Investment opportunities!

[NGONGE]

Buy land in Somalia and recoup your outlay within six months.

 

NGONGE Lands Ltd, in cooperation with Xarakat Al Shabab Inc, TFG PLC & AMISOM International (NSTA) invites you to take advantage of this golden business opportunity in Somalia.

 

After the success of our Somali Sand In A Jar project, in which we exported Somali sand (in a jar) to millions of homesick Somali Diaspora, we now have the pleasure of informing you of the commencement of our latest venture, profitable cemeteries.

 

A recent UN report has shed light on the levels of death in Somalia. It revealed that, on average, at least eighty-five people meet their maker every single day in the Somali capital alone. The report also gave an estimate of four hundred daily deaths in greater Somalia. As a result NSTA has decided to grab as much lands in Somalia as possible and turn them into cemeteries.

 

With the cost of land dirt cheap at the moment and the overheads for maintaining cemeteries being almost nonexistent, we estimate that a levy of £10 per burial will allow us to break even within six months. The rest will be pure profit.

 

In addition, NSTA has struck a deal with our partners from Xarakat AL Shabab in which they agreed to only dig up graves in lands owned by NSTA and pay a discounted sum for every operation they conduct. They have also agreed to rebury any dug up scholars back into one of our many owned lands. However, with this being a fresh grave, they agreed to pay the full amount on reburials.

 

Another deal was agreed with our partners from AMISOM & TFG that stipulates they will only start battles and skirmishes in areas where NSTA owns lands and ensure that they maximise the output in all their wars.

 

NSTA is already in the process of negotiation with ONLF & Co to buy similar lands in their areas and kickstart a comparable project there. There are also plans to strike similar deals with emerging markets in both SL Ltd & PL Ltd.

 

Here is what some of our investors said:

 

“It’s a good idea that will help the Somali economy”

Sh. S, Villa Somalia.

 

“One must not ignore the health benefits of such an enterprise”

Dr F, Garowe.

 

“Somalia mayyt laga ma waayo”

Engineer F, Hargeisa

 

“Al mooto xaaq”

Abu M, undisclosed location.

[Malika]

After the success of our Somali Sand In A Jar project, in which we exported Somali sand (in a jar) to millions of homesick Somali Diaspora, we now have the pleasure of informing you of the commencement of our latest venture, profitable cemeteries.

,war yaa kuyirii anyone pays for graves in Somalia? [Do they?]

[Juxa]

of course they do, you pay for alwaax and laamiyeeri.

 

Ngonge this is best idea ever. consider me potential investor. 10 qabuure igu qor calashan $100

[Chocolate and Honey]

OMG! Juxa maba naxayside? Qabuur gadid aa, Najaynaa.

LOL@Somali Sand in A Jar!

[Haatu]

Ngonge sxb waaba kasii dareysaa It would be better if you invested in piracy, there at least you would get Faroole's full support

Nonetheless, count me and my company "Ugali4you" in

 

PS: I demand 30%.

[Gheelle.T]

Somali misery in jest!! Well done oday Ngonge. With 85 deaths a day, I bet Mogadisho is very ideal(booming) place to invest.

[rudy-Diiriye]

i am actually selling 2 properties in xamar! nice huge homie with air wholes all of over them...so u wont need air conditions. they breezy 24/7 so nice and kool.

 

each is going for the low price of $30grand us dollars. Interested buyers can contact me. My family is relocating to las caanood!

[Jacaylbaro]

Xabaalaqod.com ,,,,,

 

 

I'm in ,,, as always ,,, lool

[Showqi]

Ma Shillinkii baa Qabriga iidinkaga dhacy

[Jacaylbaro]

waar waa lacag miidhan baa la yidhi ,,,

[Showqi]

Ma inaga hubtaa, anigu ma jecli in aan reer Aakhiraadka lacag u doonto ee

[Jacaylbaro]

Siduu qof waliba isu lahaa reer aakhiraadka lacag ha u doonan bay lacag miidhan noqdeen ,,,,, sirta nolosha fahan baan ku idhi ,,

[Showqi]

[NGONGE]

Originally posted by Gheelle.T:

Somali misery in jest!! Well done oday Ngonge. With 85 deaths a day, I bet Mogadisho is very ideal(booming) place to invest.

We (me and my partners) are thinking of starting a website offering a reward for the arrest, assassination or entrapment of any of the higher echelons of Al Shabab. We shall start the reward fund by donating $100 of our own money and invite the general public to show their total disgust with this terrorist group by contributing whatever they can to this noble effort (news reaches us today that the winds have never been more favorable).

 

Likewise, and in order to keep several revenue streams in operation at any one time, we shall dedicate a small section to the Galgala supporters and another to the irascible Dr Faroole Fan Club ($50 membership for each).

 

In anticipation of a future misunderstanding with SL, we have also designed a site (along the same lines as the above) that invites those opposed to the SL secession to financially contribute to our campaign against secessionism. The site will become operational as soon as an opportunity presents itself (we feel that we missed a trick with the recent SL elections).

 

NGONGE & Co --- Always seeing opportunities.

[MZanzi]

Duqa qayaaliga iska kala yaree