Team NGONGE

[NGONGE]

quote:

---

Originally posted by sheherazade:

don't forget u made it through a dinner with a bunch of raving loonies.

Congrats.

Did you say a dinner party? What a delicious coincidence!

 

Call me sad. Judge me as a social misfit. Consider me to have a purposeless life and an empty brain. But, first, let me explain this coincidence I am talking about!

 

Last weekend, I did not get much sleep. My boy was ill and kept on vomiting all night. When he was not vomiting, he had high temperature and when that went down he had an upset stomach. In short, he kept me up with him all that weekend. But when he finally settled down on Sunday night I had time to catch up on some much needed sleep. I went to sleep at seven in the evening and was oblivious to the world for the next twelve hours. This, I know, still does not explain much to you but, trust me, what follows will.

 

It has always been the case that when I go to sleep out of tiredness or just after I've had some cheese I often end up having some magnificently vivid dreams. This is where you and I see eye to eye.

 

The dream I had was all about SOL and it went a little something like this:

 

It was a dull, rainy and mundane Monday morning and I was sat in my office dreading a dull, possibly rainy and mundane meeting I had to go to when my phone suddenly started to ring! I picked it up and heard a soothing radio voice on the other end. It was a female voice. Though I had never heard that voice before in my life, I instantly recognised it as that of our dear Serenity! Her voice had a beautiful Indian lilt to it and she was brashly asking me to dinner! I could sense the shyness in her voice but also could feel the resoluteness of her request, no was not an option. As most people know, in real life, I am a retiring and shy family man but, in dreams, I am a shameless womaniser. This was an opportunity I could not refuse. So, with a touch of arrogance and a dash of self importance, I accepted the invitation and was looking forward to finally meeting luscious Serenity. She gave me the address of the restaurant and told me to be there at six thirty, on the dot.

 

I went to my meeting and spent the next dull, rainy and mundane three hours of that dreary engagement thinking of Serenity and what she would look like! Will she be tall, will she be short, will she be dark, will she be light, will she be interesting or could she possibly be very boring? I could not contain my excitement and everyone in the meeting thought I was having a great time!

 

At the appointed hour, I was stood outside the restaurant waiting for Serenity to arrive! Fifteen minutes later and I was still stood there waiting. It was raining, it was dull and it was mundane. Doubts of being jilted started to creep in but my Serenity would not do that to me, or would she?

 

As I stood there wondering if she will ever come or if I should cut my losses and go home, I suddenly noticed a young lady with half her body almost hidden behind her umbrella pulling at my shirt sleeve! I think she was trying to shake my hand. I looked down but all I could see was the top of the brolly! I grunted something about not having any change on me when I suddenly heard that faimilar Indian lilt. It was Serenity, she came after all. I almost lifted her off the ground in a bear hug but, out of nowhere, I imagined a choir of SOL mullahs shouting ‘adeer xishood oo yarta dhig’!

 

We went into the restaurant and waited to be shown to our seats. A waitress directed us to a lovely waiting area and offered us some drinks. When Serenity sat down opposite me I finally could look her in the eyes and, ooh, what eyes! We spoke about this and that whilst I strongly controlled my urge to hold her hand. I noticed that she was wearing high heels and quietly chuckled to myself about the unnecessary surplus to this perfection that is Serenity!

 

Just as I was about to turn on the charm and have this pretty damsel eating out of my own hands, another walked in! I have never (prior to that night) met a Somali hippy before. But, in the dim lights of that restaurant, it felt as if the SUN just walked in! She floated in and kissed Serenity, nodded to me and sat down. She had an exquisite dress sense and though she wore some loud colours they were subtle enough not to distract from her beauty but, rather, compliment it. In short, she was utterly adorable and I found myself thinking that a miniature liking of her would look great on my key ring! I politely coughed and tilted my head at Serenity. Some of you here may think her thick, dim or even slow on the uptake but in my dream, Serenity was none of these things. She quickly worked out my subtle hint and proceeded to introduce me to Val! YES, the adorable hippy was Val (the only hippy to ever wear a hijab).

 

We sat and talked about this and that again, and I thanked my lucky stars (and last night's cheese) for giving me this unique opportunity to have a chinwag with these pretty ladies. I was spoilt for choice. One minute, I'd longingly look at Serenity's face and immerse myself into the rhythmic waves of her soothing Indian lilt, and the next, I'd dive into Val's straight gaze and swim against the currents of that aloof Somali face. I was like a kid that was let loose in Disneyland and I didn't want this dream to end. But, sadly, from then on things started to get worse!

 

(it's late and I need to get me some sleep. I shall continue the dream in the morning).

[- Femme -]

Hmmm, what happened to the puking graemlin?

[RedSea]

fun to read that was.

[Blessed]

OMG. LOL. *coughs*

[-Serenity-]

Oh my GOD!!! OH MY GOD! @ whats been written.

 

Finish the story please. Then I'll give people the real(my version) account of the evening

[NGONGE]

Have you ever had a dream when everything was going smoothly and lay Angelina Jolie down into your arms (or Brad Pitt, girls) and just as you were about to kiss him/her their face change and you find yourself attempting to kiss the owner of your local corner shop? Or how about a dream where you're happily playing double-dutch when unexpectedly the rope transforms into a giant snake that envelops you and attempts to eat you!

 

As I was sat there with Serenity and Val, my eye caught the pretty waitress gliding by. I kept looking at her and noticed that she was walking towards us. The more steps she took, the quicker her figure started to change. By the time she was towering above us her face took the form of a girl I knew! It was my former neighbour. What was she doing in this dream of mine? I have not seen her for years! This is even worse than Mr Patel and his greasy hair taking Angelina's place. But this was a dream and the main rule of dreams is that one should always go with the flow. Another quick tilt of the head at Serenity and I was informed that my former neighbour is none other than our very own Scheherazade!

 

How weird are dreams, eh? Man hating, angry, opinionated and rabid feminist Scheherazade taking on the form of my gentle, sweet, timid and peaceful former neighbour was the weirdest bit in a dream that I ever had. But there she was and I had no choice but to get on with things. Things of course were starting to get a bit more difficult now. Instead of attempting to charm Serenity and keep Val interested, I now also had to be wary of my former neighbour (or Scheherazade as most of you call her). Instead of talking non-stop I chose to sit there silently and allow each girl to makeup her own mind about me without me running the risk of ruining everything with a misplaced remark or wrong gesture. My strategy worked a treat and I noticed that even my former neighbour was checking me out now!

 

Whoosh! The dream started to get all funky and bizarre. In walked two men and a woman. This was going to be one odd dream. For these two men were not Castro and Xiin, or Baashi and Sheekajaceelka or even rudy and northerner! No, that would have been too sensible in this outlandish dream I was having. The two men turned out to be LST and Emperor! Yes, I can hear your collective ‘wtf’! And, yes, I agree that one usually dreams of those that are fresh in one’s mind or have left a recent strong impression. Neither of these two had done so in the last few months. In fact, they’ve hardly been on SOL. So why was I dreaming of them? Search me..

 

Someone pressed the fast-forward button and I found myself sitting at a table next to my former neighbour and facing the boys. I noticed that poor Val, unable to cope with my strong manly aura and gushing pheromones had decided to bite her tongue and sit as far from me as her weak heart would allow her. Serenity on the other hand, was dying to sit next to me but that evil woman in the form of my old neighbour sat between us like a wretched mother-in-law in a doomed Asian wedding. All I and Serenity were left with were a few stolen glances. I also noticed Val sighing every time she looked my way. But the weird thing that I only managed to recall now is the girl that sat next to Serenity. I can’t remember how she got there and who she was. All I know is that she came with the boys or at the same time as the boys, I’m not sure. I don’t think she was introduced to me but if she was and I forgot her already it’s safe to conclude that she was not the memorable kind. In fact, I can’t even remember what her face looked like. She was a typical dream character. Just a silhouette of a woman!

 

I turned my attention away from the girls and looked at LST but found him to be as active in my dream as he is on SOL. He was, for all intents and purposes, regally quite. Emperor on the other hand was not quite at all. He was dividing his time between making eyes at Serenity and my former neighbour. I noted that the girls were saying unpleasant things about him with their tongues whilst their eyes were magically dancing. I contentedly smiled at this very subtle flirtation and threw Val a quick glance; she narrowed her eyes at me. I crinkled my nose at her. She raised one eyebrow. I winked. She frowned. I looked away.

 

And that is when the dream suddenly started to quicken its pace. I don’t know how it happened but, suddenly, and out of nowhere I found myself facing Mr Wesley Snipes and a couple of his Cash Money Brothers. Who invited Nino Brown!

 

 

(I'm off to lunch)

[N.O.R.F]

It was all a dream,,,,,

[Ibtisam]

^^Yes just a dream.

 

Ngonge! I'm loving it. This is fabulous, please do carry on, tell us what happened with this Nino Brown character!

[Malika]

Ah,I see life and light has returned to SOL..Hehehe

 

Good read yaa Ngonge,anticipating the ending.

[Faheema.]

Originally posted by Northerner:

 

It was all a dream,,,,,

^ I used to read Word-Up magazine...or in this case SOL A magnificently vivid dream indeed lol

[-Serenity-]

Originally posted by NGONGE:

Man hating, angry, opinionated and rabid feminist Scheherazade taking on the form of my gentle, sweet, timid and peaceful former neighbour was the weirdest bit in a dream that I ever had......

 

Serenity on the other hand, was dying to sit next to me but that evil woman in the form of my old neighbour sat between us like a wretched mother-in-law in a doomed Asian wedding.........

 

I noted that the girls were saying unpleasant things about him with their tongues whilst their eyes were magically dancing.

[Ibtisam]

^^You look awfully pleased!! HAHAH, I guess the griping fear Ngonge had over you is wearing off, now that you had dinner in his dreams.

 

 

Sheherazade, not only has he ruined your name, he is trashing your image.

[NGONGE]

He was a giant of a man. Softly spoken and with a penchant for Page Three Girls! In my dream, he came across as some sort of witch doctor or mystic healer. He actually had the prerequisite beard for such a fancy occupation. Beneath the beard and the funky hair though, one could easily see those tiny piercing eyes that could see right through one's soul. At first, my former neighbour received the full attention of the mystic man, and she gave as good as she got. But then, and with typical grace, Serenity entered the fray and started to argue with Mr Brown about some inconsequential topics! I was not paying attention to the conversation itself but rather was taken by the saucy flirtation that was taking place. The faces were of course stern, the words harsh but the eyes were most definitely smiling!

 

Whilst all this was going on (or maybe before), a former Arsenal striker sneaked in and, in the most understated way, sat himself down. I was flabbergasted but nobody else seemed to pay too much attention! It was as if having former Arsenal strikers at their dinner table was a normal thing for them. Still, like everything in this dream of mine, Thierry started smiling at me and telling me that he always wanted me banned from SOL! I do hope he doesn't have the same ideas in real life.

 

This dream was getting a little overcrowded and I was finding it hard to keep up. I even noticed that ten minutes had passed since the last time I glanced Val's way. But the pace of the damn thing was not letting up a jot. Several waiters appeared from nowhere and a collection of menus was shoved in our faces. It was time to order our food.

 

It is a sad state of affairs when one can't present Somalis in a good light even in a dream. But, deprived of our usual diet of rice and meat, it seemed that everyone struggled to choose a proper starter or meal. The discussion ceased and we were all lost in our separate menus trying to understand the fancy names therein. This is when my former neighbour came to her own. Being the travelling gypsy that she always was, she didn't have much trouble in working out what each dish was. But, being the woman that she is, she still struggled to decide what dish to choose. I gently prodded her and softly guided her to some delicious looking dishes in that menu and she, bless her soul, finally decided to make the order for both of us. It gave me great satisfaction to think that she went away believing those choices were really hers and that my masterful guidance had nothing to do with it!

 

The speed at which this dream was moving meant that I don't even remember what the starter was. I believe it was some sort of chicken but, if pushed, I can't honestly confirm this hunch of mine. Myself and my former neighbour (who as you all know now, was my current neighbour at that table) made good work of the starter and finished it in no time. During our total demolition of that tasty but easily forgotten starter, I quietly realised that Val was still pinning for me! It was as if we were telepathic. I mean the girl not only ordered the same starter as me, she ordered the same main meal as well!

 

Just as we were all tucking into our starters, a bumbling Adonis of a man staggered in. This was yet another character from SOL! He was tall (ish), he was handsome and he was extremely clumsy. It was not that he was overweight or excessively lanky but, still, there was something amiss about his coordination. Though the limbs were in proportion, they still were all over the place. At that point, I wanted to ask Nino the healer to diagnose the problem but he was busy arguing with the forgotten girl about some spiritual matters.

 

We, by now, had the full complement of SOLERS and I was told by Serenity that no new people were expected. I didn't believe her of course. This was a dream and in dreams anything can happen.

 

Still, just before my meal arrived, I had a quick scan around the table to see the various faces again and suss them out. To my right sat Thierry, to my left sat my former neighbour followed by Serenity with the forgotten girl to her left and the bumbling Adonis right at the end (it turns out that this man was Caano Geel)! Every time Adonis moved on his end of the long seat we were sat on I felt myself flying from my end. Facing me sat the healer, the lion molester, emperor and Val. As you can see, there was something amiss about the distribution of males and females on that table. All the girls, even the forgotten shadow seemed to be sitting on my side. Only Val resisted the urge to jump into my lap! I suggested that people should swap places but my plea was drowned in the spiritual argument between Nino and the forgotten girl! This dream was getting weirder by the minute yet more weirdness is still to come.

 

(I have to go do some work for a bit now).

[-Serenity-]

Ghamina, Its a very funny dream, thats all

 

Just as we were all tucking into our starters, a bumbling Adonis of a man staggered in. This was yet another character from SOL! He was tall (ish), he was handsome and he was extremely clumsy. It was not that he was overweight or excessively lanky but, still, there was something amiss about his coordination. Though the limbs were in proportion, they still were all over the place. At that point, I wanted to ask Nino the healer to diagnose the problem but he was busy arguing with the forgotten girl about some spiritual matters.

Oh my GOD! I might have to join the kix kix qax qax gang at this rate.

 

Cannot wait for the dream to finish.

 

p.s. You simply have to give the 'forgotten girl' her due NG! It just wouldnt be fair.

[sheherazade]

Don't have the time now or tonight but rest assured dhiigiisaan shubaya. I will then feed it to my other alter ego, the timid one that checked him out and he'll regret ever having dreamed of dreaming of writing about a storyteller. I sug saaxib, hadaanaan kaa so mantajin hilibkaan wax kaa siiyey.

 

I know where your wife lives.