suban Posted June 28, 2003 Hello to all my brothers and sisters. Not so long ago i had a big argument with a male friend of mine. It seems to me that more and more of us are ending up in a "relationship" which involves sex. My friend thought it was ok if the girl was ready for it an if the couple were seriously devoted to one another. "at least it is better than losing a guy to a foreigner who is putting it out" i was told. Come on now, am i te only one who believes that no matter how serious you are or how inlove, sex should not a major part. When it does become essential, get married. That was the way of our parents. The way of our religion. So why s it that more brothers are putting pressure on heir girlfriends to sleep with them? And why are we girls losing our virtue because of curiosity? As all rational minded somalis know, once a girl has been around the block, no man, respected or otherwise, will want her. Not even the one she trusted and gave her virginity to. Some of our boys have become so corrupted that they assure a girl that it's Ok, they will marry her anyway. I can understand how naive us girls can be when we think we love someone, but what happened to looking out for one another? My friend asked me if iwas just cold or jaded. Nither one. I just believe in death before dishonour. My question to you guys would be, would you expect a girl to sleep with you if you have dated her for some time? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gabbal Posted June 28, 2003 Of course not, and if she suggested it i would leave her in a second. Aduunyadaan dadka wee qaribtaa, waa inla iska ilaaliyo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stpaulchick Posted June 28, 2003 Sis I know this is a question for the fellaz but I just had to say something about ur friend that u had this conversation with. I can't believe someone even thought that way :eek: .It's actually not weird to hear that 'cause I know this guy back in high school and he would talk about the same thing and have the same views. It doesn't matter how close ur relationship is with ur gurl is that still doesn't give u the options. Ur religion should come first. That guy needs to be taught a lesson, but i'm sure u let him have it. I do agree, death before dishonour. But I also believe Deen before pleasure. But this was a good topic. Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted June 28, 2003 Sisters don't let few boys with twisted thoughts fool you. Preserve yourselves for the better. Girls you know you're clever so act on it please. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bad_Boy Posted June 28, 2003 JAMAAL-11 SAID IT RIGHT. DON'T LET COUPLE GUYS WITH TWISTED MIND FOOL YA'LL. AND THEM COUPLE GUYS DON'T TALK FOR EVERY MEN.AIIGHT UNDERSTAND THAT .... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SomeAlien Posted June 28, 2003 you know i dont believe in sex before marriage but i also dont believe my virtue lies in whats between my legs, or my "virginity"is a gift. theres no such thing as "virginity" yr either a virgin or yr not. double standards like the one you used anger me. you said :"As all rational minded somalis know, once a girl has been around the block, no man, respected or otherwise, will want her. Not even the one she trusted and gave her virginity to." now this may be true but it doesnt make it right, and its certainly not "rational", and i cant understand why any woman would just accept this type of attitude towards other women. what other people do or believe in is really no concern of anyone, i understand you particularly getting defensive when this particular guy brought up the subject cause its not for you, and neither is it for me, but putting them down, judging them and comparing them to the lowest common denominator isnt right either. live and let live and stand firm in yr own beliefs. i thought the cool thing about being muslim is that we dont go around shaming and "converting" people who dont ask to be. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suban Posted June 28, 2003 Dear somealien, it's not about judging people, its just about bringing an issue out in the open. I don't like to judge others on their behaviour because i am not perfect myself. And i am not defending those that act according to certain stereotypes. I just care about our people and traditions. And ignoring something won't make it go away. Do you disagree? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
king_450 Posted June 28, 2003 Dear Sister , one thing that bothers me a lot is the think called B/F , G/F. Do you know in reality It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together. Imagine that engaged ppl can't even do things that the so called B/F, G/f are doing. So use your judgement i know ladies all of you are smart enough. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted June 28, 2003 virginity is but the purpose of perpetually preserving perfect chastity in one who abstains from sexual pleasures. therefore, if you put it on a mantle and wanna give it to chosen farah, please avoid casual dating make sure to tow the line that will produce that farah. as the saying goes dont throw stones if u live in glass house!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Woman Posted June 29, 2003 somealien theres no such thing as "virginity" wat do u mean??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raxmah Posted June 29, 2003 Asalamu alaikum If a guy is a muslim, he shouldn't in the first place be asking you to have sex with him so he can keep you, the guy obviosly has no respect whatsoever for islam and some1 like that is not worth being close to. And am all confused ppl, why is it that we are so afraid to have sex, but its okay to go out, date, kiss, have the b/f g/f thing going on, all that is as haram as having sex. That is what leads to sex and those guys with twisted minds are using that to their advantage because they don't fear Allah SWT. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raxmah Posted June 29, 2003 Asalamu alaikum If a guy is a muslim, he shouldn't in the first place be asking you to have sex with him so he can keep you, the guy obviosly has no respect whatsoever for islam and some1 like that is not worth being close to. And am all confused ppl, why is it that we are so afraid to have sex, but its okay to go out, date, kiss, have the b/f g/f thing going on, all that is as haram as having sex. That is what leads to sex and those guys with twisted minds are using that to their advantage because they don't fear Allah SWT. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SomeAlien Posted June 29, 2003 Originally posted by Simple Woman: somealien theres no such thing as "virginity" wat do u mean??? i mean yr either a virgin or yr not. there is no essence called virginity, there are no degrees of virginity (small, medium, large), youve either had sex or you havent, your either waiting for mr right or mr right now, but either way there is nothing yr really "saving" or"sharing" other than an experience. also suban, i dont mind you putting what concerns our people in the for front, but what i disagree with is the idea that this is a new phenomenon. i sincerely doubt there has evr been a time or a place in all of history where people didnt have pre-marital sex, regardless of culture or religion. secondly, not every muslim is religious. remember people usually claim the religion they were born into, which doesnt mean they re practising it. another thing is that i didnt mean to offend you if thats what you thought, but yr original post did sound a lil "high and mighty preacher sister"... at least to me it did. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sumaya_Gedi Posted June 29, 2003 I’m not going to write some long essay so therefore I would like to keep it short and simple. If Allah (SWT) says it is wrong to have sex or anything of that nature outside wedlock then we have no choice to obey the almightys command. Those who disagree well that’s your problem and keep it that way! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SHAKA ZULU Posted June 29, 2003 if you're his Girlfriend then you should sleep with him. because where in Islam does it say about B/F and G/F? there is nothing called boyfriend or girlfriend and if you accept to fall in that category then yeah do whatever he asks of you to do because it is not more than what you deserve. big up to all the girls who respect themselves enough to keep their knees locked togather and for those who didn't then count me out of your male suitors. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
