Not house keepers anymore .......

[Blessed]

Salaamz people,

 

I've read this article a while back and it sort of got me thinking about Somali Women here and back at home in Somalia. Is the case really as the lady in the article states mise inantu wey ku yara dareysaa?

 

Share your thoughts ya'll. I'll share mine later

 

 

 

 

Not House Keepers anymore

[SomeAlien]

i dont know. do somali men really find the idea of sharing housework insulting? cause my dad can cook, and taught me how to ride my bike n all of that stuff. i mean, i wouldnt call the housework 50/50, but my dad, and most of my uncles, dont treat their wifes like their personal servants, (and theyre yr typical "mans man") and thats what this article was kinda implying, that somali men want their women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and these women got to escape that horrible life as well as their husbands, pfffffft.

 

i have a question though, is this why so many men participated in the war? because they wouldnt be seen as "manly" if they didnt kill for their tribe?

[Faheema.]

Ameenah. I must say this is a very interesting article… (Like the picture)

Thanks for sharing it with us…but what took you so long?? lol..kidding

 

Back in Somalia, the commitment to marriage was so strong that divorce was practically unheard of. But migrants to Europe found that the new culture meant that they faced rigorous challenges. Marriage became less valuable.

I couldn’t agree with it more, true statement. From the time Marriage becomes “less valuable” to a married couple, then you’re looking at disaster.

 

As to who was to blame, women or men, interviewees split on gender lines: 70% of the women blamed men’s failure to adapt to the new environment; 74% of the men blamed either the host culture, or the women for adapting to it.

Pointing the finger, it’s a same old story.

 

Although the article was semi-true, I don’t agree with her, she’s exaggerating a lot. Most Somali men (those who were raised back in Somalia) have had a different lifestyle ever since they could remember and you can’t expect to change them over night… Come on lets be realistic Somali men are hard headed and if they had it easy back home then it’s they way they were brought up. I am not saying that is a good thing but you have to understand that it’s hard for those who was raised in Somalia to be able to adapt to this so called “western lifestyle” as easily as the woman.

 

You can lead a horse to a water but you can't force it to drink.

 

Wallahi, sometimes waan la yaabaa dumarka waxaa soo kale ku hadla, yes be feminist if you must, be very much outspoken / opinionated and be heard, but whatever you do don’t loose your values and fundamentals and most of all your religion, idolizing kufaars aakhiro waxba kaama tarayo ee diintaada ku noqo if you want guidance in any aspect of life.

 

Personally I don’t mind if he doesn’t know how to cook, clean or do the ironing, as long as he is considerate and willing to help when he can and able to, then there is no problem. However, if he is no good for nothing lazy type qaadholic saqbadhle then is all about showing him where the exit is, marriage is a partnership, not sole trader?

[Miriam1]

Ofcourse tis a tradtion of almost every islamic nation for the woman to stay home and the man to bt the breadwinner, its not only exculsive to somalis and we cant generlise like that, i believe that if a man is a real man...he wont take these boundaries set by our society too seriously,because he is able to already define himself clearly as an individual and his certian postion in the household..so this type of man will see no harm in doing housework and helping his wife out or allowing her to work, non of these actions would threaten his manhood...

 

One more thing i found wierd is how she kept on implying that somali women were dying to leave thier culture and become european..or did i misread that.

[nomadrebell]

this is really sick very sick article..very degrading really. i'm not surprised though since i know western media specially the uk and usa like to go the extra mile to find the bad side of our community and to even suggest islam is to blame....which is not true....blame somali culture not islam..sometimes you would think their media copy each other in their race to damage the islamic community....i watched enterview of this bangaladeshi woman..a writer. a muslim..who wrote ugly book about islam and her bangaladeshi culture...now a somali woman or women.doing this propaganda..

[mangalool]

asalaamu caleykum dhamaantiinba.

bismilaahi raxmaani raxiim, rabaa mahadle.

waa dood furan wanaagsana, run ahaantii waxaa layidhi wax is weydiini maxumee wax is weydarsi baa daran, hadaynu eegno dhaqan ahaan waxaad moodaaa in ninka oo guriga ka shaqeeya ma caruurtiisa ciyaarsiiya ama hayaa ay ceebtahay, waana ay nagu adagtahay run ahaantii , hadiise uu cudur daar jiro oo markaa ay gabadhu kaa xanuun sanayso ama aadan ciidan kale lahayn waa ok, waayo waa reerkaagii laakiin iyadoon ilaahay ku badin gabadhaaduna ay wacan tahay qadada ukari! , malaa waa xaajo ugub ah , hadaaad dib u eegto somalidu siday ubadan tahay waa reer guuraaa ama reer miyi ama beeraley, mana laha jiko ama meel wax lagu kariyo hadaba sideebay uugu suura gelaysaa inuu ninku qadada kariyo? iyada oo aanay jirin meel ukhaasa oo cuntada lagu kariyo oo asturta, noloshan cusub ee hada lagalay ama dadka badidiisu u hanqal taagayo,(westrenka ah) maaha mid aynu la jaan qaadi karno ama ka shidaal qaadan karno sababo ama duruufo jira aawadood, tusaale ahaan waad aragteen in hablaha iyo wiilasha sida aynu ubadanahay qol lawada seexiyo, sababao dhaqaale aawadeed,,,yaanan kabixin maqaalka e waa 2walbaaba siday isu fahanto, koleyba anigu waaban karinlahaa malaa? ciyaar siin lahaa caruurtayda,inkastoon weli diyaar ahayn, waxaase ka horeeya sida aanu isu fahano aniga iyo marwadaydu, hadii wanaag jiro wa ok , hadii kale waa mid subxaanalaah, .

koleyba anigu dhaqanku siduu ahaan jirey ayaan jeclaan lahaa in lagu wada noolaado haweenkana aan lagu xadgudbin. raguna waa danta guud haweenkuna waa danta guriga,wada tashiguna waa furan ayahay, inlaga wada tashado arimaha reerka,maadama isku meel wax loo wado.

wabilaahi towfiiq.

[A7LA-SHU]

all i can say is she is sick and need help.. aye what is wrong with takin care of ur kids and stayin home? i don't know what drug she on. but i would be more than happy to stay home and take care of my kids play around with them, teachin them quran, dress them up.. and as long as he brings the money home. i'll stay home and treat him like king..

 

and i hear this from alot of wacko somali ladies why do they think they are treated like slaves, if she stays home? my mom was house wife and to this day she wouldn't trade dat with anything.. and all she did was make sure her kids are doing the right thing. while ladies who think workin and runnin around like chicken with out head loss their kids to drug and gangs. that is lame. :rolleyes:

 

i just have one lil advice for them ladies who think she wanna work and all that blah blah. don't get married easy as dat.. and most importantly don't have kids please. :mad: :mad:

[Adna]

salaam

 

 

I couldn't agree more than mwhat magoonagirl said, sis maa sha'alaah weel said. i know there are some few families still have their golden culture, but allahayow dadkeena soo hanuuni specially women subxaanan laaah. me can't wait to be house wife and run after my babies yaa heli karo runta ha'laisku sheegee, maxaa yeaalya i know what shif and work is like i'hve worked somany yrs and yet not become millioner yet. why can't we stay hoome and baby sit? yaa rabi, i will be like what my mom was, even thought i have to cauch up with school.much love

[qoslaaye]

Prophet Mohammed (scw) used to help his wives at home, and he was the best of all. those guys who feel not to share the work at home, remember our prophet and fellow him ok.

Most of our problems are from our somali culture which most of the time has nothing to do with our islamic religeon.

Women should slow down and men should remember allah in that way we will have a good somali family. When people get married they should not behave like do this and do that. they are sharing life why not housework so simlier things.

I dont get that.

[Changed]

ama have to agree with Shayma...

....she is on ceyr(welfare) if she want the man to clean and cook with her she should have taken the first step and gotten her self a job now that is a western view we all need to follow....she wanted to go around and gossip while mr cali did th cleaning and cooking..

i think men should help with cleaning if its required but in her case its not required .if she would have gone to school like she said she wanted to it would have made sence but the article did not say she was a student..and where does she go around calling herself a feminist :eek: ..feminist dont say women should gossip and make the men clean.she generalised all men too.my dad did not like cleaning but my uncles clean and cook for us and their wives , i think it all depends on the persons personality

there is nothing wrong with cooking for ur husband and kids

 

he was wrong to hit her ......now that is one tradition we should not keep

[Valenteenah.]

Amina Shakur appears to be a dataqle. She undermined all her valid points about Somali marriages in the diaspora with remarks such as "Somali men should accept the European way of life". What European way of life? :rolleyes:

[Raxmah]

Asalamu alaikum

 

The article generalized the issue too much, becuase for few ppl who have no faith and need for their culture, doesn't mean that all somali ladies want to adapt to this misleading western society.

 

Walahi all they are after is giving us a bad image as muslims and Somalis, and we sure are letting them.

 

It takes 2 to make a marriage work. Personally I would hope my man to be helpful as much as he can, but when it comes to working outside the house if he can take care of his family, why should I work. I personally wouldn't care if he cant cook, just giving attention to his children, and teaching them would be good enough.

[Macalin]

Somali men should accept the European way of life". What European way of life?

Barwaqo, Exactly!..what euro LIFE is she Talking ABT?-i need to know 2

 

The Lady looks like she has a distorted version of divorce, i mean that is not many reasons why many soms divorce however its alarming the rate @ which soms are divorcing...maybe they should consider not marrying at all

 

If its true that he HIT her, then it aint cool to hit a WIFE!..period

 

Ameenah, stop reading this weired articles

[nomadrebell]

the wrongs of few does not make the whole community a bad community..i think somalia as well as countries in the islamic ummah have lower much lower divorce rate than non muslim countries specially the west. its a fact.

[-Serenity-]

The article is full of BULL. Keeping that aside, I think Magnoona girl should get her head out of the gutter and stop trying too hard to please :rolleyes: