Somali Teens and Drugs Prevention: Tips?

[SpectaKooler]

Just found out that my cousins 16 year old kid has started experimenting with smoking weed + whatever else he's smoking. He got a call one day from school, kid throwing up nonstop, blood shot eyes, high as a kite, & reeking of it. Took him to the hospital, but they said that there wasnt really anything else in his system.

 

Must say it came as shocker and we all felt stpid for not noticing what the hell was going on all along. There were no real signs. He's what u call a typical somali kid who was smart, did well in school, and all of that. Went to Dugsi and spent enough time at home, watching tv like the rest. Anyway, from what im thinking, he isnt completely gone and there is this feeling of prevention still in the picture. Suffice to say we're not giving up on him. He's 16 for God's sakes.

 

As it stands: My cousin's tried talking to him, Parent to child, Man to Man, Authority to subordinate. Gave him some good ole' whupping when none of that worked, and is now so stressed he's planning on taking him to and from school every day. I told him Baby sitting a 16 yr. old is bound to not hold up forever, but more than that I didnt really know what to say.

 

Options as they stand were; To run and take him to Somalia or something? Seriously? :rolleyes: If so, how would that solve the problem? Somalia's pretty unstable and if Africa, im sure there are drugs damn near everywhere. Period.

 

To Move? The neighborhood they live in is relatively safe, and they own their own house. So any moving's gonna be a bit major for their entire family.

 

 

Any Suggestions fellow Somali's? Anyone had something similar happen to anyone they knew's kid or whatever?

[N.O.R.F]

Advise him to concentrate on school and getting his grades in a more practical way. Don't just talk about it but SHOW how he would benefit. This might involve getting him involved in work experience in the summer and throughout his holidays. Keep him busy. Can he work at any local stores/supermarkets?

 

What is looking to be? A banker? A doctor? Look around and encourage him to take it and he will probably get paid as well. Once he sees the bigger picture he will KNOW just how important school/college/uni is and work hard to finish with a vision of work and getting paid in his mind.

 

Show him the BIG PICTURE because all he sees now is his friends rebelling and dropping out of school telling him it's cool.

 

Give him some space as well. You don't need to be on his case all the time. See if he takes your advice and if he does then let him grow and learn from his mistakes. Life isn't easy.

[Jacaylbaro]

I can share you with a little experience i have here.

 

People think as soon as they send their kids back home then they will be good, religious and cultural. But what i know is that i've seen many of them sent to Somaliland and yet have the same habits and even worse.

 

Many young are here and still consuming the weed here as it costs cheaper than it is in the UK for example. Plush the Khat and alcohol.

[cynical lady]

I agree with Norf there, his not a young boi, and whupping/ placing him under tight control won’t work. The father needs to stop seeing his relationship with his son as one of authority and subordinate; he needs to win his son back before he losses him completely to the streets. Thus he needs to appeal to his intelligence and show him the consequences of his actions. And in this case i would say; 1.) Take a good look at the friends- they are more or else the indication of what went wrong thus try to counter act that. 2) i know they own their house, but families must think about the surroundings their bringing their kids into too. So i would say kick start the moving process and preferably move to an area that has nothing but green/farms.. 3.) Father and son need a bonding session i would say them two need a 3 month holiday. Spending time with the father doing what the term as “father-son” moments will provide the father with an opportunity to bond and have a man-man chat with his son, hopefully without judgements etc...at this stage one can be presumptuous in saying the kid has street role models ones his relating too....and the father will need to re-orient that thus silence the street voices in his kids head.

 

Or CALL FRANK.

 

p.s sometimes heavy dose of deen isn’t the solution....

[Abu-Salman]

Fundamentally, one's actions depend on one's vision of life; it's up to the wider family to foster a spirit of religious comittment and, above all, teach the younger ones their Islamic Aqeedah (thus the importance of famillial and local Da'wah in all its forms).

 

Basically, learning and teaching Tawhid and its implications as a Muslim takes precedence over anything else; then, it becomes so much easier to resist all these common addictions, peer and commercial pressures or unislamic lifestyles in general (and yes that include TVs etc).

 

That is why the prophet and Ulamas insisted on Tawhid even before discussing, let alone banning, all these destructive habits since nothing is built without solid foundations.

 

I usually try and offer excellent works of references such as "Guide to Sound Creed (A Book on Muslim Creed and Faith)" by Sh Dr Saalih Al-Fawzaan, alongside more tailored ones in particular cases (DVDs on Islamic Homes by eloquent Somali preachers such as Sh Mustapha Xaaji Ismaaciil).

 

Of course, it needs persistence and cleverly incorporating Da'wah into your own lifestyle as a paramount duty; there is indeed little more refreshing than a recently well guided cousin convincing another sibling...

[chubacka]

Try to put it in perspective and this will help to prevent panicking and thinking of the worse possible outcome.

 

He is a teenager and will expriment with such things esp as those around him are all into it, I think now would be the perfect time to try to get the whole family involved, cousins etc, talking to the boy, befriending him, taking him out etc, showing him people really care about him and his future.

 

Also friends have an enormous impact so really try and tell him that his friends and their way of life will lead him into a deep, dark hole. Also if there is a mosque or classes that he could attend he will meet with a different set of friends there who he can spend his time with.

 

Coming down hard on him will probably alienate him so instead give him alternatives, find out what he is interested in and try to get him involved and active and lastly make sincere dua that he does not get drawn into this again.

 

He made a mistake, its not the end of the world, don't give up on him and ship him off to a place he has probably never seen.

 

All the best.

[5]

Originally posted by Abu-Salman:

unislamic lifestyles in general (and yes that include TVs etc).

 

(DVDs on Islamic Homes by eloquent Somali preachers such as Sh Mustapha Xaaji Ismaaciil).

Spectacooler, sending the kid to Somalia has the risk of him getting raped and turning gay. Yes, you read that correct.

 

Like Norfsky said, he needs positive role models. And like Cynical Lady mentioned, he needs to bond with his father.

Do you live in Canada? I know a kid whose Father took him camping in Nahanni National Reserve Park for three weeks. He said it was hell and he hated every second of it, but he got a lot closer to his Dad and he grew as a person. They also met some Native Americans and he saw the problems drugs and alcohol caused them. Granted, he isn't Somali but he was a trouble kid as well and this could really work for your nephew.

[SpectaKooler]

Thnk you all for ur responses!

 

Norfsky: Getting him a job would be pretty easy, monitering him and seeing what he does with that money - a whole another task. Volunteering or something of an educational thing could maybe be good. He's already refusing to do afterschool activities like sports and academically challenging clubs, though. Maybe its the peer pressure of a being a young kid excelling having him at odds, with the stereotype of "cool" or something. Since he's started highschool he just hasnt seemed as enthustiastic just about anything. That Big picture is definately lacking.

 

Cynical-lady: This is some what of a smaller town. Most of the kids he hangs out with are children of the parent's friends. Other Somali kids, with the exception of maybe one or two black kids (school mates and such). Now, the Gaalo kids were the first ones on the chopping block. As for the Somali 1's, when u look at them from afar, they all look normal. Not one inparticular stands out as a bad apple. I told the parents that they'd have to sit down with the other families and see maybe if those kids also had an issue. The response I got was luke-warm. Seemed as if they were hessitant not to even bring up the issue, for fear of "shaming" their own kid in the community or appearing as bad parents. Getting away from the enviroment could be good for them both. (Ps: Frank. As in the Postsecret Frank or the over the radio advices Frank?)

 

Abu-Salman: The deen is important to us as a family. My nephew's grown enough to already understand the whats good n' whats bad. At this age though, they think they're gonna live forever, and have the time to make mends later on. Getting him to understand that the world is all but 2 days might make him rethink on where he's going. This we will work on some more. Thanks for those Cd' picks.

 

Chubacka: Ur right about the part where his parents would have to try hard not to overreact. To be fair to them though, Somali parents arent exactly well equipped in this day and age, especially in a country whose culture they could barely understand, let alone relate with. Finding out personally made me sick to my stomach, cant imagine what they must go thru. My bro & I already made it a personal task to see if we can hang out with him, making up some sort of schedule where we could maybe do something together. Thing is he already attends a mosque. I suspect since many of his friends go there for dugsi related things that it may just be a place to just "hang-out". Getting him away from his familiar cycle's gonna be hard, but im sure it can be done.

 

2+2: lol@ gay. No comment, buddy. Not a Canadian, but that camping thing sounds pretty cool. Instead of the Native American's, though maybe we'll haul him to our local homeless shelter. That'll make him stay away from drugs. And from enlisting in the US military. 2, for 2.

[5]

Originally posted by SpectaKooler:

 

2+2: lol@ gay. No comment, buddy. Not a Canadian, but that camping thing sounds pretty cool. Instead of the Native American's, though maybe we'll haul him to our local homeless shelter. That'll make him stay away from drugs. And from enlisting in the US military. 2, for 2.

My dear SpectaKooler, homosexuality REALLY is an issue in Somalia. I wasn't joking. I have heard of boys who have been either seduced or raped in Somalia and continue their twisted ways in Europe.

[Napoleon]

^ Cantrabaqash.com. Somali's and their hysterical exaggeration never cease to amaze.

 

To the op

 

My only suggestion is to try to get the kid playin in sports, competitive sports whether it's soccer, boxing etc will help keep him focused and busy. Boredom is the number one reason teenagers smoke weed and shit, I should know as a former pot head.

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

The kid is only experimenting. Let him use his own intuition and he will come out of this stronger. The issue is Somali parents don't give their children enough independence and responsibilities. He is not a child, let him come out of this by himself. If that doesn't work, under no circumstance should you ever flash him out as a weed smoker. It will destroy him if people know of his addiction.

[BUKURR]

Stick and carrot program may do advantage here, balancing it in the way parents need.