ladies, would you propose?

[Xoogsade]

Boolbaro, Sorry saxib, I just thought you were pulling my leg here. Okey, I will take back my comment. Thanks to the unlimited editing Option, It will be gone in a second.

 

I think the woman who named herself "Xoogsade" didn't know the Somali grammar very well. She can be forgiven for the blunder.

[Passion_4_Fashion]

Qacbaro walle hadii uu aniga nin iga sugaayo inaan guur weydiisto ilaahayow kaas qulqul ha igu dhaafo abootooy na furo. sharaftii ayeeyo yaalekeey baan meel uuga dhacayaa.

 

mar kale iigu soo celi, naag faraanti uma gelinaayi aa? wallee wax badan adna waa soo taagnaanee. waraa aaway baro family...quf kaa naxaayo ma jiro miyaa. aboowe kaalay imaaw UK aan ku ilbixiyee

[Buubto]

Asalaamu Aleikum wr wb

You guys are mixing up the western culture and Somali / Islamic culture. What is the knee and ring thing that u r obsessed with. Guur waa guur, do u think a diamond ring will prove how much he loves u? If you do damik khafiif walaahi, (you r brain washed). Money and material don’t buy true love.

 

The other thing, every relationship the girl is the main controller, that relationship will lead to whatever u want, weather is wasting time on dating or marriage. Don’t say I am waiting him to propose, when truelly u r the one who is giving him wrong signalls. If you set your grounds striaght right from the start, only a serious man who want marriage will stick around.

 

If it is on going relationship

Forget about who proposes who, first of all you should not be talking to a man if he doesn’t want marriage from you that is the bottom line. If you guys are talking then you should inform him that u want marriage not casual dating.

 

If u don’t know the man personally

If you don’t have open communication with the man, and you r interested in him, ouch then that is what I call a gutsy satiation. In that case u could either drop a hint to his close female relatives or write a letter to him. (I wouldn't do)

[Xoogsade]

Buubto, You wouldn't write a letter or drop a hint? markaa waano bixiso, lama dhaho anigana ma raacaayo waanadaan bixiyey. Hadalkaa is burinaayo.

[Qac Qaac]

aree persecuter reformer, far la buuxinayo ilbaxnimo uma aqaan, haddii aad rabtid in caloosha la buuxiyo (cunto) we cool. hadii kale ga' iga sii so atariisho, reero tabal caaro aan ahaye.

[Odd]

LOL you guys are funny walaahi. Faraanti iyo Jillib dhigasho kulahaa!!! :rolleyes: It's like the sister above said "Dhaqanki gaalada iyo keeni Islaamka ahaay aad isku qaseysiin" Alla mexey dad dhunsan yihiin. Dont get me wrong, but so many Somali has been brain washed and very fast welibo. Ilaahaa noo maqan hadaan maryooleey nahay.

[Curly]

Buuto is right, you wouldn't be in the situation of waiting for him to propose if you made it clear from that start that you're not a fan of casual dating.

 

As for the whole proposing, it’s funny that some people are left to resort to extreme measures like that and culturally I believe the idea of a women proposing to a man is frowned upon.

 

Though I know one girl who not only did just that but is still SINGLE but then again that was because she backed out, however with Somalis news travels fast and now she's stuck for offers and Mashallah she's very beautiful but I can't help but be amused when she's telling older women she needs a man! (All I can say is how brave is she???!!!!)

 

Sorry but I'm definitely not that brave I can't even tell my parents "I'm getting married" much less I go to that extreme of asking for a man, I'd sooner be a spinster for life!

[Juxa]

buubto well said sistah.

its not our dhaqan to jilbo jabsi, or buy diamond ring.

 

gabari waa tii 100 halaad laga bixin jirey, waalidkeed laga donan jirey, sharaf iyo ...

[NGONGE]

I find the modesty of Somali women amusing. The poor unsuspecting brothers fall for it too. Such sweet and innocent questions like “ Ladies, would you propose?†as if things are really that simple. As if the Somali women sit back and wait for a stubborn guy to get the hint and propose when he’s ready. As if it’s not them who really RUN the show and TELL you when you’re ready to propose. Usually, it’s the girls who propose. They do it by playing hard to get and words such as “ warya, maxad na mooday? Saaxiib, saaxiib anako ma naqaanâ€, She will not mention marriage but she’ll fix the boundaries, the trap for the poor unsuspecting Don Juan to fall into. A few lucky brothers manage to escape from the clutches of these black widows. The majority though, give up and in order to give their vulnerability some cloak of respectability, they propose! Trust me, it is really the women who propose first. They do it the minute they open the doors to that coop and lure the men in. they don’t call the institution of marriage The Golden Cage for nothing, you know. :rolleyes:

[Odd]

Originally posted by NGONGE:

I find the modesty of Somali women amusing. The poor unsuspecting brothers fall for it too. Such sweet and innocent questions like “ Ladies, would you propose?†as if things are really that simple. As if the Somali women sit back and wait for a stubborn guy to get the hint and propose when he’s ready. As if it’s not them who really RUN the show and TELL you when you’re ready to propose. Usually, it’s the girls who propose. They do it by playing hard to get and words such as “ warya, maxad na mooday? Saaxiib, saaxiib anako ma naqaanâ€, She will not mention marriage but she’ll fix the boundaries, the trap for the poor unsuspecting Don Juan to fall into. A few lucky brothers manage to escape from the clutches of these black widows. The majority though, give up and in order to give their vulnerability some cloak of respectability, they propose! Trust me, it is really the women who propose first. They do it the minute they open the doors to that coop and lure the men in. they don’t call the institution of marriage The Golden Cage for nothing, you know. :rolleyes:

NGONGE GOD bless you my brother, you just gave me the PERFECT idea for a perfect nick name :cool:

[Alle-ubaahne]

I personally appreciate for being a Somali man. I think my culture has lied out concrete principles and values for us to manage our affairs more decently and more respectfuly.

 

I believe, in my understanding for the Honorable Somali Culture, it is the obligation of the man to propose marriage for the girl, whereas the girl is expected to either agree for it or decline the offer, which is an undeniable right bestowed and reserved for them to exercise whenever they need to.

 

The question appears to be an attempt to overlook our culture by pushing a change to the long standing way of life. I think if, for instance, a Somali girl proposes me for marraige, I would not only decline it but consider it as a major voilation against my beloved culture.

 

Let's not forget the reasons that has undermined the value of marraige in the western sociaties are, among other things, the women proposing the marraige for men. To my culture or the culture of any good-meaning people is to shame for a girl to propose. Does our language fit in the first place to hear a girl saying, "Haa aboowe.... waxaan rabay ama jeclaa inaan kuu soo bandhigo inaan is guursano, sideey kula tahay?"

 

There must be something wrong with that. I think our respectable girls should avoid to falling in that trap; it is nothing but the meaningless exportation of the alien culture that is gradually diluting us to an extent of no culture.

 

Ibros, (Alle-ubaahne)

[Buubto]

Asalaamu Aleikum Wr Wb

Xoogsade

Arinta ma’aha hadii aan aniga shaqsiyan sameen lahaa iyo inkale, qofwaliba dooq ayuu leeyahay. waxaa un sheegay hadii ay gabari qabsato dhibatadaas sida hoboon ey ugu dabaalan laheed. Ma’aha in faraanti & jilbo jabsi lagalo. Khadiijo (radiyalaahu canhaaba) wey sameesay lakinse dariikhii habonaa ayee martay.

[Xoogsade]

Buubto , Okey Abaayo, Thanks for your enlightened reply.

[Tuujiye]

Buubto ilaaheey afkaaga caano baqay haka dhooro,

sidii diinleeyda camalna hakuu buubiyo.

 

Hala yaabin dadkaan abaayo magaalo joog xumo ayaa heyso.. Too much holleywoodation iyo shukaansi raqiisasetion..

 

Gabar hadii ee maanta sugeeso xariif koo u jilbo jabsado sidii baac tuugsanaayo, wee daalee. But the waxa wiilasha somalida ee kunaceen gabdhaha qaarkood ee ajanabiga raaca waa waxaan oo kale.

 

Shukhulkaan faraantigana muxuu ahaa taloo faraha ha idinka go'aan anaheenee..labo is qabto oo faraanti isku xiraayo, guur kooda qaala waqiila waaye. they don't trust each other and therefor it won't last because their is no real love.

 

 

wareer badanaa jiil jiilyashaan!!!

[Siman]

if the lady proposes, then, what is the next step? perhaps in ay reerkiisa kadoonto!!

Q would be: what he is doing? ma afkuu baruuro kuhaysaa? May be, if he has speech disabilities he can use her help!

 

man understand very well the traditional Dos and Do nots and the roles of the male vs the female regarding courship and many times use it as a leverage, Thf, if he is not asking the woman for marriage, it doesn't mean he needs little help/hint or hand from her, it simply means he doesn't want to. So if you ladies, find yourself leaning toward asking man to marry you(thoughtless thing to contemplate), the right thing is not to ask him for marriage but probably to drop him all togather.