Mail-Order-Groom

[Buuxo]

^Adiga wax aragtay nuunow...indho adeygaas dumar somali kuma akhoon.Kuwaan arkey 5 years hadey ugu badatoo bey kaweyn yihiin ninka.

[nuune]

Cabdiyo, aduunyadii hore een naqiiney laga tag huuno, hada waxaa lagu jiraa aduunya madaxa ku socoto minjahana cirka loo taagey.

 

La yaab malahan!

[Buuxo]

Walee been maadan sheegin.Dumar waxaan arkey ilmahooda dayacey oo nimanka garaabad la cuno ..maxaan kala yaabi markey nimanki sidii disposable sikiin u isticmaalaan.

[Warmoog]

This mail-order groom thing must still be uncommon in my community. I haven't yet seen any cases of it.

 

There is probably an element of self-interest in all marriages, as Cabdiyo said, but I tend to think the motives of the mail-order people (both the men and women) border on the I'm-about-to-hit-the-high-seas, tahriib-style kind of desperation. They view their prospective Qurbo-Joog husband or wife as their ticket out of Africa. So any thoughts of Duqqa's limp or Ceebla's dentures are outweighed by the hope that this person will take them to Qurbaha, the lands of opportunity and easy living in their eyes. If the general trend is that the grooms leave their wives as soon as they secure their stay in the new country while the brides stick with their husbands, it could be that they are more loyal or actually want to stay with their husbands. It could also be that they have no other options. I think the brides would have a harder time leaving their husbands, even when they want/need to.

 

For one, compared to their male counterparts, they may find it more difficult to become financially independent of their spouses. When you are brought to a new country to take on the traditional role of a wife and you don’t know the language or have the skills/credentials to earn a decent living, you are stuck with whomever brought you for at least a few years. The divorcee status also seems to carry a sort of stigma that affects women more negatively than it does men. Divorce means freedom to the eager-to-bail groom, but to the average bride it probably means something completely different. Anyway, you know some enterprising Xaliimos are going to turn this mail-order groom thing into a business venture soon. Bye-bye bacadle, hello big pimpin'. Keep an eye out for the catalogs.

[Saqajaan]

It's a win win situation, the old habar gets a companion for a few years and the young man get's a ticket to the west. String the old habar along for a few years until you get citizenship while getting a piece on the side and divorce her when the time is right.