95 ways to know you are an arab

[lulla]

Asalam Calykum guys,

a friend emailed me this and i wanted to share it with you guys. Some of it is true and funny!

 

1. You pronounce your p's as b's ( bolice and airblane)

2. You make Tea before leaving home, when getting to the office, after lunch, when having guests, before the guests leave, after the guests leave and before going to bed.

3.You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.

4. Your parents were ranked first in school.

5. Your dad swears at you with words that affect himself. (Ibni-lkalb)

6. You've had a shoe or slipper thrown at you by your mother. ....

7. You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more people and talk really really loud in arabic together.

8. You still have, stored in suitcases,clothes that you used to wear when you were five

9. Your wardrobe consists of black, black, and more black...

10.Your Armani pants don't fit you, but you wear them anyways.

11.Your parents say you're becoming Americanized anytime you get into trouble.

12. Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood.

13.You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

14. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

15. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.

16.You say bye 17 times on the phone. ...

17. After a family meal, the women fight to the death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and discuss politics, waiting for their tea. ..

18. You call an older person you've never met before"Ammo" or "Khaltu".

19.One of your aunt's weighs over 300 pounds. ...

20.Your father is a doctor or engineer.

21You hide everything from your parents, but they still think they know everything about you, and make you beleive that they actually do.

22. People are never happy with what you've achieved. If you graduated from school they'll tell you "3o2bal el-Shahadeh el kbeereh", and when u get that "3o2bal bel Aroos or Areees", and when you get that "3o2bal ma nefrah be Aoulad-kum", and when you get that "3o2bal ma tefrahu bi shahadit-hum", etc..

23. Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby, everybody tells you "mabrook"

24. Everytime you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew existed, and they look nothing like your family.

25.If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that you are getting too old.

26. Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your parents.

27.You tell your friends how to rebel against their parents when you

can't even stay out past midnight.

28.You fight over who's going to pay the bill

29.Your family is over at your house all the time

30.There is no such thing as quiet time

31.You always say "Open the light" instead of "Turn the light on" or "get down from the car" instead of "get out of the car."

32.Going for eid prayer is a fashion show and a free brunch

33.You cant help but laugh when you hear the word TEASE

34.Your spouse is also your first cousin.

35.Your family own a grocery store, a convieniance store, or gas station.

36. You're dad is fat and blame it on the kids, or he is bald and blame it on the stress.

37. You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only smoke MARLBOROS.

38. You wear more cologne than deodorant.

40. You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.

41. You say the letter "h" like "etch."

42. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.

43. Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day...

44. You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and pumpkin seeds. ..

45.You flip out when someone mistakes you for a Mexican or Pakistani

46. You gossip about your own family...with members of your own

family.

47. You have more than 4 kids.

48. You eat humus at least 3 times a week.

49. You cook a meal that lasts 4 days.

50. Everyone is a family friend.

51. At parties, you think it's cool to dance and smoke at the same time.

52. You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are morally corrupt.

53. You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live on them.

54. You watch the hell out of the Arabic channel and talk crap about the rest.

55. You have 500,000,000 cousins.

56. At weddings it takes 4 hours for the guests to kiss and say salam to the bride and groom.

57. You have a gold/siver necklace of your name written in Arabic.

58. You bump to Arabic music at all times!

59. Your middle name is your father's first name.

60. If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather.

61. You play cards till the break of dawn.

62. You can spot an Arab a mile away and they have spotted at you because they keep staring. ..

63. You can't have a meal without Arabic bread.

64. You have a houka as a centerpiece in your living room. ...

65. If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.

66. You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in them. ( i.e Massari)

67. You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad

ones) and get happy when they use them in normal conversations.

68. Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.

69. You have a difficult Arabic name to pronounce so you come up with an Americanized version of it like "Sam" or "Moe."

70. You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her and tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as much as he does.

71. If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're an unemployed goat herder.

72. Your favorite food is warag el enab or lukhiya , but you are embarrassed

to tell your friends that you eat leaves for dinner.

73. You get really happy and call the whole family to the room when there is a special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arabic related on CNN or PBS.

74. You use a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands

75. You have a uni-brow...and if you don't, you pluck it.

76. You own and/or play a tableh

77 .You go to an Arabic restaurant, tell the owner you're an Arab, and expect to get free food.-

78.You've heard Amr Diab's "Ya Nour el Ein" 764363 times in yourlifetime.

79. Your dad always yell at you when you're driving cause the speed limit is 4o and you're going 50.

81. You either tip 2% or 50% but never 15%.

82. When you're invited to some occasion for you and your spouse to go to at 4 ...you show up at 6.

83.When shops have a sale, they call your mom.

84. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years. ....

85.When you come back from University you still have to live with your parents, and fight over curfew all over again, as if you never left them before.

86.You always curse at Arabs when you are back home, but when you live abroad you only make Arab friends.

87.When someone calls you an arab... you tell them you're Egyptian or Palestinian or Syrian...theres a difference

88.you have enough pita bread in your freezer to feed a small african country

89.Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if you're in the next room. ....

90.You have told your or a relative's kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold. ..

91.Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

92.When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where nobody would go to so you won't bump into family or friends.

93.You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with the biggest mouth!!!!!!!

94.You are EXTREMELY proud of being an Arab

95. You know the yahood are responsible for everything (they are!)

[Janna]

Where is Rudy, the clown, he will find this entertaining, the small brain.

[rudy-Diiriye]

which 1 are you referring to, i got several heads!!

 

besides, you know i love yah why the hate crawler

loooool...mac mac abaayo! are u soar cuz i blocked yah off my msnm! well its life let it go!!

[Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar]

 

Ma'ogi waxaa ku qoslaayo, whether it is about the first post or the after later responses, who were more funnier.

[Jacaylbaro]

Salaaaaaaaaaaaama ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[N.O.R.F]

96: Saying hello to someone takes at least 2 minutes, you ask about them, their families, their health, etc

[Strawberry_Xu]

Almost any one of those points could be applied to Somalis.

[Jacaylbaro]

Now i know i'm not Arab ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Thank Allah

[Nehanda]

Shouldn't this be in the Joke section?

Although the points all lack humour.

[Shakti]

i got one 4 them

 

96. ur teeth color is the same color as ur tea color. uff

damn arabs

[Fanisha]

uuuuufffff I am not an Arab. lacagta aduunkoo dhan hadii la isiiyo carab ma noqdeen ish. Dadkan qaarkood Diintii iyo carabta dhaqan kooda ayay is ku khaldayaan..... :mad: :mad:

[RedSea]

Originally posted by rudy:

which 1 are you referring to, i got several heads!!

 

besides, you know i love yah why the hate crawler

loooool...mac mac abaayo! are u soar cuz i blocked yah off my msnm! well its life let it go!!

masheekadii Alleh Ubaahne uu Shez ku hayay ayaad haysaa,I blocked you off my msn kuye,you wish man.

 

okay how do I know that I am not an Arab?

 

well I am black and I dont' speak Arabic.

[Didi Kong]

96. Uni and college going guys dress and act like Italian Ginos and sometimes tell others they are Italians.

 

There you go 96 ways to be Arab!

[N.O.R.F]

Originally posted by Devilangle:

i got one 4 them

 

96. ur teeth color is the same color as ur tea color. uff

damn arabs

You seam to have an obsession with Arabs and yellow teath :confused:

 

Cant say i've ever paid attention to their teath

[Jacaylbaro]

97. You wear Khamees without pants and stroll with it in the streets ,,,,,,,,,,