INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE

[ponyboy]

 

 

 

Interracial marriage is a marriage between two people with different cultures and background sometimes it turns into a bad relationship and unsolved problems, either they divorce or have very little in common and their relationship won’t work.

There are some aspects that must be followed in order to save interracial marriage. The partners has to respect each other’s experience and has concerned about how can come to a better understanding and to appreciate others, rethink stereotypes and misperceptions and build a relationship that works better. The other thing they have to do is to consider a wide variety of views. In this way the couples can grapple with the many sides of private problems such as different food, celebrating festivals. One of my friends told me that they were going to have a family reunion scheduled this year, but they canceled it because of NCAA (national collegiate athletic association) tournaments begun so they have to postpone that meeting till next year that can cause big problems between interracial families.

Sometimes there are other things that must be taken into concentration and must be overcome

First, there will be opposition and condemnation from some people in society. Children of interracial marriages are sometimes discriminated against and teased. Some of my friends told me that people call them “confused” because they are mixed. Second, people from different cultures have unusual differences to overcome. Often, intercultural marriages, more than interracial marriages (for not all people from different cultures differ in the color of their skin), encounter greater difficulties within the relationship. Cultural practice and prejudice is often more difficult to overcome than skin color. Third, as the old

 

saying goes “when you marry the person, you marry the whole family” so one must be prepared to possibly encounter familial ostracization and condemnation.

But all these difficulties have nothing to do with when it comes to matters of the heart, different colors or cultures should be irrelevant! It's a tragedy that so many people make such a big deal out of inter-racial couples; what's worse, their innocent children suffer the most. People like that should spend less time worrying about other peoples relationships and more time worrying about the status of their own love life. Even I used to believe that interracial marriage is not enjoyable but times are changing, and I think things have improved as far as this issue is concerned, but the best thing is romance whatever the problem is, they always have to manage and work it out

Last thing love is a strange thing -- you never know if the person sitting beside you during a long English lecture or the one crushed against you in the crowded subway is the one you'll spend the rest of your life with I've realized that someone's race doesn't matter when you fall in love with them. What is important is whether you have any thing in common with them.

 

 

 

[Hibo]

i like how you formed your opinion......but i still think most interracial marriages don't work simply because of their different cultural background. it's true that two people should get married based on the love they have for each other but that fades away when they face problems and cannot agree on things cuz of their different background and believes

 

 

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"Don't let life discourage you;everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was"

[imam.abdullah]

i like the way u express your opinion

i wish everyone can make him self clear

let me ask you this you go out with an other races ?

 

[ARAWEELO]

My brother is married to a caucatian woman they have a child together he is the best thing that happened to him, he looks just like him. My mother was absolutely against it at first she did not want to have anything to do with him or his family. She was heartbroken. After I had a long talk with her I finally convinced her to think about the little child who has got nothing to do with all of this drama. They are doing fine we have a good relationship with his wife and I can't wait to see my little nephew sometime soon.

[imam.abdullah]

people has diffrent idea what interracial marriage is me my self belive that interracial marragiage is an evil thing to do

why i said that because i have seen alot of people who marred a white girl then complainig their marrage and saying i wish i marred somalian queen

who speaks my language who want take care my kids

anyway my opinion for interracial marrage is saty out of it

and dont marry any other races except somalian i see u ponyboy u trying to be induced by white/black girls one day u will go back to somalia what u will bring to the table

[Hibo]

Ponyboy: I really do like how u have put forth ur opinion about the matter. But when we think of the success and the extend of time it will last, than we have to take into consideration the society we have in hand.

 

 

Somalis r people who r very uptight about their acceptance of other race as one of their own. And I doubt if centuries from now will change any of that, coz still 80% if not more r rather old fashioned than the new generation who careless for race. Other societies accomodate for such transitions to occur without obstacles. If your mother accepts ur nonsomali wife/husband, than ur sister or brotha have an issue with that. There is always someone in the family who is well equiped with the elements of manipulation n persuasion than the rest. So its rare to see an interracial marriage as a success within the somali people.

 

 

Yes, love is blind, yes we have no hold on fate or destiny, but than we can have control on who we fall in love with. Let me expand my thoughts on this. If u r surrounded by ppl of ur own kind, n u have less contact with the other societies u share class or bus or neighborhood or even work, than u have a greater chance in falling for one of ur own than others. For one to fall in love, it takes time. You can love someone, when u have listened to their inner self speak, than their mere physical appearance. I am not saying, u shound't be friends with other communities, rather don't mingle with them more than necessary. Because the more u get to know them, the more u will connect with them, than the more chance u have of falling for one of them.

That is my trick in helping me stay within my somali race than another.

 

 

I hope I haven't offended anyone in my thoughts...And ofcourse there is always an exception to any rule...

 

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Each one of us is a masterpiece in progress

[cha I]

Hiboo

 

I ve liked the way you presented your ideas about multiracial marriages, however you do not need to stay away from the societies. I am a strong advocate of marriage within the same race, but if there was no alternative and there was love between couples, there is no reason why marriage can not work within a multracial setting. I agree love can be blind at times, but it is not only confined in multiracial relationships, even in my own race. Remember only two loving partners can make an institution of marriage work.

 

Wa salaam

 

Cha I

[Business_Man]

People marrying a non-somali (example, fufu from Nigeria) when they can just fly anywhere in the world and choose the most beautiful Somali prince/princess just makes me wonder if I am dreaming. I had to bite my hand twice to know that I am awake!.

 

I know hollywood is in the minds of some guys and ladies. To much love films can make you lose sight of your culture and deen. They see a black woman fall in love with a non-black man or vice versa and they take this approach when in comes to finding a suitable partner. Damn, I wish I was in one of those films!.

 

Some women that I have come across simply dont want to marry a somali coz they prefer to marry someone who is unique and light in complexion but with a heavy pocket.

 

Not generalizing but some people who grew up in Europe and USA without their parents tend to follow the path of interracial marriages. Come on people, why marry a non-somali when you can have someone from your own country who can speak your tongue, teach you the quran and help you to look after the kids.

 

I know the single mother situation in USA, Canada and europe have scared some single somali women into thinking that Somali men are bad and worthless! :rolleyes: .

 

Mind you Some Somali men have also taken this idea into their heart due to the fact that they see Jennifer Lopez on their bedroom poster everyday and in their dreams, myself for instance! .

 

Some Somali women dont want the agro that comes with a Somali man and some somali men dont want the package of marrying Somali women due to the biddings that go on night after night and the $15000 dollar marriage bill from Hilton Hotel Accountants! :eek: . Good day to you and may god have mercy on us.

 

Peace.

[Captivating_SouL]

All in all, i see no problem in marrying someone out of your race...wheather me,myself n i will go about that route..highly doubt it but for anyone who wishs or choose to eh best of luck witchu,. Just keepin a postive lite ya dig..cuz am not to discriminate. AS LONG AS YOUR SIGNIFICANT PARTNER IS MUSLIM....then whatever else is secondary.

 

People, relgion should be the number numerior in this equation..as long as the person is muslim then worries aside why be naive/ignorant about it. You know it aint wrong for you but just cuz society let me repeat SOMALI society thinks else wise bout it..you gonna change who you are..be real with yourself and besides i'd let it be a muslim brother then non-muslim...Union under the name of allah s.w.t. PERIOD.

oh and as far as language and culture is involved..i suggest you educate ONE ANOTHER (if you want it 2 work)as such you should be open minded in learning theirs. Every relationship has its leaks n damages so if you dont take a foot towards the door n reach for the hammer..the door itself wont be fixeed...(let tha click in yah heads)Some marriages work, and many don't....its a luck and has nothing to do with what race you marry, what culture you develope, adapted...you followin my flow? well that's my intake on it ...wun

[Reality Check]

people who marry outside their race don't have a problem with it. It is the rest of the world who has a problem and therefore interefere with these people so they can't have normal lives.

 

I am almost sure I will marry someone who ain't somali...why? simply because I believe Allah didn't create different people so they can be with themselves only! I have already experienced many cultures..and one more won't kill

 

I don't believe this crap about marrying the guy means marrying the whole family...its more like adoption and if they don't like it..and won't accept it...then they know where the door is at!

 

1

[Rising Phoenix]

^^^^ I agree

 

You took the words out of my mouth, oppinionated.

 

I believe in interracial marriages. There are a lot of people here who are fond of harping on about TRUE LOVE, and if that's so, then why can't it work with someone who's not Somali? Sometimes, you find kinship in the most unlikely situations AND people. I find it to be narrow-minded to not accept someone just because they are not of your race.

 

Originally by Hibo:

 

Let me expand my thoughts on this. If u r surrounded by ppl of ur own kind, n u have less contact with the other societies u share class or bus or neighborhood or even work, than u have a greater chance in falling for one of ur own than others.

Sis, I like the way you've formulated your thoughts, but won't this give one a very narrow view of the world? I assume you are not still in Somali and currently reside in another country. Now, hasn't this made you a different person with different views? If one race sticks to itself, then its people won't learn anything.

Also, this might resound in inbreeding.

 

Your family is your family. They are supposed to love and respect you, no matter your choices. And if they don't like it...

 

Opnnionated:

then they know where the door is at!

STEP OUT!

[MaLikah]

Personally, I've never really grown up around dadka somalida and know I can't categorize all men, but the ones I've grown up around have not set a high opinion of somali men in my eyes. So naturally, I decided to see if the grass was greener on the other side. And what do you know, its jus the same. If some-one were to ask me, if an ajnabi brotha came upto you, with all the criteria and qualifications, would you be interested in pursuing a relationship that might end up in marriage, I'd say, WHY NOT? Are we expected to stick around and wait for the somali brothas to get their act togetha, while the numbers of potential husbands dwindled? I think not. As long as they are Muslim, that should be the main concern, not what tribe he belongs to, who his family is and definitely not on race. But like I said, that all depends on how cultural you and open-minded you are.

[miles-militis]

May I? I seem to have found myself in the ladies corner.

 

I see no trouble with racial intermarriages even though as one gets older, one finds oneself reverting back to one’s roots. When one is an impressionable young and adventurous growing up in a multicultural society, it is very likely one would interact and befriend people of others races in order to fit the mainstream culture. Girls like boys make friends with other girls, and their friends’ friends or relatives also become a part of the friendship, which therefore widens the scope, thereby increasing the possibilities of being wooed or fall for one of other race(s). For instance, my first experience with Scott’s ladies was with Ms Bernard’s daughter, Sharon who was not only the sister of my best friend (Jeff – with his approval of course), but also a classmate. Here is the dilemma though - what do you reckon would have been the case had I had a sister and Jeff saw her in his radar? No doubt I would have had my objections, but then you see the predicament? Indeed, it did so happen that he fell for a gorgeous Somali lady, who, to my relief could not see herself with a goora (white man in Urdu - her words). I suppose we are more protective of our ladies than we are given credit for though trend of late seems to have taken a different course. The same I suppose could apply to others.

 

However, I have a question for the ladies? Why is it that, [forgive me as I am going to generalise it here], when the Somali ladies cross the floor, as it were, attract or settle for men of other races who are [the operative word] below their standard? Let me explain? I have seen sisters with Arab, Asian (Indians&Pakistans), black, or white men, and one thing I have observed is that sisters DO tend to lower their standards, thus values when it comes to fellows of other races. Why the change of the criteria? Could I be mistaken, or is there a trend here?

 

Whatever one’s views might o might not be intermarriage relationships are a fact of life for many Somalis, thus part of our culture. And whilst perhaps the proportions at which the change is taking place could be rather alarming to some, it has always been part of our culture. The only difference being ladies are now joining what had traditionally been a men’s only exclusive club. Rather awkward and troubling for us as we do not quite know to handle it, but an inherently cultural transforming and/or social change of sort.

 

Additionally if a Somali man/women finds the pleasures of life in someone other than Somali, I reckon one ought to first be acquainted with the Somali (muslim) culture, as that would enrich the relationship adding not only cultural and societal value, but also a personal one.

 

Cheers.

[Paragon]

Whatever else I use to think of it, now I see there is no problem with inter-racial marriage. Who knows I might as well end up in one sooner than I imagined.