I am scared for my future

[Ibtisam]

^^^I was going to say that, but thought better of it! LOL

[Faheema.]

^

 

Malika, Bal usheeg aniga iyo midget baa lagu salidee

 

NGONGE, I don't believe in fighting for a man. However, if he was a very very good man...I would use a more tactical approach and make him realise what he's giving up without boosting his ego and resulting to a trivial and demeaning behavior

 

A&T anything is possible and relatively easy when you put your mind to it.

[Malika]

^I believe the attitude of most Somalis in terms of viewing marriage[man or woman ],has contributed alot to the 'divorce rates' in our community,we are quite careless in our thinking.The amount of time,I have heard advice,that actually contribute to the breakage of a marriage is countless,its rare for us to advice anyone to stick to their marriages or struggles[not desparation]to find the ideal partner.

 

Perhaps fighting is the wrong word,but seeking, I mean actively seeking the man for you isnt something to be ashamed off.Marriage is half of ones imaan,so why not actively seek that half of your imaan?

[NGONGE]

Ibti,

I was going to offer her my brother (again) but that rascal seems to have given up on my skills and sorted himself with something or another(when a man spends hours talking on teh phone in the middle of the night, he must be up to something, right?).

 

I still say the sister should fight on. She's doing it right. DO NOT LISTEN to Ibti. Men are indeed worth fighting for.

[Chocolate and Honey]

May Allah reward your good deeds and accept your prayers Sis. Insha'llah be patient and content with what you have and Allah will not ignore your suffering because he is gracious and generous.

 

And like the sisters and brothers before me adviced, keep your eyes on the bigger picture which is leading a good life. MARRIAGE IS OVERRATED. It is not as wonderful, fullfuling and the end to all your misery card as fairytales might have you beleive but still I understand the need for a companion. Good luck, Hun. You're in my prayers.

[Buuxo]

Stop all the worrying sistah.You'll find the right person when Allah permits.

 

And may Allah give you what you desire,AMiin.

[Abtigiis]

C&H

 

Marriage is wonderful, and fulfilling. The hiccpus you face in it are part of the attraction. markaa, I can understand your intention in calming the sister down, laakin kuwa kale ha u been guurin. If it were you, you would probably have stood in a mosque and asked mid kaa ducaysta.

 

Speaking of ka ducaysi, must I repeat I am fond of in La ii ducceeyo.

[Buuxo]

^ I do too A&T .Laakiin ragga SOL duco lagama rabo, ee gacanta taaga.

[Ms DD]

Originally posted by Malika:

^I believe the attitude of most Somalis in terms of viewing marriage[man or woman ],has contributed alot to the 'divorce rates' in our community,we are quite careless in our thinking.The amount of time,I have heard advice,that actually contribute to the breakage of a marriage is countless,its rare for us to advice anyone to stick to their marriages or struggles[not desparation]to find the ideal partner.

 

Perhaps fighting is the wrong word,but seeking, I mean actively seeking the man for you isnt something to be ashamed off.Marriage is half of ones imaan,so why not actively seek that half of your imaan?

Preach on sista!

[cynical lady]

So if one doesn’t find a husband, one should blame god? And get depressed. Gosh it must be raining craziness in your world. Seriously woman get a hold of yourself and stop making your self so available/thinking of marriage day and night/ praying etc. believe me it all stinks of desperation and nothing good is ever going to come out of that. The more you chase, the more they run and according to you the more depressed you will get, so do yourself a favour and celebrate what you have instead of romanticising marriage its not all that’s cracked up to be.

 

p.s don’t fear spinsterhood embrace it.

[cynical lady]

p.s.s dont listen to Malika.

[Faarax-Brawn]

Originally posted by cynical lady:

So if one doesn’t find a husband, one should blame god? And get depressed. Gosh it must be raining craziness in your world. Seriously woman get a hold of yourself and stop making your self so available/thinking of marriage day and night/ praying etc. believe me it all stinks of desperation and nothing good is ever going to come out of that. The more you chase, the more they run and according to you the more depressed you will get, so do yourself a favour and celebrate what you have instead of romanticising marriage its not all that’s cracked up to be.

 

p.s don’t fear spinsterhood embrace it.

Or,you could just pray for the sister. Dua is amazing,you know?

 

Inshallah sister,allah is the best and he knows the best for you. keep praying and allah will reward you with a great man. may god give you a good guy

[Kamaavi]

Buuxo,

 

Habo waxaa ka qumanaan lahayd in gabdhaheena SOL ay garab istaagaan

waleesheen oo gacan ka siiyaan siday u heli lahayd nin fahmi

kara ama daryeeli kara.

 

Meeday markaad Qoolo, Haneefa iyo Aaliyah

u baahantahay.

 

Gabdhow idinka ayaa ku filan ama ku haboon in aad nin mudakar

ah u soo baadi goobtaan waleesheen gacana ka sii saan sidii ay ooga

bixi lahayd dhibka ay ku jirto.

 

Si gooni ah ula xiriira oo ka war haya halka ay wax u marayaan.

 

Originally posted by *Buuxo*:

^

I do too A&T .Laakiin ragga SOL duco lagama rabo, ee gacanta taaga.

Ugu danbeyntii, anoo dhibka walaasheen sheegatay dareensan

sida ugu fudud ee ay ooga bixi kartana dad badani hortay u

sheegeen ayaa hadana sir dumar lama sal gaaree waxaaba laga yabaa

in Amna ay tahay gabar xariir ah, gabdhaha noocooda oogu sareeya,

laakiin kaliya ay cashir culus oo lama iloowaan ah dhamaanteen

gaara ahaan raga SOL ay inoo dhigayso, haday saas tahay gacan iyo

lug ayaa marwalba ii taagan.

 

Intaasu waa iga kaftan ee Ragow ama Dumarow ha loo kala badiyo khayrka.

Wixi walaasheen loogu saacidi karo ha loogu saacido reer SOL nimo ahaan,

islaamnimoda iyo Somalinimada ka sokow.

 

Ps. Dear Amna listen to every one,

but always do what you're heart says.

[Indhoos]

CL, hopefully that reply up there is your attempt at tough love and you don't really mean that...

 

There are those who fear spinsterhood and would rather not meet it and may be Amna happens to be one who would rather not hit that point. I don't remember seeing any comment where she was blaming allah...

 

Amna darling, my first advice would be for you to think of your condition not as a "condition" but think of it as a part of the unique, amazing, blessed package that you are able to offer any lucky fella oo ilaahay calaf ugu daro.

Focus on the wonderful assets that you have, namely, your diin, imaan, sabr, and haya...Hana walwalin maxaa yeelay, ilaahay ayaa kula jiri doona insha allah...

 

You are now in my prayer and have been since I first read your post...

[Amna]

Thank you ones again to all of you. I don't think there is anything wrong with marriage, i think its beautiful and one of allah's blessings and it is part of islam and what is wrong in seeking something that allah made halal. With that said iam not desperate because desperate is someone who will jump in the marriage wagon with any guy who proposis to them, alhamdulilah i have not reached that level nor will i ever.I want to get married, but i also have set criteria, and if he doesn't meet that than its move on to the next potential, it happened many times. Jazallahu khair, i still appreciate for taking the time to say your two cent.