Contacts.

[Mr. Somalia]

A policeman pulls over a woman and asks for her license. He looks at it for a second and tells her, "It says here that you should be wearing glasses."

 

"Well, I have contacts," the woman answers.

 

The policeman replies sharply, "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

[hodman]

^^ lol silly cop. I guess I better not wear contacts any more

[chubacka]

This one's bad too.

 

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

 

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

 

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.

 

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

 

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

 

She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

 

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

 

"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."