The Life and Death of Abdinasir Dirie

[Chimera]

Blame the parents? - why? The men who died as a result of dealing, were grown men and had a choice. Plenty of times from the age of 13 to the age of 17 shady men offered me 700 euros a week if I sold their stash, I said no thanks! Throughout that time my allowance was 2.50 / 5 euro a week, and still I had no interest in dealing, plenty of poverty in my childhood too; playing with 80s toys in the 90s, no lunches, chocolate bars always split two ways, sharing of clothes, and STILL NO DEALING!

 

Teach kids from early on the destruction these evil products inflict on the people they sell it to, and no amount of temptation will seduce them. Teach them also that hard earned money gives one more statisfaction than 'easy money'. My mother from the age of 9 woke me up at 6 AM seven days a week and had me join my brother on his paper route, this hard earned extra money lasted longer and felt better than the one time I stole 100 euro from my father and got sick on chocolate and candy with a girl from Duqsi class.

 

Don't get me started on those two poor girls who will be locked for years in a Kingston prison, my heart sank when she said her father cried! That rebel attitude and delusional concept of freedom has taken them nowhere. Some need to realise their fathers and mothers are not their enemies they are their allies.

[Aaliyyah]

^So proud of you agent I am almost in tears

 

With that been said you raised very good points. We should not always blame the parents. However, I was referring to the parent's role when their sons were much younger. Obviously, now they are grown men as you pointed out and parent's role is minimized. But, never underestimate the role of the parent when kids are young. It does reflect on the choices they make later on in life you even pointed out that your mom used to wake u up 6 in the morning? why did she do that? so she can teach you about hard work right. Life is not easy you have to work for it...and didn't those lessons she taught you at a young age shaped you as an adult. Alhamdulilah for the way our parents raised us...some somalis are not in the same boat so we should always know that our parents took that extra mile to make us who we are. But, you are right at the end of the day as an adult you do have a brain iyo caqli aad ku fakartid and you can wake up and make the right choices in life. But, at times when a teenagers is caught up in all that rubbish and gang life is hard to come out one reason being easy money ba u macanana secondly I don't think once you are involved in such life style you can get out of it unless aad dalki hooyo ku noqotid ama dal kale u guurtid. I don't believe those type of gang and life style allows someone to get out..It is probably hey you know something of us? or something or hey you wanna leave us do you think you are better. Those type of life waxaaba wacan marka horeba in ilmuhu ku galin. Which is why I always emphasize more the parent's role rather than the individual's choice later in life....

 

salaam

[Libaax-Sankataabte]

I have few theories as to why Somali kids are failing in Toronto, London and Minneapolis.

 

I will share my thoughts another time.

[Chimera]

Aaliyah, if you watch the video you will notice Abdinasir and Iman have the best parents you can have, his mother is determined to succeed in life, doing multiple jobs while studying to become a nurse(which she did), the video says that Abdinasir had that same drive, clearly his mother raised him as best as she could. Take also note how the father the moment he heard of his daughter's predicament took a plane and paid for her bail, they don't seem to be the kind that neglect their children on purpose.

 

Fact is; when the kids become adults the onus is on them to call their parents and inform them of their daily life. It would be insane for these hardworking parents to simply stop their own lives and chase after their kids going to different cities or countries, that's simply not possible.

 

Yes our parents raised us well, but you and I could switch everything tomorrow if we wanted to. We could start piercing ourselves, cover our skin with tattoos, hang with the wrong crowd, deal cocaine, have lots of unprotected sex with multiple partners, visit every club we see, get into trouble with the law etc, and there is nothing our parents could do about this, and it would be unfair if anyone did blame our parents for this. Its self-discipline that prevents this switch.

 

The real solution to this problem is setting up successful after school programs, and creating a system of Somali students graduating from high school and guiding them immediately to Universities and from there on to paid work. Keeping them busy and focused.

 

I think Somali culture needs to be strengthened aswell, a contemporary version that appeals to these kids, one that is hip.

[Aaliyyah]

The real solution to this problem is setting up successful after school programs, and creating a system of Somali students graduating from high school and guiding them immediately to Universities and from there on to paid work. Keeping them busy and focused.

Adam I agree with you that Somalis need to set successful after school programs for their kids. However, there are already many after school programs in place they don't necessarily have to be set up by somalis. So again it is the somali parents to blame when their kids simply are free after school and most of them don't even get involved in any after school programs. Making them have too much time in their hands that most of them don't even know what to do with which pushes them to hang out with the wrong crowd and then who knows start dealing and what not.

 

With that been said I agree with most of what you said like when you said that you and me can change any day. But, I am not here to talk about the few individuals who were raised well and despite that turn out wrong. I am not even here discussing abdinasir or iman's story. But I am talking about the general problem that somalis are facing abroad you just can't tell me they were all raised well and just by chance they all changed? ....That is just not the case.

 

salaam

[Ismahaan]

Dhibaatooyinka Somalida Canada Heysta,18 dhalinyaro ah oo isku meel ku aasan, Labo gabdhood oo Jameyka lagu xirey Daroogo lagu qabtey awgeed.

Full history include videos

[Che -Guevara]

^Something you learn the hard way-the whole debacle is indicative of the larger societal change/problem-the civil war not only destroyed Somalia but also the very fabric of Somali society.

[Kool_Kat]

Originally posted by Agent -12345:

Blame the parents? - why? The men who died as a result of dealing, were grown men and had a choice. Plenty of times from the age of 13 to the age of 17 shady men offered me 700 euros a week if I sold their stash, I said no thanks! Throughout that time my allowance was 2.50 / 5 euro a week, and still I had no interest in dealing, plenty of poverty in my childhood too; playing with 80s toys in the 90s, no lunches, chocolate bars always split two ways, sharing of clothes, and STILL NO DEALING!

 

Teach kids from early on the destruction these evil products inflict on the people they sell it to, and no amount of temptation will seduce them. Teach them also that hard earned money gives one more statisfaction than 'easy money'. My mother from the age of 9 woke me up at 6 AM seven days a week and had me join my brother on his paper route, this hard earned extra money lasted longer and felt better than the one time I stole 100 euro from my father and got sick on chocolate and candy with a girl from Duqsi class.

 

Don't get me started on those two poor girls who will be locked for years in a Kingston prison, my heart sank when she said her father cried! That rebel attitude and delusional concept of freedom has taken them nowhere. Some need to realise their fathers and mothers are not their enemies they are their allies.

Bless your parents and parents like them! You have to know, it is because of what they taught at an early age that you turned out the fine young man you're today...After their hard work in raising you to be a responsible adult, know right from wrong, had you still choose to lead a life of violence/drugs/crime, then that would've been on you! But in this case, that is not the story...

 

One has to wonder how a family of five children could one be shot dead and another be in another country facing jail time for drug charges? A lot of things aren't adding up! If this mother worked hard (and I am not saying she didn't), she should've left that neighborhood for the sake of a better life for her children...Furthermore, there was no father figure in the home...In the video, Iman mentions that their father wasn't in their lives...So a single mother, working (as she claims), raising five kids in the projects of Toronto, this family aren't revealing the true life their children led...You also cannot stop to wonder how does Iman consider a drug dealer to be her friend? After all she claims a friend purchased the tickets with no strings attached! Even more so, why didn't the mother question her 19 year old son where he's getting all of the money he had...

 

In my books, if you dress like a thug, walk like a thug, talk like a thug, hang around with thugs, YOU ARE A THUG! Wrong place at the wrong time can only work for so long...Blaming on friend? C'MON!!! There was so much wrong with the picture this family painted for us on so many levels, indhahana in nala tiro aa larabaa...The highlight, for me, was when the reporter says "let me play the devil's advocate"! Wey laheshay...

 

Parenting isn't something that ends when your children reach a certain age...It is an ongoing process where parents make mistakes just as their children, but learn from it and try not to repeat...HOWEVER, parenting isn't turning a blind eye when your child, regardless of age, is leading a dark path and still aad u sii sacabyo tunto!!!!!!!!!

 

Had this family said, yes Abdinasir did his share of wrongs, BUT DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE, walahi I wouldn't be talking this way...But to try and cover what's in front of us, doqon maa madaxa iiga qoran? :mad:

[Aaliyyah]

^^Well said Koolkat walaal. I couldnt have agreed more.

[Ismalura]

Horta Ilaahey ha u naxariisto intii dhimatay dadkoodana samir iyo iimaan alaha ka siiyo. It is indeed a sad sad situation.

 

Like I have noticed many times before almost everyone here has a single-sided and judgmental explanation for what is wrong with Somali Maxamed. I personally don't belief that we are as horrible as some of the above posts make us look. We are very far from being perfect but I don't think we are the worst of the immigrant communities in the west.

 

That said, our people here have real problems (the drug issues being one of them) and I don't think the solution is a simple as saying that parents should live in better neighbourhoods or young people should make better choices. Of course both are relevant solutions but they are just two sides of a very complex, (very) multi dimensional and very serious problem.

 

Finally, since these are our people and we all have a responsibility towards them maxaan sameyn karaa? Koley bashing less hardworking, less intelligent and less lucky Somalis is not gonna get us far. Instead finding a way to individually make a difference (and I bet many on Sol are already doing that) would be a better use of our energy.

[Chimera]

Originally posted by Aaliyyah:

Adam I agree with you that Somalis need to set successful after school programs for their kids. However, there are already many after school programs in place they don't necessarily have to be set up by somalis.

True, and in this discussion we shouldn't ignore the many people like the lady in the video who provides free dinners for unemployed Somalis, or the coach who keeps the youth focused on something productive. I think however these programs need to upgrade themselves to a higher level in Canada. In Holland the adult Somali men would establish Film marathons on fridays and saturdays in community centers. This kept 90% of the youth away from the town centers at a time when its very busy. This also kept them safe from bad influences. These guys would also organise trips to amusement parks giving us a real sense of a community.

 

So again it is the somali parents to blame when their kids simply are free after school and most of them don't even get involved in any after school programs. Making them have too much time in their hands that most of them don't even know what to do with which pushes them to hang out with the wrong crowd and then who knows start dealing and what not.

To tell you the truth I have always been an explorer, I will give you two examples; from the time I had a small bike at the age of 6, I left our frontyard and rode from one town to the other, sometimes I panicked because I got lost but then I found the way back. One time I really outdid myself and ended up in the middle of nowhere, I knocked on a house and the Dutch farmer and his wife let me in and called the police, who called my mother. The entire time she and my brothers/sisters had searched for me in the different neighbourhoods and parks of the town we lived, evendo I was like twenty miles somewhere else.

 

Example Two: When I was 14 years old me and a group of Moroccan friends took several trains to the other side of the country, we walked through the malls, ate at McDonalds, went to the Cinema, ate Kebab etc and then ran back to the station. We had missed one of the trains and so had to wait till morning. I arrived home at 9 the next day. My mother's eyes were red, she hadn't slept the entire night.

 

What exactly could my mother or father have done in these two examples? Many times she had forbade me from going that far, but did I listen? No! Therefore if during these two examples I had dealed drugs or I had killed an innocent person how could anyone blame my parents for something I did?, and something that is out of their hands?

 

They can't chain me to the bed and call it a day.

 

With that been said I agree with most of what you said like when you said that you and me can change any day. But, I am not here to talk about the few individuals who were raised well and despite that turn out wrong. I am not even here discussing abdinasir or iman's story. But I am talking about the general problem that somalis are facing abroad you just can't tell me they were all raised well and just by chance they all changed? ....That is just not the case.

 

salaam [/QB]

As I said before, Somali Culture needs to be strengthened, if you look at the Indian and Chinese diasporas they have created strong unified sub-cultures involving festivals, music, fashion, films etc largely because their homeland is stable, so you rarely see a Chinese or an Indian wearing baggy jeans or adopting drugs culture, however the problem in Alberta is not a 'Somali problem' its a Canadian problem, see the Homicide capital Manitoba, 57 people were killed in 2009, also note that Alberta is last on that list and has made the biggest dip in gang related deaths, so there is an improvement there.

[Chimera]

Originally posted by Kool_Kat:

Bless your parents and parents like them! You have to know, it is because of what they taught at an early age that you turned out the fine young man you're today...After their hard work in raising you to be a responsible adult, know right from wrong, had you still choose to lead a life of violence/drugs/crime, then that would've been on you! But in this case, that is not the story...

 

One has to wonder how a family of five children could one be shot dead and another be in another country facing jail time for drug charges? A lot of things aren't adding up! If this mother worked hard (and I am not saying she didn't), she should've left that neighborhood for the sake of a better life for her children...Furthermore, there was no father figure in the home...In the video, Iman mentions that their father wasn't in their lives...So a single mother, working (as she claims), raising five kids in the projects of Toronto, this family aren't revealing the true life their children led...You also cannot stop to wonder how does Iman consider a drug dealer to be her friend? After all she claims a friend purchased the tickets with no strings attached! Even more so, why didn't the mother question her 19 year old son where he's getting all of the money he had...

 

In my books, if you dress like a thug, walk like a thug, talk like a thug, hang around with thugs, YOU ARE A THUG! Wrong place at the wrong time can only work for so long...Blaming on friend? C'MON!!! There was so much wrong with the picture this family painted for us on so many levels, indhahana in nala tiro aa larabaa...The highlight, for me, was when the reporter says "let me play the devil's advocate"! Wey laheshay...

 

Parenting isn't something that ends when your children reach a certain age...It is an ongoing process where parents make mistakes just as their children, but learn from it and try not to repeat...HOWEVER, parenting isn't turning a blind eye when your child, regardless of age, is leading a dark path and still aad u sii sacabyo tunto!!!!!!!!!

 

Had this family said, yes Abdinasir did his share of wrongs, BUT DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE, walahi I wouldn't be talking this way...But to try and cover what's in front of us, doqon maa madaxa iiga qoran? :mad:

I share your sentiments, but there is only so much our parents can do. You mentioned this was a family of five, why haven't the other three followed the path of those younger than them? Do these problems affect a certain age-section of the new generation? Really, if my younger brother were to become a drugs dealer, me and his other older brothers could guide him to the straight path through lectures, or discipline him by beating him up, but would he listen? Would he listen to my mother and father? What if he said he stopped, but continued in the shadows, and then ended up killed, how could we have prevented this? My mother and father certainly wouldn't be the ones to blame. If someone is determined to follow a certain path, despite all the advice you give, no amount of family love will make them change their mind.

 

I agree though about teaching them important moral codes when their young, and their minds are like a blank canvas ready to absorb anything. Maybe the introduction of drugs-education at Duqsi-class would fit this role.

[Aaliyyah]

True, and in this discussion we shouldn't ignore the many people like the lady in the video who provides free dinners for unemployed Somalis, or the coach who keeps the youth focused on something productive. I think however these programs need to upgrade themselves to a higher level in Canada. In Holland the adult Somali men would establish Film marathons on fridays and saturdays in community centers. This kept 90% of the youth away from the town centers at a time when its very busy. This also kept them safe from bad influences. These guys would also organise trips to amusement parks giving us a real sense of a community.

Good point there I agree with you. Doesn't hurt to have strong community center that helps kids away from pursuing the wrong path.

 

 

What exactly could my mother or father have done in these two examples? Many times she had forbade me from going that far, but did I listen? No! Therefore if during these two examples I had dealed drugs or I had killed an innocent person how could anyone blame my parents for something I did?, and something that is out of their hands?

 

They can't chain me to the bed and call it a day.

well what could your parents have done differently??? hmm let me see when you were 6 years old and riding from a town to a town? I hope you were joking. They could have watched you closer I have 8 yrs old sister and I still don't let her ride farther than what my eyes can see.

 

As for the other example of 14 years old going to cinema with friends? that is fine. Personally, though I don't believe a parent should let a kid that age go to the mall on their own without parental supervision.

 

that sounds too much???...lol so be it!!!

 

Parents can not chain their kids to a bed and call it a day but surely parents can keep a very close eyes on their kids. That might sound too much but those kids will be very grateful one day. How many kids in Toronto/Mn etc are in jails?? guess what that is what happens when every parent let their kids go wild and are always afraid to control their kids...Let your kids have fun but that does not mean you should not practice your God given parental right..

 

As I said before, Somali Culture needs to be strengthened, if you look at the Indian and Chinese diasporas they have created strong unified sub-cultures involving festivals, music, fashion, films etc largely because their homeland is stable, so you rarely see a Chinese or an Indian wearing baggy jeans or adopting drugs culture, however the problem in Alberta is not a 'Somali problem' its a Canadian problem, see the Homicide capital Manitoba, 57 people were killed in 2009, also note that Alberta is last on that list and has made the biggest dip in gang related deaths, so there is an improvement

Of course I agree that it is a Canadian problem but I disagree that it is not Somali problem. Of course it is a Somali problem. I am not here gloating that it is a Somali problem but this is a sad fact. Somali parents especially moms sadly no father figures in most cases are crying about their murdered kids as a result of gang related issues. Wasn't a while back when we were seeing that documentary named "lost boys" by Rageh Omar. This happens to be a Somali issue globally sad but true.

 

I blame Somali parents for failing their kids and of course last but not least I blame the failure of the Somali government and the civil war for what is happening abroad to our community (kids going wild, the break up of families, parents not adjusting to the new environment and not knowing how to tackle and raise their kids in these environments, raising kids in ghetto areas ie financially not being stable etc). For instance, look what iiman said about her brother acting like a thug? How can you just blame him for what he did?? He was raised in Jamestown that happens to be one of the worst areas in Toronto. He is a product of the environment he was raised. Yes he could have been better he could been exception to the rule. But, sadly most cases one just rolls with who they mingle with. I hope he rests in peace..this is a wake up call for the somali community and what happen to him happened to many other somali youngsters. So it is not one case or two cases or three cases? That is why we can not just blame an individual for choosing that path...we have to look deeper (the role of the parents, the role of the Somali community, and even the role of the Canadian/British/American government)

 

I am gonna stop debating here and send my condolences to abdinasir's family. I do hope Allah swt helps them get through this hard time and hopefully they will learn from this and live a better life.

 

salaam

[Chimera]

Very little I can disagree with in that post of yours Aaliyah, you only have to visit forums like S-net and S-life to see there is something terribly wrong brewing amongst the youth. The gang-sex-ring in Minnesota is simply mindblowing and sends chills down my spine, now this thing in Alberta, I got a sick feeling inside when I saw all those graves and none of those guys had reached the age of 30.

 

The self-styled community leaders need to step up BIG TIME, and be blunt with our people, the current situation is leading them to doom. There are at the moment to many community leaders like the guy in the video who wanted to silence the lady that gives free meals.

 

The days of denial are over, if this generation doesn't set up the right foundation, the future ones will be even worse off. Don't get me started on those fools back in Somalia, they are the whole reason we are in this mess to begin with.

 

Best to watch over your own family and friends, and prevent such a situation happening to them.

[Boom Boom]

We're a cursed community. Things are only going to get worse.