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An Open Letter to My Neighbours Cat

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Dear Ivana:

 

I love you. I’ve always loved you since the day you snuck into our yard and pooped into our garden. Even though my mother disagrees and threatens to hit you with a broomstick the next time you mess up her garden - I think you were indirectly telling us that you care and are capable of taking responsibility for your messes. I think that’s very grownup and considerate of you. A typical dog would’ve just left it there and ruined our day - but you! No, you special cat, you would cover it up for us to find and dispose of when we try to rake over the weeds. And no, I am not mad that I had to clean up the clogged cat poop on the rake edges.

 

Ivana, I have to say though. I feel that you don’t appreciate me at all. I mean, I feed you, I snuggle with you, and when I run my hands down the length of your back, I can feel and hear the loud puuurrrs vibrating throughtout your whole body. But, why must I beg, cry and plead for your attention? After I feed you, instead of showing me gratitude, you cock your head and stare intently at me for a few minutes, your peircing green eyes looking through my eyes and deep down my soul. Finding nothing to interest you, you lay around pretending to sleep and all the while your mind is working feverishly figuring out where else to poop discretely and surprise us. Then you leave, without so much as a goodbye, and head over to your rightful home, your tail and ears straight in the air, dismissing me and my love. I man, is that even necessary? Why can't we part ways respectfully, instead of leaving me miserable and vindictive?

 

I feel used, Ivana. Used and worthless like one of your old. chewed to death toy mice. It seems like you only want me to fulfill you physical needs - massage, food and a place to poop. I think we need to re-evaluate our relationship and work on the places that are lacking - as in the unreciprocated affection displayed by yours truly. How hard is is to come and lay on my lap with prompting, to rub your smooth head on my neck like you do your owners, to place your paws on my chest and hug me like a true friend would. Why do you manipulate me and abuse my affection?

 

Ivana, I love you but if you don’t change your wandering ways, I would be forced to seek attention else where. Maybe even that fat cat that you despise for no other reason but that it loves rubbing it’s body on my legs. Yes…I do have options you see…so think carefully about the benefits in our relationship and whether or not it’s worth it to you to work on it or lose it….

 

Love,

Shabanu

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Ok...Warsan....No snuggling, massaging, or any sort of physical contact or I ( the Owner's attorney) will be forced to file sexual harassment lawsuit. An agreement has been reached with your lawyer regarding this issue. Please read the provisoins of the agreement and consult with your lawyer for any necessary changes.

 

P.S Ivana(Or is it Ivan) says" hello ;) and just why do you feel the need to make our love a public affair?.I feel used and betrayed. Now you left me miserable and vindictive".

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Intel   

Originally posted by Shabanu:

How hard is is to come and lay on my lap with prompting, to rub your smooth head on my neck like you do your owners, to place your paws on my chest and hug me like a true friend would. Why do you manipulate me and abuse my affection?

 

that bloody darn cat... baadi nimaan lahayn bay ag joogtaa :(

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Nephissa   

Cats are really affectionate. Sometimes I think my cat is more needy than any kid might be, and I've given up on trying to be in the bathroom alone. :D

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grown man talking to puzzy-cat!! what gives!!

homie u need to get a gal friend!! loool.

 

u funny homie! hey! i gotta a sista who unlucky in love! u wanna meet here!! holla

 

warning! my sista needs dr phil badly!! she lost that feeling of love 4 faraax since them boyz r rare in la!!

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Nephissa   

Originally posted by rudy:

grown man talking to puzzy-cat!! what gives!!

homie u need to get a gal friend!! loool.

 

u funny homie! hey! i gotta a sista who unlucky in love! u wanna meet here!! holla

 

warning! my sista needs dr phil badly!! she lost that feeling of love 4 faraax since them boyz r rare in la!!

Shabanu ought to take this guy up on his offer! :D:D

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sorry shabanu!! hell.... now i understand u is xalimo! excuse moi! i aint hip with this type of names! u feel me!!! :confused:

 

what happened to cambarro, xaawa etc...! :mad:

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Baluug   

A guy who speaks mostly nonsense and a girl who writes letters to cats.....I think Shabanu and Rudy are a match made in heaven!! :D

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Originally posted by MC Xamar:

A guy who speaks mostly nonsense and a girl who writes letters to cats.....I think Shabanu and Rudy are a match made in heaven!!
:D

Hey, utter disgust!! it was even better you understood the crap as nonsense, but wait,

 

What do u call a meel coat???? TOM? :D:D

 

Where is the love???

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Khayr   

Originally posted by Shabanu:

Dear Ivana:

 

I love you. I’ve always loved you since the day you snuck into our yard and pooped into our garden. Even though my mother disagrees and threatens to hit you with a broomstick the next time you mess up her garden - I think you were indirectly telling us that you care and are capable of taking responsibility for your messes. I think that’s very grownup and considerate of you. A typical dog would’ve just left it there and ruined our day - but you! No, you special cat, you would cover it up for us to find and dispose of when we try to rake over the weeds. And no, I am not mad that I had to clean up the clogged cat poop on the rake edges.

 

Ivana, I have to say though. I feel that you don’t appreciate me at all. I mean, I feed you, I snuggle with you, and when I run my hands down the length of your back, I can feel and hear the loud puuurrrs vibrating throughtout your whole body. But, why must I beg, cry and plead for your attention? After I feed you, instead of showing me gratitude, you cock your head and stare intently at me for a few minutes, your peircing green eyes looking through my eyes and deep down my soul. Finding nothing to interest you, you lay around pretending to sleep and all the while your mind is working feverishly figuring out where else to poop discretely and surprise us. Then you leave, without so much as a goodbye, and head over to your rightful home, your tail and ears straight in the air, dismissing me and my love. I man, is that even necessary? Why can't we part ways respectfully, instead of leaving me miserable and vindictive?

 

I feel used, Ivana. Used and worthless like one of your old. chewed to death toy mice. It seems like you only want me to fulfill you physical needs - massage, food and a place to poop. I think we need to re-evaluate our relationship and work on the places that are lacking - as in the unreciprocated affection displayed by yours truly. How hard is is to come and lay on my lap with prompting, to rub your smooth head on my neck like you do your owners, to place your paws on my chest and hug me like a true friend would. Why do you manipulate me and abuse my affection?

 

Ivana, I love you but if you don’t change your wandering ways, I would be forced to seek attention else where. Maybe even that fat cat that you despise for no other reason but that it loves rubbing it’s body on my legs. Yes…I do have options you see…so think carefully about the benefits in our relationship and whether or not it’s worth it to you to work on it or lose it….

 

Love,

Shabanu

Very Creative indeed!

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