How will you raise your children?

[Che -Guevara]

My only mission with any of daughter of mine is she doesn't end up in rap video with Lil Weyne pouring champagne over her exposed behind.

[Chimera]

Come on Sayyid, men too can tell if another guy is good looking or wether he would be popular with the girls. This is the classic Alpha male factor that makes lesser males stay in the company of him, because they are aware of his status. Unless the world in thirty years is replaced by male and female android spouses i don't see why it would be different then.

 

I don't understand the ''prejudicial'' part of your post. Where did i show that?

 

Che

[Ibtisam]

Che low expectation farah :mad:

 

Adam, you've clearly thought about this long and hard.

[Malika]

Adam,

 

Growing up in an environment,where Somalis were few,my mother wanted to keep things Somali.We had a restaurant,so every Casar time,most of the Somali young men used to come to play board games,darts etc,and these were the times we were helping around the restaurant.. ,of course all that was going on was under hers or my aunties watchful eyes.

 

She used to tell the other Somali mothers,let the young people get to know each other,she says if I don't allow them to know each other,they will sneak around behind my back.. ....So its better in the open air..She knew where we were,whom we were with etc etc..

 

We had much more freedom,she trusted us and had high expectations of us,and we abide by her rules and never disappointed her..So I don't believe in tight leashes.

[Che -Guevara]

Ibti-No really, it's just that would be my worst nightmare!!

 

But otherwise I expect the best from my future daughters, and of course give them all I can to make them responsible, dutiful Muslims.

 

Have you ever look yourself and wondered my daughters have to one day deal with men like me (then juvenile me of course) scary really.

[Cara.]

I'm going to tell them terrible jokes. Cringe-inducing puns, eye-roll-worthy gags, stealthy multi-component pranks. By the time they are four, I expect full reciprocity. I want them to tiptoe down the stairs every morning holding a shirt over their heads; and of course they should skip the last step to avoid the booby traps. They should do a quick chemical analysis of their canjeelo before eating breakfast. No need to mention that they should double check every fifth homework problem I help them with in case it turns out to be a groan-worthy math joke.

 

At my funeral, I expect them to look suspiciously at the coffin and poke my arm a few times to make sure I've truly kicked the bucket before settling down to mourn.

[Ibtisam]

^^^^LOOOL

 

 

Che: That should scare you into being less of erm err [..........]

 

Malika, they said it long time ago wiixi laa qairiyo qudun baa ku jira.

[Che -Guevara]

^I will try.

 

LooL@Cara..they will bury you in steal coffin and fire you into space. Somehow I think you would be receptive to the idea of being launched into?

[Chimera]

Ibtisam, my childhood friend's fate really brought it home. Children are an investment, if i'm succesful in life(and Somalia has returned to stability) then insha-allah i will raise my kids there, but if i raise them in the west then there are clearly alot of issues i will have to contend with.

 

Malika, thanks for that reply. Most parents are unaware of the pressures their children face at school or outside the house. If a Somali girl goes to school and all of her western friends have boyfriends and are chatting about the fun stuff they did like going to the cinema or bowling etc day in day out, how would she feel? She would feel left out right? The old Somali parental advice; stay away from them is retarded and illogical, you can't tell a person not to interact with people they see everyday of the week. Naturally in most cases a person will fall astray like my childhood friend.

 

In the west there is a clear cultural system where from the age of 15 to 19 petty crushes are the norm and are actually promoted through shows like 90210 or O.C.

 

Therefore if instead a father and a mother turned the tables by employing doube team tactics where they cleverly create a diversion and captured this natural feeling resulting from growing up with the aforementioned tv-shows. Then they would have the power to re-direct those 'crushes' in a less sinister direction.

[Chimera]

Cara your sarcasm is noted.

[Ibtisam]

^^^I know her, she is dead serious

Children are hard work, many people know how to have them, but not how to bring them up. It would take me years to take on that responsibility if I ever do, by then I will have a sold plan and Allah is the best of planners, so I would be praying 24/7 for them.

[Aaliyyah]

You seem to be insisting to make your kids date at such a young age to the person of your choosing. Just out of curiosity what happens when you allow your kids to date "yeah kid you can date am in no way going to stop you from dating thats old school" and the kid goes " no daddy am seeing this cadaan kid at school this somali guy wont do"....oh I forgot you already answered that on your other post, something along the lines of screaming lol....

 

Hopefully I did not come across as I was poking fun of your opinion. I truly was not I was just trying to make a point rather. Like you are getting ahead of yourself and by matching them you are actually letting them get comfortable with the idea of dating at such a young age, and they shouldn't. I believe that a parent should be strict with their children. And, that means no dating..i do not care abt who..no cadan/chinese/somali /japanese..it is straight no. Your kids might not be grateful today, but they will be..count on that walaal!

 

salaam

[Chimera]

Ibtisam, well said, but your younger cousins, nephews and nieces should be your guinea pigs. You should test all of your theories on them and even interview them if possible to get a clear picture of their personal view of life and their future. This will help you in spotting all of the effects(good or bad) resulting from their upbringing in a western environment.

 

Aaliyah, i think you are misunderstanding me. Somali husbands for my daughters is a 'personal wish' not a 'rule' that i will set up for them when they grow up. Compare this personal wish with the scenario of parents advicing their children to pursue medical education as opposse to photography. There is nothing wrong with photography, but still the parents do have the right to advice/pursuade their children in taking on the former professional route.

 

Similarly i have the right to highlight my personal wish vis-à-vis my daughters and their future husbands. I as a parent will have the right to sneakily mastermind the path that will lead them to my personal wish.

 

If they however were to chose a different path that doesn't retard their potential in life but actually enables them to be succesful then that guy is my son in law and i would treat him no different. I however i'm very confident with my theory as i have seen it already being tested in the field and the results were great.

 

Mind you i'm not the type of person that has anything against those that marry outside their community. That's their decision and i respect it. I don't want to be seen as a bigot but i do hope people respect my personal wish.

[Aaliyyah]

I respect your choice walaal.inshallah May allah swt assist us in having good pious kids that don't fail our efforts.

 

Inshallah good luck to those of you who are raising kids in the west. It is not an easy task. But, all will be well with Allah's help.

 

salaam

[Indhoos]

Four months ago I would have written pages of ideas about how I wanted to raise my Daughter, but now that I actually have one...I am at a loss. I am trying hard not to suffocate her with my attempt to shield her from evil and I will bet that your ideas will change once you are a parent.

 

As for my upbringing, I was scared to death of my mom, and later did not want to disappoint her so I behaved my behind.

Many have said it before, I think the best way is to teach by example.