Nazra Posted March 14, 2003 "Ladies First" is a theory which is practiced by the western society. Yet we have so many somali muslim brotha's who follow this sick theory, which goes against our religion. Is it me, or have i become bit more religious??? You wouldn't see me complain about this, until i was on my way to my aunty's house, as i was entering the lift, this Sheik comes across and holds the lift for me and let's me enter first and ask me "which floor", i was shocked as a Sheik who should have known better, is actually just like the rest of the brotha's. How sad! I'm usually used to having iggnorant brotha's let me go first, god knows why...yet, this Sheik has sparked my mind. Now days, i am not comfortable about a brotha doing that, girls is it me or do you face this problem too? or is a natural thing? i must admit this WAS nothing to me, but this Sheik sitution has outline something new for me. :confused: And for the brotha's who do this as a constant habit, care to re-think, and not follow this western point of view to this matter. And how many times do you guys do this? Actually the islamic theory to this is ;"Gentlemen's First" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TIIMBARO Posted March 14, 2003 Hey Nasra what's happening sis? I really can't understand the problem with that nasra. If a man holds the door for you, isn't that what a real gentleman is suppose to do. Anyway I can't believe this is coming from you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted March 14, 2003 Nasra, how would you like to be treated, wronged and ignored? I don't think this ladies' first theory has anything to do with one cultural pattern, it is a common tendency which transcends religion or ideology. I can assure that every respectful and sensitive individual would use this term to symbolise his respect for any highly respectable woman. If you want to be swept aside and kicked around then thats a different issue. But this 'ladies first' theory actually is more religious than you might have thought. Islamically, we have to behave pleasantly towards our females, whether they are our mothers, sisters, aunts, wives or friends and so this 'ladies first' theory is part of behaving pleasantly. Anyone who has ever asked you "Ladies first" hasn't strayed out of the Islamic culture but he tried to upheld the culture itself. I don't know if your complaints relate to those females who believe in women ndependence. But respecting a woman doesn't make her dependant on anyone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted March 14, 2003 I honestly can NOT believe this is coming from a woman!!! I don't see anything wrong with a man holding or opening a door for me; I don't mind a man to wait for me til I get off the bus or elevator; nor do I mind any man who does anything out of respect cuz I am a lady... Stop this non sense you posted with it is against our religion for women to be first...There are certain things that a woman is to be first...If you don't like it, well TOUGH LUCK SISTER... Our religion might say men first, but I don't think it means leting men go on "lifts" first... Men First, pleaseeeeeeee...What did you want to do hold the "Lift" for the sheikh and wait for him to get on...Come on now... Ladies First...ALWAYZZZ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miriam1 Posted March 14, 2003 "Actually the Islamic theory to this is "Gentlemen's first" What do u mean by that? In a way I can understand where ur coming from Nasra, i hope i am not wrong but dont u mean that men should not be speaking or even looking at a woman who isnt a member of their immediate family.So u find the concept of a shiekh holding the elevator door and speaking to u shocking, yea i had the same experince when i just moved from here from the arabs. I came to the conculsion that in this country its more of a sign of respect and politness, than anyting else! And if u find it uncomfortable to be in the same elevator with a guy who is holding the door open for u and waiting, simply be polite and say its okay i will catch the next one or i am waiting for someone. Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyhem Posted March 15, 2003 WOW i DIDN'T KNOW SOME SISTERS WERE THAT MUCH RELIGIOUS.NICE TO KNOW ABOUT THAT. Anyway I did open the door for some sisters,but that again was when they were living in the building with a relative.U know how some somalis have no key to the building and they time u trying to enter the building,and if she is a pretty one u hold the door for her while u think about u'r next step like whats up wit ya,i mean u'r key? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conspiracy Posted March 15, 2003 LOOOL how many brothers do you have walaalo ? and damn i have to open the doors and wait for my girl to pass first so i could check her fine booty!!!just jokin babes but men need women thats why men have to treat women good! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Senora Posted March 15, 2003 Lol Shyhem, Well i dont have a problem with that. As far as it being against religion and all, yes it is true that women are inferior to men when it comes to the quran, but honestly, let's be serious here. Do you really take that action as being sinful or just an act of generosity? I've had people hold the elevator for me as well: men, women, and even kids! I also held an elevator or a door for a man and woman B4 when i see them coming. It's just common sense, "i KNOW this person is trying to catch the elevator, or get through the door, why not just hold it open until they come?" Lighten up girl, he's just being thoughtful. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Woman Posted March 15, 2003 Princess_sexy yes it is true that women are inferior to men when it comes to the quran??? Says who??? We're all equal in the eyes of Allah.. and nowhere in the Quran or haith does it indicate that women are inferior to men. Please don't translate Allah's ayats in your own words. I don't mean to sound harsh.. but its a big sin.. We have different responsiblities and our duties and rights have been given to us by our Prophet (PBUH) 1400 years ago. And our rights were not granted according to who's inferior or superior to whom. That is the mentality of the kuffar back in the day when they buried the female infants and kept the male infants. But alhamdulilah such acts are now abolished... Nasra... wow.. does it really bother you that much? lol I don't really see anything wrong with it.. And i didn't know that "Gentlemen First" was the islamic theory.. lol and "Ladies First" is not only a theory practised by the western world. And religious or not i think its very respectful towards women. But hey i guess we're all bothered by different things... 1 question though.. why were you shocked when you heard it coming from a sheikh as opposed to non-religious brothers? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted March 15, 2003 Lol Nasra Over-racting again :rolleyes: Politeness -- It really separates the boys from the 'gentlemen' men. The worst thing about going to Riwayads and arooses or anywhere Somalis hang is because there is lack of respect for the ladies... I mean where do you get of, brushing past a girl, trodding on her feet.... and then 'chat her up' moments later? Walaahi... no bun intended ... but our brothers can do with some how to be a 'gentleman' tuition! Gone off topic .. sorry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haneefah Posted March 15, 2003 God...that's like the most pathetic thing I've ever heard :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted March 16, 2003 I hate when people misintrepret acts of politeness. Like when people say excuse me I always say your excused. And then they look at me in horror and walk away shaking their head. :mad: :mad: :mad: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted March 16, 2003 Opps I meant to say it was just an act of politeness the Sheik was doing for you. Someone does something kind and people can't even apprecaite it...sheesh! Oppsies posted twice Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted March 16, 2003 sisters, one minute we are gettin cussed for not doin, then we are gettin cussed for doin, can we ever win????lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nazra Posted March 17, 2003 The results are not always to my liking. Call me narrow-minded or sensitive, but I have clearly outline the problem faced by many nomads in here, the thought of having many nomads against this theory, had actually made me double check “my theory”. “Ignored” and “wronged” ku lahaa, lolz… Check this out… My Scene To This Sheik Saneniro: As I walk into the building, near by the lifts I see a Sheik, bang! He says: Shiek: Asalamu Caleykum Sista Nasra: W/Salaam He enters the lift and doesn’t waste time and doesn’t wait for me, nor gain any sins, as we enter the lift, he politely asks “Sista, what floor” and I politely answer with “Floor Ten” How does that sound? Any lack of respect? Hell no, wronged? For what….ignored? yaa. You see, this is what I expect. Yet many brotha’s are keen to show there level ignorance. If a Simple Sheik has done, and applied “the ladies first” theory….what do u expect of many ignorant and arrogance somali brotha’s. Jamaal; I ain’t asking to be swept around nor kicked around, I’m simply asking brotha’s to drop the western acts. “Behaving pleasantly” now tell me, what do u gain out of this “so called poiltness act”? it’s not like that Sheik is ever gonna see me again, (hope not) or I might have to re-train him, on my small knowledge that his missing on. Kool-Kat; back to the topic, you seem to lose the plot there, “respect” yaa….walahi I don’t see any respect if a man does let a women pass by….for heaven’s sake…it’s just a pass,,,,how can it represent repect?uuuuuf :rolleyes: The only man who should perform this task if Ur man,,,ladies and gentlemens….i’m talking about “HUSBANDS” don’t be quick to assume boy/girl-friends. “our religion might say men first, but I don’t think it means leting men go first in the lift”looooool@Kool-Kat Jawahiir, Sista glad to see you walking two steps behind me, let me fill you in sista. The gentlemen theory is based on the islamic teachings, which forbid men to walk behind a women and that men should lead first, you know sista…this men don’t think with there brains, some so called testestrone hormones control them. eg: this Sheik incident proves it. “Gone of the topic” ku lahaa..sista you managed to cover some basis that needed to be touched. “lack of respect at riwayads and arooses” what the….. the main problem start here with me……and continues in the my daily live. Nafisa: I can only ridicule with laughter. SOS, busted….not in the mood to “aka” U. Northerner, what a good question brotha…..But the answer releys on the books that sit on shelves. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
