Is a HOUSEWIFE really unemployed?

[nafta]

Assalaamu Caleykum

 

Is a HOUSEWIFE Really Unemployed

 

Many women to day are independent, successful, educated, professional, and self-sufficient. These are the standards whereby we measure "success" and people with these characteristics are what we regard as "intelligent" as opposed to "uneducated." However, careful analysis reveals that the woman of the house fulfills the following roles:

 

1. She has to be a wife to her husband.

 

2. She has to be a mother to her children.

 

3. She is a teacher, teaching her children between right and wrong.

 

4. She is a tutor, assisting with homework.

 

5. She is a psychologist, using her intellect in daily struggles with husband and children.

 

6. She is a counselor, counseling the children when a bully hits them.

 

7. She is a financier, budgeting the household expenses.

 

8. She is a chef, preparing the meals.

 

9. She is a baker, baking on special occasions.

 

10. She is a tailor, mending clothes.

 

11. She is a driver, ferrying the kids to and from school.

 

12. She is a buyer and store clerk, ensuring that all basic necessities are in the house.

 

13. She is a switchboard operator, answering the constantly ringing phone.

 

14. She is a receptionist, answering the door and receiving guests and visitors.

 

15. She is a waitress, feeding everyone at mealtime before she feeds herself.

 

Considering the above multi-faceted roles of our wives/mothers/sisters in society, it really surprises me when a woman is asked what job she has and her typical reply is "Oh, I don't work. I just sit at home. I'm a housewife." Housewife indeed! This "housewife" is actually the CEO, the general manager of your house. She is the senior executive and fully fledged board member of the fraternity that you call home. She ensures that everything (most of the time) runs smoothly with military precision. (Sadly however, some women fritter their life away by sleeping, shopping, and gossiping.)

 

On the few occasions when things do not go as expected, men tend to let the wives know in no uncertain terms that they are dissatisfied (by verbal abuse, or sometimes even physical abuse). But how often have we informed these same women about the times when things do go well? How often do we give compliments? Do we counsel gently and encourage wisely, or do we assume that "there is no point talking to her … after all she is just a woman." ???

 

Wassalaam

[Valenteenah.]

Is a housewife unemployed?

 

No.

 

Being a housewife is a twenty-four hour job with no thanks, no gratitude, no recognition and no pay. So, NO she isn't unemployed, she's OVER-EMPLOYED. A regular employee goes home at the end of the day...there no such thing for a housewife. When does she get a break? When does she take annual leave? When does she have anytime for herself? Oh and she can't resign either...not if she is a mother.

 

She is trully trapped...for life.

 

I suppose there are some benefits to being a housewife, and I suppose some women are more suited to it than others. Also, if there is a strong support system in place within the household, it could potentially be a good job.

 

However, from what I have seen, it smacks of slave-labour. The only things missing, in fact, seem to be the metal shackles.

 

I would rather take the easy path and be a regular employee, with regular hours, a consistent paycheck, positive feedback and recognition for a job well-done and great opportunities for promotions and further training.

 

Thank you. :cool:

[lol]

Housewifery is NOT unemployment. Anyone man who says, his wife is not working is a fool if u ask me. Her hours doesn't end actually and as my sister Zephy said, " OVEREMPLOYED " is wat she is. With the non-ending shifts... so men should appreciate and help their women out

[RendezVous]

^^^^>>>>>> Truth hurts...It is sometimes..Men's fault...apart from a woman doing all that and doing her best..get beaten...but Why?

 

Sickening...

 

(I wish to allow my wife to have two times annual leave with tickets and one lifetime Hajj pilgrimage)...as bonus...)to her helping me bring upright kids with emphasis on Somali Culture(which is dwindling)+ ISLAM.

 

Who wouldn't like his wife to drive him and kids to their places of employment and school?

 

With Means,...Housewife I thought, is a real Lovely way of life..+ freedom... avoid putting on 3G cameras to monitor what they are cooking in the kitchen from the office.

 

^^>>> No wonder we take our children to kinder...'s..and our wives are @home....

 

ati nani?

[Cawralo]

Nice list..but according to who? Why all these musts? It's a bit like someone is sucking all the 02 from the room.

 

I have to agree with Zepheryne..being a house-wife is almost like slavery to me (and offcourse I realise that this is from a materialistic & patriarchal point of view..). Why put yourself in a situation where you are financially disabled? Most of womens work (worldwide) in the homes is for free. Most young girls (worldwide) spend less time on homework and more time on household work (opposite for boys)..and so on. Why work twice as hard for half the salary?

 

Men are jsut as able to be @ home dads, regardless of what the "uterus feminists" say. And if housewives are employees, who are the employers? And why do they have lousy working conditions?

 

Full salary..and half the power. *amiin*

[Baashi]

^Very interesting perspective! Zeph seems to be equating being a “housewife†(should’ve been mother) to being trapped in a dysfunctional family. As they say, opinions vary and reasonable people do/can disagree.

 

Some “housewives†have it all wallahi. Yes, there are “housewives†that have caring, loving, and responsible husbands and yes the husbands are not foreigners!! Some don’t feel over employed or overburdened with the trivial house chores. Some have time to take the kids to the library, to the museums, to the park, and to the swimming lessons. Some even got time to go to summer camping! They do this on their own terms and on their own schedule. No need to mark the shared dept. vacation calendar or impress the boss for a favor to go to this or that upcoming family reunion and what not...

 

Oh yeah these happy housewives do exist!! They are happy the fact that they don’t have to put in the regular 8 hours to pay the bills. They make use of their education in so many different ways and the fact they feel succeeding in raising kids that embrace the best of both worlds (Islamic n Western) is extremely rewarding and satisfying.

 

They indeed feel like a real woman! (**remembers that song**) To them caring, loving, sharing one’s “quality time†with, and looking out for, one’s loved ones is indeed what makes world round. The challenge is seeing the services mothers and wives provide to their loved ones through clear lenses and see them what they really are: CARING their loved ones. The genuine ones don't equate this valuable experience with hourly service they could have put in (for someone or for some company) in return of a buck...to make a living. What if your tiger can give you double of that just to stay put...and enjoy the sunshine in the park with your precious little ones :cool:

 

my taano.

[Valenteenah.]

Baashi!

 

Hello dear,

 

That's an enticing picture you paint. I'm sure thats the exact fantasy most young women have when they think of having their own 'family', all those movie-type moments of sharing and caring and blissful happiness.

 

But does the reality measure up? From what I have observed, the answer would be a resounding NO! The above scenario is just one of the many ways girls are lured into that particular trap. And after the honeymoon period is over? They are likely to find themselves in the middle of it all without much help or input from that previously enchanting 'tiger'. Of course by then its too late because she's hardly likely to leave her child/ren, is she? She will just have to resign herself to her fate.

 

You just need to walk down the street to see all the lone, harrassed-looking somali women pushing prams loaded with shopping bags with two/three other kids hanging off their skirts. I hardly ever see the man doing the shopping with his family...and on the rare occasions that I do see a young family doing things together, I am always (gladly) surprised. But then, why should something as simple as that be such a surprise? Really?

 

I have always wondered why when men get married wey dhalaalaan, but when women get hitched they lose their sparkle and start looking haggard. Its probably because of this 'housewife' business.

 

Like I said, no thank you.

[- Femme -]

I despise that term: Housewife. Then some numshucks thought to be politically correct and call it ---> Homemaker. Ohhhhh, as if!

[Baashi]

Zephyrine,

 

Hawdy qallanjo,

 

I take it that caring and loving your loved ones is rewarding thing to do. You are saying the families you have seen are not just experiencing enough of that. I hear ya!

 

London must be having an effect on you Zephyrine! Is London Somali community that dysfunctional? Or is it you that lost confidence in everything Somali? I mean to think of the existence of normal, loving, and caring Somali family with responsible head as being fantasy movie like dream is scary really!

 

Granted there are many many dysfunctional families (because of irresponsible husbands/fathers) all over. I won’t deny that qofyahay but don’t paint this gloomy picture for the readers. It’s not just simply so in America and folks who reside here can attest to this. Poverty, language barrier, lack of essential skills and what not are what our communities are suffering but love and gacalo are abundant commodity within our community.

 

Have a nice weekend pnomads.

[Jacpher]

Zephyrine:

 

Don't let that discourage you gacalo. You can't teach an old dog new tricks

 

Baashi: Zep's argument is valid and it is not the first time I heard this argument. Somali men need to acknowledge the problem and correct it before the young generation adopts it. It's clear most Somali men have more desire to sit at starbucks for fadhi ku dirir, and no desire to help out the family.

[Viking]

We should find a way to get them to pay taxes, only then will they be counted as "employed".

 

On a serious note, housewives are not seen as "productive" in the west because they don't "generate" money. But they are in reality safe-guarding the future of a nation so they should get proper monetary compensation. They are afterall bringing up future "tax-payers" who will run the nation and its economy.

 

Since many western women opt for a "career" instead of building a family, countries like France have been forced to pay mothers a lot of money for every child they give birth to. Europeans have realised that although the economy impoves the more women join the work-force, the population has been dwindling. Countries that traditionally have strong family structures in the west (like Spain and Italy) have today the lowest birth-rates in the world.

 

This means that they wouldn't be able to sustain the high standards of living in the future because there won't be enough people working because the birth-rates have been very low in the 80's, 90's and beyond. This is partly because the role of a housewife is frowned upon which is nothing other than ripples of "emancipation".

[-Serenity-]

Housewife like the ladies above mentioned is a full time job and a half. Measuring the level of “success†of such a role entirely depends on who or what you’re using as your yardstick. Now a mother who sits at home and takes care of her adolescent children is “less successful†considering the various factors mentioned in the post i.e. independence, professionalism, experience, management and being self-sufficient than a mother who fulfils the same role while maintaining a full time job. But if you were to compare the role of a mother to that of another woman who just maintains a full time job, the effort level of the mother-role tips the scale. I personally believe there are crucial years in a child’s life when they need the constant attention of atleast one of their parents and no child should have to go without it. Having children is a personal choice and one that should be taken up, fully aware of the sacrifices needed. But this period is limited and I don’t think you can be a housewife for life. That’s just being a bum and that’s why some women say it with a sigh “I’m just a motherâ€.

[Qac Qaac]

intesting thoughts guys.. we appreciate house wives... mash'allah..

[xiinfaniin]

@... all the lone, harrassed-looking somali women pushing prams loaded with shopping bags with two/three other kids hanging off their skirts.

 

That’s a disturbing picture, Zephy! And very discouraging one indeed.

[Kruella]

Are housewives unemployed? No of course they’re not. However, I wouldn’t say they are employees, because they’re above that. Employees will do a job for monetary purpose, they want recognition and advancement, they only do the necessary without giving 110% of their effort, and if the steady paycheck won’t materialize they will quit in a blink. The reality is that most Mothers and Housewives will do the job unconditionally. Granted some are forced by circumstances and others do it with great love, they still do significant work which is undervalued in most societies. We only need to look at all the contributions and the endless toil they go through on daily basis. It’s not to glorify the work of homemakers mind you, because it’s already a glorified work in its own right to those who will see it as such. And I choose to look at it from that angle. So what if women look haggard and old, who cares if you lose sleep and drag grocery bags with four chipmunks in tow. At least you can say you did it for your family rather than put all that effort into a company or a job where you can’t reap the long term benefits and the CEO is enriched by your “grand†efforts. I prefer to be the unpaid home-based CEO who in tattered clothes, wrinkled face and hunchback, smiles and sees her kids happy, well fed and well educated by mommy dearest(Maybe this is where I sollicit the help of the father if he's willing to contribute). .....Well it all depends on the circumstance of course,....... maybe I’m a dreamer.

 

Salamz