7TH S.O.L Academy Awards.

[najma82]

BOB, nice story there bro

 

But i can't believe our sisters are putting down our brothers like that.....shame on u girls

 

And look at this brothers...what kinda plan is it when you're gonna take a revenge from ur own sisters...two wrongs doesn't make it right...

 

Please continue bob

[Raxmah]

Great read Bob. Funny and creative

 

Wondering what the ladies were brewing at their meeting. Looks like one great Oscar party.

[Viking]

BOB,

LOOL@ Channel O! Damn, you have the memory of an elephant! It reminds me of the American movies where the police say "Anything you say may be used against you as evidence..."

 

akakakaka...Mbona una nitupisha mbao hivyo beste? Ati nafanyia mamanzi 50 push-ups ndio wani kubalie kuingia hiyo bash? Viking wa "kikweli" ange wa ambia hawo masupuu wako mlangoni...ISHIIIA!!! using the hand to further emphasize the word...halafu aende CarniVorous (au F2) kukatia masupuu walalo That is kama ningekuwa sina manzi already!

 

Lakini hiyo risto yako noma!

[Medley of extemporanea]

How did I manage to miss the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th SOL Academy Awards?

[BOB]

Originally posted by Viking:

akakakaka...Mbona una nitupisha mbao hivyo beste? Ati nafanyia mamanzi 50 push-ups ndio wani kubalie kuingia hiyo bash?

LooooooooooooooooooooooooL, ati nime kutupisha mbao? siweze mzee na unajua wewe mwenyewe BOB ni beste wako lakini nilikuwa nataka nijuwe kama bado unaweza kufanya tizi .

 

usijali hawa ma' dame na sisemi kama ume jamba wakati ulikuwa nafanya tizi kwa sababu hiyo ni aibu ausio mzee .

 

i pray bibi haujui kiswahili ama ata kufukuza kwa nyumbani aki sikiya ulikuwa na kata supuu moja (siwezi kusema jinalake ).

 

 

wacha Carnivore tulienda Safari Park Hotel na wa dame makada sikumbuki kama walikuwa sita au nane .

 

Viking...Respect My Brother.

 

 

Haniif,

 

my brother,I don't care what the Admin told you but the truth is "He snapped you and chose not to invite you to those previous parties" but since I was given the task to organize this particular one, I decided to invite all the nomads because as you know BOB is for the people and by the people and you have every right to have a good time and dance or even flirt openly with every girl you want including those that came with their partners and if any one of them refuses to dance with you just come and tell me and I will either throw them out or make her dance with you, how is that bro? .

 

 

PS. BOB, is here and has been here ever since Moi was still the president of Kenya and Saddam Hussein was still the president of Iraq so "somebody else" posted that topic without my knowledge and it wont happen again Insha Allah.

 

Peace,Love & Unity.

[BOB]

"Now ladies, I know most of you are wondering why we called this meeting but believe me when I say this its for your own good" says FF.

 

"I have no idea what you are talking about and I am sure most girls in here think likewise" adds Raula.

 

"Ok listen up girls, we all remember what happened last year when most of us lost their purses and I don't know about you ladies but mine was expensive as it was D&G and I was told that it was Qac Qaac who stole it and I am here to make him pay for it" threatens X_Quizite.

 

"I agree with X, those Tuugs among the good brothers should pay for what they did and instead of generalizing all and making an innocent brother suffer for a crime he didn't commit I think we should go after those rotten apples, those we know of and give them Hell†says Bishaaro.

 

"Excuse me Girlfriend? Haven't you heard the new saying of there is no innocent Faarax? the last good Faarax that I knew of died of Malaria back in Utange and to this day I am yet to meet even a half decent Faarax so I say lets give them their own medicine" says Nova_*.

 

"I always wanted to see Faarax down on his knees begging for mercy" says Emerald.

 

"Now, lets hear everybody's plan and how we should go about" says FF.

 

"I think we should stick chewing gum on their seats" says Layzie_Girl.

 

"well, I think we should give them fake names and fake phone numbers because I am sure they will all be bugging us including those who we know are married for our numbers and names" says Pacifist.

 

"I think, we should give them fake addresses, my neighbour has a mbwa kali and I can already picture a Faarax knocking on the door asking for me and few seconds later running for his dear life screaming "Allah Hooyooy, Waa Wareey". says Raula.

 

"I think we should boo at every faarax that goes up to receive an award so that we could humiliate them and make them feel little" says Dawoco.

 

"are you kidding me? War Balaayo, How about if he throws the statue at us as we all know Faarax is always short tempered, I don't think I can handle a new daqar on my cute head now" mourns Ms Word.

 

"not to mention shaving all the hair off my head which is the ultimate embarrassment to any self respecting lady" adds *Diamante*.

 

"I don't know if you will agree with me but I think we should pour loads of laxative in their drinks and break all the bathroom including ours except for one and sit back and watch as they run back and forth to the single batroom in the whole house that is not broken all night long while we have the party and awards all to ourselves" suggest Juxa.(Allah Xaasidsanaa).

 

They all start to laugh and giggle and immediately they all agree on Juxa's idea and they decide to put a liter of laxative in every 5 liter of juice which is cruel and a crime committed against guys and being the most unfortunate guy who drunk the most juice, Juxa should've been sent to jail because only God knows how painful experience it was and how exhausting its to run to the bathroom every 7 minutes.

 

"just close your eyes and picture Baashi and underdog fighting and arguing who should be first or Quantum_Leap and Sophist racing to the bathroom and tell me that doesn't qualify as the most exciting sight you've ever witnessed in your entire life†brags Juxaa.

 

 

"All the nomads please take your seats, please take your seats and let the 7th S.O.L Academy Awards begin and we would like to ask each and every nomad to be a good sport whether you win or lose doesn't matter, what matters most here is, we are all winners" announces the Admin over the loud speaker.

 

“I feel more like being inside of Big Brother house rather than in a Hope Road mansion watching S.O.L Academy Awards" says Qori.

 

"what do you mean?" I ask.

 

"we are still told what to do and what we should do, what does he mean by being a good sport? How can I be happy when I just lost, is he crazy?" asks Qori.

 

"yeah, I know what you mean but isn't it great to laugh at the losers and taunt them and joke about the so-called winners acceptance speech, because I am sure we will see another crazy and memorable scene where we will have a delirious nomad hugging every person around and thanking every tree on earth like that crazy Italian who won an Oscars on The Best Foreign Film category few years back, what was his name again?" I ask.

 

"you mean Roberto something, the dude who acted & directed that Italian movie called "Life is Beautiful" right? and ran over every guest and went on to thank every pet in his neighbourhood back in Italy and in the end had to be dragged from the stage after going on and on with his own brand of English?" asks Conspiracy.

 

"yeah, that is the one." I reply.

 

"who do you think will play the role of Roberto(I don't remember his surname) tonight?" asks Qori.

 

"if not two of you then I think its between Nuune and Ngonge for the guys while i nominate Besbaaso and Psycho-Sue for the girls" I reply.

 

"BOB, I think you are jealous of us since you haven't been nominated" brags Conspiracy.

 

"me being jealous? you are dreaming bro, to me seeing some of these girls up close and personal means more to me than a bloody little statue that will be no use to me" I reply.(lying of course )

 

"BOB, don't worry I will mention your name in my speech" says Qori.

 

"but you have to clap and scream on top of your voice and jump up down or I will snap you and pretend like I don"t even know you" threatens Conspiracy.

 

"waraa, i am not your bloody pet, jump up and down kulahaa, do i look like a monkey to you" i reply becoming annoyed with his comments.."do you think I care if you mention my name or not? in the eyes of all the residents in my village back in Africa I am the biggest celebrity there is as they even ask me to give my Autograph to their livestock, how many nomads do you know that have been asked of an Autograph by a donkey,monkey,lion,elephant,camel or even a goat?†I ask them.

 

"Woow, that is impressive and news to me, I never knew animals were into Autographs" says Conspiracy.

 

"Bro, African animals are lot smarter than those in the west" I tell them.

 

"BOB come on now, that is impossible, there is no animal in the world that would ask you of such thing" says Qori.

 

Before I could give them prove we were interrupted by the Admin's speech (again) through the loud speakers which were irritating me now because being African man I am not used to all this bloody noise.

 

"All the nomads please stand up for the Somalia national anthem and show emotion and patriotism as you sing the national anthem of the greatest country in the world" he orders.

 

Yeah I found that as an order because there were a lot of old nomads and some others who had a painful backache (there is no Xulbo or Xabasoda in America or Europe) who couldn't stand up and there were lot of nomads who had a sore throat (there is no genuine Malab in America or Europe) who couldn't utter a word let alone sing yet they were too scared to ignore the Admin's orders so they were all crying but many of you including the Admin thought they were crying out of love and patriotism when the simple fact is they were crying out of the pain they were feeling during those minutes our national anthem was being played.

 

 

To Be Continued....

[Janna]

Bob

I'm dying of laughter. You are a creative character. And talented when it comes to stories like such. Keep it up.

Cant wait to see who wins.

[BOB]

of all the weird stuff I posted why the hell did you choose to remind me about this if you're my "friend". there comes a time in your life when you stop and go "Oh My God" and this is one of those moments when every bloody thing turns into...never mind.

 

I just cannot believe I went through such trouble to entertain you selfish SOLERS without getting paid even one ndruru.

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[- Femme -]

Bobby dear, be a sweatheart and finish it. I'm bored here.

[Shakti]

Yesterday b4 i left work i printed all 37 pages of this thread, just 2 see the reason behind all these praising 4 mr bob

 

Words can not describe how funny this thread is.. i stop reading it while was ridding metro coz i was giggling 2 much.

 

where the hell is this dude?

[SoMa_InC]

Same here, I printed out all the pages and read it on my way to work. It was entirely an excellent read.

 

Bob, wonderful and breathtaking stuff; as usual I salute you.

 

Bless.

 

Peace.