I have two husbands: A polygamist’s diary

[Valenteenah.]

Resistance, there are quite a few traditionally matriarchal cultures in the world, where women take multiple partners and children take their mother's lineage and name.

 

It's possible, if not probable, for a woman to love more than one man at a time. And if there are no obstacles, why not have her cake and eat it too? From a female perspective, I don't think variety is a bad thing, but it's more difficult for men to accept it (see above posts - coincidence that they all revert, in a demeaning way, to the physical act?). Maybe because the idea puts that evolutionary 'men are natural hunters and bed hoppers' crap to bed.

[Abtigiis]

So, is the long journey through the Mekong river part of the emanucipative journey for having variety?

[Valenteenah.]

No, that's more a life-affirming and confidence-building trip. I was pointing out the naivety of believing polygamy only works for men. Much like anything else, that sort of thing works for certain type of people and I don't think gender would greatly influence it (were women to be given the opportunity).

 

Me, I accept and am quite happy with my Islamic boundaries (greed doesn't feature that much in my life, other than maybe for shoes) so it's all academic.

[Geel_jire]

Originally posted by Abtigiis &Tolka:

One has a receptor and the other a crane. Which is likely to get bad?

in engineering speak .. this is known as mechanical wear and tear .. also known in af-somali as Rifan iyo Lisan

 

lighten up ladies .. waxaan waa iska kaftan

[nuune]

^^^ looooool@rifan & lisan, GJ, innaba caadi ma tihid abti

 

waxaan soo xasuustey kii yiri sadex waan dhaafi kari waayey, hilib la cuno, hilib la koro, iyo hilib hilib lagu liso

[Geel_jire]

^ they don't really mean wear & tear .. but they are the closest i could come up with

 

I remember those two terms from high school somali physics.

 

i think Rifan & lisan means Momentum & friction which cause wear and tear

 

or the other way around.

 

Originally posted by nuune:

waxaan soo xasuustey kii yiri sadex waan dhaafi kari waayey, hilib la cuno, hilib la koro, iyo hilib hilib lagu liso

@ hilib hilib lagu liso... wax kalaa isoo xasuusay sxb, not for public consumption though

[guerilla]

Originally posted by Resistance:

thats the difference in gender.

 

religion aside, we all know a woman tat sleeps around is 'h***' all cultures par none,

A WHORE is a woman who engages in sexual activities for money. I think the correct term here is promiscuous, and quite frankly "religion aside" there's nothing wrong or unnatural about having multiple sexual partners you dense little being.

 

This article is stupid, she's clearly only married to one man.

[Paragon]

They call it Polyandry, and such traditions are commonly accepted in countries like Tibet. I was watching 'On Year In Tibet' TV show once and it was a surprise to learn of one woman's plight. Apparently, the woman wasn't a wife to one husband but to all the brothers in his family, which were more than three. She was obliged to service every brother as a husband. I thought that was a bit unfair as she was already nurturing around 5 children. Might I also mention that the Maasai of Kenya are 'said' to practive this tradition of Polyandry.

 

Peculiar cultures, I'd say. But as one grows older and reads, one tends to learn of things that are of amusing or enlightening nature.

[Sir-Qalbi-Adeyg]

I don't get it, if this gaal woman wants to get jiggy with multiple men, why doesn't she just become a prostitute and earn some money in the process. Clearly not a great way to raise a family, but if it works for them, c'est la vie.

[Chocolate and Honey]

thats the difference in gender.

 

religion aside, we all know a woman tat sleeps around is 'h***' all cultures par none, even if the woman does it knowingly and willingly she will always feel 'used' rather than her using the man. A woman 'uses' a man to an extent, tats using his card to go shopping, getting him to run arond for her, take her everywhere etc. , but if that man gets his way with her then she is being 'used'.

What if she gets TWO of them to do all the things you've mentioned above for her. Isnt she USING them according to you?

[-Serenity-]

Interesting article.

 

Polygyny (one man having more than one wife) and polyandry (one woman having more than one husband) from a family perspective can be a good family environment if its what all the parties want. There is really no difference in terms of needs or ability to be in those kind of relationship(like the jibberish that men want more of the bedroom stuff than woman - these things are person specific and not gender specific).

 

The restrictions in Islam have come about to preserve paternity as in polyandry, its not possible to tell who fathered a certain child...

 

 

.. but now that there is DNA testing... hehe!

[Pucca]

It was interesting at first but towards the end the article became very disturbing.

[Sir-Qalbi-Adeyg]

Originally posted by -Serenity-:

Interesting article.

 

Polygyny (one man having more than one wife) and polyandry (one woman having more than one husband) from a family perspective can be a good family environment if its what all the parties want. There is really no difference in terms of needs or ability to be in those kind of relationship(like the jibberish that men want more of the bedroom stuff than woman - these things are person specific and not gender specific).

 

The restrictions in Islam have come about to preserve paternity as in polyandry, its not possible to tell who fathered a certain child...

 

 

.. but now that there is DNA testing... hehe!

Are you saying islam needs to be updated?

 

But religion aside, how is this good for the family? I mean polygamy is practical in the sense that one man and many women is more productive in terms of producing children, but one woman and multiple men is not natural at all unless of course there was a shortage of women.

 

Not to mention, biologically speaking most men seek quantity while women seek quality or that's what psychological studies and common sense have shown.

[MZanzi]

wale weey raaxeesatay laakin sal adakaa

[Gheelle.T]

Here is where it actually got more interesting,check how the family is expanded and few more people added in.

 

Fast forward to today, and our family is now composed of Alan, Eric, Leslie, Amber, and myself, plus our children: Todd, Steve, Jennifer, Lisa, and Amber is currently pregnant. Eric and Leslie are legally married, and we've added a few rooms to the house. We have two family meetings a week, one of which is for adults only, both of which can get lively and loud. We've had our arguments over money, people monopolizing other people's time, dealing with children's issues, and so forth — like any other family — but we just have more voices in the discussion.