Maryan Mustafa on SBN

[NGONGE]

In the Muslim world, Ramadan brings with it a lot of time for prayer and contemplation. The days of this holy month are unique and the nights memorable. It is a time when families visit each other, have dinner feasts and pray in large groups. A time when the poor are remembered, the orphans are looked after and the needy are given a helping hand.

 

It is also a time for entertainment and fun. TV stations from Mecca to Merca have plenty of dramas, comedies and game shows dedicated only to this holy month. Here, the Somalis are not much different to their brethren in other Muslim countries. This is the time when the famous Somali TV Show Inna Way Kan is in its element.

 

The show is written, directed and produced by the famous Somali presenter Mustafa Microphone. Mustafa is a stout man with a three story belly and two cheeks that resemble the iconic Hargeisa mountains of Naaso Hablood! He’s intelligent, witty and very engaging.

 

After breaking his fast tonight, he left his house in London city and headed to the headquarters of the international Somali TV Station SBN (Somali Broadcasting Network). Tonight, he was hosting another segment of his popular show Inna Way Kan! It is a dedication show where viewers phone in and request their favourite songs, poems, comedy clips or historical political Somali speeches to be played on air. As ever, his co host tonight was going to be none other than the popular female presenter Maryan Makeup.

 

After having their instructions and exchanging a few pleasantries with each other and the crew, the couple were ready to kick start the show. Their first caller was a Mr Abdullahi who was calling from Yemen.

 

Mustafa: Hello and welcome to the show that captivated the hearts of all Somalis. Welcome to two hours of continues entertainment and endless banter. We promise you a show full of fun, jokes and great music. I, Mustafa Cabdi Ducale - you all know me as Mustafa Microphone - promise to ensure this will be one of your most memorable nights. And, now, let me introduce you to my co host; the favourite of the younger men, the softener of old men’s hearts, the reason why the number of our hard of hearing viewers increased ten fold in the past year. Let me bring in our resident beauty and my esteemed colleague, Maryan Moose.

 

Maryan: Thank you Mustafa and welcome to all our viewers. I think we have a caller waiting on the line already.

 

Mustafa: Oh yes. We have a Mr Abdullahi calling from Yemen. Hello!

 

Abdullahi: HELLO! HELLO! Adeer I want to speak to Maryan!

 

Maryan: Marxaba adeer. Can you give us your full name please?

 

Abdullahi: My name is Abdullahi, I am calling from Yemen.

 

Mustafa: Welcome adeer Abdullahi but can you give us your full name please.

 

Abdullahi: My full name? Err..Abdullahi..err. .err..Younis.

 

Mustafa: Abdullahi Younis from Yemen! Gartay adeer. Welcome to our show and we hope we can grant your request.

 

Abdullahi: Where is Maryan? War I want to speak to Maryan!

 

Maryan: Way Kan, adeer. What is your request?

 

Abdullahi: Can you please play a Maxamed Yusuf & Magool duet?

 

Maryan: Do you have any song in mind, adeer?

 

Abdullahi: Haa! Haa! The one that says "Amba dhamay qadhaadhkee, waa inaad dhadhamisaa

Sow caawa dhaantiyo, filanmaysid dheel dheel"

 

Mustafa: I am afraid we don’t have that song, adeer.

 

Abdullahi: Is he telling the truth, Maryanay?

 

Maryan:Haa, adeer.

 

Abdullahi: In that case, can you play Tupac’s Only God Can Judge Me?

 

Maryan: Absolutely adeer. Tupac Shakuur coming right up. Who do you want to dedicate it to?

 

Abdullahi: I dedicate this song to my family in Somalia, all my friends in the Somali capital, my friend Mansuur Zidani in Ethiopia, all your listeners and all the Somali people across the world.

 

Mustafa: Thank you, adeer. I think we have another call. Hello!

 

Caller: Hello, is this SBN?

 

Maryan: Haa walaal, how can we help you?

 

Caller: My name is Cabdi. I am a security guard in London. I am at work now.

 

Mustafa: Marxaba Cabdi. Can you tell us your full name please?

 

Caller: No. I can’t. I am at work. I’ll get in trouble if I do.

 

Maryan: It is ok. What is your request, Cabdi?

 

Caller: I wanted to know what time is the Imsaak tonight?

 

Mustafa: We will pass you back to our operators and they will give you all the information you need. Thank you, Cabdi.

 

Maryan (giggling): We have another call. Hello!

 

Caller: Hello. Is this SBN TV? Can I speak to Mustafa?

 

Mustafa: Hi! What is your name and where are you calling from?

 

Caller: Err…hello..err..my name is Sharif and I am calling from Mogadishu.

 

Maryan: Welcome Sharif. Can we have your full name please?

 

Caller: Err…Sharif Ahmed.

 

Mustafa: Sheikh Sharif?

 

Caller: Err..no..no..not him. I am normal Sharif.

 

Maryan: Ok, Sharif. What is your request walaal?

 

Sharif: Do you have any Cusmaan Gacanlow songs?

 

Mustafa: We may have one or two. Which particular song would you like to hear?

 

Sharif: The one that goes "mar hadaan muftaaxi midigtayda ku hayo,

Waa inuu ma gaalada magacaygu gaadhaa

meeshii aan doonabaa, waa inaan mushaaxaa

waa inaan mushaaxaa!!"

 

Mustafa (trying to suppress his laughter): Maya saaxib, we don’t have that particular song. Do you have any other requests?

 

Sharif: Do you have any Edwin Star songs?

 

Maryan: We have all his songs.

 

Sharif: Hadaba play War.

 

Maryan: Who do you dedicate it to?

 

Sharif: EVERYBODY.

 

Mustafa: Thank you, Sharif. We shall play your song as soon as we return from this commercial break.

 

A collection of Money Transfer and restaurant adverts follows.

 

Mustafa: Welcome back everyone and, just like the advert, with our show too: Sertu Wa Dhadhanka!

 

Maryan (giggling): Waa sax! I think we have another caller. Hello!

 

Caller: HELLO! Maryan iyo Mustafa, M&M, ii warama?

 

Maryan: We are ok, adeer. What is your full name and where are you calling from?

 

Caller: There are two of us. I am Ahmed Mohammed and my friend here is Faysal Cali! We are calling from Hargeisa.

 

Mustafa: Good evening to both of you.

 

Maryan: Haa. Good evening. How is Hargeisa tonight?

 

Caller: There is an unfriendly storm brewing but otherwise the city and the country are both good.

 

Mustafa: Haye adeer. What requests do you have tonight?

 

Caller: Do you have the song that goes "Anu dablaan ayaanayaa, dalkayga waan difaacyaa, cadawga waan u diidayaa, waliba waan sii dadaalayaa..."?

 

Maryan: Ya salaam! Omer Xassen Rooraye’s song? I am afraid we don’t have it, adeer.

 

Caller: Ok. Faysal is asking if you have the one that goes "Ileen dhuumashada qaar, uu dhabarku muuqdaa..." ?

 

Mustafa: Eesh cala! I am afraid we don’t have that one either. Can you think of any other songs?

 

Caller: Ok. Just play Nas’s If I ruled the world. Faysal wants MJ’s Wanna Be Starting Something...

 

Maryan: Ok adeer. We have both these songs.

 

Mustafa: I think we can squeeze one last caller in.

 

Maryan: Yes. I think we can.

 

Mustafa: Lets hope it is a young man. There has not been many calling us tonight.

 

Maryan: That’s because our show appeals to all ages and tastes.

 

Mustafa: Indeed. Hello!

 

Caller: Hello.

 

Maryan (giggling): A young man!

Caller: I don’t want to talk to the woman.

 

Mustafa: Ok caller. What is your full name and where are you calling from?

 

Caller: Abu Quxafa.

 

Maryan: Your full name please walaal.

 

Caller: I said I don’t want to talk to the woman!

 

Mustafa: Don’t worry about it, saaxib. What was your full name again?

 

Caller: Err..my name is Abu Quxafa Al Kismaawi, I am calling from Somalia.

 

Mustafa: Where in Somalia.

 

Caller: It does not matter. Every place in Somalia is the same. Can I make a request please?

 

Mustafa: Of course you can. What would you like?

 

Caller: You see, I may be going away and not coming back anytime soon. I would like you to play a song that I can dedicate to everyone I know.

 

Mustafa: Go ahead. What is your request?

 

Caller: I don’t like nor approve of music but this is the one and only time I’ll request a song. Can you play the one that goes Ambabaxaye socodkaa inaan eebe igu qadin?

 

Maryan: For someone who does not like the art you seem to know your music. Axmed Cali Cigaal, right?

 

Caller: I repeatedly told you I do not want to talk to the woman.

 

Mustafa (laughing): Yes you did. And, yes Maryan the song is by Axmed Cali Cigaal.

 

Maryan (pulling a face): Tell him we’re sorry that we don’t have his request.

 

Caller: Err..ok..can you play Tupac’s Hit Em Up?

 

Mustafa: Grab your glocks when you see 2pac

Call the cops when you see 2pac! Haha! And that, ladies and gentelmen was the final song for tonight.

 

Maryan (giggling again): It was a great night of music and dedications.

 

Mustafa: Indeed it was. As are all our nights. Until we meet you all again, I would like to thank all our callers on behalf of myself, Maryan and all the crew. Ramadan Kareem and good night.

 

Maryan: Good night.

[Mr. Somalia]

*YAWN*

[NGONGE]

^^ I would have asked for no better endorsement.

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

or for a lack of better words... its stuff and nonesense as it were.

 

** NG, your little dialogues would be fantastic for a film. why dont we make a film of it and get it played on Universal TV and live on the royalities. these people don't appreciate your talents saxiboow. lets make our production company and become stars.

[Mr. Somalia]

To Ngonge:

 

I'm sure your thread will garner you a better response in here if you wrote it in af soomaali. So please humor me, and attempt an interlingual rendition of the aforementioned narrative in our mother tongue!

 

I shall look forward to seeing it then...

[Jacaylbaro]

[N.O.R.F]

LOL@Tupac's Hit Em Up.

 

Good stuff but your forgot, I suspect on purpose, our friend sitting in Hargaisa Palace.

[NGONGE]

^^ It was getting too long. I had to stop somewhere. But I reckon Riyaale would have asked for the song that says 'wan mabsuuday' or 'we are the champions'.

[Jacaylbaro]

Rayaale waa Sheekh ,,, doesn't listen to songs ,,

[Ibtisam]

Why does the silly women keep giggling, this is sexist post Ngonge. You think women have no role in that area but giggling :mad:

[NGONGE]

^^ You giggle or titter in public, don't you? Mese you laugh out loud? :eek:

[Ibtisam]

No I always laugh a hearty laugh, ila iyo kowsaha ii muuqda. Now take your brother and Arab mentality back while I have a laugh. Qax qax qax.

 

P.s. Can't she do anything else, the guy has all the lengthy script and she just giggles and repeats the end of his damn sentence.

[Jacaylbaro]

but she is lovable no ?? ,, everyone is asking for her ,,

[Ibtisam]

Yeah, they like her because she is beauty without brains, it is a perverted show. How come there are no women callers? I want a civilian to call and I want Dr. Fadumo Abdi to call.

[MZanzi]

Adigu maskax la'aanteeda halkeebad ku aragtay? misa quruxdaad udiiidan tahay