Would you marry cadaanka?

[Wadani]

Narniah;869637 wrote:

Raula lol so it's strictly sijui for you huh that's understandable considering you are one (am I right)?. Thanks for the support it's appreciated. I don't think there is a thread titiled 'would you marry a farax' but i'm sure it would cause a lot unnecessary drama though and many disputes. /:

 

 

 

I'm aware of this and I'd like to conclude that I'm not all for this. However, we must ask ourselves why? I imagine they were either born/bred here or grew up here from a very young age. It's hard growing up in two different cultures and balancing that as an adult becomes even more challenging.

 

I think the reason some of these sisters accept less from reverts, is because they don't always have the support from their families (even in the case where the parents are ok with it's the extended family that creates issues behind the scenes. This can be ignored but it still has a negative affect on the entire process. When you have the love/support from your family, I think you have a room to think more of yourself and demand accordingly.

 

I also think the families in a lot of cases undermine their daughters indirectly and treat them differently when they bring a non-Somali man. When a Girl brings a Somali guy the family wants to immediately help out with the wedding, outdo the mans family, show how much they love their daughter. There's a sense of closeness/Love, you feel like you have a family.

 

Unfortunately this is not the case when the girl marries a revert. They know this deep down that's why they're accepting of less. The family too knows there's no other Somali family that they need to impress, It's just a revert his family are most likely gaal so who cares what they think of us right? Were they Somali, the family would be bending backwards to make a positive impression on the in laws.

 

I know a friend of my sister who married a revert. When her older sister married a Somali guy. Everyone in her family helped out with the wedding. The girl was treated like a princess (the way a bride is suppose to be treated) She got suitcases of the most expensive traditional clothes/Gold/Money as gifts. However when the younger girl got married, she just had a small nikah , no one gave her gifts or even suggested she too should have a wedding at all. It was so sad cause I know both of the sisters and the apparent injustice at play was for all to see.

 

These are one of the ignored factors that contribute to the problem you mentioned.

 

 

 

Brother I think you need to read my post above. Your post is filled with generalizations. You are just highlighting the 'problem' but you avoid to discuss the 'cause' or why this happens. As long we keep turning a blind eye to the 'whys' we will never move forward or make positive changes.

You make some very valid and insightful points which i haven't considered before.

[Malika]

Narniah all families arent the same - I know of a Somali family that went out of their way to make the revert fiance of their daughter welcomed. The family invited us[friends/family] to be part of the day the guy was visiting for the first time. The girls father/brothers/uncles were all present - it was 'out of this world' as the guy[fiance] was a Senegalese brother -to see a Somali family so humbled and so open minded was breath of fresh air - then again this family is very religious and pious people.

[Narniah]

Wadani, thanks.

 

Malika, I know parents like the ones you mentioned exist too, but they are quite rare. That's why I said even in the cases where the parents don't mind, it's the extended family stirring up trouble.

[Che -Guevara]

Habo....Most Senegalese are Muslims. Igaarkaan amuu trying to pull one over her. I think I should try this revert thing and see if Xalimo falls for it. They used to say I look Bengali or Ethiopian, I could use that angle:D

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

Che, waala heshay. That is what I was thinking. Reer Sinigaal Muslimiin ku ogaa goormee 'revert' noqdeen. Maleyka, jar loo degay reerkaas iyo gabadhooda ee u sheeg.

[Che -Guevara]

They do have minority Christian community.

[ElPunto]

MMA and Che on a mission to save Somali women from the clutches of the evil psuedo reverts and cadaaaans!

[Malika]

^Lol - maa ila aragtee - they dont mind a Senegalese, lakiin have an issue with a 'cadaan' revert..lol

 

Waa runtiina the guy was a Muslim anyway, lakiin waxaan anigu uu jeede the open mindness of the family in regard to his background aka being a Senegalese.

[Che -Guevara]

Elpunto......I don't have that much energy, in any case, where did I say I want to save anyone?

 

Habo.....I think we are merely talking self-induced gullibility on part of some Xalimos but for those that know what they are getting into-Godspeed.

[Khadafi]

Think about the CHILDREN! For gods sake think about the CHILDREN!

 

As usall the discussion about intra-racial marriages comes to existense, My personal opinon is, why complicate things, Some think that marriage is two persons joining each other into a single unit, but in our cultures it's actually two families being a unit If I would i have been married to a white lady, Could I expect her to care of my aging mother?, the second thing is ofcourse from a religous perspective, Let's say a a guy converts to islam and in a few months turns into a bearded taliban and marries a somali woman.

 

They are married for three years and then gets divorced, Yaa og in uu ninka gaalinimadiisa ku noqonkarin They guy might end back to his gaalo days, and voila! You have children that visit his gaal father every sunday and saturday and eats bacon with him. The child then comes back to you on normal days and eats halal meat?

These examples might be the worst ones, But atleast if someones gets divorced his/her children has cultural religous family units to count on.! Marka dhalinyaro ha fududaanina

Guursada waxaad taqaantid and wax ku yaqaano.

[oba hiloowlow]

Khadafi;874040 wrote:

Think about the CHILDREN! For gods sake think about the CHILDREN!

 

As usall the discussion about intra-racial marriages comes to existense, My personal opinon is,

why complicate things

, Some think that marriage is two persons joining each other into a single unit, but in our cultures it's actually

two families being a unit

If I would i have been married to a white lady, Could I expect her to care of my aging mother?, the second thing is ofcourse from a religous perspective, Let's say a a guy converts to islam and in a few months turns into a bearded taliban and marries a somali woman.

 

They are married for three years and then gets divorced

, Yaa og in uu ninka gaalinimadiisa ku noqonkarin

They guy might end back to his gaalo days, and voila! You have children that visit his gaal father every sunday and saturday and eats bacon with him. The child then comes back to you on normal days and eats halal meat?

These examples might be the worst ones, But atleast if someones gets divorced his/her children has cultural religous family units to count on.!

Marka dhalinyaro ha fududaanina

Guursada waxaad taqaantid and wax ku yaqaano.

+1

[Showqi]

Khadafi, you said it all brother. Even if the Somali Lady is still married with the revert and the guy stays as Muslim. Adeerka, eedada, awoowaha iyo ayeeyada ilmahaagu wali waa gaalo and they do have inveluence to your child think about that. What I am saying is it's not only the father that have to be Muslim but rather the entire family! Otherwise the uncle, the aunt or the grant parents may feed your child to bacon, or even may beinveluence your child's religion.

[Malika]

^Nonsense.

 

Ninka ama gabadha revertka maa aari baa? I am sure, they will make sure their children arent fed pork or led astray by their non-muslim families. Those I know, have actually become a great influence to their families - to the point of influencing them to convert too. Furthermore kuwi Muslimnimada laguso koriye, from generations have become atheist, drunks etc etc - there are no life gurantees to what ones child will turn out to be, hadhaa taasi kaa baqaneysaan. All I see is fear , prejiduce - My opinon its misguided, there is nothing fantastic about being a Somali nor marrying a Somali - what is important is Islam and a Muslim, either born in Islam or converted into it.

 

"Wa ra'aytah- naasa yadkhuloona fee deeni-laahi afwaajaa" - And you see that the people enter Allah's religion in crowd - Surah An nasr

 

The more the merrier - Allahu Akbar!!

[Blessed]

If you think about it, all of the sahaabis were converts....not saying current converts are on the same level.. but a Muslim is a muslim and you'll find good/bad whatever their path to Islam.

[raula]

horta somaalidii baaba isku wareersan..maxaa dad kale wax laga sheegi..