sheherazade Posted February 17, 2009 ^tell him you were hoping to watch it together. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolate and Honey Posted February 17, 2009 looool. Watch it with him? First of all I cringe everytime he brings up the "movie" and he thinks that I'm being a total two-faced about it. Second, my image is so clean(in his mind) that he'll never beleive that I wanted to see something like that with him because in the movies, I'm always the one closing my eyes and making a big fuzz about nude scenes. It is a lose-lose situation for me really. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolate and Honey Posted February 17, 2009 loooool. I'm now giving him the silent treatment so it is past scream! for reall though, what would you do if the person doesnt beleive you and you shattered(accidently of course)his image of you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted February 17, 2009 I WAS SCREAMING. Cause I didn't want you to be offended by my words but since you ask...... Ha ka neefin. Seriously. He should take your word for it and drop it. This isn't about you watching porn- you have already said he knows you as the one who makes a fuss over risque scenes. It's more fundamental. You know what it is. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolate and Honey Posted February 17, 2009 Never let anyone coerce you into a lie :mad: . Under the intense calls arround the clock, the blame and the humilation of it all, I got trapped. He trapped me. You know what he said, "he would let it go if I got curious one time" I was so exhousted that I said "ok. Fine. That is what happened. Ilaahay ha iga cafiyo and now drop it." He completely flipped and asked "how many of them I watched" "why did I need that" blah. It is hopeless! Girls Help. * no boys's opinions are welcome* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted February 17, 2009 ^Babes, is it a wind up? I think it's a windup. Ku qayli and put the phone down. LoL. Maybe not, you don't have to keep explaining yourself, he'll get it eventually. They can be such nuckleheads sometimes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nagwa Posted February 17, 2009 loolz ku qayli kulaha i will advice u to ignore him saka iska daali but if u shout him wuu ka sii daraya u know what i mean he will make fun of you maantoo dhan. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted February 17, 2009 C&H, does he usually have a sense of humour? People tend to laugh about that sort of mix up, rather than take it as a serious something else. Say you don't want to talk about it and maybe he'll drop it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted February 17, 2009 Intense calls around the clock aa? I certainly wouldn't tolerate it. :mad: Some men have a way of pushing you so you do something they don't wanna do(a cryptic message for Ibts to crack). Chocolate, men's opinion may just be what you need. Don't add any fuel of your own. Kaligii ha buuqo. How utterly tedious. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cara. Posted February 18, 2009 C&H, maybe he is insecure about how he'll measure up, so to speak. Tell him you hope he has a modest package because what you saw was monstrous and frightening. Although knowing men he won't see that as a bad thing... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guerilla Posted February 18, 2009 Originally posted by chocolate & honey: quote:eh playing with words again hmm let's just say that being hot and bothered sweetness the climactic conclusion Girl, you're too much! I’m psychologically wounded from this weekend’s experience. I want to die. This past weekend, I rented a movie from this small video store in a walking distance from my house. I wanted a Korean movie, but the guy is soo cheap that he buys movies and copies them and assigns them numbers and different letters so you can’t even bring the box with you :mad: . Anyways, I tell him the number while I'm on the phone and looking for my wallet in my purse at the same time. He gives me a movie and I run home. Later on, I try to watch the movie but notice that it was turned upside down because there is a picture of a Naked woman and I was like I don’t remember the box having this pic. And why is she white instead of Korean. I put on the movie and Wow! Disgusting. It is porn. My little sister comes in the living room but I jump before she sees it and dance around the room trying to hide. Lo and behold there is no ROOM big enough for it so I opt to put it in purse and think return it ASAP. But by the time the family come back the bloody store is close. Fast forward, few hours later, I’m at grocery store food shopping with fiancée and I open my bag looking for wallet again (DAMN that wallet!) and he sees the movie with I completely forgot all about. He snatches it and I snatch it back. He insists on seeing the movie, I ignore him. He assumes the worst. I decide to come clean about the whole situations. He completely misunderstands the situation, asks me how come I didn’t tell him what happened, accuses me of watching porn (cuz after all, I rent movies from there and often, they are foreign movies like Hindi and Korean). And long story short, I just wanted to die. Now, he thinks I’m crazy. He mopes around and asks me WHY DID I WATCH waxaas, about every hour on the hour :eek: . Sounds like the kind of guy you beat over the head with a bat. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted February 18, 2009 C&H, You seem you can't stay out of trouble woman ...I wonder if the situation has settled with your fiancee but I guess I am contributing my 1 and 1/2 cent Alright let see, First of all, I actually have an image of your running around in the living room trying to distract your sister from the tv monitor...Okay back to the issue, I don't know this young man of yours, and it is possible as someone said him thinking you could have possibly been watching porn is upsetting to his ego...He might feel insecure and unsettled by that idea, even though he might deep down know you are not watching, but I guess you hiding it first and not straight away explaining to him the situation didn't help. Having said that his reaction seems to the extreme, calling every hour on the hour, and there can be a deeper issue there and the best way is for you to talk to him straight forward rather than avoid and do the silent treatment...This not one of those times to avoid talking about something...Get together with him be firm but gentle meaning you need to explain to him his action and behavior were not appropriate to the situation but you would like him to tell you why he reacted as he did...You have to reaffirm this relationship is built on trust on both sides and his distrust of what you said is upsetting...Maybe guys think that women really don't like porn, it is engaging to woman, so if they find out they might watch a guy might react differently to it than you would expect. This is a good chance for you and him to work out a way of resolving your issues in the future, it's essential in a marriage that you can communicate well and effectively, to get you through the hurdles like these. Don't ever admit to something you didn't do, it's totally not worth, and that probably didn't help the matter...Just explain to him why it happened, that the pressure was too much and it just seemed like easier to do than fight with him, do apologize for lying. In nutshell, you need a face-to-face time with him, have a good discussion about the situation be open minded but again be sure to say how the whole situation made you feel and work it out Going back to exercise motivation, I am going skydiving this summer, and I don't want to be denied because I am too fat so I am hitting the gym for now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolate and Honey Posted February 18, 2009 Hello, Ladies. Thanks to all of you who responded kindly. Sometimes, it is better to talk about these kinds of things to friends far, far away than close ones. things are turning from bad to worse.We had the talk. And I (not wanting to go back on my word again) approached the subject nicely. I told him that I understand where he is coming from and that my initial response wasn’t sufficient. I told him that whatever happened, happened. And that it will NEVER happen again. So no worries but that I didn’t understand why he would react to this extreme. He said that he felt like he doesn’t know me anymore and that I could do ANYTHING. And that the trust is damaged (over what? I wanted to shout but I held my tongue) but he promised to not talk about it anymore. So he insisted on coming to work after hours so we can talk (he’s never been at my work) then, as we are walking outside, I forgot that I left a junk of money (cashed my check that same day) upstairs so I was like “oh, I forgot something” lets go back. He didn’t move, and then I noticed that he was looking at this OLD black man walking towards me. So he goes, “Do you know him? Is that why you suddenly remembered something upstairs?” My mouth fell open. I walked him to the guy who was with his wife and I told him I worked there. Turns out, they came to watch their son play basketball. And that they were lost. So I came back to my office, got the money and showed it to him. I then received a phone call from him and he was like “You were so scared when you saw that guy. You must be dating some guy from work and you didn’t want him to see me with you. That is why you almost run in the other direction. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. Blah, blah.” I yelled at him, called him a psycho and some other un lady like things and hanged up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nephissa Posted February 18, 2009 Choco sis, one question here, the real question is not about his insecurity, but yours. Why do you continue to allow him to do this? Ma ilaa uu ku qawracaad sugi? Find some strength and R.U.N Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
