Stepmothers

[Silver]

How come every single story whether it's a fairytale or 'supposedly' true Somali experience, the stepmother is always evil? I've never heard of an evil stepfather, ever. This is one of the reasons I would never marry a guy with kids. The 'uqdad' is already there, built in. Even within my family, my stepbrother feels different from the family and less loved even though my mom treats him better than she does us. She took care of him since he was 3 years old but he he thinks everyone hates him. Repeat that story tenfold; from other family members and friends.

 

I'm sick of it. What's up with that?

 

Has there ever been a good Stepmother?

[The Zack]

That is every ethnic, not just somali.

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

It is universal, yea. In dhaqanka Soomaaliyed, further, eedooyinka and adeeriyaasha have had bad rap sheet as well. Habaryaasha iyo abtiyaasha laga jecelyahay.

[Cabdow]

"Eedaan la yaabee

arxankeedu daranaa

islaamnimada guudnimo

ma ilaalineysee

ishay kugu gubtaayoo

afkey kaala dirirtaa

kuma saarto adhaxdoo

ileen waxay tidhaahdaa

alla qaadkan maxaa

dhigay agteyda

will haduu afar jiroo

hooyadii waayaa

aabe kuma ogaadee

eedo kuma daryeeshee

ulbay kula dhacdaa"

 

Nuune posted similar topic a lil while ago...But, from what i heard "some" of the Aayoo's can be a lil difficult to live with, there is always that tension 'Cuqdad' from either one side (be the stepmother or the kids) Which is not healthy for both parties at the end!!

 

But i'm sure there are some good stepmothers, somewhere in the world of course

[Abwaan]

Eeddaan la yaabee arxankeedu daranaa...lol...I think although it is somehow a stigma and there are many good stepmothers it is also a reality.

 

The main reason is that no one can replace for mums.

[peasant]

quraanjo may be men are not as evil as women and perhaps that could be the reason you wont see an evil step father.

[NGONGE]

Just to cheer you up, here is a stepfather that does not promise to be most forgiving.

 

Twins have different dads

 

A Chinese man is suing for divorce after discovering that he is the father of only one of his twins.

 

Liu Yuan of Nanjing city says he noticed the difference between the babies the day they were born, reports Longhu Network.

 

"The baby that came out first was much bigger than the second, who was very weak and sickly," he said.

 

Liu says he started to be suspicious when the smaller baby turned out to have a different blood type, along with the fact that it doesn't look like him.

 

Liu had his own and the two babies' DNA tested - and discovered that he was the biological father of only the bigger twin.

 

"My wife admitted that she'd had sex with her former boyfriend after we got married," he said.

 

Doctors explain that it's quite rare, but possible, since a man's sperm can survive for 72 hours in a woman's body.

 

 

source

 

Wonders who will notice it first.

[Ashkiro]

@Has there ever been a good Stepmother?

 

Of course there are and you answered your question, your mother is proof of a good step-mother. Just because you never heard of "evil stepfather" in stories or movies doesn't mean they don't exist, they do and are capable of worse than the xaasidnimo associated with stepmothers.

 

As for your stepbrother. Many times when people lash out and are angry at the world it has more to do within than it has to do with others. He has his own demons and maybe needs a little understanding or space. I wish you the best it's not easy having tension in the family.

[Cara.]

It could just be that stepmothers were more common than stepfathers. Women often died in childbirth, leaving their husbands with young children that need mothering. Some hapless woman marries Mr. Widower, but she would never be good enough for her stepchildren compared to their sainted late mother. Much resentment and demonization ensues. Think about it, if your mother scolds you, she's just looking out for you. If your stepmother scolds you she is about to feed you a poisonous apple, abandon you in the woods with only breadcrumbs to guide you home, or force you to slave away in the kitchen while she goes dancing at Prince Charming's little soiree.

 

Not only were stepfathers comparatively rare, but they are also less likely to be involved in day-to-day child rearing. Most stories of stepfathers claim that they are either emotionally distant or sexually predatory.

[Aaliyyah]

I would say you're right do stay away from people who were married previously...not because they are evil or anything like that. But, since they left one marriage, it tells me a lot about that person and that maybe they have commitment issues. I know a lot of times its about calaf, bt I honestly strongly believe that marriage is till death do you apart. Regardless of the obstacle one meets, they must struggle to overcome it especially when kids are in the picture. I know these days marriage is nothing people get married and get divorced within months. It lost its value sadly.

 

btw wlc to sol, i dnt believe i saw your posts before....and hey qalanjo is by far better than quranjo, lets hope it was a typo rather...hehehe

 

 

salaam

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

What is wrong with quraanjo? They are very smart creatures, you know. And qalanjo too is an animal name nooh, so waxba isma dhaamaan.

[Aaliyyah]

I didn't know qalanjo is an animal name? since when....qalanjo qof quruxbadan uu garanaya walaal

[Kool_Kat]

MMA, qalanjo beele...Wax jaan lee wadaa markii lagu arko...

 

I am a wonderful stepmom...But that could be due to the fact that he lives with his mom and only comes to visit us, where we spoil him rotten every time he comes...Oh yea, and that they live out of town, which makes it all more special every opportunity we get to spend with him...

[Aaliyyah]

lol your husband had other kids when you married him? and that didn't bother you to say the least??...kaaga daran you take the extra step by spoiling his kid from his previous marriage??

 

Mashallah.It takes a lot to do that. I'm impressed cool kat.

 

salaam

[Kool_Kat]

^Calaf alaa keenay, he has one child...And no it didn't bother me...How can I be bothered by Ilaahay owlaad uu aduunka keenay?

 

Originally posted by AAliyah416:

I know a lot of times its about calaf, bt I honestly strongly believe that marriage is till death do you apart. Regardless of the obstacle one meets, they

must

struggle to overcome it especially when kids are in the picture.

Soomaali baa horay ugu maahmaahday 'silac kunool sodon guursataa dhaanta'...While the intention of most marriages is 'til death do us part', life doesn't always work that way...Specially when you're in their shoes...Ilaahay a reason buu u keenay furiinka...If kids are involved, all the more reasons to divorce if the marriage isn't working, instead of making each others lives a living hell...Certain situations just aren't worth trying to working them out...And definately certain people just aren't worth holding on to...When parents are unhappy with each other, no matter how much they try caruurta way fahmaan...And believe nothing is worse for a kid to grow up in an unloving, unhappy, uncaring home...Just not worth it...