Resistance Posted March 31, 2006 two people like each other for the sake of allah and wish to mnarry but here is where its gets messy Somali style, different qabiils and the girls' dad will never allow it because of past expriances with an older duaghter that went off with a man and that girl has now cut off the family. so here is the scenario the guy wants the girls' parents bellesinngs since parents are important in Islam. well the girl wants to get married no matter wat but the guy is willing to wait till the parents come round. So how do they get round this, they wanna respect their parents ( the girls parents ) but also know they can still get married since the objection is not based on deen. ur advice and thaughts are needed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guhaad Posted March 31, 2006 sxb if qabiil is the only difference and is therefore relative/comparative to one another (here i am thinking of the laan-dheer vs. laan-la'aan dichotomy, which is even more different than laan-gaab), there really isn't a big problem. rivarlry between clans has never interfered with marriages, hasn't and shouldn't. so, wait for the parents, and it should all be good. btw, tell him if he doesn't want his-tory to repeat itself, he should let the world go around. warning; this is not fatwa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STOIC Posted March 31, 2006 Inevitably, the old guys objection will impact upon my perception about the attitude and the kind of family I am about to have a blood relation with. I will try to do the best of my ability to come up with an appropriate strategy in order to bring the old guy on board. My first step will be to build a communication line through my folks (clansmen, family friends, Imam, Priest, or even the Rabbi). I will try to focus on his internal and external lines of communication (who are his close friends?). This communication will serve to correct any misunderstandings or stereotyping the old guy might have stored in his fetid brain. This may capture his heart and mind .And may be perhaps change his attitude. Many of us are predisposed to respond to certain things in a given way because of our prior experiences.If everything else fails I will put a bumber sticker on my car "Wakisema watachoka" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted April 1, 2006 Tell him to run while he still can. On a serious note Parents always come around; they can't be pissed for ever Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SOO MAAL Posted April 1, 2006 The Prophet SAAWS said: "There is no marriage without the permission of a guardian." [sunan of Abu Dawood 2080, Narrated Abu Musa] Islam gives parents a very high status, because they deserve a great respect. If the father of the girl has a legitimate reason to reject the marriage of his daughter then he has that right. But if the issue is only tribal affiliation of the man then the father is abusing his right, and the advice of culuma is necessary in this matter. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScarFace Posted April 3, 2006 have a talk with the gurls brother maybe he can have a talk with the dad.. If not Its best to leave it mate the parents wont give you their blessings.... so move on plenty of FISH in the sea Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cheeky-girl Posted April 3, 2006 go on ur knees and start begging like u never done that be4 ....well if that doesnt work, then the dude should just get married(but if he messes up then there's the Big "OH OO", and then guess whos' got the last laugh? (no dont look at me>>>>) From: cheeky cheeky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
