Suicide Bomb Deterrent

[Geel_jire]

PHOENIX, July 22 /PRNewswire/ -- Mark S. Price, a specialist in public security, and his privately held company, Paradise Lost Antiterrorism Network of America (

www.plan-a.us

), have recently applied to the United States Patent and Trademark Office for a Utility Patent on their Suicide Bomb Deterrent, a security device designed, manufactured and distributed by PLAN-A.

This device has been designed to warn and deter potential fanatical religious suicide bomb-wielding terrorists from otherwise detonating an explosive charge within close proximity of said device, to the intended end of successfully accomplishing its namesake purpose of Suicide Bomb Deterrent and the protecting and preserving of all life and property otherwise in mortal and destructive danger. The device is presently scheduled for deployment at several high traffic public venues around the nation in order to protect America's vital transportation and critical infrastructure, and is manufactured to serve its warning and deterrent affect in all manner of placements, to include automotive, airplane, rail, residential, office, industrial and governmental concerns.

A minimally redacted copy of the Patent Disclosure Document, giving full and complete details of the design and operational parameters of said device, is available for download review at the company website noted above. Mr. Price may be contacted by direct e-mail to

Fat-Al@Cox.Net

.

 

Link

[Geel_jire]

The following is excerpts from the patent disclosure document.

 

A significant and unfulfilled need of human lifesaving proportion presently exists in the field

of preventing suicide bombing attacks altogether. What is needed is a personally controlled suicide

bomb deterrent which presents as defensive, rather than offensive, in nature, design, and

implementation, incorporates a preemptive methodology of deterrence, rather than reactionary, to be

utilized before, rather than after, a first suicide bombing has occurred, in operational pursuit of

protecting and preserving all human life, potential bombers and intended victims alike

In accordance with one embodiment, the present invention as claimed is a manufactured

device of self-defense designed to preemptively warn and deter the potential fanatical religious

suicide bombing terrorist from otherwise detonating an explosive charge in close proximity thereto,

comprising a frangible retention envelope containing material including porcine derivative, which is affixed to a substratum of solid yet frangible material imbued with porcine derivative. An operational

warning notice adorns the front of said substratum, disclosing capability of said device to effectively

deliver a retaliatory consequence in self-defense against a suicide bomber detonating an explosive

charge in close proximity thereto

to break down this flowery technical language .. what this patent is talking about is a packet of pork or a pork derivative that is frangible (will break up into fragments)combined with a big warning sign .. to the potential suicide bomber .. informing him/her of the contents of the packet.

 

something like:

 

" Beware suicide bomber .. we have a frangible pork based defense system .. if you blow yourself up .. you will get bacon bits all over yourself ... having second thoughts ? ... That's what we thought "

 

 

and this will prevent said suicide bomber from detonating himself/herself for fear of getting some of the pork product on his/herself and this "device" is to be placed in areas where there exists a potential for said suicide bombing.

 

this is not satire I assure you ... some bufoon actually believes this will prevent a suicide bombing .. I bet he was watching an old vampire movie and he thought to himself .. garlic repels vampires and pork repels Muslims .. ergo I should come up with a pork based defense system

 

what has me amazed is that .. filing a patent application is a lenghty, complex and expensive process that involves patent attorneys etc.

 

did nobody see how ridiculous this is .. or are lawyers really this evil.