Modesty Posted January 14, 2007 We are told to be femme fatale, or "disastrous woman". This woman is tough, strong and independent. She is equal to men, she is not a boring repressed housewife. She is a predator, not a victim. However, this view marginalizes the suffering of sexual victims of rape, because the woman is supposed to be equal to men, she is strong, right? Wrong! A man is physically stronger than a woman, and for this reason women are often the targets of rape.A woman isn't supposed to say a man caused her suffering, because that's how pathetic women think. It's like in our culture(assuming you live in the west), being a woman is a kind of handicap. We often hear...'just because you're a woman doesn't mean you can't be a doctor, or lawyer'...is being a woman a handicap, so that we have to be like men? I often held this believe, but since came to see the flaws in this view.Women can't be sensitive also, this is also seen as a handicap...a woman is naturally more sensitive than a man, yet a woman who shows that is seen as nuts and prescribed prozac. A "strong" woman is comfortable with her body, so she wears tighter shirts and tighter skirts to be respected, and see how many men you can attract. But does this lead to happiness? No, it only makes the woman more depressed because you're not being a real woman, you are being a mythical woman that is far beyond our grasp. You can only be happy if you embrace your true being, in this case being a woman...not a MAN. It's time to stop living a deception, a say we are women and we are not men...and it's not a crime. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ebyan Posted January 14, 2007 We're equal but different. We shouldn't try to mimic men. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted January 14, 2007 I don't comepletely understand you. Why does a tough, strong and independent woman have to be disastrous? I have never tried to be a man. Never occurred to me. In fact when I was a girl I would go to sleep saying thank you God for not making me a man- I found boys redundant. LooL. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Modesty Posted January 14, 2007 The idea of a woman being 'independent' often hurts women. How many women are stalked, raped and assaulted every year...I'm sure they have brothers and other male relatives that could've stepped in. But, no often the woman is lead to believe she can handle the situation when she can't obviously.In general, I feel like this culture overall oppresses women and doesn't allow them to be women.So that is disasterous.I'm sure the term femme fatale is endearing, but fake. That's my two cents anyways.You don't have to agree. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted January 14, 2007 What? LoL. Deary me! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted January 14, 2007 No, I don't have to agree. I was merely saying I didn't get your point entirely and I am now even further from getting it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Legend of Zu Posted January 14, 2007 ^^^ Well get closer..Hopefully she doesn't have badher breath! Cheers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted January 15, 2007 Modesty: I think..... never mind Oh what the hell... I think you need to get out more (i don't mean that negatively by the way) but in reality a lot of women go about their life as women, without trying to be men, without any hassle or getting raped, without male relatives. I personally don't live with any male relatives in the country, and alhumdulilah nothing has happened and inshallah it won't. Billion of women live like this all their life independently and not hurt by their independency. Furthermore I don't see the correlation between abuse, rape and male relatives??? The facts are that even if you do have male relatives they are not your babysitters, they have a life and you have to get your own life... this does not mean putting yourself at risk or acting foolish. In any case the majority of women who are raped or assaulted are previously acquainted with the man. Only Allah can protect you, so put your trust in him and life your life. I find it surprising you talk about western societies and this issue of women, because in Somali women are very 'independent' even in Somalia. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cynical lady Posted January 15, 2007 well i never thought feminism meant i have to be like a man or think like a man etc. i thought it is abt choice and be allowed to think for myself rather than to be told what i can or cant do, i have never entertained the notion of if i was a man, frankly i believe a Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition and are ******, lets be realistic here, physically we are not equal mentally we are different why cant we accept the idea that we are different 2each other and that’s a good thing rather than turning everything into the battle of the sexes. Frankly I think this notion of we woman are equal blah blah y should u inspire to be like the man next to u when u can be better, y cant u try to be all u can and achieve the best in ure capabilities I believe feminism is abt choice, choice to do whatever I want if that is being a housewife so let it be if it’s a career woman let it be it does not mean feminism is independency, strong this are all personal choices. Ps no offence but I think u have a decidedly middle class mind, not only have u managed to attach every negative term closely to ‘woman’ but u have mentally also accepted this ****** mentality, no woman is told this dayz she cant do this cant be a lawyer, this are all options which are open for woman, we have laws that protect us yes we have high ceiling problem but does that hinder us or makes us shrug with disappear no we still find a way to crack it, and we also dont spend hrs thinking if only i was a man its woman like u who think being equal is wht woman fought for, and we want to be man or act like one,u make me wana scream in agony. by the by a true feminist will knw one thing its not a man that is the biggest obstacle on a woman’s success but another woman… so am sorry I don’t follow u and I don’t agree with u. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Som@li Posted January 15, 2007 Imitating a man could be dangerous, woman can be strong n tough in their own way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shakti Posted January 15, 2007 oyeeeeeeeeeee confusion is back.. yeahhhhhh i remember our exceptional writer miss modesty written something quite the opposite of this thread .. let me look 4 it.. i really dont know whats going with pppl nowadays Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cynical lady Posted January 15, 2007 Dear miss dev i dont knw wht ure yapping abt lol :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted January 15, 2007 Looks like Modesty has arrived! Get closer, sister, get closer.. Time to bring back my signature... Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I'm not--and in all honesty--don't want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness. If given a choice between stoic justice and compassion, I choose compassion. And if given a choice between worldly leadership and heaven at my feet-I choose heaven. Yasmin Mogahed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shakti Posted January 15, 2007 Morning 2 ya cynical.. well check this thread out : Women should be more like Men : courtesy of mis confusion excuse, I mean modesty written couple month ago...hehehhehehe Ps.. it not a crime 2 be a woman however it’s a manslaughter 2 be a weak n justify it as bing “its in my nature” n embarrassment I say Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheherazade Posted January 15, 2007 Originally posted by Legend of Zu: ^^^ Well get closer..Hopefully she doesn't have badher breath! Cheers U've obviously not gotten close enough to know badhar breath rocks. Now away with you before you swoon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites