Why most eligible bachelors pursuing marriage abroad?

[Thierry.]

Not being for women in the west, I feel that someone that you are compatible would be the most suitable partner, the fact that the young ladies from the east will know their place in marriage (being an obedient wife) is not always true, in fact I kind of sense that these sisters in secular system are more aware of the Islamic and traditional values of having a well balanced marriage, this is because they live in a system which is flawed (divorce rate is as common as the marriage itself), and they know that imitating such a system will lead to disastrous consequences. While her counterpart in a bush somewhere in Tanzania watches “Sex and the City†in her rich neighbors house and says ‘wow that’s how a women should be’.

Therefore my nomads like Dawoco said lets don’t be selfish and leave the sister in her native land. Some place I hope we will be going.

 

Education is not only what you learn in school, life experiences is the most fundamental education out there and the ladies in the west have it.

 

However contrary to what I just said there are sisters who live right here in London who feel that popular culture is true and that men and women are the same in all categories, if you are these sisters then I am afraid that you are even more ignorant then sister back home because at least she has the excuse to say “I don’t know how it feels to live in a western country “

[- Femme -]

^^^Mashallah. Well said.

[dawoco]

Feme fatele, damn u got in before me!

 

Thiery i wish all our men were logical like you, they just don't see the bigger picture.

 

Caveman, my borther, it is easy to take out all the negative things and maginfy them, but it takes real courage to actually take on board the points raised and discuss them, whether you agree or disagree with it. That way we can benefit from one another, hadaan kula qaldanahay tell me and give me reasons, but don't opt for name&shame policy like the news of the world.

 

*hi garab tuujiye, glad to see u have taken back ur identity

[Thinkerman]

Bravo Bravo@Theirry.

 

A Clean Name that isnt tarnished with a reputation brings the voice of reason.

 

Each to there own indeed

[nuune]

This Topic became very sexy

[Samafal]

As I predicted the topic has become a hot debate. But I think you all being too serious about this issue becouse on the groung the reality is different, not manay guys are flocking to the East and every other day there are Aroos in every London's Somali neighbourhoods. Somali men tying the knot with their fellow western bred sisters. Many people feel that girls in here are more understanding in life general compared to the ones back home. But the issue of high rate of divorce is worrisome to some but instead of addressing the issue I dont know if getting wife/husband from back home is the solution. we need to examine why so many new families are breaking up so soon after only being together for few months or so. That is not only heartbreaking for the two couples but specially when young children are involved.

 

May be we need to debate about the issue facing us in here before we decide to export our pridacament to home. May be that is more relevent to us than the current debating of matters that do not help us in any way.

[Bess.]

people.....here is what i have to say to the men in here......

an excerpt from a fav. song of mine......

All I want you to do for me

Is give me some respect when you get home

Yeah, baby, when you get home

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Find out what it means to me

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Take care, T-C-B

A little respect

peace

[Tuujiye]

Caveman my friend trust since you are a new guy or someone who got kicked out the made a return, you need to get to know me...Most of the girls in SOL don't like me because I rearly say something positive about them. But I have never said anything wrong to them eather. So please don't think I'm taking their side because I want some attention. All i'm against is men going back home or asia for a wife. waan ogahay in aan gabadhaha la ceyn in this topic laakiin fikaradaha aa dhiibateen saaxiib hadaan ka soo hor jeestay ma wax qalad baa marka aad ka dhigeysid in aan attention raadinayo. And plus yes sxb I do believe a man who goes over sea for a wife is weak and has low selfsteem.

 

ps. theirry well said sxb...

 

Wareer badanaa!!!

[Pacifist]

Salaam brothers and sisters

At first when i first read the comments on this topic gosh my blood was boiling i couldn't wait to press the page 5 and skip all the other comments so i can give my two cents in this topic but since i didn't do that and i read all the comments. I have calmed down and thus i can give my opinion without being biased..

 

If my brothers want to go and marry back home or wherever it is so be it or do whatever rocks their boats. First the is Alaf and what Allah almighty has in store for us. Laakin it is a grave sin to say that women (generalizing all women)in the west have become westernized. Yes their are those that good and bad just like our brothers in the west ( good and the bad. I think what we are forgetting is the reason for high divorce rates in the west especially if we are somalis is because the deen is not being followed accordingly. If both of the partners in the same household are following the deen and afraid of Allah Almighty Most Merciful walahi i think that household would be a powerful, because the shaytan is not present in that house.

 

Our lord, grant us wives and offspring who will be the apples of our eyes and guide us to be models for the righteous"

 

In its 'ibadah aspect, marriage is an act pleasing to Allah because it is in accordance with his commandments that husband and wife love each other and help each other to make efforts to continue the human race and rear and nurse their children to become true servants of Allah.

 

Simply if you follow the deen than Allah will reward you

 

we understand Islam as more than one specific religious dispensation, instead the entire body of Allah's (swt) revelation to the cosmos, then we can say that there are those who are generically muslim who may not neccessarily follow the specific shari'a as we know it from Prophet Muhammad (saw). The Qur'an says that *any* (not just "Muslims") who believe in Allah (swt), believe in the concept of being held accountable for one's actions, and do good works "shall have their reward with their Lord; on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve" (Surah al-Baqarah 2:62; Surah al-Ma'idah 5:72).

 

Tranquility on the other hand is a state of being which is achieved when peace has been established. Tranquility is compromised when there is tension, stress and anger. It is a mistake to take tranquility to mean perpetual state of bliss. Since being Muslims does not make us immune to tragedies and catastrophes.

 

In fact Allah tells us in the Quran that we will be tried (2:155,57). What a state of tranquility does is to empower us to handle life's difficult moments with our spouses as obedient servants of Allah. Allah in His infinite Mercy also provides us with the tools by which we can achieve this state of peace and tranquility.

 

The second principle besides Shura on which the Islamic family life is based is Mercy (Rehma), and in this verse Allah is telling us that He has placed mercy between spouses. We are therefore inclined by our very nature to have mercy for our spouses. Mercy is manifested through compassion, forgiveness, caring and humility.

 

It is obvious that these are all ingredients that make for a successful partnership. Marriage in Islam is above all a partnership based on equality of partners and specification of roles. Lack of mercy in a marriage or a family renders it in Islamic terms dysfunctional.

 

It is not good to point fingers and generalize. Brothers and sisters. I live in the US

 

If a sister is educating herself and is doing really well isn't it the benefit of the husband and its community, family, children and our religion. Brothers you should be happy that your sisters are expanding their minds that means it is better for all of us. We will not be Jaahil (oky am not saying that the sisters back home are jaahil) for those who like to twist words.

 

I think i have said enough

[raula]

Originally posted by Caveman:

Raula…sista…I am surprised you read the piece I wrote above and you came out with the though of me being part of Ideologs of men who feed the world with more of "INTERNALIZED RACISM".

 

I never said woman should sit at home and be that stereotypically weak and submissive. Or even the Topic here is not about woman’s place in marriage and what she is expected of her. And guess what its not only common to our community, I know an Iranian and Nigerian guys who I worked in Atlanta, both went back to their respective countries to get married. I didn’t even shared my thoughts on this, I merely acknowledge the trend and asked why?.

 

 

YACQUUB sxb thanks for the WARNING!

Raula wrote: “What the hell do you think...we choose our destinyâ€. I hope she is not affiliated with that ‘Freedom for Somali Woman’s Party’ if she is, Hope that she is the CEO, cuz if their leaders are yet to came I am dead man.

I understand your thinking walaalo..but I never said that you said that..Infact, I refered to "THOSE MEN"(mind you, you can see that Iam not generalizing all men, hence have acknowledged that indeed such mismatches exists)-but I will repeat I said-I despise those who just do degrade all ladies from western countries as "UNQUALIFIED"...indeed there exists "PREFERENCES"(as in if the man wants uneducated,AUTHENTIC :rolleyes: Somali woman from back home) however, not all women in the west are acculturated totally to the misleadig cultural aspects of western society-that is FORBIDDEN in our religion as well as our culture.

 

comprente'

 

And I dont belong in the Battalion you aforementioned-spare me the medallions Iam sure some will find it useful

[raula]

HASNA-well said walaalo..right on the note. I concur with you absolutely.

[N.O.R.F]

Warya Theiry, well said, like bolt out of the blue,,,,,

 

Why are there dudes who jump on any and every opportunity to diss the sisters? Insecurity i say :rolleyes:

[MR ORGILAQE]

Hey guys stop complaining,haven't you heard of the Law in Islam that permits you to have more than one wife!!!!

 

 

Go on if she doesnt want to be a wife no need for you to kill yourself, get yourself another while still giving the first one all the security she had in the first place.If the two can't let you be what you want get a third, that should solve the problem!!!.Stop being such BIG BLouse SISSIES!

[OG_Girl]

When first failled to be a husband for one wife , how he can marry second and third :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

 

Like telling some one if you couldn't pass high school go to university is easier !!!

 

First correct your self , self check up needed before you take another step.

 

Do Somali make mistakes like other humanbeen ( wondering) :confused:

 

Salam

[sheherazade]

Orda, orda, go find an old-school girl(and I mean a young school girl); she's out there somewhere waiting for you to save her from her miserable wait. Head East. You can't go wrong. Just don't come back. See if you can deal with her in her territory and then you'll have a little dignity.

 

Did I say don't come back? No? Forgetful as ever: Don't come back.

 

don't come back, mind