Juxa Posted August 2, 2003 salaaaam all, sis Ameenah this was truely interesting article which reflected closely at what is happening within the somali community in Europe, specially in london. the article mentioned few of the problems faced at married couples and how hard it is to adopt into this western world. i think the main problem is confusion, mixing religion with culture, and the inability of many couple to separate the traditional roles of men and women. it is true that back home most men were the providers, and women had all the time to tend to the children and the home. things have changed, but it is a choice, to make it for better or for worse. as a women i believe that women should chase their dreams, as many sisters mentioned above there is nothing wrong with been feminist, but it should not be at the cost of your marriage. i think everything can be compined, ambition and good marriage, but there is a limit and i found many women cross the line, making the man inadequate. i dont have to stress the importance of the religion, ilaah raaliyo hanaga dhigo, nin qeyr qaba oo wax garad ahna hanoo sahlo finally i would like to tell my sisters, that we all should do our best to give our kids good and secure upbringing 'ie a father', ayuuto iyo aroos la aado it is not gonna make them happy. may god show us the right path. Ask yourself, do u really want your man inuu jiko kula galo, adigoo caafimaad qabta,,,,,,if u sick, pregnant it is understandable,,,,the whole household thing does not take more than 2 hours, saxan bariis la karsho iyo sariir la hurgufo, marmarsiyo ma ahan :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A7LA-SHU Posted August 2, 2003 Originally posted by flying-still: I think the whole problem stems from the fact that women don't think that what they do at home has any importance. The truth is no man on the face of this earth can do what we do at home. Taking care of the kids, the house the husband...thats alot to deal with. We can survive in the men's world but they can't survive in ours...thats just a fact. I don't think that a women who goes out and gets a career is better than a women who stays at home...its just a matter of personal choice. Raising those kids could be the most imortant thing you will ever do in your life...thats just something we need to keep in mind. These western countries are built so that you have to choose between a career and a family? Why should I have to choose? Why can't I have both and succeed at both of them? We all need to realize that marriege is a partnership...you make decisions based on what is good for the family unit not the individual. flyin still i hear ya. and couldn't said it better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valenteenah. Posted August 2, 2003 Ameenah, Nefertiti, flying-still and juxa... There was so much wrong with that article that I really didn't know where to start or what points to address, but as I should have known ( :rolleyes: ) you girls picked up on all the most important points and responded more brilliantly than I ever could. Mansha'Allah. I happen to agree with all of you. Thank you for adding several new dimensions to my thoughts on this complex topic. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AalTo Posted August 2, 2003 SALAAM. SHARE UR WIFE WHAT EVER MAKES HER HAPPY..IF SHE IS NICE PERSON ..MAY BE SHE DOESN'T LET U COOK WHEN SHE CAN .. I LIKE TO COOK BUT STAYING AT HOME AND DO MY WIVE'S DUTY IS SOMETHING I CAN'T DO ANYMORE. BY THE WAY UR WIFE MUST STAY AT HOME..SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO DO ANY OTHER ACTIVITIES THEN SHAQADA GURIGA..LAKIN SHAQA AYAAN ADAAA MARKA TIMAADO AYAAN IMANAA LABA NIN MIYAA NAHAY. I DO NOT LE T MY WIFE TO STUDY..WHY DOES SHE NOT STUDY BEFORE (GUURKA)AND WHO TAKE CARE OUR KIDSSSS... AMEENAH : FILINKEEDA MA U BEGIN Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted August 2, 2003 Barwaaqo your welcome Ameenah, Nefertiti, Athena,and juxa..are very well spoken and articulate sisters...hats off to y'all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AalTo Posted August 2, 2003 AGA RAALI NOQO AFARTAANN ERAY BARABUR AA TIRISAY MIYAA? Qaabiil markuu baxay Kama tagin wax qaali ah Danbi iyo qurgooyiyo Dhiig iyo qab mooyee!? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nefertiti Posted August 2, 2003 Flying still, Barwaaqo,Juxa and Athena - tanag yuu fery fery much . Sisters I adore your views and opinions aswell. Well done and keep up the good work!! VIVA SOMALI WOMEN!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted August 2, 2003 Originally posted by AalTo: AGA RAALI NOQO AFARTAANN ERAY BARABUR AA TIRISAY MIYAA? Qaabiil markuu baxay Kama tagin wax qaali ah Danbi iyo qurgooyiyo Dhiig iyo qab mooyee!? Ani ma tirin ...I got it off a website...those words spoke to me. Nefertiti--- thanks hon...its nice to see so many strong willed somali sistahs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wardi Posted August 2, 2003 judge me, i work, i stop by grocery store doing shopping, take dirty clothes to laundry room. after work when i get home i am dead looking place to rest..sometime my wife sends me back to grocery store never said ooh no iam tired b/c of these reason, in the morning when iam leaving to work my wife she is already up, at nite when iam going to bed she still up,,,,,,guess what she is doing in between those hours.walaahi she doing more then 14 hours work,, when it come to marriage i give credit to somali woman, the respong you give about this article i see so many smart ladies i wish i known you guys so i can personelly hook you up good friends of mine looking for good woman as you are, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nefertiti Posted August 2, 2003 ^^^ Wardi, wow, am I reading right? A somali bro commending us? :eek: :eek: :eek: I am truly shocked!! Thank you, you are obviously a good and smart man, your wife is lucky! Keep up the good work, and feel free to fill us in on those good men you know!!! *points at herself* . Flying-still, anytime sis, If we don't stick together what will become of us? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nelstar Posted August 2, 2003 Ok see I grew up in a more 'liberal' house. My dad cooked (when in the mood) and uhmmmmmm… ok so it wasn’t THAT liberal but my dad would generally muck in whilst making sure all of us knew just cos HE was doing it didn’t mean that other men would do it too. My mum was and still is militant, believes men should do their share of the housework, but always does the work. She always told us not let no man rule us whilst perfuming my dad's fave macawes (don’t mind the spelling) so yeah she probably enjoyed it. As for me, I genuinely believe the woman is the queen of her castle, and her man should be treated like a king and vis-a-vas. And yeah I’m in general agreement with underdog, lets not complicate matters. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
king_450 Posted August 2, 2003 Since some of us came to the Western World, we somehow mingling b/w our Relegion and Western World society, we as muslims must always stay clear about the nonsense we are showing around. A Muslim women whether you are Somali Muslim or for that matter any other, Must be Obedient to Her Husnad, yes She must be Obedient to her Husband,and must show him at all time Respectfull toward him and is eager to please him and make him happy.And she must not complain about "HOUSEWORK" please him and make him happy. If he is poor, she does not complain about his being unable to spend much. She does not complain about her housework, because she remembers that many of the virtuous women in Islamic history set an example of patience, goodness and a positive attitude in serving their husbands and taking care of their homes despite the poverty and hardships they faced. One of the foremost of these exemplary wives is Fatimah al-Zahra', the daughter of Muhammad (PBUH) and the wife of `Ali ibn Abi Talib (RAA). She used to complain of the pain in her hands caused by grinding grain with the hand-mill. Her husband `Ali ibn Abi Talib said to her one day, "Your father has brought some female slaves, so go and ask him for one of them to come and serve you." She went to her father, but she felt too shy to ask him for what she wanted. `Ali went and asked him to provide a servant for his beloved daughter, but the Prophet (PBUH) could not respond to those who most dear to him whilst ignoring the needs of the poor among the Muslims, so he came to his daughter and her husband and said: "Shall I not teach you something that is better than that for which you asked me? When you go to bed at night, say `Subhan Allah' thirty-three times, `Al-hamdu lillah' thirty-three times, and `Allahu akbar' thirty-four times. This is better for you than a servant." Please read the followings One of the foremost of these exemplary wives is "Fatimah al-Zahra'", the daughter of Muhammad (PBUH) and the wife of `Ali ibn Abi Talib (RAA). She used to complain of the pain in her hands caused by grinding grain with the hand-mill. Her husband `Ali ibn Abi Talib said to her one day, "Your father has brought some female slaves, so go and ask him for one of them to come and serve you." She went to her father, but she felt too shy to ask him for what she wanted. `Ali went and asked him to provide a servant for his beloved daughter, but the Prophet (PBUH) could not respond to those who most dear to him whilst ignoring the needs of the poor among the Muslims, so he came to his daughter and her husband and said: "Shall I not teach you something that is better than that for which you asked me? When you go to bed at night, say `Subhan Allah' thirty-three times, `Al-hamdu lillah' thirty-three times, and `Allahu akbar' thirty-four times. This is better for you than a servant." The true Muslim woman devotes herself to taking care of her house and husband. She knows her husband's rights over her, and how great they are, as was confirmed by the Prophet's words `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH): "Who has the greatest rights over a woman?" He said, "Her husband." She asked, `And who has the greatest rights over a man?" He said, "His mother."12 A woman came to ask the Prophet (PBUH) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, "Do you have a husband?" She said, "Yes." He asked her, "How are you with him?" She said, "I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me." He said, "Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell."13 so as you can see , we can't ignore our teaching and examples our Prophet (PUH) taught us, so please come down to earth and realize that all these Western way of life want bees for once to see the grass in the side, good luck , and respect. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted August 3, 2003 Wardi walaal gacan baan kuu taagay... Its nice to see a somali brother who is proud of helping his wife out. And thank you for recognizing all that we somali women do for our families. We do realize that there are many somali brothers that are real men and that do take care of their families and help out around the house. That just goes to show you that in a marriage there shouldn;t be any defined roles...when things need to get done it doesn't really matter who does it. 1luv Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted August 3, 2003 Originally posted by Nefertiti: Flying still, Barwaaqo,Juxa and Athena - tanag yuu fery fery much . Sisters I adore your views and opinions aswell. Well done and keep up the good work!! VIVA SOMALI WOMEN!! lol, I second that girl. I really do Also, wardi make that two brothers, or ama share Nefertities lol Magnoona, I respect your view sis, in fact I think it is ideal but society doesn't always allow it. I was just really shocked by the don't have babies at all remark :eek: It is all good though, I understand where you were coming from now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted August 3, 2003 Originally posted by Ameenah: Also, wardi make that two brothers, or ama share Nefertities lol lool I'm sure he would be more than happy to be shared by the two of you!! Wardi if you got any spare friends when you get done feeding Nefertiti and Ameenah...then send them/him my way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
