Postpartum depression: is it real?

[roobleh]

Depression: the silent sickness

 

By MARGIE RIGNEY

3/20/07

 

I don't go to the doctor very often. In fact, when I went last week, I asked him when my last visit was, and it was in December. That doesn't mean I haven't been sick, I just usually treat myself with OTC meds or previously prescribed "remedies." When that doesn't work, I usually find out too late that whatever I have has mutated into some sort of "uber" illness that requires antibiotics. The reason I wait is because I am in denial. I don't like admitting I can become susceptible to things out of my control. So lately, when I noticed I had chest pain, pain in my arm and I was easily agitated, I thought it best to make an appointment.

 

During my exam, which indicated a rise in blood pressure, but normal EKG, we began to discuss different diagnoses and just as I had feared, the term "chemical imbalance" popped up and reared its head once again in my life.

 

When I was first diagnosed with depression, or a chemical imbalance, my daughter was 11 months old. What I had self-diagnosed as "baby blues'' when she was a newborn, was actually post-partum depression. Because I didn't share my deep feelings with my OB/gyn at my check-up, I developed a chemical imbalance before she was a year old. I loved her so very much, but I felt so overwhelmed. I felt like if I admitted or shared my issues of being tired, frustrated or unhappy people would think I was a horrible person and mother, so I kept those feelings to myself. I am sure others could see that I was not myself, I had two other children, and I am sure my baby could sense it as well. Perhaps that is why she was such a fussy baby, she was trying to tell mama something, but I was just too stubborn to listen.

 

When my doctor told me a few years ago I had depression I thought he had to be mistaken. Weren't depressed people in bed? I certainly never did that. I could barely sleep at night, much less during the day. I was one of the busiest women I knew. I ran a house, gardened, kept people fed, clean and on time for the school bus. This couldn't be me, I was too busy for depression.

 

My physician explained to me that there are many symptoms of depression, and that I was someone who made too much adrenaline, which certainly explained why I had begun to run my house like a boot camp and noticed that the woman in the mirror was wearing quite a noticeable frown.

 

In the midst of my depression, I couldn't see it. The old saying "you can't see the forest for the trees''is certainly true. I felt so put upon and laden with work. Instead of facing each morning as a fresh start, I felt like it was just another day I would never get back. Keeping this to myself, I went through each day as usual and struggled to keep a sparkling clean house in the process. A few times when the thought of seeking help came over me, I would tuck that idea away, and say to myself that I was just being selfish. Giving in to the thought of seeking medical help seemed like a weakness on my part.

 

Looking back, I had truly lost touch with what life was all about, and I was doing a disservice to myself, my husband and my children too. Because as we all know, if mama's not happy, nobody's happy.

 

Now that I know more about depression, it is a comfort to know I can overcome it. I realize that this situation is only temporary and it doesn't mean that I am crazy or getting ready for a nervous breakdown. Thanks to the fact that I now have a doctor I can talk to openly, I know I am just a bit off balance and I need a little medicinal "kick stand" to right myself again.

 

So, I didn't want to be ashamed or silent about my situation, I wanted to share my struggle, because there may be someone out there dealing with these same issues. I want you to know that you aren't alone, and that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength, and you are important and worthy of a healthy and happy life.

 

Thank you for reading today, I truly appreciate your time.

 

Margie Rigney is a happily married and blessed mother of three. She and her family have been residents of Georgetown for nearly eight years. You can reach her at mrigney@adelphia.net

[Cara.]

I don't know about the chemical imbalance, but surely such a huge life change would bring some anxieties and sadness in any case. You've gone through a physically grueling process, you're tired, you are responsible for a helpless infant who depends on you for life itself, you can't get enough sleep, you may be in physical pain or discomfort, your body has changed alarmingly (remember how freaky puberty was?), and people expect you to be happy all the time. If that's not cause for occasionally feeling blue I don't know what is. The real concern is someone who's overwhelmed to the point of harming themselves or their child. There should be a nonjudgemental, compassionate way to identify and reach out to those people.

[roobleh]

Cara,

 

I used to be skeptic until I saw what happened to a lady that I knew. Before this happen to her, she was somebody that you would admire her capabilities and strong will. After she got the depression she could not feed her kids and could not even take care of herself. Then she started having thoughts of suicide, and that is when she sought help and was admitted to hospital to get treatment.

[hodman]

Depression is treatable but without treatment and acceptance it can be disabling. The saddest thing about post partum depression is the expectations that everyone has of a new or in this case third time mother, she is expected to put herself last and that can be isolating to say the least. For someone from a culture that stigmatizes depression like most African communities then the pressure is double

[roobleh]

Does this kind of depression starts usually after having the third child? Or that is when this depression is at its worst stage and most noticeable?

 

Well, almost all the people I know or heard who have this depression, it starts soon after having their third child. And the problem becomes worst as mother starts blaming herself for not being able to take care of her family by not feeding kids regularly, not able to clean the house and feeling bad all the time. Since we, men, are ignorant about this disease we have no choice but blame her for being lazy.

[Malika]

Oh God, raising kids is hard work, there is a saying "Giving birth is a child play compare to raising a child".

 

Post natal depression is very common in the west,where support systems for the new-mother is scarces.Well back home, a new mother was taken care by the immediate family,she didnt have to worry about her other children as well..people too care of all the running of the house etc.

Where here,after the exhaustation of giving birth,you come home,where if your lucky the hubby is a caring man and helps.The late nights with a baby, the morning with the other kids needing your attention,the hubby sulking because he didnt get dinner last night..no wonder the poor women get ill.

 

Only last year, a few women I know got severe depressed,were sent home for the traditional treatments, with Wadaads and some TLC from their families.

This is an issue to be address in out community,especially how to support and tackle post natal depression.

[roobleh]

Symptoms of postpartum depression:

 

Trouble sleeping

Feeling irritable, angry, or nervous

Feeling exhausted

Not enjoying life as much as in the past

Lack of interest in the baby

Lack of interest in friends and family

Lack of interest in sex

Feeling guilty or worthless

Feeling hopeless

Crying uncontrollably

Feelings of being a bad mother

Trouble concentrating

Low energy

Thoughts of harming the baby or harming herself