lol Posted March 17, 2004 I thought I would share it with u... my mom emailed me... have fun.. it sure cracked me up as something of a surprise to many Africans to discover that | >|all Africans look the same to non-Africans... | >| | >|How do you tell a Nigerian from a Kenyan? And I am not talking about | >|passports or clothing. The easiest way, of course, is the name, for | >|example Ogunkoye, Ekwekwe or Babangida can only be a Nigerian, a | >|Njoroge, Otieno or Kilonzo must be from Kenya. Where else would you bump| >|into a name like Promise, Immaculate or Patience other than in >Zimbabwe?||And where do the Dunns come from? They are surely from Liberia >or Sierra| >|Leone. | >| | >|Surely everybody knows that the loud, boisterous and cocky ones are the | >|West Africans; the brooding and sly ones are the North and South | >|Africans; the East Africans always say yes even when they disagree | >|vehemently. No wonder there have been very few coups in this region. | >|They have no guts to go against the establishment. They are also the | >|UN's first choice for Peace Keeping duties worldwide. | >| | >|Forget about the Egyptians and Sudanese who change their continents | >|based on which side of the bread is buttered. When convenient, and the | >|Petro-Dollar is flowing, they masquerade as Arabs. When the World Bank | >|is dishing out aid to the third world, they shuffle themselves, | >|cup-in-hand, jostling for the paltry aid given to poor African | >|countries. | >| | >|If you want to be more specific, the Cameroonians will borrow money to | >|buy Champagne. They can even sell a hole in their pockets to ape the | >|bourgeois. | >| | >|The Ghanaians think they invented politics. No Ghanaian worth his salt | >|will conclude a conversation without mentioning the famous Kwame | >|Nkurumah or quoting a phrase from one of his speeches. Even when | >|bargaining at the Bazaar, a 'Kwame' phrase has a magical effect. The | >|problem is they think that this effect is worldwide! A dukawalla in | >|Bombay was forgiven for thinking Kwame was a unit of! currency in | >|Africa! | >| | >|The Congolese think they have the best music and the best dancers. They | >|have this heavenly feeling that they were brought into this world to | >|Sing and Dance... and please, for your own safety, don't you dare | >|challenge that! A Congolese can be spotted from afar by the gait of his | >|walk.... and it also depends on the mood of the walker: A Ndombolo walk | >|is a sign of happiness (..also means 'I've just had it'); a Baba Gaston | >|walk is a sign of old age. | >| | >|The Nigerians have a THING about clothes and jewelry. They are the | >|Indians of Africa; you'll always find a Nigerian in any part of the | >|world... there is one contending for Mayorship somewhere in remote | >|Russia of all the places. There is a Nigerian Police inspector in the | >|Falklands....... and there is a Nigerian Cashier at the First National | >|Bank of Woolongong....(somewhere in Australia) I wonder how long he'll | >|be there before he decid! es to become fluid with the cash. They are | >|like cockroaches and will be found in the most unusual places. | >| | >|The Ethiopians think they have the most beautiful women on God's earth. | >|(think about it, have your ever seen an ugly Ethiopian Lady?...no, not | >|the post-menopause geriatric one, we are talking about | >|the under 45 or so... hmm.) | >| | >|We won't talk about the Somalis for the time being as they are suffering| >|from a severe identity crisis. How else do you explain a Somalian | >|holding a Kenyan Passport saying he was born and raised in | >|Pand-Pieri (somewhere in Kisumu) while the same gentleman cannot utter | >|the basic general greeting? | >| | >|Moroccans think they're French and so do the Burkinabes. Algerians hate | >|the French. | >| | >|Sierra Leonians smile profusely. | >| | >|Liberians can't get over America...they copy everything including | >|Rambo...any wonder they have Rambo-style rumbles in the jungle. Call it | >|an influence from Hollywood? | >| | >|All East ! and Southern African countries have more or less the same | >|boring national anthems, but the South Africans sing it the best. Which | >|other national anthem can make your feet loose control and do a jig on | >|their own? | >| | >|The South Africans have thick and springy hair; the Zambians and Kenyans| >|have prominent foreheads. The Nigerians have thick luscious lips and | >|their females possess some of the widest posteriors. | >| | >|The West Africans have short memories and never learn from their | >|mistakes; how many times are they caught all over the world on | >|drug-related cases yet they continue the trade. How many times are | >|they going to send those silly chain letters asking for bank accounts | >|and pretending they are sons of Chief so and so? | >| | >|The concept of order and discipline must have been invented in | >|EastAfrica; the words don't exist in West Africa, especially in | >|Nigeria....does anyone know how many coups that coun! try has endured? | >| | >|When a cabinet minister is caught in a corruption scandal, he commits | >|suicide in Southern Africa; in West Africa he's promoted after the next | >|coup d'etat. In Kenya, he is stripped of his Cabinet post for a | >|short while till the dust settles and then re-instated to a higher | >|Cabinet post which amalgamates his earlier Cabinet post. In essence, he | >|still controls his earlier Ministerial post by proxy. | >| | >|In athletics, the divisions are easy: from 800m to the marathon the East| >|Africans hold sway; the West Africans are only good at the sprints. | >|South Africans can only sing. But when it comes to football | >|(soccer), the North and West Africans dominate the lesser-skilled East | >|and South Africans. | >|------------------------------------------------------------------------| > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites