Buuxo Posted July 30, 2007 i love weddings, it's the only time i can practice my hidiyo daqan ciyaaro. But there are always the negatives to going to somali weddings, which you all mentioned above. i always make the mistake of starving myself the whole day, so i can make space for a good meal. But too many times i have left without having any meal for the following reasons, the bride arrives late and therefore food is served late and it's past my bed-time and yes the food is always cold :mad: . Standing on chairs is so unbecoming & ungraceful, no one likes to look at your hemline. lool lily i hate this too, but everyone wants to be part of the goob and no-one can see anything.so if can't beat them,you join them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wigad Posted July 30, 2007 The new weddings where men and women mix together i dont like. and also haweenkii way tageen waa la is qaawinaa to the extent that i feel like telling some of them you really have nothing to show so cover up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ayaanick Posted July 30, 2007 somali weddings lack simplicity----just my understanding... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted August 2, 2007 Originally posted by Ghanima: I think all my friends had a meeting and decided to have their weddings one after another!. Do you hate the fact that people are getting married and having wedding to celebrate it, or the fact that it is not you who is getting married? I luv weddings...I think it is time to be happy for your family/friends...Of course, there are the occational weddings when I'm bored to death; but overall they are fun...I enjoy them... May be us, Torontonians, know how to throw a party... I just hate winter weddings...But, once I'm there, I have fun... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted August 2, 2007 An SOL classic by the bored one :cool: Picture a large hall; it could be based in a grand old hotel or a local community centre. There is red carpet all over the floors, the tables are nicely clothed and have small vases with plastic flowers in all of them. There are helium balloons hanging in every corner of the hall (they have the names of the bride and groom written on them). On a prominent corner of this hall, there are large speakers and massive lengths of cable. A solitary keyboard is lying on the floor! On the far centre of the hall, there are two stylish chairs (the type usually found in the sitting rooms of posh old style villas in 40’s Hollywood movies). A group of young girls with rolled up hair; manicured hands, half done makeup and casual clothes are running all over the hall. They stop to talk to each other while trying to hold two other conversations on the two mobile phones they’re carrying. There is panic in their eyes! The wedding cake has not arrived, the food is late and the bride has phoned them for the umpteenth time to check if everything is under control! The bride’s brother and a couple of his friends arrive carrying huge pots full of food from the morning’s lunch! They claim that the older ladies back home had thought it a good idea to make use of this food. The girls panic! This was supposed to be a classy wedding; the rice and meat will only lower the tone! The brother and his friend’s attempt to fish in murky waters by flirting with these panicky girls! He receives a phone call. His mother wants him to visit a distant relative on the other side of town to fetch a golden belt; the belt would look really nice on her daughter’s white dress, she thinks. The brother claims not to know the address and persuades his mother to ask one of the girls (the one he likes) to accompany him on this task. The delighted girl fakes shyness and moans about all the preparations she still has to do, but, reluctantly agrees to join the brother on this pointless trip. The groom arrives with a couple of his friends, his stressed wife to be, had phoned him crying and told him that all her wedding plans were falling apart. He came to assess the damage and see what he could salvage. He speaks to the girls, finds out what the problems are then phones his own mother for advice! The girls faint, his friends heroically try to comfort them. The bride’s mother arrives on the scene. One of the girls had phoned her and told her about the little conversation the groom had had with his mother! This old lady is not going to be upstaged; it’s traditionally known that the bride’s family are in charge of such events, what does that old woman think she’s playing at by sticking her oar in where it’s not wanted? The groom receives a call from his elder and very religious brother. He’s ordered to present himself at this brother’s house immediately! The groaning groom wonders if it’s going to be another lecture about the sinfulness and waywardness of mixed weddings! The poor unsuspecting man is unaware of what’s about to hit him. His brother, in addition to the usual lecture about mixed weddings, is planning to lecture him on the birds and the bees tonight. Our happy groom is going to be instructed to, erm, deflower his wife as soon as possible; it’s Sunna! Meanwhile, the bride is at home being fussed over by a crowd of women. Her best friends are not there to comfort her; they’re all in the hall trying to recreate her vision of a great wedding (one that they spoke about all their lives). She’s got her hair done already; she’s got her henna on. An old lady that’s been staring at her for the past five minutes walks over and declares, in a loud voice, that the bride is looking pale (or rather dark). Everyone panics! Some suggest she puts on the usual skin whitening chemicals (apply it one more time, they say. It’s your wedding day, dear). Others suggest she uses the traditional Somali skin products (which she already used, but one more time will not hurt). She refuses and tells them that this will ruin her hair and she herself will have to reapply her makeup (she knows she can’t do as good a job as the woman in the saloon did earlier). Faced with such rejection, the old lady decides to utilise an old traditional trick, she starts pinching the bride’s cheeks to make them look redder and livelier! The makeup is ruined! Back in the wedding hall, the guests are starting to arrive. Young girls with dollops of what looks like Vaseline in their hair, teasingly saunter in; young boys with varying styles of dress, raucously stroll in; old ladies with obscenely colourful dresses, casually amble in! A group of men, dressed in identical and ill-fitting suits arrive carrying more cables, a guitar and a tiny speaker. They place themselves in the corner and start testing the musical equipment. This wedding is in full swing. Among the chatter of the people, the laughs of the girls and the posturing of the boys, a man is heard shouting into the microphone the words “testing, testing, 123â€. A sudden panic sets in amongst our original group of girls. They’re now fully dressed and looking a million dollars. They’ve just been informed that the groom’s family has arrived! One rushes over to welcome them and guide them to their table, they ignore her and sit on another table instead. The groom’s two sisters disdainfully look around and make biting comments about the hall, the tables, the position of the band and everything to do with the setup of this wedding. The groom’s mother shares their sentiment but regally refuses to sully her royal tongue with such base utterances! The band starts playing, a balding man with a tight suit and retro glasses glides into the dance floor. A couple of girls join him (out of pity perhaps) and start to lazily dance. The band ups the tempo and plays a popular song, whereby all the girls race to the dance floor to join the lazy dance, the shiny bald head of the man can be seen from the distance bobbing away amongst all these fair maidens. A pang of envy goes through all the boys! The groom, having pacified his brother and promised to consummate his marriage forthwith, and the bride, having reapplied her makeup, fixed her hair and disentangled herself from the clutches of all those women, arrive, sweaty and holding hands. A line forms at the entrance of the hall to usher the couple in. Envious girls look at the bride’s beauty in awe and absolute wonder; desperate boys hopelessly try to attract her following bridesmaids attention with much winking and rising of eyebrows! The band plays the customary song and the crowd start clapping and singing. The happy couple slowly walk through the parallel lines of cheering guests. A baby in a tuxedo runs across their path, falls and starts crying! A quick-footed girl with a long neck darts in, picks him up and disappears into the crowd. The bride and groom reach their seats; they’re attacked by our group of girls who start fixing the creases on the man’s suit, the twists on the woman’s dress and the angles of the chairs. A middle-aged man’s voice is heard above all the hubbub. He loudly declares this wedding party, a party that has been running for the past three hours, underway! He invites one of the members of the band to bless this wedding by reading a few verses from the holy book. The band member reads the shortest verse he could think of. A few guests on one side of the hall start clapping, while from the other side of the hall the sound “shush†is loudly heard! The band start singing a dull song, this is the signal for the bride and groom to begin dancing. They both look uncomfortable and depressed as they tentatively hold hands and start slowly swinging them around while not moving their feet! Each bridesmaid quickly grabs an uncle, cousin, brother or a distant relative and ushers them in into the dance floor. They start whispering encouraging words into the bride and groom’s ears. The bald man glides back into the dance floor with a suitable female partner this time. He grabs hold of the bride and starts energetically dancing with her. Both sets of families wonder who the hell is this man! An hour later, and while the band is playing a really popular song, someone orders them to stop because the heavyweights are ready to strut their stuff. Everybody groans at the sudden interruption of that great song. A group of old ladies march to the band and one grabs the microphone. Without any instructions, signals or orders the crowd form a circle. The core of that circle is all made of old women and a few daring young girls. It’s ringed by another circle of many young women and a few old ones. That is also surrounded by yet another circle of young women, a couple of old ones and many many leering men. The woman on the microphone loudly (almost savagely) calls out someone’s name. The bride cringes but manages to keep a straight face. Suddenly, a drum is heard! Boom, boom, boom – boom! The old ladies in the inner circle start bouncing around, sometimes with both feet off the ground! They display an amazing and superhuman level of energy! These ladies, after all, are all registered disabled! They’re the proof, if proof is needed, that joy is a great healer. The baby in the tuxedo is seen jumping amongst the old ladies. The fun ends and the band starts playing another dull song for the benefit of the bride and groom. Both reluctantly amble back into the dance floor and nonchalantly pretend to dance. The bald man is dancing with a different partner this time. They’re oblivious to the shocked stares as they hold each other closely and slow dance next to the happy couple. The bride and groom are ushered back into their seats and the band starts playing a fast paced song. All the women stampede into the dance floor, many tying scarves round their waists and shaking their backsides faster than a food blender! The men try but fail to avert their gaze. The baby in the tuxedo stares at all the shaking backsides and heaving bosoms in utter fascination and absolute amazement. A non-Somali man enters the hall, he sticks out like a sore thumb and one of the bridesmaids is seen in deep conversation with him. He’s the hall manager and he’s there to tell anyone that’ll listen that the party should be over in the next five minutes! An hour later, the band start playing the final song and the bride and groom quickly cut the cake on their way out. As soon as they leave, the streets outside are fully of chattering Somalis and a traffic jam materialises out of thin air. Everyone agrees that it was a good wedding then go on to list all its faults. The boys start circling the crowd and searching for sweet looking single girls in need of a lift home, they get caught by irate old ladies and end up driving them home instead. Groups of nicely dressed young men and women arrive, late, but coolly slip into the crowds and pretend they’ve been there all along. Two hours later, the streets are empty and the bride’s brother is seen loading empty pots, balloons and various other materials into the boot of his car, the pretty girl is sitting in the passenger seat (could there be another wedding on the horizon?). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted August 2, 2007 A middle-aged man’s voice is heard above all the hubbub. He loudly declares this wedding party, a party that has been running for the past three hours, underway! He invites one of the members of the band to bless this wedding by reading a few verses from the holy book. The band member reads the shortest verse he could think of. The bald man glides back into the dance floor with a suitable female partner this time. He grabs hold of the bride and starts energetically dancing with her. Both sets of families wonder who the hell is this man! The woman on the microphone loudly (almost savagely) calls out someone’s name. The bride cringes but manages to keep a straight face. Suddenly, a drum is heard! Boom, boom, boom – boom! The old ladies in the inner circle start bouncing around, sometimes with both feet off the ground! They display an amazing and superhuman level of energy! These ladies, after all, are all registered disabled! hahahahahahah The bald man is dancing with a different partner this time. They’re oblivious to the shocked stares as they hold each other closely and slow dance next to the happy couple. An hour later, the band start playing the final song and the bride and groom quickly cut the cake on their way out. As soon as they leave, the streets outside are fully of chattering Somalis and a traffic jam materialises out of thin air. Everyone agrees that it was a good wedding then go on to list all its faults. The boys start circling the crowd and searching for sweet looking single girls in need of a lift home, they get caught by irate old ladies and end up driving them home instead. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar Posted August 3, 2007 Originally posted by Kool_Kat: quote:Originally posted by Ghanima: [qb] I think all my friends had a meeting and decided to have their weddings one after another!. Do you hate the fact that people are getting married and having wedding to celebrate it, or the fact that it is not you who is getting married? Ouch! Laakiin isn't that how most girls in certain age feel? It is called if-only syndrome with a dose of enviousness. Why go to an aroos if you don't want to begin with? Yaab badanaa. Soomaalida will have the tiniest details to criticize arooska, aroosadda iyo xafladooda, when probably half to three quarters of the people there are not even invited and are unknowns to the groom and bride. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 3, 2007 North, lol classic, everything described and more happened! Kool_Kat lool No I just wish I was not one of the friends who's role is to make sure a doomed day from the word go, looks good enough for my dear friend/family (the bride) who arrives when I’m ready to drop asleep or out of exhaustion at 11.00pm! I just wish they would use wedding planners, and have a simple organised wedding or just go to a club and have rave instead of trying to have a rave style wedding! is that too much to ask MMA: I think them times are over, people do not normal attend when they have not be invited, and I think it is only the older generation that talk negatively about the wedding itself and point out faults. The younger generations are easier to please (give them good music/ drinks and sweets) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Lily- Posted August 3, 2007 North that piece is halarious, slightly cynical though. I think them times are over, people do not normal attend when they have not be invited Ghanima, I beg to differ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 3, 2007 ^^^Lol^ How would they get by the guy at the door? I guess it is different sometimes. If you send out invites peopl will not just turn up, but if you just say everyone is welcome, or word of mouth invite then yeah the whole area and their dads will turn up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Socod_badne Posted August 3, 2007 Right now, I hate summer... it's humid, stuffy and as enjoyable as bad toothache since you're virtually consigned to indoors all day (if there's AC that is). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted August 3, 2007 Originally posted by Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar: Ouch! Laakiin isn't that how most girls in certain age feel? It is called if-only syndrome with a dose of enviousness. Hade haduusan calafkooda galin, ma dadkey xagxaganaayaan...I've seen quite a few of those, and once I sense they have the "if-only syndrome", I rub it on their faces...Cuz that day is not about them, it is about their friend/family, so they should be happy regardless... I just wish they would use wedding planners, and have a simple organised wedding Ghanima, we, Somalis, are far from simple...So why should we have simple weddings...There is nothing simple about having a wedding... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted August 3, 2007 Hade haduusan calafkooda galin, ma dadkey xagxaganaayaan...I've seen quite a few of those, and once I sense they have the "if-only syndrome", I rub it on their faces Looool, HAHAH. I have yet to meet one of these. Most people are hot and bothered but cheerful in weddings. lool @ dadkey xagxaganaayaan Kool_Kat, weddings can be simple, I went to a friends wedding last year, she had 20, yes 20 guest only and the wedding finished at 9pm (before you ask she was somali and so was the guy) I loved, I think it is the best wedding I've ever been to!. so i guess it is possible Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
-Lily- Posted August 3, 2007 ^^ That sounds really nice. Actually Kool Kat the married ones can be just as annoying as the unmarried jealous types, boasting about their status as if they have found the Holy Grail. G, un fortunatley having a family and friends do seems to extend to whoever of the other 100 thousand people you share a tribe with that lives in that city. A 20 ppl wedding sounds nice, but our own immediate families can be up to 20 ppl. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted August 3, 2007 Originally posted by -Lily-: Actually Kool Kat the married ones can be just as annoying as the unmarried jealous types, boasting about their status as if they have found the Holy Grail. Haba igu sheeginbo, kuwa saas ah aduunkaa u necbahay...I hate them with passion...Ninmakooda sanka kaa galinaayo...Hebel this, hebel that...Ha isoo marina dheh... Kool_Kat, weddings can be simple, I went to a friends wedding last year, she had 20, yes 20 guest only and the wedding finished at 9pm (before you ask she was somali and so was the guy) I loved, I think it is the best wedding I've ever been to!. so i guess it is possible Ghanima, where i live (Toronto), even the muxaadara ones, don't finish at 9pm...They start at 9... I, pesonally, don't start getting ready til 10 or 11pm...The earliest I ever went to a wedding was midnight...I arrive in style...lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
