I am scared for my future

[Haneefah]

Allah ha u aqbalo.

 

Malika, I hear dear, education indeed!

 

Originally posted by cynical lady:

Haneefa- then why don’t these so called “brothers” of ures offer themselves/siblings/ friends in a silver platter instead of coming here with there ‘we’ sympathize bulsh1dh? And unless am mistaken by posting this thread, she basically invited us to pass judgements...

Haha, perhaps these 'brothers of mine' have already done so, without feeling obligated to expose themselves in public; for all we know contact info is already being exchanged . And to your second statement, I don't see anywhere where the sister invited you to pass any judgment! That's just the approach you and others chose to take.

 

KK, waan gartey sis that it is your opinion. However, if I may remind you, Allah subhanuhu watacala is Al-Mujeeb, and He says, "Udcuuni, astajib lakum..." (Call unto me, and I will respond) without making istijaba dependent on the content of the duca (given that it's not evil). Secondly, it's sunnah to make dua for all your fellow Muslims (not just those in distress) even when they don't actively seek your dua - and such deed is considered very honourable in the eyes of Allah, as He elevates your station by commanding the angels to make dua for you whenever you remember your brothers and sisters. This is in addition to the thawab you're earning from the deed itself. Marka, ha dhayalsanin (hana la bakheylin) a simple dua for your fellow Muslims. Millions remember you in their prayers, esp in their sujuud, everytime they make dua for the whole ummah.

[Fabregas]

Originally posted by cynical lady:

First thing first…walks up to Malika and slaps her about. What are you saying? My dear there is a difference between actively seeking and being pathetic about it and this thread sadly is the later. Seriously I thinking about marriage day and night, exhausting all avenues, blaming god when one doesn’t get what one wants and don’t even start me please make duca’s for me etc.

 

Am sorry am just calling it for what it really is and I don’t mean to offend am simply translating what she is saying.

 

 

Haneefa- then why don’t these so called “brothers” of ures offer themselves/siblings/ friends in a silver platter instead of coming here with there ‘we’ sympathize bulsh1dh? And unless am mistaken by posting this thread, she basically invited us to pass judgements and if she doesn’t like what she is seeing then I suggest she gets a thicker skin.

p.s the yayasistehood is alive and kicking, it just doesn’t have time to deal with such pleas. Pressing matters to deal with and all e.g. did you know in some part of Afghanistan a woman is worth 2 mules 2 mules I tell you now that’s depressive and requires ducas.

oohhhhhhhhh please>> says the women who started the thread about you know what.............

 

stop being hypocrites and bullying the girl. why don't you say anything when qashin meshan lagu su qoro? bal datkan ega ninyow!

[Kool_Kat]

Originally posted by Haneefah:

KK, waan gartey sis that it is your opinion. However, if I may remind you, Allah subhanuhu watacala is Al-Mujeeb, and He says, "Udcuuni, astajib lakum..." (Call unto me, and I will respond) without making istijaba dependent on the content of the duca (given that it's not evil). Secondly, it's sunnah to make dua for all your fellow Muslims (not just those in distress) even when they don't actively seek your dua - and such deed is considered very honourable in the eyes of Allah, as He elevates your station by commanding the angels to make dua for you whenever you remember your brothers and sisters. This is in addition to the thawab you're earning from the deed itself. Marka, ha dhayalsanin (hana la bakheylin) a simple dua for your fellow Muslims. Millions remember

you

in their prayers, esp in their sujuud, everytime they make dua for the whole ummah.

I am not bakheyl with my ducas...No way Haneefah! However, I don't have the time, nor the energy aan ugu duceeyo someone who is scared for her future because she isn't married (where she should be thanking allah for her blessings), or that she spends day and night thinking about it (where she should be spending day and night inee ilaahigeeda tuugto), or has taken every avenue trying to find a husband (where she should be again inee ilaahigeeda tuugto, rather than thinking allah is punishing her for other reasons) simply cuz she isn't married yet...Wah!

 

Qof jiran waan u duceynaa, qof dhibaateysan waan u duceynaa, qof waalidkiis/walaalkii s/ehelkiis/tolkiisa dhibaateysan waan u duceynaa, qof cunugiisa jiran yahay waan u duceynaa, qof 'condition' qabo waan u duceynaa, qofse inta waqti kabatay oo maalin iyo habeen guur guur kafikireyso oo hadana ilaahba dacwa uqabto waqti aan ugu duceeyo mahaayo...Iga raali ahaada...

 

Ar nin waxaan shiir iyo shuruf eheen lama maqna...

[Sherban Shabeel]

LOL this thread blew up overnight!

 

If I may add my advice here, I think you need to harvest the power of your mind.

 

Be warned, this might sound a tad crazy, but it's my truth - and it can be your truth too.

 

God gave you your mind for a reason, so use it. It's the most powerful thing you have and if you call on it, God will give you the help you need.

 

He'll give you anything you ask for, but you have to do more than just beg and try to please Him. You have to TAKE INITIATIVE!

 

Mentally.

 

What I'm saying is imagine yourself with a wonderful husband. Visualize him inside your head, convince your mind that he's real. Don't think about your despair, about the future, about the past. Just imagine your husband as you want him, holding your hand or whatever is chaste enough for you. Just the simplest physical contact will do.

 

Let the warmth of that contact, of that presence, penetrate the deepest corners of your subconscious.

 

And do this everyday, until that warmth lingers even when you don't think about him. When that temporary warmth turns into permanent happiness.

 

Keep imagining your husband, in the morning and at night, as long as you need to reassure yourself, and this happiness will start radiating from you.

 

You will stop giving off the "desperate" vibe and become more attractive to all the men that are scattered about the universe.

 

Your subconscious won't know the difference between reality and imagination, and it will unwittingly bring you closer and closer to your goal every day.

 

A beautiful expression I read somwhere said "a thousand invisible hands will reach out to help you".

 

Good things will start happening to you, and sooner than you think a beautiful husband will present himself to you.

 

Take him!

 

The moral of this is, you will get a husband by mentally transforming yourself into a wife.

[Amna]

^ Thanks, but no thanks i'll stick to making lots of supplications and asking people to do the same for me insha allah.

[Sherban Shabeel]

good luck

[ayaanick]

Greetings:

 

Walaal first of all pay no attention to all that have nothing good to say. Second listen to Allah. Allah is trying to to teach a lesson, and they do say that good things come to those that wait. Alahmdulilah you should embrace all that is good in your life. Allah gave you another day to make a difference. You should live your life to the fullest, husband or no husband. No need to be sad or sorry....Walaal I want you to know that everything in life, and I mean everything in life happens for a reason. Be positive, be active. Are you seeking a husband in mind? Meaning is it just a thought? What have you done physically to get that Husband? Have seeked anyone's help. The Masjid is a great place to seek advice or even a good loving patner....relatives, school, social activities that are worth the time. You just never know what your missing unless you put yourself out there, and announce to the world that you are actively seeking a husband. "Hope without object cann't live, and Object without hope is like a necter in a seive."

[The_Siren]

I think quite a few excellent and heart felt advice has been give and in truth I was warmed by the numerous and intricate responses of everyone- your all good people deep inside. Its good to know

 

And the irony is that I agree with elements of everyone’s replies. Malika and Cynical Lady’s initial response mostly.

 

But what I'd like to you is that, why are people saying it’s pathetic to seek marriage and desperate to wish for a husband and a family? I might be a cold hearted dead on the inside b*tch but I completely understand man and woman’s natural desires to settle down and lay roots. It’s embedded within humanity and it’s just as a part of all of us as breathing the very air so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. After all we’re human and we are programmed in such a manner as to seek companion, love, understand and to relieve our most base physically infused sexually desires. Pride or arrogance in the matter as naught to do with it.

 

What is desperation or the notion of saving face in front of others or indeed internally battling with your pride when you’re swimming against the tides of every human’s conscious or subconscious evolutionary instinct?

 

To judge a person for seeking that which comes second nature to us isn’t fair or wise. Whether you accept it on a conscious or unconscious level its mere existence (yearning for a family) can not be swatted away completely with pre-occupying ones minds in any number of (no doubt enjoyable in their own way) activities, sure it helps but lets not get too hasty. Mankind is a pack animal and thus desire to form their own units so to speak is normal, desire to be a mother for example is strong in some but not all, and as a result we must program ourselves to still to be patient with those who do not easily fall into our lines of thought or personal strengths and disciplines.

 

Having said that, if life placed before your feet all that we pined and desired for would it truly be a reflection of life? I doubt it. Sometimes to live is to suffer- to strive for and have patience for those things which come easily to some and yet not to others. We must all endure, try our best in this world and accept those things Allah has placed in our care. Be it a medical condition, orphans, extreme poverty, harsh weather conditions, death, or the destruction.

 

For Allah knows that which each soul can handle and thus never burdens us with anything which we are unable to manage.

 

Take solace in that and know that Allah has given you this life and thrown particular tests your way because you capable of handling them. Listen to Ibti- take your mind off of marriage if you are able and get out there so to speak, join clubs, societies be, social be with others, try out new things and while you do this, listen to Malika. Be aware of your surroundings and make the use of meeting new people, new prospects of marriage. Smile, be happy, and confident. The more you begin to understand and love yourself the more you shall draw others near you. Be active in your search, go to your local mosque, ask your Imaan for advice and help in this great husband search of yours, explain your situation and perhaps he or someone close to him will know of someone suited for you. Do not be embarrassed they are human much like you and are likely to wish to help a fellow sister need, leave your false sense of pride at the door and enter with an open heart and open mind-be optimistic. Besides you woke up breathing today and that is in itself a cause for celebration. But ultimately take your life into your hands, you’ve dealt with the spiritual through prayers now its time you initiated the foot work, and smile and praise Allah while doing so.

 

But while you do this, listen to Cynical Lady. Do not hinder yourself emotionally if things don’t pan out as you’d like, steely yourself to the realities of life’s cruelty but embrace that uncertainty of life and where you find bitter salt- do not rub them into your already open sores by indulging in that most common of human of contrivances, self pity. Instead rub that sour piece of indictment ( ie salt) into a very juicy piece of Helib Geel, sprinkle a bit of xaawash and then consume it for what it is, a life improved. Somali-style.

 

To conclude- be active, be patient but most of all… be good to yourself and your psychological well-being. All this thinking and wishing and pressuring yourself with this time frame thing can’t be doing your self-esteem much good. So find out what you’re good at keeping doing it, gain ajar where you can and in time things will fall into place. And when you get those certain times when you feel that you’re falling into depression because of this pre-occupation? Sprinkle cold water on your face, seek guidance in Allah, read the quran, pray a few rakkaca’s and speak with your family, your mother and sisters and those who are close to you. No man is an island and sometimes we all just need a helping hand.

 

You’d be surprised by the power just one kind word from even a stranger has upon ones outlook. So I’d like to ask that we all remember that before we get embroidered within passionate albeit interestingly amusing debates.

 

I’d also like to commend Indhahoos- who out of everyone has managed to stay true to all of humanities best qualities, patience, kindness and most of all compassion. Who the f*ck needs tough love when it’s true compassion which has the ability to shake the very earth we stand upon. Bravo my lady, bravo…

 

And yes I was feeling very philosophical and love-dovey LOL-Don’t hate me for it, love me (Grabs each and every one of their hands and starts singing)

 

Koombayaa my lord, koombayaa!

[NGONGE]

^^ Koombaya my lord? I think she was after only Islamic duca, you bloody airhead.

 

 

Haneefah,

KK is not just bakheyl, she's a xaasid too.

 

CL,

I am going to pray for you more than I pray for the original poster. May you get a man that breaks your combs, burns your shoes and throws away your stylish trousers. May he love you to death, keep you out of breath and order you around. May he give you ten kids, house you in a ditch and, from kitchen work, give you no rest. May you love him like mad and when he beats you with his belt be glad and get you to always wash the feet of his mother AND dad.

(Say Amin).

[cynical lady]

@old man.....you love me really.

[Ibtisam]

LOOL @ Ngonge dua for CL!! :eek: LOOl

 

Some of you need to take a crash course in kindness :eek: What on earth.

 

The Siren, I think you said it for all, pulled it all together, even those who did not find a nice way of saying things.

[NGONGE]

^^ It's a good duca. It's what she really really wants. I'll pray for you too. Though It's difficult to find a similar man.

[Ibtisam]

^^^I'm okay, but I think you should make dua for Faheem's Ciilin to treat her better. The dude told me she is only allowed out two times a week! WHAT is all that about?

[cynical lady]

I expected a robust defence@ Ibti.

[Ibtisam]

^^My dear,sisterhood is concerned with more important things in life then defending cyber attack from an old toothless man dhee. **gazes at Afghan girls picture, and prepares to write an article about their sufferings*