Window to their past?

[Xafsa]

I've heard alot of people say that your children are a window to yourself. Meaning that you see yourself in them....they show you who you realy were when you were their age.

We all know that the way we treat our parents is exactly the same way our kids will treat us.

You've heard the story about the son who left his blind father to fend for himself under a tree in the middle of no where,and when he got old he also lost his sight and his son did the same thing to him. The same kind of theory goes for when you treat your parents with kindness.

 

Going back to the original statement about children being the window to their parents. I have a hard time seeing my mom make the same mistakes I did...or having the same mentality as me when she was my age. We see our parents as perfect beings...so its hard to swollow this.

The question is does history really repeat itself? Are we all just follwing in our parents foot steps?If so is this a bad thing or a good thing?

peace and luv

xafsa

[shyhem]

Like father like son.Definately u will mostly likely,i mean close to 95% behave the same way u'r parents behave.

A man is as good as his father and a girl's reputation depends on what kind of a woman her mother is.

If you're a good person today, mostly its be'coz of u'r parents more than u'r own freewill.

[Xafsa]

a girls reputation depends on what kind of a women her mother is? I disagree...I've seen people with good god fearing mothers turn out to be complete opposites...and vise versa....

[MaLikah]

Well, I think for the major part, its true that the apple doesn't fall from the tree. You have to keep in mind that we've grown up in different times, but I honestly do see some of my mothers qualities in myself (not enuff tho lol). For example, sometimes after I saying somthing, I pause and end up thinking "Man that sounds like something my mom would say". However, its true that there are some God-fearing mothers who end up with some wildass children-but theres a reason for that. Some children, while tryin to establish their own identities apart from their parents, go and become the exact opposites of their parents, like the preachers child becoming a prostitute. So with that being said, not every child takes after their parents-but it definite has a major impact on who they become, or don't become.

 

___My Two CenTs_____

[Xafsa]

MaLikah-- I agree 100%

Let me add another demension to this. I think every one here is old enough to make their own decsions and pave their own way in life...with a few exceptions no dought.

With that in mind what I wanna know is would you want your kids to be like you? Can you see them making similar mistakes and choices? I know growing up, My parents were the perfect example for me to follow. Do you think your kids will feel the same way about you?

 

Me...I have made many mistakes in my life...and I don't think I could take it if my kids were to repeat my mistakes. Right now I try to base most of my descions on how I would feel if my daughter did the same thing....that usually stops me in my tacks.

What do my fellow nomads think.

Peace and luv

[Reality Check]

MaL,

 

 

Originally posted by Shyhem:

...and a girl's reputation depends on what kind of a woman her mother is.

I'm not even going to bother with this one :rolleyes:

 

Anyway, I could never be like my mother. She is such a strong woman and educated and always on point!!! I'm sure she made her share of mistakes in her life, but thats what made her the person she is today, na'mean. So I guess its time for us to make our own mistakes to get to the right path.

[raula]

my perception on the matter is that there might be the tendancy of one becoming like their parents in regards to genetic makeup...however, I wouldn't argue that completely one ends up takin' up or adopting to their parents characteristics and way of life. I think it depends on the environment and time changes...however, one might sustain to keep the same values, rituals, traditions of their parents depending on how it suits the situation.

[Changed]

u know what we are the epidimy of our parents and i dont think its weird ...and its alway comforting to know my mom did some of the things that am doing now then she cant yell at me namean i could just say hooyo u did it toooooooooooo :rolleyes:

[StarGazer]

Yup, behaviors are learned. Think about it, the way you treat, interact, and judge people came from the same people that raised you. Now if these behaviours are negative and you understand the pattern,then u can eradicate them in order for you not to repeat. Funny, I was just talking about this with a family member not too long ago, and boy-oh-boy, did we discover somethings by analyzing our families. For example, if my aunt behaves a certain way...say she's too controlling, then her mother was the same with her and this is the only thing she knows in how to interact with people. You catch my drift?

 

Sweet dreams Nomads.

[Raxmah]

There are some reflections between parents and children, but it usually depends in the environment they grow up in, and how. Now I can imagine me and my mom ever being alike, we grow up very differently, totally different opinions in most things, but I do share some qualities with my parents, But i dont think they ever made the mistakes i've made, cause they were busy raising kids when let me just say when they were really young.

[Macalin]

I have to thknk abt something smart to say here-coz all yall is Way too smart-

 

Meanwhile i do beleive that some behavioir is learned while some of it is purely Pure Peer pressure.

 

They say in swahili- miradi vidole haviko sawa- - or some like that, i 4got waxaan.yacni shanta farood ma wada sinno!-therefore its part genetics and part behavior~

Now what miss xafsa said abt odaygii indhoolka is 100% INKAAR and NABSI!-that in my opinion is totally different-from behavior

 

Plus my sister and my Mom share alot of stuff but in essence wallahi they are opposites.

 

Flying-BTW~The lifestyles of ur parents and U is tottally diff as such many things do change for example some common habits and taboos in our culture could and or be eliminated thus making it harder for u to have the same style-Just a thot.

[Xafsa]

interesting...everyone seems to have a slightly different take on things.

I agree that basic morals are taught by our parents...but then there are those behaviors that are picked up. We all know that children are very perceptive....so they pick up on things that i'm sure parents didn't intend for them to know.

 

Ok...heres another angle....Do you see yourself raising your kids the same way you were raised?

I think we raise our kids the only way we know how...which is taught to us by our parents. There will always be those major things that you will change but the basic structure of your parenting skills will be similar to that of your parents.

I, for example, don't believe in trying to be friends with your children while they are young. I think that there should be boundries and that they need to understand this is a parent-child relationship. I'm not saying that you shouldn;t ever be friends with them...I just think you should wait until they are old enough to take Responsibility for their actions.

Thats probably one thing I would change from my parents method of raising children.I could be wrong...but then again parenting is trial and error.

[LuCkY]

MOST OF YOU SAID WHAT I WANTED TO SAY.

 

ORIGINALLY POSTED BY FLYING-STILL:

Ok...heres another angle....Do you see yourself raising your kids the same way you were raised?

I think we raise our kids the only way we know how...which is taught to us by our parents. There will always be those major things that you will change but the basic structure of your parenting skills will be similar to that of your parents.

I, for example, don't believe in trying to be friends with your children while they are young. I think that there should be boundries and that they need to understand this is a parent-child relationship. I'm not saying that you shouldn;t ever be friends with them...I just think you should wait until they are old enough to take Responsibility for their actions.

Thats probably one thing I would change from my parents method of raising children.I could be wrong...but then again parenting is trial and error.

FOR THE MOST PART YES I WOULD LIKE TO RAISE MY KIDS THE SAME WAY I WAS BROUGHT UP, HOWEVER I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE SOME CHANGES. MY PARENTS INSTILLED IN ME MORALS, RELIGION, MANNERS, RESPECT MYSELF/OTHERS AND TO HAVE DIGNITY AND PRIDE AND TO NEVER TO LOOK DOWN ON MYSELF...I WOULDNT CHANGE THAT FOR THE WORLD FOR IT HELPED SHAPE THE PERSON I AM TODAY.

MY MOM AND I ARE ALIKE AND DIFFERENT IN MANY WAYS. I WOULDNT MIND MY DAUGHTER MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES I HAVE BECAUSE THEY ARENT MISTAKES THAT I AM ASHAMED OF, SO I THINK ALL IN ALL THAT IT WOULD HELP HER BECOME A BETTER PERSON.

[imperial-lady]

Well this is a complicated topic I believe. If we really examine the behavioral patterns of our parents and some how link it to our selves at the present, do we really see similarities? Well there is two possible answers, one more based on Genetics, the other more on behavioral and enviromental surroundings. It all comes back to that statemet of Nature vs. Narture. I do believe this thought, so long as we inhabit our parents genes we are bound to have similar qualities. So in a sense that answers the question; if our children will turn out like thier parents? Obviously there will be some influences, but the reality is that without any doubt children will become whomever they want, make decisions based on their terms and standards. I hope my children, (IF I HAVE ANY KIDS,) turn out be excatly like me, I think my life is interesting, and will always be interesting!

[A7LA-SHU]

it is so true our parents see themselves when they see us. i know my mom always says dat when she sees me. and i laugh knowin my mom was heard headed like me. hmmm that is where i got it from i guess lol..

 

but i would say it is good thing followin my parents foot steps, couldn't ask for more. hey they sure raised me the best way, who would ask for more when ur whole live is just say it and whatever u want u got it lol.(dalu3ah big time)

 

i would raise my kids the same way but i would listen more, coz my parents are some way old style and the listenin part is sure out of q sometimes with my younger brothers