado maadaama dambigeyga kale ay badan yihiin.” He was bewildered and went on lecturing me. My ajinabi friends couldn’t understand what the fuzz was all about, and I told them what was happening. They told him, we were expecting you would lead the way for us since u belong to the same country as she does. He sat there ashamed, wishing he could turn back the hands of time. So this kind of got to me, reflecting upon some of my Somali friends who complained of the same things as well. So my question to u is, “ What made it acceptable for us to go out of our way to please our ajinabi friends by adopting their ways?

[Gediid]

I agree with you,We as Somalis have this negative perception of what is ours is bad and that what we learn from others is far superior to our traditions and as a result we are more likely to easily shun ours in the hope of being accepted.The more civilized a person is among Somalis is measured by how one acts,talks or behaves like a foreigner.Such a narrow perception I generally think is due to the fact that Somalis overall are either the first generation or second generation urban dwellers forcing us to shun any ties that would tie us back to the good old days of reer badiyenimo.

 

Just take the case of the Ethiopnains,you will never see forks and knives in an Ethiopian restuarant anywhere and all those Ferenjis eating there honestly are delighted not only at the food but also the chance to eat with their hands.

[OG_Girl]

Hibo , lol u ate with ur hand in restaurant?

 

sister, I never been in western country and I don't have Ajnabi friends to please but I can't eat with my hand sweety. my kuwaiti friends eat with their hands and I see them with that big "sahan" and they all sit around and eat together but we don't do that, either my parents been in western . but we sit together we eat in seperate plates. So, I don't think that was part of our culture we have to stick, is personal choices .maybe they did not have spoons in back home to use ... I said maybe.

 

salam

[x_quizit]

I guess its the mentality of...when in rome, do as the romans do...some do have a way of thinking that the West isn't necessarily more civilized but "advanced" which leads people to follow suit. Which is due largely because we were new to this side of the world, but i think these days, its not that bad, compared to the fresh off the boat days, where wearing a macawis was seen as a backward thing..although i do have some male friends who won't be caught dead in them, might just be personal preference or not wanting to seem like they are wearing a skirt in the Westerners eyes.

[Dhagax-Tuur]

A$$ All

 

True that is, Walaal. We are SO damn suffering of 'inferiority complex'. As the brother said, WE LOVE EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T OURS, and see it better than what we have. Wherever you look in the somali behaviour, recent past or present you will find this sort of behaviour. Examples are: We didnt eat our home grown food back home in Somalia, at least most of us. Instead of buying somali, we preferred foreign.

 

I think Somalis were largely nomads, and there has been a sudden exodus of people from rural to urban 70 - 80's that's partially taking its part in this behaviour.

 

With time and more exposure, I hope we will realise that what we have is as beautiful if not more, as what others have.

 

X_Q:

 

If a Scott can wear a kilt, why not Macawis for a Somali?

 

Dhaqan wanaagsan baanu leenahay'e, aanu ku dhaqano.

 

salaams.

[x_quizit]

Geel Jire, i agree with u...its all in the pride with which one wears his/her cultures' clothes...

[-Serenity-]

Eating with ur hands is simply not hygienic...especially after travellin and landing in a restaurant...sorry...but faraha lala galayo cuntada has to go !

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Salaan...

 

For instance, as a Muslim society Islam directs us and told us that we should eat with our hands. “Educated” Somalis when they see this, automatically get the impression that this person is from “baadiye”.

I sometimes deliberately do that at Soomaali maqaayado. I eat with my fingers, sab-wise, especially when I am eating with another person and most do eat with fingers too.

 

I eat with spoons and forks at home, but I intentionally do the finger-eating at public places just to irritate those "western" wanna-bes, who can't stand that. While they struggle with their knives, forks, my bariis is gone. And since I don't let my finger nails grow a semi-cm, it is all healthy then.

_______________

 

P.S.: This reminds an event a year ago in Xamar.

 

I was invited to Hoteel Saxaafi to have a lunch with those "professors" from Jaamacada Muqdisho and an American NGO-worker gaal from Nairobi. Alas, I came late, when most finished and they were late to go, so I hadn't had a meal, only drinks. I was deliberately going to eat with my fingers. Still I saw those two struggling with their knives and altogether left their meats untouched.

[Qac Qaac]

Athena, the sunnah of the prophet scw is to wash your hand first everytime u gonna eat, therefore u don't worry about microgoranism stuff. then eat with your hand.

 

Try me, sis loooool horta of what happen to u, and i really like what u did. but what i am wondering is i thought women, or girls don't eat with their hands especially in front of men, i guess u r one especial person. as for jaahilkaas u talked about, u should be mentor for him, if he is not proud of his culture... then fiinyahay ku dheh, and teach him. i really like what u did...

 

i would eat with my hands, and would sit on the ground, if they didn't have tables and chairs in restaurent....

[sadkii_yeele]

Bismillah ......

 

I think what creates this lack of appreciation of our unique culture on the part of not so well educated but whole heartedly westernised nomads is the crises and confusion many of them are constantly going through - identity being one. They are neither here nor there.

 

That said, I dont in any way approve of the what this pathetic new Somali makhaayad culture in which not so cleaned hands with long dirty nails presents. They take one handful of rice half of which is either thrown back into plate or worse on the table. This can have no basis in our lovely sunnah or culture. As for me, well, I use both my hands as well as any cutleries whenever the situation demands.

 

Fingers were made before forks. (unknown)

[OG_Girl]

I think , I have to ask my dad to buy me Camel to go to university instead of my Jeep cheroke !!

come on guys , that is nothing to do with Sunnah is their way of life and I am pretty sure if Prophet(saw) had spoons and table he would eat with it.

 

Plus eating with hands is disgusting!...yackkk.

 

Salam

[Reality Check]

Health issues.

 

You touch everything with your hands. Even if you scrub like a surgeon, you there are still some risks. Eating from the same plate as other is worse (if not disgusting). When I go to cazuumad, i ask for a fork!

[Paragon]

I sometimes deliberately do that at Soomaali maqaayado. I eat with my fingers, sab-wise, especially when I am eating with another person and most do eat with fingers too.

Lool MMA. I know you have seen Southall restaurants where qaado iyo fargeetto ay dambi culus ka yihiin.

 

Hibo, we are suffering from the ignorance of the 'self'. Self-esteem is the key word here.

[Arwa]

Way to go Try_Me!

..........................

 

Originally posted by Athena:

Eating with ur hands is simply not hygienic...especially after travellin and landing in a restaurant...sorry...but faraha lala galayo cuntada has to go !

If its unhygienic to use your hands while eating, then Islamicly why do we have to wash our hands before eating anything??

 

To use a Spoon or Fork! :confused:

 

Plus if some peoples concern is hygiene, the i suggest they look at what makes their hands unhygienic :rolleyes:

 

salaam

 

 

[-Serenity-]

^^ Lets examine the restaurant scenario dear new-one .

 

So you go to the toilet and wash your hands. Great. Now you touch the tap to close it after washing..there a few germs stuck on already. Next ===> Door - of the toilet! where probably a hundred unwashed hands have unwittingly landed on...a few more germs. I'm sure you're ready to have a feast now - with your clean hands . . G'luck