Kool_Kat Posted March 24, 2009 Originally posted by Amna: With that said iam not desperate because desperate is someone who will jump in the marriage wagon with any guy who proposis to them, alhamdulilah i have not reached that level nor will i ever. I would rather be desperate and jump in the marriage wagon with any loser that looks at me twice than to come here and ask on a public forum for its members to keep me in their ducas! Bisinka what is this world coming to!!! Besides do you really think, with everthink else that's going on in ones life, they would actually say a duca for you? And just tell me how would the duca be said "Ilaahoow Amna nin u sahal" mise "Ilaahoow hadaadan Amna nin siiney samir sii"? :confused: BTW, what's your condition? May be we can waankuu duceyn karnaa inuu ilaahay 'condition' kaaga kuu fududeeyo! War heedhe haya ma'anaa waalan, mise Cadan baa laga heesayaa? Ps, I don't mean to offend you in any way, shape or form...I am just telling you like I would to my own sister or close friend who may have reached this point! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amna Posted March 24, 2009 I do not have any problems with my condition alhamdulilah. P.s. Of course they will and they already have. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted March 24, 2009 I didn't ask if you had any problems with your condition, which btw I think you do otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it...I asked what your condition is? And also what do you want in laguugu duceeyo? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amna Posted March 24, 2009 I misread your post, so stop assuming things and don't worry about what i want in a dua because iam not asking you to make dua for me. Masha allah, everyone else has been kind enough to do that already. Insha allah khair, take care. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted March 24, 2009 Originally posted by +FahIIma: Anyone would think a major tragedy has accured. There are worse situations to be in walal ee Alhamdulilah dhe. There is more to life than getting married, when it's meant to be it will happen...in the meantime stop obsessing about it. Life is too short to be stressing about things you have no control of...Be thankful for what you have because you're blessed. Re-read this post...Fahiima is about the only one who kept it real! Istaqfural inta dhahdo, bal count your blessings... Insha'allah kheyr. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted March 24, 2009 ^Ayeeyo, what's real? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Indhoos Posted March 24, 2009 Subhanallah.. I see many of the sisters in SOL are so into tough love, (i.e, Slap, slap, a quick shake, snap-out-of-it) I don't see anything wrong with the sister who came into a forum full of Muslims (hopefully)and asked inay usoo duceeyaan b/c of some difficulties in her life... Imisaa inagu jirta ayaa laga yaabaa inay ehlu khayr yihiin oo ducadooda loo ajiibo abaayadaan... All it takes is, simply, abaayo muraadkaaga allaha kuu sahlo, xitaa hadaadan soo xusuusan inaad markaad tukato intii islaama u ducayso, wakhtigaas aa qorayso ereyada on SOL u niyeeso.... Wabilaahi Towfiiq Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amna Posted March 24, 2009 And how do you know that i don't count my blessings?. How do you know that iam aware that there are people worse then me and thank allah every day that he chose me out all of them to give me a comfortable life?. If i want something i will ask allah first and foremost than my family and allah's ummah to make dua for me and there is no wrong in that. I don't understand how this is affecting you so much, if you don't like that i asked my muslim brothers and sisters to make a simple dua for me than i suggest you to keep out of my topic. P.s. I think this seems like a pretty good forum to come to everytime i have a problem and will again and again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted March 24, 2009 Originally posted by Che -Guevara: ^Ayeeyo, what's real? What's real is that one shouldn't be thinking about marriage day and night, as the poster said! There's more to life than this ayeeyo...What's also real is that there are a lot worse situations to be asking for your fellow Muslims duco than I can't find a husband ee iisoo duceya inuu alle sabar isiiyo... BTW, adi ma'usoo duceysay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted March 24, 2009 Originally posted by Amna: P.s. I think this seems like a pretty good forum to come to everytime i have a problem and will again and again. I hope you don't have too many problems to come here again and again with just problems...Allaha kuu fududeeyo, wixii dhibaato ahna allaha kaa leexiyo... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted March 24, 2009 well actually the problem is your location amna! CANADA!! this place has become xalimoos hard luck. just last weekend 2 of my Xs called from To. one visited while the other one was reading my email. they called me. i didnt remember the name of one at all. lol..i told them...gals get married before the clock runs out..hello! anyways, amna i going to recommend u to hookup with cadaan...hes good guy and thats what u deserve...the best. Cadaan...lemme see u walk the walk!! its win win situation for both of yah. good luck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Naden Posted March 24, 2009 Amna, I'm sending you a prayer, sister. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haneefah Posted March 24, 2009 Sister Amna, may Allah subxanahu watacala grant you your wishes, and provide you with a righteous husband who will assist you in seeking the best for this world and for the hereafter. If I may digress for a bit... Originally posted by Malika: its rare for us to advice anyone to stick to their marriages or struggles[not desparation]to find the ideal partner. Is it not strange that it's usually the women themselves who perpetuate these types of beliefs, attitudes, and behaviours towards marriage? It's interesting how almost all the brothers in this thread have shown sympathy towards the sister's situation, and without passing any judgment, made dua for her, whilst some of the sisters have been quite rude, insensitive and utterly judgmental. Subhanallah. Whatever happened to sisterly love, respect, support and appreciation of each other's views and priorities in life, as diverse as they may be? Do you ever wonder if this exaggerated 'isgiijis' attitude observed in some of our girls/women is somehow the effect of inherent cultural bias against a woman's expression of love and affection - debasing a woman's need to be loved and cared for by a man? Is it any wonder that some women develop these attitudes, as they were often taught (implicitly and explicitly) to be pretentiously inhibited in marriage? And ingrained in their minds was, "Don't ever reveal your feelings and emotions! Nin waligaa ha isu jilcinin oo waan ku jeclahay ha odhan! Ceeb." :rolleyes: If you look at it, it appears that many culturally recognized and expected behaviours of married women (and those in the process of getting married) have their origin in fear - fear of intimidating men, fear of making them run, fear of being perceived as vulnerable, desperate, and even 'unchaste', fear of other women snatching him, etc. It was all about him (I have no prejudice against the brothers, I just wish some women would learn to liberate themselves from this obsession with what men think of them, and instead focus on what Allah loves for them, and expects from them). Unfortunately, these unsubstantiated fears are still quite commonly held by many; this coupled with pride makes it highly unlikely for Somalis to readily embrace the concept of seeking a righteous husband for a daughter, sister, niece, or for oneself. Originally posted by Kool_Kat: I would rather be desperate and jump in the marriage wagon with any loser that looks at me twice than to come here and ask on a public forum for its members to keep me in their ducas! Bisinka what is this world coming to!!! Besides do you really think, with everthink else that's going on in ones life, they would actually say a duca for you? And just tell me how would the duca be said "Ilaahoow Amna nin u sahal" mise "Ilaahoow hadaadan Amna nin siiney samir sii"? :confused: While it may very well be true that you didn't mean to offend, the above comments are indeed very offensive and humiliating. I don't undertand how some people can be so blatantly inattentive to people's feelings . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nagwa Posted March 24, 2009 i don't know what is your condition is but hey why dont u go to masjid they will find you a good brotha with diin that is if you are desperate if not yeah just wait till mr right knock your door he is on his way walalo just wait and ilahay dalo saaro. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted March 24, 2009 Haneefa Then it looks like, ‘we’ culturally have misunderstood the philosophy of marriage. I think there is a need to re-educate in the benefits and intentions of such a union. Why are people surprised /shocked, that someone is actively seeking to find a partner so to be able to reach spiritual tranquillity, peace, and cooperation and partnership etc. As we all agree, Islam being the natural way of life, so to remember, all that takes into account of a genuine human instinct such as physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional etc. I agree there seem to be an embedded message that such is to be weak and in desperation, when in reality is only a matter of nature. I think its not unusual in other cultures to see a father or brother actively seeking a husband for their daughter. Which I believe is very rare in our Community.. Amna, have you express this desire to marry to the elders in your family? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
