Can we be “Just Friends”?

[Mr_Liquid_Ice]

Who said there is no attraction between "Just Friends"??? Since we can't be friends with every Caasho/Farax we meet or wants to become our friend there MUST be attraction between those who form friendships. In my humble opinion, you can only be attracted to those who share your interest, dreams, experiences and so on to make the bond of friendship. We bring them into our world, share our private thoughts, and always feel comfortable to be around.

 

Friendshi has to be based on loyalty, equality, and respect. Friends are equal, and without equality, you can't have a close friendship. Someone who wants you as a lover might settle for "just friends" for a while, but that person will never become a true friend as long as his/her needs are not met. Friends are loyal and trustworthy because no one can confide in someone they can not trust to be loyal and to keep his/her secrets.

 

I avoided the word "plotonic" intentionally in hopes of focus on our own perspectives as somali, but I guess we also identify ourselves with the cultures we live in. Therefore what about a platonic friendship with non-somali? I believe our value system is so important to us that our friends' values must be close to our own or we will not have respect for them. It goes further to overcome all the social obsticles such as racism. Infact many Somalis will see themselves as above avarage for having a friend that is not form his tribe. Sad but true.

 

Thanks Legend of Zu, sMiLeY, Shiish, Maandeeq, Scorbion_sista, Ameenah, Pretty boy, Lefty, The Rock's Chick, Fu'aad, Magnoona-girl, Wiilwaal, x_quizit, Muna, CANBARO-LUUL, and Mysterious for your your contributions. I indeed learned a lot from this subject since starting this thread...

[Mizz-HurriCane]

THERE IZ NO SUCH A THING AZ JUST FRIENDZ..

 

FI AMAAN ALLAH

[Ariadne]

friendship between men and women can work but there has to be no attraction to begin with because then the friendship is ruined by the attraction...thats my two cents anyway

[Hibo]

yes a guy and a girl can be just friends that is only if they want to be.But the thing i can't understand is and the ladies have to go with me on this one is when u tell a somalian guy "lets just be friends" they don't get it when a girl says that to a guy it means we are cool but u can't tell me who to date and not to date right right

 

this is 4 the guys when a girl brakes up with u and she says lets be friends why yall start to act up and it is not all guyz

:rolleyes:

[QuruXley]

i don't think that a guy and a gurl can be friends. i have a lot of male friands and everytime is tha same story. we get attracted to eachtother. like my baby now he was my bestfriend for like 2 years and in da beginning their was nothing between us. we saw eachtoher as friends he had his gurl and i had my man. but as you get to know eachother u find out that he got too much sexappeal to leave him alone and byside learn to trust him and like yall know a gurl needs a manshe can trust. and i know he has respect for me and he will do anythang for me so why not?

 

what i trying to say is a friendship always ends in a relationship as far as i know

[Honesita]

I so agree with The Rock's Girl........males and females r meant to be together or without each others.......even though i have a number of male friends......but at some point like TRC said, i had a crush on them or they came out of the closet with their feelings for me........!!! I had this really close friend of mine, the guy got married and i was expectin' our relationship to weaken a little.....instead we became closer...till oneday he told me he loved me more than his wife but couldnt do anythin' about it cuz he's married and i had a boyfriend...!!! Walaahi i was shocked....i felt terrible cuz i imagined myself bein' in his wife's shoes.....we stopped talkin' for like months, and now he's divorced...!!!

When it comes to my baby's female friends.....i'm not easy about it but i dont show it at all.....i'm sure it kills every woman to see her boyfriend befriendin' another woman.......!!! I'm also sure its worse for men to see thier girl bein' close to another guy as a friend....!!!

Another thing with our culture is that it aint common for us to have a friend of the opposite sex...so pple talk when they see a guy and a girl bein' close, even if the guy and the girl consider each other to be 'just' friends.....!! So if u have a close fe/male friend, and u have a b/g-friend at the same time, just be ready for the gossip that is diffinitely gonna burn ur parter when they hear about u and the fe/male friend.....!!!

 

Ameenah.......i was a tomboy too when i was younger, but i still had some sort of a secret crush on a close guy-friend of mine....!!! So walaashiis.....Clean Out Your Closet.....lol....!!!

 

Salaamz

[sYric-STiPHuLLa]

platonic

misonic

ironic;..

 

what is ya'll talking about..all this freindship things.u got a lil bit of female in ya if you can maintain A proper "freindship" with a girl.."U PROLLY GOT MORE BALLS THAN ANY OF US"

RESPECT TO ALL THOSE DUDES I ALWAYS WONDERED ABOUT BACK in high school ALL THOSE "best freinds of grls guys" i understand NOW its' hard work and you guys maintain GOOd cover ""

 

we all play tha game those grls best freinds guys are usually trying hard as hell to get TO the point of conviction with a grl..expressing emotions etc.the only difference is those "BESTFRIEND" peeps run they game in a span of years usually between 1-5yrs..

 

Ladies if you were freinds with a guy for a year and suddenly "lost touch" GOOD JOB his mission failed!!!!!he bailed>>hit the eject button!!!!!!he wasn't your freind"

.I DON'T BELIEVE A guy be best freinds with a girl.>"he working undercover" lol

i stole my bestfreinds grl..he stole mine :mad: ...

freindship burdendship who NEEDZ EM>>

 

seriously tho...THERES many different schools of thought on that topic QUESTION is which one

 

islamiclly >>> NIGGA PLEAZE!!!!

 

SOMalian culture says "What IS THIS PLATonic FREIND u speak of"?(conFUSED)

 

somalian western culture says: Why not AFTEr all we need all the support we can get.(IT'S BEEN A hard days work don't'cha'know_ _)

 

i say: grll take yo issues elsewhere IF I NEEDED THE NAGGING i would work as a secretory for Hillary clinton

 

P.S note: love and emotional attachment is always tempting specially in those times of need sad days and such what do you do? u go to your freind if you freind happens to be one of the opposite sex...the "dont worries it'll be okay" will turn into physical touches "hugs e.t" in a moment of emotion like this THE HUGS and touches LAST LONGEr>>.which means MR.BONDS OF THE SAN FRANCISCO "GIANTS" HAS A chance for homerun and who knows they could get married after that and win the world series..lol...PEACE

one1LOVEluv

[B_A_L_L_E_R_Z]

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL NO

 

ITZ A BIT LIKE LOOKIN AFTER THE KEYZ OF UR FREINDS BMW,,AN THEY TELL U DONT DRIVE IT,,,

OF COURSE U GONNA DRIVE IT,,SOON AS THEY LEAVE THE DOOOR, BUT ME,,MAYBE IF SHE LOOKED A BIT OFF KEY,,BUT IS SHE WAS GOOD LOOKIN I CANT CONTROLL MY SELF

[Captivating_SouL]

a female and a male being strickly friends' i doubt it. Ractionaling speaking' everyone judges one anotha firsly on looks(and if you say no, than you're obviously lying to yourselve)- and shortly afta, when you figure out the otha person isnt willing to connect with you on that level, you choose to be friends. Yes i do have guy friends which i kick with but not as much as my girl friends, you can't tell me you can share same amount of time as you do with your boyz, girls with the opposite sex...cuz really emotions are to develope sooner or later...so if you sayin... a guy and a girl can be friends in the sense of less communciation than oppose to your home girls n boyz than i agree....

one xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Dalni]

Yes, I wonna be Joe, do want to be Jennifer anitson?

[TIGRENOIR]

I think that there's nothing wrong with beeing friends with a young lady, the best person to ask an Advice when it comes to womens is ur Lady friend.

 

Peace

[yoniss]

you guys must be kiddin.male and female can never be just friends unless one of them is gay. c'mon guys!!!

[BlueSky]

To be “Just A friend “ to an attractive woman, that’s hard for me. A friend to me is a person that you have a good contact with, I mean call, do thing together, talk with laugh with. You can call every one a friend there are people you just know because they nice or you see them a lot and that can be from the other sex. But I don’t call them friends.

[Khayr]

'LET'S BE FRIENDS'

The worst words that can come out of the opposite sex's lips because that is soooo insulting to the other person's intelligence.

If you don't like them, just tell them and tomorrow they will heal.

Women and Men can't be Friends POINT BLANK!

I have some female acquantinces whom I talk to and thats all they are.

The more time you spend with the opposite sex and if alone too, then you start to think 'Why isn't that person attracted to me physically, since we are so combatible mentally? It's the Shaytan playing these tunes to you and either you end up

getting 'between the sheets' with them or you brake away.

[SoMeOnE To LoVe Me]

This is is a tough question but my opinion as a girl is that it only works out when the guy is completely ugly to ur taste!! Then it is easy to be freinds coz there's no attraction. but be careful that the guy doesnt fancy you coz then u need to set him stright from the begining otherwise he will always flirt and think about you in teh wrong ways when ur together.

 

I think that you will know when a guy is ur true freind coz he'll ask you to do things like set him up with ur freinds. When a guy tells you that he's feelling frisky! Coz again he trusts you.

He wouldnt do that if he had a crush on you!!

 

You will know when a guy is ur freind when he doesnt impress himself when he;s with you, you will know when a guy is ur freind when he tells you that he's still a virgin, the list goes on and on, and i know coz all of the above things has happened to me and these boys are one of my good freinds.

 

I also beleive boys make better freinds than than girls. Thats just my opinion.I can trust boys more than I can trust girls!!

what do u guys think!!