Drugs and the Somali Family- Is this true?!

[Castro]

Originally posted by McPharax:

I Repeat it is not "RUBBISH" :cool:

You're right. It isn't. Using it as an excuse is. It takes a village to raise a child didn't mean let the village worry about my kids coz I'm off chillin' somewhere.

 

Edited: Xiin waakii soo xiimayee xaguu maray talow?

[Faarax-Brawn]

Originally posted by Castro:

quote:Originally posted by McPharax:

I Repeat it is not "RUBBISH" :cool:

You're right. It isn't. Using it as an excuse is. It takes a village to raise a child didn't mean let the village worry about my kids coz I'm off chillin' somewhere.

 

Edited: Xiin waakii soo xiimayee xaguu maray talow?

Sxb,lol so long as you agree its not rubbish,we cool. Your earlier stance potrayed an aloof man. Came across as an Cadaan Republican kinda dude.Uncharacteristic of a commy.

 

I dont think you can approach this somali issue just like the cadaan folks. They move away from xaafad to xaafad at the slightest sight of madow like behavior instead of being a part of the community. Their search for the perfect community leads them to isolation and a commute of upto 100 freaking miles to work. I have no problem with it,if that is what someone wants. But are you gonna keep running away,till you find the "perfect" neighborhood?

 

Its probably a good idea to worry about your own problems Castro ,but how are you gonna raise kids in a neigborhood where the next door neighbors' kids are selling dope?. Its either you move away[Which is not a bad idea] or try to fix it. I know they are not oblidged to take a part in the safe guarding the neighborhood,but you would think its a better option.

 

Mama Anab & the rest of the Rochesterians i am sure cant afford to move away from those subsidised govt houses, they probably wont even if they did. So how does one solve an internal issue? How would you have raised kids in rough neighborhood? :cool:

 

Xiin;I think Castro is daring you man. Dont let me down.

[Castro]

^ Atheer, mama Anab and her friends can stay in the ghetto if they so wish. I'm moving out. I will not move 100 miles away but to a decent neighborhood of hardworking, blue collar folk like myself. Ones who care about their children by doing the following:

 

1) Follow their school progress

2) Do homework with them EVERY NIGHT

3) Spend ample time with them socializing

4) Read to them if they're young

5) Enroll them in sports activities

6) Be aware of who they're friends with and how and where they spend their time.

 

Doing the above will significantly reduce, if not eliminate, the risk of any child's delinquency. If we can't do this as parents, what the heck is the point of calling oneself a parent? And you're mistaken dude, it's not just a choice between the ghetto and 100 miles out of town. There is a viable middle ground.

 

Finally, it's been my experience that the most successful Somalis are those who (literally) keep their distance from other Somalis. I don't understand the mechanics of this but for some reason, whenever our people live in close proximity in great numbers, they simply don't succeed as much as those who live further away or in cities with few Somalis. This puts the community concept on shaky ground, doesn't it? Don't ask me for evidence of this because I don't have any stats. It's just a personal observation.

[xiinfaniin]

^^Those are valid points, and a one we should all strive to do. But the fact remains that not all people are equipped to follow those items you listed. You’re conveniently ignoring that the people we are talking about are not your average Smith and Kathy, they are immigrants who face, among many other problems, language barrier. How could Xaajiyo Boodey, who could not speak English, monitor her child’s academic progress? How could she enroll her child swimming pool classes and other sports activities? How could she socialize with a child who’s quite embarrassed and feels uncomfortable with his/her mother’s lack of English proficiency?

 

The community we are talking about consists many of Xaajiyo Boodeys and need practical help to smooth their transition in this country saaxiib. And unless you’re in denial with the fact that most Somalis who come this country come unprepared for the challenges they face, and very few percentage of them are able to do without help, you must agree with the need to provide some help for the community to succeed. It takes awareness to do even the things you listed. What is not helpful is the notion of moving out and escaping from your community’s social problems.

 

It may be true that Somalis who live out side of the community do better in academic achievements and succeed. But is it not also true they are the first to loose their language, and, to some degree, their culture? Even if you decide to leave out side of it, you can still appreciate their success and help, saaxiib.

 

Como’n good Castro .

 

Faarax, Castro saaka loxoox buusan soo cunin .

[Castro]

Xiinow, I've seen with mine own eyes a Xaajiyo Boodey with 5 children whom she gathers up for a 2 hour weeknight homework sessions. Mr. Xaajiyo Boodey works like a dog in a menial job. He comes home and passes out from exhaustion. Xaajiyo herself knows not a word of English. Her kids all help each other. The oldest passes down his skills to the youngest. What Xaajiyo compensates for her lack of education is the will to break the cycle of bad parenting. She's there with milk and cookies and to prevent idle chat when homework awaits. She knows she can't help with the math problems, but she will be damned if she puts up her hands in the air. She will monitor the kids from a distance. Know where they go and what they do. She will choose to stay home most of the time rather than go next door and chill with her homies. Atheer, that's what I'm talking about. This ideal of the Smiths as a family you seem to speak of is not a myth. It's doable and it is being done. Hands on parenting inside the home does not require any community involvement.

 

Four of Xaajiyo Boodey's kids have made it to college. She still doesn't speak English but the fruits of her labor are evident and she can only thank herself and the Lord for that. Community my a$$.

 

Had to throw that last one in there to get you warmed up. Though you've got a much cooler head than awoowe Baashi who's easily agitated.

[Yeniceri]

Originally posted by Castro:

Finally, it's been

my experience

that the most successful Somalis are those who (literally) keep their distance from other Somalis. I don't understand the mechanics of this but for some reason, whenever our people live in close proximity in great numbers, they simply don't succeed as much as those who live further away or in cities with few Somalis.

I'm glad you said "my experience" because I do beg to differ. From my personal experience, I've duly noted that life is what you make it to be. Somalis or not, if others' influence on you is so great as to become your reference point (of sorts) between success and failure, then I'm afraid that speaks volumes for your perosnal character, and cannot (and should not) be interpreted as a reflection on the Somali people.

 

What of the countless doctors, professors, lawyers and other professional elite who were educated in Somalia during the good ol' times? How did the fact that their instructors, administrators and fellow students being majority Somalis affect their academics?

 

Like I said, life is what you make it to be, sxb. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

However, I do agree with another previous statement you made:

 

War dadyahow naftiina iyo reerkina nin walba ha ka adkaado. Forget this community rubbish you're chasing.

Well said. Soomaalidu waxay ku maah-maahdaa: Laba qaawan isma qaado. Basically, help yourself first, before trying to help others.

 

That's one of the principles I live by.

 

By xiin:

 

you must agree with the need to provide some help for the community to succeed.

I can agree to that. However, you must also agree to Rule #1: Help yourself first.

[Faarax-Brawn]

Atheer, mama Anab and her friends can stay in the ghetto if they so wish. I'm moving out. I will not move 100 miles away but to a decent neighborhood of hardworking, blue collar folk like myself. Ones who care about their children by doing the following

I feel you Castro,but what happens if the same neighborhood gets infected? Will you then move and look for another community? You cant possibly keep running away;Maybe you can, i personally wont. Its not in my nature to run away from stuff,i face them head on.

 

 

I am not saying one shouldnt do the list you populated up there. Its every parents responsibilty anyway. But you do not have control over what goes on in the house next door.If them kids are running around unsupervised,its gonna somehow spill over to the rest of the neighborhood or neighboring kids.

 

Besides this case is a little different,most of the somalis are distant relatives. even if they are not relatives, still the sense of somalinimo is still there. Mama Heblayo's kid haduu cunug xun noqdo,mama heblayo and atheer hebel will feel for them.

 

You actually do have a point about progressive somalis doing better than those in concetrated areas. It probably has to do alot with the welfare system. The further away one somali is from the rest of the pack,the better he seems to be doing. it might be as well that the somali who is nnot amongst his folks emulates the folks around him. Its one thing that i guess social scienctist have to figure out,i am actually curious

[Castro]

Originally posted by McPharax:

But you do not have control over what goes on in the house next door.If them kids are running around unsupervised,its gonna somehow spill over to the rest of the neighborhood or neighboring kids.

Move dude. Move. The neighbors and their rowdy kids can stay. I'm gone. Face them kulaha. Atheer dantayda icuslaysay.

[Faarax-Brawn]

Move dude. Move. The neighbors and their rowdy kids can stay. I'm gone. Face them kulaha. Atheer dantayda icuslaysay

HaHaHa ...Atheer When will you stop moving? when you see yourself in the middle of Alejandro Jose's land?

 

If some kids think he can come around my block & pull that 'hustler' sh1t;rest assured i make him hustle for his life. I aint gonna move,i make em move.

[Castro]

McPharax, do what you need to do to give your kids a chance saaxib. Life is hard as it is without adding on other problems to your plate. When your kids have grown and can stand on their own two feet, then you can give back to the community. Until then, the community can, and must, wait.

[xiinfaniin]

Full parental responsibility is first order in the business of raising children (I though that was no brainier). With out it there isn’t much that others can do. Having got that out of the way let me inaan ku dhar-dhaaro Castro.

 

Castrow, your sample is very selective one. You chose the best Xaajiyo Boodey you could find. It does not reflect actualities on the ground. These problems are real. People are struggling wallaahi. If the likes of you and I and Faarax don’t raise their awareness, give them the tips they need to succeed, and organize them in a manner that allows them to overcome these obstacles, they are really destined to fail. And it is not only the ghettos where these problems exist. It is everywhere. Go any place where there is a large concentration of immigrants and you will find them facing the same exact problem. It does not matter whether the family lives in Lorton, Virginia or in South Minneapolis, MN; they all struggle and face same challenges.

 

If we follow your suggestion (nin walbow naftaa nabiyow ummadaa), then there won’t be any meaningful community to speak of, no? I do understand that the concerns of some people are only about schooling and how to best assimilate their kids with the larger population. Retaining their language and religion may not be high in their priority list. But I don’t think we are thinking that way. We want the best of both worlds. We want to succeed here in terms of education, business, and politics but more importantly we also want to retain our culture and faith. That is where community comes in. And you cannot do without it. You need dugsi, masjid, and community centers. It is an opportunity to make a difference. I do get satisfaction any time I get involved in community issues. I like to see it succeed.

 

It was not long ago when I was invited by my fellow students to device a mentoring plan where we rescue high school kids from getting stuck in the ghetto life. I was pleased to see ambitious Somali college students who were willing to make a difference in those poor high schoolers lives. A lot of them volunteered and it worked. Each student got a high schooler and we had done some profiles to do the matching. The parents of those kids were contacted and informed to know what we were up to. Most were pleased as well. That’s how you can help community succeed. Not by moving out and watching them struggle from the comfort of your distance, saaxiib. The thing you need to understand is that Somalis are not organized people. In the west you need strong organization to achieve any thing. You need to help them understand that.

 

Running from them is a cowardly thing to do. Contributing to their success is a noble deed, I say.

[Castro]

Originally posted by xiinfaniin:

It was not long ago when I was invited by my fellow students to device a mentoring plan where we rescue high school kids from getting stuck in the ghetto life. I was pleased to see ambitious Somali college students who were willing to make a difference in those poor high schoolers lives. A lot of them volunteered and it worked. Each student got a high schooler and we had done some profiles to do the matching. The parents of those kids were contacted and informed to know what we were up to. Most were pleased as well. That’s how you can help community succeed. Not by moving out and watching them struggle from the comfort of your distance, saaxiib.

Senor Xiin, my natural inclination is to embrace all that you're saying. How could anyone disgaree? However, I was an ambitious college student too and I've paid my dues then. I've got urgent matters now and this community you speak of is not in the top 3 so the back burner (or off the stove) is where it will go. I feel not an iota of guilt to say this. As for Somalis retaining culture and faith, I can only say this about that: timirtii horaba dab loo waa. Save yourself atheer. Save yourself.

 

P.S. What you call cowardly I prefer to label realistic.

[xiinfaniin]

Wali kaama harin, jecliyaa markaad cararto !

 

There is a world of deference between not being able to help and contribute for the community to succeed and to miserably fail to see the value of such initiative, adeer.

 

As it stands now, you seem to fall in the latter category. I am disappointed in you, saaxiib.

 

P.S: Realist have become the trenches of cowards now days.

[STOIC]

Xiin, i live in Atlanta; one of the cities in the south with the most populated Somali community.The religious part of the Somali people up here is so far good.There are madrasahs and Islamic schools and even coffee shops(the worst place to waste time).Despite the Communties being the cornerstone of every immigrant community; it is the responsibilities of the parents to imbue their kids with high ideals and hopes or else it will be a zero sum game we are gambling here.It is a great idea to help the less fortunate among us(isn't that one of our Islamic calling?).My rumbling is about those teenagers that are showing off their drawers.There are some kids who are bold to the point of reckless on how they view life.Watching 106 and park at six pm will not do your school work.You have to wake up at the dawn to finish your school work.No one is going to do it for you.These kids are the same kids who will be hanging outside the coffee shops every evening after the soccer game or before some party.As for the old ladies not speaking english this is something beyond their control; it is our duty as a community to help them.

[Castro]

Originally posted by xiinfaniin:

Wali kaama harin, jecliyaa markaad cararto

!

Mahaan aan ku taaganahay atheer. Malaha waxaad istiri Castro faduul buu iskugalay. Not this time.

 

Originally posted by xiinfaniin:

There is a world of deference between not being able to help and contribute for the community to succeed and to miserably fail to see the value of such initiative, adeer.

I'd say it's mostly the former and (specifically for Somalis) some of the latter.

 

Originally posted by xiinfaniin:

As it stands now, you seem to fall in the latter category. I am disappointed

in you, saaxiib.

You'll get over the disappointment as soon as you realize the futility in getting Somali expats out of their predicament.

 

We have two solutions, if I may paraphrase yours. You insist that by sticking together (even physically) the whole community will succeed. I, on the other hand, am advocating the role and importance of the nuclear family and that, with or without a "community", its success depends on elements within the family and not without. So, if that family succeeds and others like it do the same, then the "community" will have succeeded. Without having to ghettoize any part of a town.

 

Originally posted by xiinfaniin:

P.S: Realist have become the trenches of cowards now days.

What is it that you think I'm afraid of? The effort involved in community building? The high rate of failure of such efforts? Dealing with maryooley? What is it saaxib?

 

I'm out a few hours. Have a field day till then. Markaan so noqdaan shaqo kaa qaban.