Buubto Posted November 25, 2004 Asalaamu Aleikum Wr Wb Qof waliba dooq ayuu leyahay waa nagu qalad in aan dooqoda farogalino. Wax adiga kuula saxsan ayaa iyaga la xun, wax iyaga la saxsan ayaa adiga kuula xun. Life is a learning cycle in any satiation there is positive and negative & human beings have different opinions & desires in this life. Nowadays it become fashion both males & females to look a potential partner aboard whether is other western countries or Africa. All of them have different reasons satisfying their needs & desires in this world. Honestly I see nothing wrong with it let people hunt for their calaf, qof waliba wuxuu ilahay u qoray ayuu heli. Each one of us has different life style & upbringings so it is impossible a whole nation to be the same. You talked about education I have seen men in middle east looking for educated sisters in the west you see not everyone has the same dooq. So it is wrong for us to jump and fire the gun at wrong direction. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lol Posted November 25, 2004 Garab: Xabiibi I missed u too. Now coming back to the topic....I agree with you not all my nomadmen are suffering from the unfortunate low self-esteem we seem to witness around us. Mobb: I have been shifting from one place to another bro that is why I was away... wish it was the mushakal. Don't u c my location has changed... and believe me its not for the better... but then I had to live in a place worst than somalia to see somalia as a heaven not that its not one Now for the topic in hand, I agree with u not all men see educated sisters as a threat rather a bliss and one of them is my dad, but the generation of today's men are rather disappointment, if we are speaking on a serious note. Any woman who challenges them to do better, is a- must- escape-from- threat. And that is indeed sad. That is why I feel, most somali men are just cowards or are loosing their manliness, and switching of roles is taking place. Think about it why else would a educated brotha who can find a sister that can make him a better person, b/c she has the light needed to lit certain tunnels, go for one who is in the dark herself? Progress is upwards and not downwards, if u r following my drift. Gediid: Aboowihiis, don't just attack but think about wat I and I believe many sisters preceeding me said, I know its the masculinity hormones raging and u r on the defense mode, relax abit and think outside ur lil box. Let me ask you this, why would a brotha who lives in the west, knowing the fact that he went through some kind of cultural clash when he got there, is willing to marry someone who has no idea what his living environment is like? Now common don't you think, it is rather unlogical to think that western educated somali sisters have lost their cultural upbrings? We may carry a degree that says, " University of Blah blah at NY, London, Paris, Amesterdam etc" but our mothers are somali, our fathers are somali, and wat they thought us was not erased with the university pen. So we are just saying don't feel threaten when a sister tests you. She only wants to see if you are worth her or not, and i believe that is wat men do as well. My brotha is 29 yrs old and everday he is backing out of a relationship because that certain girl didn't meet his requirements. So allow us atleast to be picky without making us look like we have lost our identity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted November 25, 2004 Serious, Asalam aleykum, Where is this CAVEMAN..who started the thread...is he gone for a funeral service..We pray he tells us why Our brodas...are going abroad to search for female partners...yet there are still some on the run in the WEST.. I think someone did say the 'TREND' is still on and catching momentum...what can we do to help the INFLUX of our brodas to KENYA, SOMALIA...to find their CALAF... am ain't a RUDY...check the label... Ibraheeem's Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dawoco Posted November 25, 2004 Allah yo no naxariiso! Amen. Amiin allahayoow! Rudy bless u, nothin else to say Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alle-ubaahne Posted November 26, 2004 I support the idea of going back to home and getting marraige in there, because if one looks at the spread of an infectious culture within some segments of our people, for instance, Partying with big band of singers and musicians flocking to the wedding, showcasing an extravagant western form of wedding that is always pushed by the girls, and many more destructive deviations, you find all of these are unworthy and of course are the very reason that inspires considerable number of boys, including me insha allah, to consider marriage at home. I don't understand realy why girls always like to overspend for their marriage ceremonies, just to show off and become the news of the week, while their family members are suffering in Somalia. For example, if a guy suggests an idea for his wife-to-be, saying "ok let's send this fifteen or twenty thousand whatever the marriage budget may cost, to our families at home, or else invest for a little business", the chances are 95% of the girls would decline that idea and choose the one night occassion over that. I will never allow such things to happen in my marriage even if that is the single condition standing before my marriage. And I would rather end up torn aparted from my lover instead of allowing such an indecent activities take place. Our girls are so sweet when they are in back home, because of their vital role and standardships, but once they settle foot here,(am not generalizing, at least my concern is the majority of somali females) these boorish countries had changed their mindset, which is too bad. The few good girls are so hard to find, I guess. ehehehe can anyone proof otherwise, war yaan la iga xanaaqin gabdhoow, waa fikradeyda daciifka ahee, lol. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sakina Posted November 26, 2004 Have you seen the weddings back home? They overspend more than in the western countries. Men go looking for spouses abroad because girls here now know their rights under the shariah and they expect to be treated according to the islamic law. Since men studying here don't want to take the responsibility of taking care of their families they are getting more rejections that is why some of them don't even try to propose because they know they cannot take care of knowledgeable women like the one that existed in the times of the sahaba (most of the girls here don't just read the Quran but they also learn the meaning). If men start treating women fairly and with respect we would have a better community as somalis. Most of the men abandon their wives and children and go and marry women in Syria, Somalia etc. And these same men advice the youngsters that they should look for pious wives abroad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alle-ubaahne Posted November 26, 2004 Sakina Are you joking abaayo? I don't think you can ground those claims with valid evidances that somali men are irresponsible here in the west. I think men in these countries were highly brutalized and had given no room to negotiate, let alone speak about their rights. Guess what abaayadiis, how many guys are taken behind the bars everyday, you never know since they are exceedingly climbing over an unprecedented figure. I know there are certain irresponsible bad apples among somali men, but think about the bulk of them who are working hard in labor works, trying to sustain both their families here and back home. Come on Walaashiis, you girls should have some mercy on these neglected guys who are not physically jailed but victimized mentaly at many times. Am very fortunate because am watchful about the tricks of these thugish girls ( ehehehe, sorry hadaan ku qaldamay isticmaalka eraygaas) and thus will never marry in these territories where our girls are lion enough to embark their campaign to deactivate our "Xaniinyo". In fact, am very respectful man, but there is one thing that I can't jeoperdize, which is my manly freedom to set the panel control of my family, including my dear wife, (after counseltation), and if that becomes impossible, then there is no family. Yes, sakina, does that sound bad, abaayadiis? Its exactly what our awoowooyin and ayeeyooyin had done for the good of their families. "Talo naageed wax ka fiican ma jirto, laakiin amar naageed wax ka xun malaha". Maahmaahdaan anigaa sameeyay marka sidaas baan jeclahay inuu xaalku yahay ee nabada halagu dadaalo iyo sidaan dad wanaagsan iskaga dhigi laheyn. eheheh. Nabadeey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted November 26, 2004 After reading all this 8 pages.. i only come up with one thing... our divorce rate would be a lot higher than any other generations.. ilaahoow make it easy for us.. this is sad. waala is fahmi la'yahay... u say insecure, we say u got weternized.. saas lee lagu jiraa ilaayo yawmul qiyaama.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted November 26, 2004 Asalam aleykum, Walahi let me add on. You see apart from the high divorce rate within the Somali community was brought by negligence and no respect for one another. If your wife loves you, even if she is in the Western world, she will never betray you.We marry so that we can have generation and affection.If that isn't gonna be, then it is a total disgrace.We say 'NAUDHU BILLAH'. So to our able Bachelors and spinsters..fear no consequences.We have a lot of Ladies in the West..more educated..than their men and who treat their men nicely. Love is love and remains four letters. There is nobody who losses 100% in marriage.Everyone is a winner. Ladies are a bit weaker in love.Don't complicate them..be KIND to them..That is what The Prophet used to say.They make a lot of errors and forgive them. Give more LOVE,RESPECT and freedom before making any DIVORCE dissolution. Ibraheem's Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted November 26, 2004 ^^^Will you marry me? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Diamante Posted November 26, 2004 ^^ ...haye... u beat me to punch yaah anyway i agree with Qac Qaac...ehm for the first time i think...all this nag nag being exchanged back and forth is useless. What happens happens, who's going to be the man to stop it? A few post on a somali website are gonna solve this how? Be realistic, so you spoke your mind, well good, u should feel better, but don't turn this into some battle. Istacajib Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted November 26, 2004 Hi, There is this man who said ati WESTERN Ladies prefer or can spend $15000$a night for their AROOOOS...while some of their family members back @home are dying of Hunger... What do they call...u said...westernized?What about if she doesn't LOVE U? I was told to get a lady From MANDERA KENYA..costs some few Dallas..is this why most eligible men run for those part of the world...ECONOMIC? Ibraheem's Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alle-ubaahne Posted November 26, 2004 ^^^^^ First of all, say pro-western ladies, not anti-western, ok. Pro-western girls always like to overspend and do something showy for the good of showcasing their pride. Secondly, Somali men flock to those places, like MANDERA, not only to save some money but to get the best of principled girls with good and high moral grounds. simple right? lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NoVa Posted November 26, 2004 ^^Yep'Right On if u say so..... Whatever Flowz ya Way.....Marry whoever' u want..Wether she' lives in China, Berbera, Iskushuban, Xamar'cadeey, Ivory Coast, Tanzania, or Syria....Likewise 2 the sista'z There shouldn't be a limit'z 2 it...lol if a Farax livez in the otha'side of the world... :eek: N he'z as Hot azz Gadiid as every1 up in here agreed ...Even FF' wouldn't stay a second in bc...looooool.. by the way, i think the following nomadz said it all. Dawoco, Garab T, and Thiery for their true honesty of life in western'sista's vs eastern sista(don't assume sista'z up in the west r 2 westernized as least they understand the pain' u go throught). Legend with his great way of puttin'the trend into a Question...Nice, i like how u analyzed'there...a brotha who can think'without sweatin' lolol...N' Buubto for remindin' ya it's all 'calaf' guyz...Therefore, maybe some of u should take note's from their inputz....it's worth'a'while rereadin' it...Till' then enjoy ya'friday night'z... No attack plz.. i'm just a poor sista Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted November 26, 2004 Honestly? I dont know why many of the sisters here are getting all hot and bothered about this subject. I always wanted to marry one of the many chinese and indian men in my area. I find them to be so respectful, well educated, modern, and they really care about their health and hygience. THis will of course offer me a wonderful excuse to act on my plans. NOva: Hehehehe. You know me so well sugar Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
