I am scared for my future

[Fabregas]

Originally posted by Amna:

Day and night all i think about is marriage, i have taken every avenue trying to find a husband to no avail. I don't know if guys are turning me down because of my condition or maybe allah is punishing me for reasons unkown to me even though since i was a teenager i practised and followed allahs commands so that i may earn his love. This is really making me so depressed. I wish allah would just give me sabr and eman if its not decreed for me to get married. Please brothers and sisters keep me in your duas.

Firstly, sis, a person being tested and afflicted with difficult times and things not going there way could be a sign of this person having high Iman and being favoured by Allah(swt). It is narrated BY Abu Huraira in a hadith that:

 

Allah's Apostle said, "If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." (Sahih Bukhari Vol 7, Book 70, #548)

 

The best of the peoples were none other than the prophets. Who was more tested and tried than the anbiya? And Muhamad(saw) was the best of creation, thus who was more tested than him and his companions? Also, know that in every act of patience, difficulty and testing there is an expiation of sin:

 

Narated By Abu Said Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that." (Sahih Bukhari Vol 7, Book 70, #545)

 

So, these trials, tests and difficulties are from Allah(SWT) and there is an immense reward for those who are patient. Allah(swt)says:

 

 

"Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return":- They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance. [Quran 2:155-157]

 

And Ibn Al qayyim said conerning the battle of uhud:

 

7. Allah(Almighty) has prepared for His believing servants positions in His Paradise which they cannot reach through their deeds; they will reach them only through difficulties and trials. So, He gives them the means to reach those positions in the form of problems and ordeals.

 

He continues:

 

8. When enjoying continuous health, wealth and ascendancy, human souls acquire an oppressive and impatient nature. This is a disease that hinders one on his journey to Allah(Almighty) and the Hereafter. So, when Allah(Almighty) intends to honour a soul, He gives it difficulties and hardships which serve as treatment for that disease, like a doctor who makes a patient drink a bitter medicine or removes diseased parts from him. And if he left him to his own wishes and inclinations, they would destroy him.

 

Indeed, it seems strange and weird that a person would be afflicted with difficulty and this could be sign of Allahs favours and guidance. This is exactly how the prophet described this affair:

 

" Strange is the affair of the Mu'min (the believer), verily all his affairs are good for him. If something pleasing befalls him he thanks (Allah) and it becomes better for him. And if something harmful befalls him he is patient (Saabir) and it becomes better for him. And this is only for the Mu'mmin." [Muslim]

 

 

Therefore, this testing is the testing of the people of iman, this is because it IS not befitting of the creation that they would claim to love Allah and then they will simply be left to utter this from their mouths without any actions to show for it. Allah says:

 

Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested?

 

Everyone is tested, some in apparent ways, some in not so apparent ways,whilst some do not even realise it and they are oblivious till their their end comes. Yet, to those who are patient ALlah(SWT) has given glad tidings. The famous story of that black women, that women of jannah,that patient women, from the hadith in bukhari comes to mind:

 

 

Ibn 'Abbas said to me, "Shall I show you a woman of the people of Paradise?" I said, "Yes." He said, "This black lady came to the Prophet and said, 'I get attacks of epilepsy and my body becomes uncovered; please invoke Allah for me.' The Prophet said (to her), 'If you wish, be patient and you will have (enter) Paradise; and if you wish, I will invoke Allah to cure you.' She said, 'I will remain patient,' and added, 'but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allah for me that I may not become uncovered.' So he invoked Allah for her." [al-Bukhari]

 

And reflect and ponder upon the story of Julaybib(RA), that small, but giant of a man and dear companion, who the prophet held in his own arms as he lay there martyred: http://www.qss.org/articles/julaybib/julaybib.html

 

So my advise to you( and probably all of us) is to not have bad thoughts about Allah, as this is the whisper of shaytan, the accursed. Allah says:

 

[Conspiracy is only inspired by the Devil, in order that he may cause grief to the believers; but he cannot harm them in the least, except as Allah permits; in Allah let the believers put their trust.] (Al-Mujadilah 58:10)

 

....... And lASTLY be patient:

 

Therefore be patient with a patience which is beautiful. (70:5)

 

And Inshallah, Allah will provide for you and all of us from sources which you could not imagine:

 

"And whosoever is conscious of Allah, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has sent a measure for all things." [65:2-3]

[Libaax-Sankataabte]

May Allah make it easier for you. Ilaahay muraadkaaga ha sahlo.

[Amna]

Ameen, ameen thumma ameen jazakallahu khair to all of you for all your duas and comments may allah bless you all in return with whatever good your hearts desire. This really helped me alot alhamdulilah, please continue to keep me in your duas insha allah.

 

As'salamu alaykum wa rahmatulah

[Naxar Nugaaleed]

stop looking and focus on what makes you happy

[Ashkiro]

I would just reiterate keeping yourself busy and focusing on other goals to keep your mind off of this one. And hopefully you are sharing your feelings with those that are most close to you. it’s never good to be isolated when your going through a tough time. Remember there are always others that are less fortunate than you. Ameen to all the dua’s. May Allah grant you happiness and your hearts content.

[Malika]

Originally posted by Amna:

Day and night all i think about is marriage, i have taken every avenue trying to find a husband to no avail. I don't know if guys are turning me down because of my condition or maybe allah is punishing me for reasons unkown to me even though since i was a teenager i practised and followed allahs commands so that i may earn his love. This is really making me so depressed. I wish allah would just give me sabr and eman if its not decreed for me to get married. Please brothers and sisters keep me in your duas.

Dear Sister,

 

Being persistance and determined is the only way to gain Imaan,sabr and the mercy of Allah. As a Muslimah my dear sister,you should understand not all we desire in this life is given to us,actually by being so focused on our desire we loose perspective of our purpose here,which is to soley worship Allah.

 

Believe me sis, I understand and hear what your saying,but be patient sis.Make dua and the will of Allah will be,Insha'allah.

 

Insha'allah Kheyn aan kuu rajeneyaa!

[Oz]

Amna, his somewhere on the corner, his a little slow.

 

Inshallah May Allah help you seek your long awaited partner. ameen

[Faheema.]

Anyone would think a major tragedy has accured. There are worse situations to be in walal ee Alhamdulilah dhe. There is more to life than getting married, when it's meant to be it will happen...in the meantime stop obsessing about it. Life is too short to be stressing about things you have no control of...Be thankful for what you have because you're blessed.

[NGONGE]

^^ She said she wants your duca, you witch. All the other stuff you wrote there is just noise (to her). Fix up and hope for your sister what you already have with your midget.

 

Amna,

You're going about it the right way, dear. There are too many of you women out there and only those that fight for it shall catch themselves good men. The rest will only keep making excuses about already having a full life or that things are not in their control, etc.

 

Do not listen to such defeatist arguments. Be afraid, be very afraid.

[Faheema.]

^LoL, so where's your duca, cajuus waaxid instead jar baad ka sii tuuraysaa feeding her nonsense and fighting for a man.

[Abtigiis]

Amna

 

You are a good girl. You are looking for a xalaal marriage and that is very good of you. I am touched by your situation. We pray for you. Insha allah, ku khayr qaba Allah ha ku siiyo walaal.

 

Faheema, wise words, but easier said than done.

[NGONGE]

Fahiima,

My duca was implied. I don't need to type it to show that I prayed for this fighting sister the minute I read her brave post.

 

By the way, what is wrong with fighting for a man? We fight for good jobs, good houses, good everything..so why not fight for a good man? Fight on says I. Unlike you, not every girl can easily land a rich midget.

[Malika]

^Nothing wrong with fighting or looking for a man indeed!The sister,just need to be patients and perhaps try a new avenue to the ones she had already tried.

 

ps.What has good man have to do with a rich man?@Ngonge

[Ibtisam]

LOOOL @ Land a rich midget!!! Ngonge you would be wrong there, something is happening, Somali men are suddenly challenged in the ight department, miid 5.7 thinks he is tall all of a sudden

 

There is something seriously wrong with fight for a man, good or rich or bad. They are not worth it.

[MZanzi]

Ngonge war ki yara meeye aad gabar walba kuxoq xoqeesay Why don't you wipe Amana down and hook her up...Rigooradan oo kale lama beerdareye