Somalinglish Love Story: When FaaRaX hits on XaliiMO

[money]

When Faarax hits on Xaliimo: Somalinglish love story.

 

Xaliimo was a very beautiful and hot gabar. Her qurux was like jowharad that would make you sleepless for nights, nights of wet dreams and probably undeserved isku-junuub. She is boqorod and full of suuro and jinniyo, the kind of girl that most of ciyaal xaafad would love to be with. She was tall, dhiig furan and with a super model physique. She had a big booty, dhaxyar and naaso taagtaagan. She had a wicked smile and heavenly indho-deero that would make you think of the Xural Ceynta janadda.

 

They say jaceylku is blind and makes you jileec. From the first day her family moved into our xaafad, I was struck by her qurux and wanted inaan ku dhaco. Somehow, ma helin a chance. One day I saw her walking in the suuq buying some dirac for the coming aroos party in saturday habeen at Habaryar isniino's wedding hall, doing hard gorgorton, getting cilaan on long fingers and gacmaha xaada lah, getting her timaheeda garbaha jooga done, and chilling with her girfriends. I tried my best to overcome my unnatural xishood and went straight to her to say “ abaayo, iska waran? My name is Faarax”. I wanted to be cool and self-confident and I wanted to let her know jaceylka aan u qabo.

 

After my is-maqiiqin and indho-adeeg, I found myself in front of her, frozen and speechless. My geesinimo went out of the dariishad. I couldn’t even dheh xataa one word. I started to gariir and dhidid. I was like a tiny leaf in a small Geed caught in a dabeel waalan ala tornado. After a daqiiqad or two. I was able to jooji the trembling but the sweating waa iska socday like fire hydrant ciyaal fureen in a blazing summer day. What an embarrassment!

 

She qosol at my awkwardness and lack of geesinimo. So did the other Xaliimos that were with her. I neceyb them fat and fulxumo chicks that are always with her like body guards. They remind you of that song: Buur buuranaayee alla ma buunsheey cuni jireenee. And specially that dhuxul gubatay la mood Faadumo Gaab. Her shortness is like a ganbar lugaha laga gooyay.

 

Xaliimo looked me kor iyo hooos and walked away from me with jeesto, giggling and laughing. I could hear Faadumo Gaab saying ….what an alwaax!!.

 

I wished I was meyd aan nooleeyn but I was breathing si xoog badan. I regained myself control and started to orod from this fadeexo like a tuug maalin cad la qabtay. I went straight to my guri, and went to my qol, slammed the albaab behind me, jumped on the sariir, found my go’ and barkin and started to hide myself from the yaxyax and jac that followed me all the way from the awful is-biimeen and ill-choreographed ku-dhacoow. After hours of painful shalaay and galgalasho, I fell into a nice hurdo. Dreams , qarow and riyo became my comfort, I dreamt of her, she was with me in the sariir, lying by my dhinac, giving me warmth and raaxo. I was in Jano Aduun!

 

Knock, knock on the door and loud bang woke me up of what could have been one of my wild imaginations with Xaliimo. It was my little hyperactive walaalkeeyga yar, waking me up with his usual feer and faralaab. What a little nuisance that I have to adkeeysi him walaahi on daily basis as if beat him my hooyo would call all my adeero gardheerayaal who will then take me to masaajidka and keep me there for wacdi. He spoiled my dream and I had to beat the hell out of him and vent all my ciil on him. He ran away to the qolka fadhiga. I ran afer him. She was there. Xaliimo was there, sitting with my abaayo and hooyo. I was only wearing one duluf macaawiis .She could see my skinny feero and hairy xabad. Again, I stood there like alwaax and speechless. Embarrassment fooqul embarrassment! This inkaar again?

 

Xaliimo and my heartless abaayo started to laugh at me. My hooyo started to tuur her kab on me. “war nacasyahow, soo gasho shaar, gabar baa kuu joogtee” Hooyo shouted me. I ran like tuug la qabtay talo ma leh back to my qol. I didn’t want to go back to fadhiga.

 

Knock, knock on the door and it was my pitiless abaayo this time. “ war marax yhaow soo bah, gabar baa ku sugeeysa” she taunted me with her challenged but improving Somali luqad she boowsid from dariska. We have loud and bad-mannered new Somali daris fresh out of the boat.

 

I wanted to say “bax naga tag” but that was not ragnimo thing to do. I took my shukumaan and went straight to musqusha, titir my face and get the fiish out of my indho, brushed my coffee stained ilko dhaadheer. I took a cold shower, get out of it and started is qalajis and qurxin, combing my jareer hair with shanlo, and putting some lotion on my dry skin. I came back to my qol and changed into a nice shaar and surwaal jeans and went straight to fadhiga, Xaliimo was there sitting in the fadhi carbeed; eating buskut, xalwo and drinking qaxwo qaraar like she is a marti in Eid celebrations. She looked and smiled at me. I sat horteeda and murmured something that sounded like a salaan.

 

My mother started her obvious marmarsiyo to excuse herself and others to let me be all alone with the quruxleeyda na soo booqatay. “ war maxamed iyo asli, kaalaya iiga soo qaada the threadmill from the basement” and they all left fadhiga to the basement. I kept silent for a daqqiiqo or two and Xaliimo started to break the ice by saying “hooyadaa is cool!” I was like “yeah” and then I asked her what she is doing in our Guri. “ I came to see you. What you did in the suuqa maanta was amazing. I saw qof waalan but wax jecel and I felt that jaceeyl.” I couldn’t believe it. I was like is this another riyo or real? Gabartu dhiiranaa!!!.., A Xaliimo so geesi to come to you Guri to ask you out! lama arag lama maqal! this must be A joke! “ Look Faarax, aboowe you are a nice guy and I would like us to know each other better and yaa og what could happen” Xaliimo continued. I was like this is crazy shukaansi and sheeko unlike I have seen. A xaliimo, so daring and bold. Yaabka yaabkiis, All I could say was “Haye”like baari. “one of us has to have the initiative and be the man….you made the first move oo waa igu dhacday , … so I fakir inaan retun the favor and come to you.” All I could say was “haye”again like caano madaadshe “ so you know meesha la iga helo and here is my number, I soo wac, aboowe” she stood up and walked toward albaabka. I followed her and u furay albaabka and like a gentleman did little bit of sagootis that was kind cool saan u maleeynaayo. As I closed the door, I started to jump and shout with farax. “YES! YES!” Waanba iska hilmamay all the embarrassment for the day. I was jumping and shouting for dhowr daqiiqo unaware my surroundings and who is around my geeso and hereero or not. God is good..ilaaheey ma ku gargaaraa mise ganfuur ganfuur.. my joy was on the roof and caadaas!

 

My hooyo, abaayo and little devilish brother were all in front of me ..with yaab and qosol at my weird moves. I didn’t give damn about them. My sister Asli again flexed her newly acquired taunting repertoire of Somalia on me with her carabla’ accent she said “ walaahi ahadkan waa la soo haayaa” She can't pronounce the Xa and Ca in Somalia and sounds like a Gaal speaking Somali.

[Emerald]

WOW!

Did you write this yurself?!

what happens next?

[Hayat]

nice read. it seems that xaalimo was very nice, i would never speak to a guy that would not be man enough to approach me. she is a keeper that one................if this is at all a true story.

[Geel_jire]

LOL enjoyed the story money.

 

it was quite a mental exercise rapidly switching between somali and english or i just might be getting old

[money]

I did it will continue ... that was just a prelude to a more entertaining and unpredictable love story.

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Nice sheeko, well written as well. Ereyada sida meelaha loo gilgiliye i dishayba. I am glad dad ayaa saas camal u qorooyo, I felt lonely because saas intaas sano u qori jiree kaligee.

[Intuition]

LooL, now thats my sort of Somali. Loved the story when will we see the next chapter?

[Nephissa]

They say jaceylku is blind and makes you jileec. From the first day her family moved into our xaafad, I was struck by her qurux and wanted inaan ku dhaco. Somehow, ma helin a chance. One day I saw her walking in the suuq buying some dirac for the coming aroos party in saturday habeen at Habaryar isniino's wedding hall, doing hard gorgorton, getting cilaan on long fingers and gacmaha xaada lah, getting her timaheeda garbaha jooga done, and chilling with her girfriends. I tried my best to overcome my unnatural xishood and went straight to her to say “ abaayo, iska waran? My name is Faarax”. I wanted to be cool and self-confident and I wanted to let her know jaceylka aan u qabo.

Awww..so cute and nicely written!

[Kool_Kat]

And specially that dhuxul gubatay la mood Faadumo Gaab. Her shortness is like a ganbar lugaha laga gooyay.

LOOOOOL...Maxaa saas loogu dhameeyay maskiinta...Probably tan kuligood maskaxda ka heysato waaye the whole group...

 

Janta fagax yaah...Dhidid lahaa tahay maxaa dhahaa dheh...Isagoo skinny feero, hairy xabad, ilko dhaadheer, timo jareerleh muuba Xaliimo Xuural Ceyn la moodyay buu haweystay? LOL

 

Me like this Somalinglish love story...

[Tuujiye]

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool well writen Money!! lol

 

 

Wareer Badanaa!!!

[money]

Maanta I am feeling all good for two sabab: One is I am taking Xaliimo out to Maqaayad and Shaneemo. I don’t know which one aan Horumariyo. Should we first aad to the movie theatres and ka dib dinner or the other way around. Eating late night waa laga fiican yahay unless you gonna be up habeenkoo dhan which could be the case since beri is Saturday but Xaliimo wants to go that aroos Saturday night, so she has to be in bed for saacado to get her beauty sleep. She doesn’t want to go there iyadoo indho-fiiqan and gooman dhaadheer plus I can’t have another night of dhafar and maqaaqo-dhuuq. So it is got to be early movie, then casho, then coming back to xaafad and getting some deserved hurdo. A good qorsho right?

 

Xaliimo and I had a brief hadal over the phone. This was my markii ugu horeeysay to ring her and talk to her over teleefanka. I wasn’t nervous rack like markii hore plus her sexy cod was soothing and macaan. We discussed waxaan sameeyn doono and how it is going to be heer sare to be all kaligeen. But to my qalbi-jab, she wants Faadumo Gaab to come with us. I first said maya!.I had to totally diid sheekadan raqiista ah. Who I am dating here? Xaliimo Xuural Ceyn or Gaabeey madax-musmaar, the notorious gaanjibo and gang-leader in the Xaafad? No way Jose! Yaa la caarifaa? I want this balan to be all kaligeey with Xaliimo and to have waqti fiican with her only and not a whole bunch of gaanjibayaal.

 

I protested and expressed my ka-soo-horjeed of this but Xaliimo suggested that I should bring one of my saaxiibayaal to fix with Gaabo? Are you kaftanning me ? who is , in his right maskxa will go with gaabo? Xaliimo gave me kama danbeeyn, If gaabo is not coming, no balan, no movie or casho aadoow! I tried to reason with Xaliimo but to no guul.What a dilemma! I had to aqbal this lame soo-jeedin and I said waayahay. Let me pick you up maqribka in front of your guri.

 

Well, I had to get my hommie, Cali-Atoore. He is the coolest xariif in the xaafad who will never disappoint you and markasta gets your back when aa u baahato. Atoore said yes to being a double date. He is into shorties and since Faadumo Gaabo is a thick shortie with not that bad jir. I think he is gonna have a blast with her. Besides, when it comes to indho-adeegnimo and being cool-cat, he is raggeedii. I had to codsi this from him to keep Gaabo mashquul and to not outsmart me or inuu isku dayo to be funnier or cooler than me. I have to impress Xaliimo and be the man! Atoore assures me that wax kasta will be OK. Man, is this guy a friend la isku haleeyn karo or what?

 

Now that I took care of this, my next move was to get a nice gaari. My Qanax Honda has muffler qaylo badan plus it only has labo albaab and it is too duq. Xaliimo drives a nice Passat cusub but since I am taking her out, I can’t ask her to isticmaal her car. So I phoned my other saaxiib Xasan Xiito who works at Budget rental car. He can hook me up with a luxury car. Xiito told me all luxury cars waa la ijaartay for the weekend but he will hook me up with a full size Ford Expedition. This ma wanaagsana. Sababta hore, SUVs consumes a lot of gas and I am qaac, broke-a$$ and ma awoodo to fill it up. Secondly, it is is tus-tus and an invitation for a carjack. With all the madoow waalan in our ghetto, it is not safe be driving an expedition habeenkii. I had to settle for a mid size.

 

Caawa is the night. I have casual labis , so is my saaxiib cali. I called Xaliimo and she is running late mashquul with something but tells me she will be done in labaatan daqiiqo. That is cool. I pray fast maqrib and ask Allah to make this balan go smooth. As I started my salad, a loud noise comes from Fadhiga. My sister Asli is now listening to Somali hees with Cali Atoore whom she had a crush before Hooyo found out and suggested she will be arranged to marry him just si looga nixiyo. She used to listen R&B and Rap but since this new qaxooti cid came from Kenya, she is into Somali. In a way, this is good but not now and not that hees of Maryan Mursal. –

“balantii aan dhiganaba waligaa ha beeneeyn, barashadii kalgacalkana bilaash yaaneey kula noqon” damn, I am in the middle of my salaat and I am following the lyrics of this hees? Wiswaas fooqul wiswaas! And why it has to be balan and barasho? Not like that Magool song she was listening – Nin lagu seexdoow ha seexan? Which my sister thinks it is all about a naag telling her husband not to sleep. I am doomed. This could be a bad omen. I ka bax salaat and go to fadhi and shut the whole CD-Player. “Waan tukaneeynaa, naga dami heesahaaga waalan” I shouted at her. I came back to my qol and xirtay another Salaat. I prayed degdeg and asked allah again to make this balan go smooth.

[Biixi]

Money

 

lol @ "My sister Asli is now listening to Somali hees with Cali Atoore whom she had a crush before Hooyo found out and suggested she will be arranged to marry him just si looga nixiyo."

 

Good read, Where is your blog?

[Ibtisam]

Loooooooooooooooooool, I've never read such mad mix of somali and english! lol HAha. Nice read. thanks.

[PlayMaker]

balantii aan dhiganaba waligaa ha beeneeyn, barashadii kalgacalkana bilaash yaaneey kula noqon” damn, I am in the middle of my salaat and I am following the lyrics of this hees? Wiswaas fooqul wiswaas! And why it has to be balan and barasho? Not like that Magool song she was listening – Nin lagu seexdoow ha seexan? Which my sister thinks it is all about a naag telling her husband not to sleep. I am doomed

lolo..OMG i couldn't stop loughing ..thanks this was real nice..I hope you well with your xaliimo..

[Urban]

Fresh.