Caashooyinka 101

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Of my six years on here, I never participated any gender wars. Frankly, I find those topics and this subject pretty boring and quite childish. Nin isku kalsoon gabdhaha walaalihiis wanaag uma diido.

 

Nonetheless, once in a while, I keep receiving a particular caasho-bashing forwarded email. I am sure many of you had read some version of it before.

 

It is a bit offensive, and not that much amusing. Here it goes, anyway.

 

Xaliimo types

 

1) Sacdiyo Shacni

• She's very religious.
• Listens to BBC Soomaali.
• She only knows how to read and write Soomaali.
• Very tribal.
• She know everybody and their clans.
• For her, there is nothing called a date; if you want her, come to her dad's home officially.

Caution, guys

• She's one of those girls that most Soomaali men in West marry when they go back home; apparently until they realize that the poor girl can't

  differentiate between a piriton and an aspirin.

2) Haboon Haad

• She's over 30 and still single.
• Economically, she's all good.
• She drives a 4X4.
• She's suspicious of all men.

Caution, guys

• She has had seen every men and their tricks, so be careful with her; don't be the fool who tried to talk to her with some tired lines. Be creative.

3) Raaxo Raggeedi

• You will probably spot her wearing jeans.
• She hangs out around Starbucks or you will spot her window-shopping.
• She never buys at JC Penney -- she subscribers to Vanity Fair or Vogue magazines.
• She knows Tom Cruise's middle name.
• First time you meet her, she gives you some concocted name like Rasina Intisaar, Tahaani, or even Ishwaaq until you realize she is called Faaduma.
• She just finished reading Dennis Lehane's 'Mystic River.' She is currently reading Steven Levitts' 'Freakonomics'

Caution, guys

• The problem with this kind of girls is not that can I shukaansi her, the problem should be can I maintain her?
• You can take her out to restaurant and you order the good old coke and fries, and there she goes ordering Veggie Lasagna with Jamocha Shake and topings. Next day your wallet will be hospitalized for severe bankruptcy -- I am not joking guys.

4) Ardo Abaayo

• She probably finished high school.
• She acts hard-to-get even if she's dying for you.
• She listenes Jubba's and Samatar's songs.
• She hangs around with her friends which makes hard for men to approach her; she says no to first dates (as if first dates should be turned down from the men).

Caution, guys

• The only way is if you tell her you love her very much, she will trust you until she got you cheating -- she will never forgive you in her life!

5) Baxsan Baashaal

• Every teenage boy knows her
• You will spot her in every wedding videos and parties
• If there's rumour that tonight a party is cancelled, the whole town calls her to confirm the lie -- easy to hook-up.

Caution, guys

• She's falling in love with more men than she care to drop -- that's why she's getting played; easy on her, though, she's got a clean heart.

6) Waris Wiilo

• She is always in the middle of the boys.
• She watches soccer.
• She know Ronaldo's first name, middle and last name.
• Like a true boy, she changes the lighting bulb at home and can fix a broken cupboard.
• She's the one who answers the door bell every time it rings.

Caution, guys

• She's more of a boy than a girl.

[Jacaylbaro]

Hmmmmmmmmmm

[rudy-Diiriye]

some how i keep into running into Baxsan Baashaal! nasty gal.

 

How about Mandeeq!

shes really so kool on the phone and pics, but when u pick her up at airport, u keep passing her saying to yourself...hell no that aint her in your head. but its her.

 

You disconnect your phone after she leaves lool.

[Kool_Kat]

Originally posted by rudy:

How about Mandeeq!

shes really so kool on the phone and pics, but when u pick her up at airport, u keep passing her saying to yourself...hell no that aint her in your head. but its her.

 

You disconnect your phone after she leaves lool.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL...You killed me caawa walahi...Bas bas...

 

MMA, saa u socotay, saan maa keentay hadana? How many Raaxo Raggeedi aaku soomareen? Runta sheeg?

 

I know waaaaaaaaay too many Haboon Haads...Good for them thou...

[nuune]

MMA, loool, waxbaba kama aadan taginbe, ar boojaalahaan gacmaha kala bax aan ku dhahey ama qumaati gacmaha ula gal!

[Malika]

MMA,

 

You should have stick to your principles yakhii.

[Jamster]

lol@ Freakonimincs; I am dating one who is currently reading this book; and you hit the nail on the head. One caveat though; she sometimes pays the dinner.

[-Lily-]

^^^ I thought you were a married father of 3?

[Ibtisam]

^^^^^He also thinks he is UKraine, must be UK thing/ confusion everyone is a detective these days. HAHA

[-Lily-]

^^I'm more concerned he is taking the piss out of that book, it was a good read.

[Jamster]

Lily, the book is just drivel; "young" levitt is everything but an economist.

 

Am I not allowed to to marry three?

 

Ghahra: xagee igala qaadey? I am ukraine and the caasho who reads is brunnete russian

[Kool_Kat]

^LOOOOOL@three...Three more it is...Show them how it is done...Rageedii...lol

[Malika]

Fahiye;Then she doesnt fall into the categories MMA presented about Xalimos.Hadhee Russian tahay,that wasnt any news..Lol

[Dhagax-Tuur]

For some reason, there are alot more Raaxo Raggeedii out there...

[Jamster]

Kool Kat; any man who says he is satisfied with one woman is nothing but *&%^&*! The truth is when you are commited to one you will always meet another one who captures your imagination; what do you ought to do then huh? The fact that the marriage doctrinal of Islam allows man to marry more than one woman is indicative of the naturality of the act; so dontfrown upon the men like me; we are merely satisfying our natural needs

 

Dahia; I was reffering to the freakonomics book and how the description was rather close.