7TH S.O.L Academy Awards.

[Pacifist]

Bafana Bafana take that since you called me chipolopolo ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!! We gonna kick some behind you Watch..

 

"OMG, you are scaring me now, Faarax aa? let them try and see what happens but i admit i wont mind talking to a Faarax who can sing a Maxi Priest song for me and climb up on the table and dance in front of the whole crowd then i might be tempted to tell him my nickname" says Pacifist with a smile.

 

LOooooooooooooooooooooooooool You know me too well

 

Carry on

[Bess.]

as always awe inspiring and totally a genius.... ...

[J.Lee]

^^^War balaayo, No salt, and pepper stop sucking up You kiss a!s.

 

Bob, as always awe inspiring and totally a genius laakiinse maandhow (Good to have you back BTW) in case I lose let Bill Gates be my consolation price. (Hint )

[Baashi]

For the record, the talented Bob has been pocketing bundles of Shillings from Juxa and the whole sis gang. Waxaa la yiri news is reporting that Bob the qaat-addict jokore from Isiloo (siyooloow) made a lot of money (under the table) on his latest write up the Caano Garroor award review for Warba Ma Heysaan magazine . Anonymous sources that have contacted to Waxaa la yidhi news have confirmed that eleven kilo of miiroow, two kilo of Hareeri, and nus kilo and tumin of Garaabo bribe was all it took to make him report in favor of the payees. Nomads, it’s the money that makes him talk this way .

 

On a serious note, Bob put smile on my face. Creative and talented, that he is. All the faryareey on my limbs up.

 

Sooma daayoow ha igu soo deyn Bal maxaa i wata.

[BOB]

Pacifist,

OMG, did you see how they kicked our behind in our own backyard :mad: ? I can't believe you are rooting for the West Africans instead of your Southern Boyz but you know what we are going to chase your Chipolopolo out of our country and from now on no more training freely in our Stadiums and all our corporate companies will immidiately STOP sponsoring them including NIKE Africa which is based here in Jo'burg.

 

 

Besbaaso aka Miss Pilipili,

 

Good to know you are still down for the revolution unlike Ms Word who betrayed us .

 

 

Ms Word aka War Balaayo,

 

Did you know that Bill Gates came to the party but couldn't get past Athena & Barwaaqo and I was told that the security beat the billions out of him because apparently he just wouldn't stop "pretending" to be Bill Gates and take off the mask and reveal the Faarax hiding behind it. I know its SAD but that is Athena & Barwaaqo for you :confused: .

 

 

Baashi,

 

You ruined all my reputation and Master Plan that I have been busy putting on together all these years by revealing that I was indeed a JOKORE "Chokora" and not the son of Nairobi Mayor.

 

Bro, maxaa waaye xaasidnimada laakiin adiga Aggah? Caano Beele Waa ogtahay inuu qaadka qiimihiisa uu kor ukacay because the Merus stopped drinking Changa these days and they drink Smirnoff and lacagtii Shillinka aheedna hoos aye udhacday marka hadaad bilcaamahaan islahaa bal bishii wax haisugu kaa soo dar daraan aa igu dirtay maxaan sameen ani markaan? jeebsiibkii inaa ku noqdo maa rabtaa oo mar kale 10 sano Shimo La Tewa laigu tuuro ileeyn xamaali ma noqon karo oo ninkaan caatada badan oo uu jaad iyo habeen soo jeedka dilooday ayaan ahee?

 

Adigana nin tol iyo qaraabo ah ma tihid oo waxaa tahay GEEL BEELE aan dadka soo salaameen markuu maqlo BOB aa isagoo marduuf jaad eh la cararaayo ayaa guul wadeyaasha qabteen oo waa la xiray.

 

Waryaa magaalada hanaga cayn Aggah, GARISSA dheh maxay tahay Isiolo aad sheegi, mimi sio Borana, niaje jo…LoooooooooooooL. Peace To You Bro.

 

PS. I loved the "Waxaa La Yiri" newspaper but i believe we got a better one in Al Facshir here in Garissa Jannaay aka "Little Paradise". .

 

 

Peace,Love & Unity.

[BOB]

After watching brother after brother getting humiliated while all the girls were treated with respect and genuine kindness I decided to move on as I couldn't stomach such cruelty and seek a familiar face that I could hang out with and I was soon in the company of the Lads having a real good time while drinking every juice I came across after all they were FREE.

 

some of the juice were way past their sell by date (Hey Mr Admin, Whats Up With That?)but unfortunately these days it's become a trend among the Somali Zabta (Allah Bari)in laisku beer gooyo sharaab dhacay ama moos ceyriin ah ama mid baq baqay iyo bariis aan cusbo leheen ama aan si fiican loo karin iyo in bisnbaas laisu duugo ama hilibka gacmaha lagu wada qabsado oo meesha bariis qaleel ah lee lagusoo reebo.

 

to me it was cool as I can play rough with a Ciyaal Maamo boy when needed or play fair unlike some of the brothers who were complaining like rafikiyangu Jumatatu who kept on raving about a Zab he once attended in Utange back in the day and if I am not mistaken I believe he swore that people in Utange know how to prepare Somali dishes far better compared to these at 7th S.O.L Academy Awards.

 

 

Finally everybody invited was inside and I was only too happy to be under the same roof with some nomads particularly the ladies as I enjoyed interacting and having a friendly chat and at times even flirting with them but unfortunately no girl was willing to give me her phone number unlike some brothers I know, yeah the likes of Qori_Xabaalan,Conspiracy,nuune,SoMa_InC, Checkmate,Baashi,Bachelor,$187$ who managed to get the phone numbers of many girls (I will reveal the names of those girls in the latter parts )and then there was my friend Caveman who I must admit first scared the devil out of me with his date and no, not because she was ugly or anything but you'd swear on your NUTS she was a Clown because of the excessive powder on all over her FACE and for once i thought some one must've told them that the lights will be switched off and Caveman thought he will loose her in the darkness so he insisted she make herself VISIBLE (waxaa Xan igusoo gaartay inuu saaxiibkeey Caveman MASEEROW yahay)and i can't blame him for that as there were a whole lot of sharks roaming around but a reliable source told me it was actually a BOOR (dust or Vumbi) rather than a powder as that is a luxury to the masses living in the outback of Kalahari Desert where their CAVE is located.

 

I took my seat and I happened to sit between my homeboy Qori_Xabaalan and Conspiracy who was man enough and honest enough to tell me how he was treated and for the first time I laughed so hard that Emerald got annoyed with me and threw few not so nice words at my way.

 

"BOB and Qori_Xabaalan, promise you wont tell anybody about this" asked Conspiracy.

 

"you know your secret is save with us" Qori assured him.

 

"this isn't a secret but a humiliation so whatever you do just make sure you go that secret to your graves" he said in a slow tone.

 

"sure, no problem".we said.

 

"I was forced to strip to my boxers in front of everybody" reveals Conspiracy.

 

Qori starts to laugh immediately.

 

"that is nothing to be ashamed of as you are in a good shape,imagine if you were an overweight with big fat belly with hairy nipples,now that would've been much worse" I tell him.

 

"Bro, you don't understand, not only was I forced to strip to my boxers but jump up and down as well and do you know the worst part of it all?" asks Conspiracy.

 

"tell us please" replies Qori with a smile.

 

"they made me mow the grass and wash all the guests cars including Nin-Yaaban's beat down Taxi" he says with sadness.

 

"don't worry about that" I tell him.

 

"I must worry bro, I can't afford to see my face on Al Facshir daily wearing a pink boxers with hearts and cupid arrows all over it and worse I was smiling because I thought it was only the three of us (him, Athena & Barwaaqo) now can you imagine what the girls will think of me when they see me wearing a pink boxers with a smile?" he asks worryingly.

 

"Oouch,that is tough my brother" replies Qori.

 

We were interrupted by the arrival of Dawoco who came over to say Hi to us and Conspiracy reminded me and Qori once again not to say a word to her.

 

"Hi Guys?" says Dawoco.

 

"Hi Dawoco" Conspiracy & Qori reply.

 

"Hi BOB, how you doing and how is Africa?" she asks.

 

"Hey Dawoco,i am doing great thanks and for Africa, well..things are getting tough all over the continent these days from Cape to Cairo, because in Egypt we have the women accusing the government supporters of abuse, in Central Africa Republic we have the trial of the mercenaries,in Chad they are not happy with Sudan and the whole Darfur thing,in Kenya there is an ethnic clash between the Kikuyus and the Masais and in Zimbabwe Robert "BOB" Mugabe reckons his army are 10 times stronger than Iraq army and says they can easily deal with English Army if they ever attacked Zimbabwe and then there is South Africa whose vise president Jacob Zuma will be prosecuted for corruption just days after he was sacked by President Thabo Mbeki..."

 

"bye BOB" says Dawoco before I could finish.

 

"BOB, are you retarded or something?" asks Conspiracy.

 

"What makes you say that?" I reply.

 

"Dude,what was that all about? Who cares what Magabo or Mabako does?" he asks.

 

"she asked how was Africa and I was telling her about it, what is wrong with that and by the way its Mugabe and Mbeki" I reply.

 

"Whatever man,look the point here is she didn't ask you about how every country in Africa is.." he replies.

 

"she said how is Africa, didn't she?" I reply.

 

"Listen mate, she was only being friendly and I think you just missed a golden opportunity to get to know her better because she broke the ice and gave you a life time opportunity to talk to her but you blew it with your daft news bulletin" he says...normally when a girl asks you a question like that..you were supposed to give her a totally different reply all together and catch her off guard" he continues.

 

"Awoowgiis La Jannee, are you asking me to LIE here? adigaaba war haya. What am I supposed to say bal, tell me?" I ask.

 

"instead of reading the 7 o'clock news you should've said..Africa hasn't been the same ever since you left it and Africa isn't known as the Dark Continent any longer as they changed it into Pitch Black continent because it lost its sole and shining bright light" he says.

 

"with all due respect sxb, you were complaining about me reading the 7 o'clock news but you just read the Autobiography of Fidel Castro, come on now bro how on earth can you expect me to memorize an Autobiography?" I ask feeling confused.

 

"Bro, nobody said it is easy to Shukaansi a Somali girl" he replies.

 

"nobody said to Shukaansi a Somali girl was hard either and you need to read a novel just to get to know her name, Dude, I think you should come back with me to Africa where courting a girl is still simple and unsophisticated because you can see I am certainly not a guy who is sophisticated as I am a simple guy and prefer the simplicity in life including courting a girl" I reply.

 

"no wonder you came alone BOB" he says.

(I look around to see if there was any girl that came with him)

 

"Bro, if I am not mistaken I believe you came alone too so we are in the same boat here" I tell him.

 

"Dude, that is the beauty in it, because if I came with a girl how would I leave and go home with another?" he asks grinning from ear to ear thinking he is God's gift to women.

 

"I don't know about that but i am sure time will tell if you will go home alone like many of us here or get to be asked "Aboowe Conspiracy kaale idhoweey" by a girl." i say.

 

"BOB, do you want to bet?"he asks.

 

"i only got 85 Cents that i want to buy with mosquito coil Bro" i reply.

 

"that will do" he says.

 

"No way, i am not going to bet with my last 85 Cents bro but just in case if you are asked to Dhoweey a girl please don't ask me to accompany you, just do me that favour" i ask him.

 

"BOB,no disrespect Bro but i can't afford to be seen with you as you will ruin everything after you start reading your 8 o'clock Chinese news, just watch and learn from me and Qori and see how do it" brags Conspiracy.

 

"BOB, don't worry you will get a girl to dance with just stop talking about Africa, i mean don't even mention a word of Africa, people are here to have fun so lay low with your heart breaking African stories" says Qori_Xabaalan.

 

To Be Continued....

 

 

Peace,Love & Unity.

[lol]

Conspiracy... waa dhimatay ma noolid... Pink boxers... damn.. talk about being obssessed drag king

[Conspiracy]

LOL hey dude i don't do car handwash with my boxer for two girls unless they paying me extra extra :cool:

[Pucca]

^lol i believe you just did.. good read!

[Baashi]

^^^^ hadana kix kix kax. Big ups to my boy BOB. Buddy u sure got a sense of humor. What a humble guy! Dadka qaar waaba ila dagaali lahaayeen hadaan ku dhihi lahaa "qaad-addict JOKORE" But my boy BOB is bigger than that he knows the street smart and degree from school of hard knocks is a badge of honor to showcase.

 

Inna Odoow as they say down in Garisa Janaay; Inna Aabo u r def'ly an emerging poet with qadiyad that reaches as high as stratsphere...keep ur chin up pal.

 

Sxb maxaa i habaareysaana GEEL BEELE CAANO BEELE is curse like no other dee. Without she-camel life is dull in QOOQAANI-HUUSINGOOW-KULBIYOOW triangle...with Lo' and geeso-yar alone no ODAY can get by and u know that! Take it back or else!

 

Btw lovely Barwaaqo and petite Athena knew that the gathering needed an ODAY to bless the whole thing and they wisely let me pass without any disrespect. The rumor has it that NGONGE, CHECKMATE, and UNDER DOG have not been that lucky.

 

Also let it be known that the LION-TEASER and GUHAAD the-thunder-man brought in a fake trophy - it was not a genuine DHIIL full of CAANO GAROOR!

 

Who won again?

 

AL-FACSHIR news is Arabic...wanna be original sxb - "Waxaa la yiri" is as Somali as it can get.

[nuune]

Bob, MaashaaAllaah, very creative indeed, sxb you should publish this into a single book.

 

 

ps: sxb, always keep a copy of your stories

[underdog]

I guess there was no incident with my entry...

 

 

I stepped out off my scooter and the 2 sentries, dropped the mics and ran for cover.

[BOB]

Cons,

Sup Bro.

I know you wouldn't as its against your PRINCIPLES but I could understand if you only washed the cars of the ladies but Ngonge's and Nin-Yaaban's beat down taxis :confused: ? its all LOVE bro and remember I WILL KEEP MY WORD have no fear .

 

 

Baashi,

Macallinka Weyn...

Soomaalida wexee ku maahmaahdaa Ragga Runta Kama Nixiso, marka waxaa ahay nin la qabtay oo ceebtiisa bannaanka lasoo dhigay maadaama aa PROFESSIONkeyga iyo BACKGROUNDkeyga aa bannaanka soo dhigtay waa inaa madaxa iska xoqdaa oo aa CALAA CALEEG iska dhahaa.

 

Waxaa tahay RAGGEEDII and as you know Raggeedii are scarce these days as Reer Baadiyes made them an endangered species with their IL ADEEG, MARAXNIMO and SHUKAANSI QAAB DARAN so we must cherish the few that is left with us other wise we will miss out marka BOB marnaba kaama xanaaqaayo ee ogoow .

 

Haddaaba KHOOKHAANI,HOOSINGOOW iyo KULBIYOOW aa taqaanid WALLAH gacanaa kuu taage because to be honest only RAGGEEDII would know towns like these and I am sure you also know AF MADOOW (meeshaan iligii iigu horeeyey laiiga siibay) JOORRE (meeshii laigu guday) CAGTAA LEHEL (meeshaan quraanka ku bartay) XALIIMO CADDEEY (meeshaan ku dhaanto bartay) BUULO XAAJI (meeshaan shukaansiga ku bartay) JANNAA CABDALLA (meeshaan gabartii iigu horeesay kula dhaanteeyey) LEHELEEY (meeshaan gabaygeygii jaceelka ugu horeeyey ku tiriyey) BEER XAANI (meeshii iigu horeesay ee aan geel ku qaado) CAG LIBAAX (meeshii iigu horeesay ee aan libaax ku dilo) DHOOBLEEY (meeshii iigu horeesay ee aan laan qaad ku cuno) GARISSA JANNAAY..Ilaahow Haiga Qaadin(meeshii iigu horeesay ee aan ku marqaamo) HABAAS WEYN oo ku taasha WAJEER (Wajir) (meeshaan CASTLE ka dhisan doono mustqabalka Insha Allah) ugu dambeentii magaalo yar oo udhow garissa oo la dhaho IJAARAA oo ah meeshee the QUEEN of my future castle lives and her father is asking for no less than 200 Camels, marka Baashi, Awoowgiis La Janneeyow, caano ma beeloow Geeloowgaada dhoor neef maiga siin aan tirada ku buuxsade? BRO, you are SUPERSTAR and Peace, Love and My Respect To You.

 

 

Ar Nuune waayee daya, ina aaboow adiga beryahaan meejaan waalagaa waayee maogtehe? ogoow inaan gugaan gugiisa aniga EERLAAN usoo socdo oo geelow kaasoo doonan,haa.

 

waxaan maqle in Gaalo Caddiinta aad dhulkooda joogta inee geelowgii ciddeena soo qaadeen adigana aad iska aamusantehe, haddee meeshana kaadi geelka in si daran looga cabana waan maqle marka ina aaboow ceeb hanoo keenin ee kuguma ogi kaadi geelka ee gaal caddinta dhanto, ma aqaan magacee ugu yeeraan GENIS iyo waxbee sheegi laakiin kaadi geel waaun kaadi geel ee iska ilaali,ina aaboow teeda Bilcaamaha Gaal Caddinta iska ilaali inkastoo ee Geel rabin hadana waxaan maqle Shillin iyo Takar xun bee leeyihiin ee ina aaboow ka foggow, habeenkiina markaad seexan aqalka ooda si fiican isaga saar, meel fog baa joogtaa oo hadduu libaax kuqaado aniga kaama soo gaari karee iyaah, haye dheh ina aaboow. Xasha ilaahoow Nuunaaygaana noo dhaaf.

 

thanks for the LOVE Bro, its always nice to see you as DHAANTO ISN'T A DHAANTO without you leading the chorus .Peace 2 You My Brother.

 

 

Underdog,

Bro, wait until we go inside and you meet some of the ladies as that is when your "Special Episode" begins and believe me no scooter will be fast enough to save your neck . Thanks For Stopping By.

 

 

Peace,Love & Unity.

[Valenteenah.]

Originally posted by underdog:

I stepped out off my scooter and the 2 sentries, dropped the mics and ran for cover.

LoL...yeah, ur hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts probably gave us a fright.

 

 

BOB...make UD's humiliation specially tasty.

[BOB]

I looked up at the clock on the wall (yeah I am allergic to wrist watch) and I realize we got an hour or so before the show finally begins and since my mates Qori & Cons deserted me I decided to go and say Iska Warama to the lads and some of the girls that I am FRIENDS with but it was Nuune whom I first talked to and he seemed to be in a cheerful mood because he told me that the Admin guaranteed him an Oscar but what my dear friend Nuune forgot to mention is that the Admin had no power whatsoever over who would win an Oscar and who doesn't as it was the fans who chose the winners and not the Admin plus there was no way that Bush-like stunt could be repeated but unfortunately I couldn't gather the courage to tell my friend that so I decided to let him find out for himself.

 

 

"Waraa BOB, how are you bro?" greets Checkmate.

 

"Checkmate, I am doing fine bro and you?" I reply.

 

"I am doing fine thanks,listen Bro,can I speak with you in private?" he asks.

 

"Sure" I reply.

 

We go to this empty room where most of the guys were and they all seemed to be arguing about something especially Baashi and Quantum_Leap and after greeting them all, I took my seat expecting to hear why they needed to see me urgently as I am like a Banana amongst the watermelon and green pepper and where I come from they call me "Meel Walbo Yaaloow Moos".

 

 

"Look BOB, we called you into this meeting because we think you could play a vital role here and we are confident that you wont let us down" says Sophist.

 

"what is it exactly that you are talking about here, i mean be specific please?" i ask.

 

"Our dear friend Rudy's human rights have been violated here by Athena & Barwaaqo after they asked him to do 50 press ups in front of the girls and while he was at it some girls took a picture of him and now we're told by Bachelor that he’s seen the same photos on Al Facshir website and brother Rudy called this meeting and asked us to help him put one over the same girls that he feels disrespected him" explains Viking.

 

"is it only Rudy or we are talking about more here" I ask looking directly at Viking.

 

"No, No, it is only him, do you think I would allow to be disrespected like that in front of everybody?" he replies nervously.

 

"So what are you guys suggesting here?" I ask. (i watched with my own two eyes the humiliation exercise of 98% percent of the brothers in the room and yet here they are denying it all and worse lying to my face).

 

"Well, Nin-Yaaban suggested that we should pour an oil over the seats of all those girls that are nominated while Qac Qaac suggested that we should put a Superglue on their seats including the Admin's,Jamaal's and Nuune's and stick them all to their seats while Ngonge suggested we should cut off the power off the whole building and start a food fight while Baashi suggested to throw a fire crackers in there and after everybody runs for a cover loot the bloody Oscars and sell it to Somalinet on cheap but I suggested we should throw a rotten eggs at every girl that is declared a winner so that we can humiliate them in front of the whole world and I am sure even Al Facshir, with all their brave and dedicated reporters wont even dare come close to a girl smelling of rotten eggs" reveals Sophist.

 

"you guys are all nuts if you are here masterminding such things" I reply with a chuckle.

 

"you are either with US or against US one of the two BOB, wareer badanaa" replies Garab.

 

"BOB, stop playing Angel here, you know you loved all the ideas that is why you are laughing (its true, I was laughing hard this time, hey who wouldn't after hearing what I just heard?). replies Underdog.

"Underdog you are right Bro, I loved all the ideas especially the Admin, Jamaal and Nuune part, but don't you guys think that we are going over board with all these crazy suggestions, I am sorry our dear friend Rudy's reputation has been tarnished here but what if the Superglue never comes off, remember the movie American Pie? or what if some one decides to throw a glass instead of piece of cake or worse what if some one contracted an unknown disease from the oil of Nin-Yaaban's car because lets be honest here, we all know the kind of oil he uses, I believe there's too much risk involved with the oil and I believe we should exclude it from the plans, now, about the rotten eggs, I love that idea and I can already see Raula or Hibo or Dawoco or Juxa or *Diamante* or Femme-Fatale or Ms Word or Nova_* or Dark Angel or Najma82 or even Pacifist being hit with a rotten egg while standing in front of the whole world hugging their little statues and paying homage to every creature on earth that they came contact with, I love that idea but who amongst us in here is man enough to carry out the plan?" I ask.

 

"we can ask Beerta Xayawaanka to do it after unleashing the animal in him." suggests Baashi.

 

"who the CNN is Beerta Xayawaanka†we all ask at once.

 

"come on guys, stop pretending, you all know him." He replies seeming surprised that no one really knows anybody called Beerta Xaywaanka.

 

"just tell us who bloody Beerta Xayawaanka is" asks Underdog furiously.

 

"I am talking about the dude who calls himself Animal-Farm" he replies.

 

All the guys including Rudy start to laugh but unfortunately we couldn't find any one who knew him personally so we decided to leave him out of it then Northerner suggests Garab should do it as he mastered the art of rattling most girls' cages but fortunately for the girls he blatantly refused then we decided to try our luck with Nin-Yaaban and remind him that he is doing this not only for us but for the whole Somali race and our culture as most of the girls at the party wore dresses that you wouldn't associate with a nomad so we tossed a coin to decide who would carry on the task of convincing Nin-Yaaban to do it and it was Quantum_Leap who called for head instead of tails.

 

We decided to act normal and laugh and joke with the girls and even ask for a dance or two and then phone numbers and we all agreed to wait until every guy had at least 3 phone numbers and then carry out our mission to restore the reputation of our dear friend Rudy and for Nin-Yaaban to revive the Dhaqanka Soomaaliyeed, but little did we know the girls themselves were having a meeting of their own in the ladies room and Thanks to Wiilo for revealing it all to us and I must "GIVE IT TO THE LADIES" because their game plan was far better and superior to ours.

 

 

To Be Continued....

 

 

Peace,Love & Unity.