What do somali men know about romance?

[Somali-feminist]

salaamu alaikum wr wb,

 

I'm new to the forum, so technically this would be my first post. So let me 1st of all wlcm myself ......For the past 6 months I have been working on this theory, let me apologize in advance if what I have to say sounds like 'm generalizing somali men...for the past 6 months I have conducted a research on how romantic somali men are? what has alarmed me most about this research is the fact that they know so little about romance...Some of you would probably say that its not only somali men, and that the philosophical roots of romance has been lost in the mists of time for every culture...which I agree, the ladies would agree with me when I say that we expect more out of our men. Every mali woman expects to be treated like a queen, but since that doesn’t look like it would happen… and ladies ‘m not saying lets settle for less… to all the guys in here who have sisters at one point or another probably had seen their sisters heal some scars from failed relationship… and you probably wanted to kill the man who had made them go through that! Right, well think of how the guy whose sister ur dating must feel. Anyhow, we are not asking much… all we want is to frequently be told how much you love us, n for goodness sake don’t think that’s sufficient, we would like to know the reason. What makes us so special in your eyes… and another thing, don’t just verbally utter these words n think it would be sufficient, no show her how much u adore her in action as well. During my research I found out that mali men do not put any effort into being romantic. Pleasing their women has become the last in their list of priorities. Why is it hard for you guys to be creative with your romantic gestures? Ofcourse to be romantic doesn’t mean you have serenade the woman on balconies and write her dull poetic love letters…it would not kill you to be just as creative as us somali sista's

[rudy-Diiriye]

another farax bashing thread! well, weclome to reality! live is a u know what! u earn love u dont demanded!!!!! :confused:

[7_steps_2_Heaven]

bla bla bla bla, girl it's ramadan and all u can think of is romance? damnn naa ilaah bari and 4get about romance.

 

see kaa noqotay, teeda kale hadii eey wiilasheena ku fiicneen romanska yaakuu badalaa?

GACALKA HA ISKA BOOBIN, EE NOODAA RAGGEENA ANNAKA EE NA ANFACAAYAAN!!!!!!!!!

[murefu]

HASHA WLC SIS, MESHAN WAXKALE LOGAMABA HADLO ,NIN XOW YIRI IYO NAAG SOMALIYEED XEY TIRI LE KA SOCDAAN MARKA DHINACAADA BUD KASO QAADO..SHABIIIIIII,,

[ScarFace]

Originally posted by rudy:

another farax bashing thread! well, weclome to reality! live is a u know what! u earn love u dont demanded!!!!! :confused:

bo bo bo bo bo

RUDY well said

Samiyah WELCOME SIS

[Somali-feminist]

salaamu alaikum wr wb,

 

forgive if I have stated anything that might have frustrated some of you, for it wasn't my intention ...Let me respond to certain sisters, hon there was no need to lash out on me, :eek: so that you might be able to get the spotlight you probably were craving for...

Walalo Ramadan indeed is holy , and I for one is saddened by the fact soon it will come to an end ......however darling, I hate to remind you, but if you think that we ought to censor ourselves about certain topics, why should we do so only this month? and if you think its wrong of so cover it this month, what about the other 11 months? my darling sister, Ramadan is not the only month where a creature is to turn to Allah and conduct oneself in a reflective manner...I agree with you, it is a month for spiritual reawakening. However huuno, Allah has not asked us to renounce the world...This is a month we are to spend praying every chance we get... can ya’ll believe in less than 2 weeks no more taraweeh and tahajud ....FYI to the sister that was curious about me neglecting this holy month, walalo I haven’t missed a night of my taraweehs n Alhamdulillah so far I have attended couple of tahajud prayers, so don’t say I’m ruled by my desires, you do not know me...so darling if I were you, I would be careful about accusing a fellow muslim, I don’t need to remind you about the saying if you point a finger there are three pointing in your direction...Anyhow, as I have already suggested I'm new to this forum, again forgive me if I was out of line... it was wrong of me to think we could have a heart warming friendly debate. :confused:

[N.O.R.F]

sis, answer this, do u want first romance or respect? if its the latter first then the the former shall come along with patiance.

 

U dig?

[Thinkerman]

Salam Calayakum Samiyah wlcm to the site. I would just echo Northners sentiments. Anyone you might find remotely attractive can say the right words and play the game and come across very charming. But not aot of people will treat you with real respect.

[x_quizit]

Samiyah, wlc sis, forgive those ppl who were jumping down ur throat, it's just that these same type of topics have been discussed numerous times, and i guess they feel that another one is not needed...but u couldn't have known since u said u were new, therefore u deserve a bit of a break....but u made a good point about conducting ourselves the way we are doing in ramadan all yr around and that Allah hasn't asked us to fulfill our islamic duties only in ramadan, but everyday of our lives...

 

To answer ur q, i would say, often, ppl treat u the way u treat them, if not, cut ur losses, and move on....so if u display any romance in ur relationships, then he might be more inclined to be romantic back, but that also has to do with ur definition of romance...to some women, romance is when a man cleans up after himself, rubs her back after a long day, cooks once in a while....so a woman has to be clear on what is romantic to her and not to lose sight of the lil' things he may do for u....some see romance being equated to receiving jewerly, having money spent on them, at the end of the day, its up to u and what u are happy with, otherwise, hit the road...

 

peace

[N.O.R.F]

cooks once in a while...????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

erm..........coughs...........coughs more........i need water, runs out of the room>>>

[Changed]

^^^ LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL^^^^

 

 

samiyah wlc macaanto...

 

ahahahah am laughing cuz the truth hurts.. am not saying all Mali Men are what u say they are !! but some of them are honey just remember there is good and bad in each society , and each country, we tend to have more NON ROMANTIC men that is all

 

to northerner : i know the difference between respect and romance but i would like for u to define ur idea of respect and romance especially when it comes to relationship? i think they go Hand In hand

 

Seriously thought: what is up with all men Calacaling And getting all Defensive , answer the question or else dont respond at all what is up with all this rubish talk :rolleyes:

[rudy-Diiriye]

All I am saying sista's enough of this crab bushing your brotha! stand next to us and lets conquer the world! w/o yall, we be nothing! next to a xalimo is where i belong and wanna be!!! for live...4 reall yall! PEACE~ HAPPY RAMADAAN!

 

[ November 18, 2003, 02:45 PM: Message edited by: Bee ]

[Paragon]

Why are Somalis considered unromantic?

 

There is no big debate motioned to discuss and prove the existence of Somali romanticism, because the bulk of Somali population doesn’t even know what it means to say Somali romanticism does exist or doesn’t exist at all. Song lyrics such as “Haduu beerku qabsamo bar baad adi ku siin lahaa, wadnaheyga bidixdana waan kuu badali lahaa”, has kept me confounded for quite some time now. Every time I listen to the lyric I am left with no other choice but to acknowledge the existence of Somali romanticism, especially that of Somali men.

 

However no Somali lady seems to see the kind of romanticism a simple lyric, writen by none other Somali men contains. If the same lyric were to be translated to English or any other language, then it would be considered a very romantic lyric, which expresses deep desires between two lovers, who would die for each other, with the equivalence of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, or even Leyla and Qeys!

 

The above song is likely to have been composed and writen by a Somali male, but although the song serves as an evidence of how romantic Somali men are, they easily branded unromantic by their female counterparts. The bulk of Somali poetry is romanticism intended for and directed towards Somali Xaliimos* and above that the beautifully sung and performed music was made to extend the boundaries of Somali romanticism, and to create a sense of closeness between genders.

 

However, these efforts seem to be failing almost at all times, and all these attempts were made predominantly by the male section of the community. So it is now the time for Somali women to show us what it means to be romantic without resorting to the borrowing of foreign concepts on romanticism.

 

What is needed now, from Somali women - who always complain about the unromantic nature of Somali men – is to make us men see relationships in a romantic way. Teach us new approaches towards relationships. If these women succeed, then we, as men, must become embroiled in romanticism to please and make our Xaliimos happier with our romantic performance.

 

But on one condition: we don't want to hear ‘oh our men aren’t romantic’ and that’s why ‘relationships break-up’. And no more relationships ending just because a Mr. Farah forgot to bring a rose or chocolates!. Now ladies, its your turn to take up the mantle of romanticism, cos we have taken the mantle before and sung"ubax baan sidaa, kuula soo ordayee, maadiga aqbali?” been forgotten about already?

[Khayr]

What u mean by Romance?

 

Isn't washing the dishes and cooking

while farax is at work, Romantic enough! :rolleyes:

 

Oh, sorry maybe u been watching the Bachelorette

on T.V. and seeing millions of dollars translated into 'ROMANCE' or been looking at

J.Lo's diamond ring and think that a rock

that size means Definite Romance.

 

What standard of Romance are you judging by anyways?

 

Why don't you ask your grandparents or an old somali couple what romance is?

Why don't you ask them how come they've been together and are still married after umptin' yrs?

 

Where did you do your research by the way?

 

Romance is a universal language and it

takes on many forms and can be customized

to fit a particuler person.

 

Samiyah, I think that you might need a new group

of 'specimans' to observe for your project.

I'm sure that there are a few faraxs

on SOL that can show you a thing or two about

romance

[yoniss]

to me, romance is to make you feel attractive. tell, so know tell me how i do that when you gain weight after few months of marriage( the honeymoon isn't over yet) FYI my friends and i happen to date non-somali girls and they couldn't stop saying how somali men happen to be romantic. is playing hard to get romantic? maybe to you ladies, but we find that unromatic.