The Traditional Way!

[lol]

Ever thought about the ways our parents or those preceeding them used to date?.. Well let me enlighten you a little bit and if u can add more, feel free…Basically there were two ways…Of course the modern Somali way it is…but the country part is quite different.

 

1. The guy sees the girl, he tries to trace her to someone he knows who would do the pep talk for him. When finally finds that person, the person talks to the girl. A date is set for the two to meet along with the middle-man (well dat is wat I call them). It can be either at the middle-man’s house or a restaurant. The talking begins and nature is let take its toll…

Let me give you an example…My mom when she was studying the basics of nursing in Jamame (that is a little town 60 Kms south of Kismayo), an accident occurred in the operation theater. The patient died on the table (before the surgery…most probably an overdose of anesthesia ). Anyways the case was taken to court and the nurses in the theater including my mom were asked to testify. There was this lawyer who came from Mogadishu representing the defendant. He saw my mom and of course couldn’t resist ( mind u my mom is very beautiful… wondering how I missed out on it), anyways he traced her all the way to Jamame.

 

And one of them days, there was a knock at my mom’s door. It was a guy who went to the same school she did. He asked if he could talk to her, and when she stepped outside the lawyer was there as well. He told her of the lawyer’s intention. Although she didn’t make it with the lawyer…but that was the story

 

2. The guy writes a letter to the girl revealing his intentions (which were mostly marriage) and if the girl is ready, she asks him to meet her at her house. He comes to the family and makes his intentions known, and from there their dating beings.

Example:

There is my cousin now who is still dating this guy. They live in Abu Dhabi, but way they date is typical Somali way…although she didn’t grow up in Somalia. Guled (her boyfriend…well he is more like a fiancé coz the whole family knows) saw her at a wedding in Dubai, and in the same wedding he wrote a small note stating his interest. She responded back asking him to come to Abu Dhabi if he wanted her and to meet the family. He didn’t only come by himself but he brought his family as well. And since then they have been together.. soon I am waiting for the wedding bells.

 

Anyways I don’t know about you gurls, but I am jealous. I mean common we would all love to have that kind of devotion given to us. Someone tracing me, or bringing his family so that he can win a date…

 

So my question is, how did we end up loosing a tradition this great? Where are the real brothers who did things candidly and openly made their intentions known? Nowadays, they are all suffering from cold feet….. Damn you “Dhul Gaalâ€.

[Final_Say]

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooool hibo, damn dem

things still going on, wow, well let me tell u how is done in western world.

there are different ways of doing it

 

1) Da guys walk around all day (or in dere free time) in shopping centres and public streets, when they see a somali chick, they watch her, if she shakes her *** or looks at dem, or they just find her attractive they go to her and say "nayaa" and use some run down chat up lines frm centuries ago, anyway dere's always da one who gives him her number, while da normal chicks dat no wag1 tell em to get lost (or the classic sorry i'm not somalia, i'm Ethiopian, Erteria, Sudan, Asian), after dey make a collection they call all the pretty ones and depending on wat each one is offering link them up) den dey go out for a while, only for her to find out dat she is da weekend/day gurl friend and dere are others (including her friends and some distance family) she goes mad (half da somalia boys in london have marks on dere neck or have been slapped) anyway when dey wanna get married each guy tries and find a gurl which has not been wid any other man (which is hard since each one has 6 gurl friends) and da nice gurls don’t want him coz he has been round da block. anyway dey find one dat is acceptable to da family and she is feeling a bit old so she accepts... den dey get married.

 

2) if your a practicing sister, somehow (no idea how) ur number reaches a waada,

then rings you and tells u his intentions, da half waada ones will chat to da gurl for months and months den tell da family and get married.

 

3......)dere is the new practicing generation, who will find out ur mahram's details, ask them if they can talk to u, a date is set for u guys to meet, in front of ur dad (embarrassing) chat, see if you find each other attractive, ur dad/brother does the investigation on his deen and character den dey get married.

 

 

oh don't forget cyber marriages which are also quiet common (how and why no idea, maybe for shy ppl or something, dis is not a dig if ur into it )

 

 

hibo i have no idea sis, hey 3 is not so bad, 2 is okay for somalified ppl.

[-Serenity-]

Its official – “The husband hunting season†has landed.

 

On the subject, Let me include the not so traditional but just-as-good virtual way.

 

1. Girl sees guy write in a forum/chatroom.

2. Girl is instantly impressed with his intellect and wisdom.

3. Girl PM’s Guy.

4. Guy responds with a volley of flattery unbeknown to Girl (He usually has extensive experience in cyber wooing).

5. Girl is taken over.

6. Guy asks for Girls number.

7. Guy and Girl talk for a few months.

8. Deal is reached cyberly.

9. Parents and guardians are brought into the realm.

10. Deal is cut.

11. Married happily for utmost another 2-3yrs.

12. Divorce. Cycle restarts.

 

12 simple, easy to follow, hassle free steps.

[Valenteenah.]

Lo0oL @ Mizz...#1 is SPOT ON!

 

Hibo,

 

So my question is, how did we end up loosing a tradition this great? Where are the real brothers who did things candidly and openly made their intentions known?

Good question. It makes sense to pine for the good old days, I guess, especially since today's Modern Faarax is a cunning, ruthless and unscrupulous rake who will do his damn best to get into your panties before he even knows your name! :mad:

 

Enchantment,

 

The cynicism! Don't you know it's Haraam? :eek:

 

Its official – “The husband hunting season†has landed.

What do you expect? Summer's coming!! Feel the love, Enchanty.

[Moth_To_A_Flame]

Great topic Hibo!

 

The old fashioned way does seem to have been a simple, effective and stress-free one, doesn't it? That is exactly how my parents met. He was a uni friend of my mother's brother, saw her on a visit and fell in luurrrveee! He got all the parents involved, they met with a chaperone and voila, a marriage followed!

 

I think the reason this old fashioned method has died out is that the young people of today have changed! If a random stranger turned up at my doorstep with his brood, I would probably scream "STALKER!", lol!

 

In order for a guy to approach our parents and have any success, there must be a prior understanding of some sort between us. That's where the old-fashioned merges to the spanking new! That bit of the relationship often turns into full blown dating. To me, that is perhaps a good thing, as long as it's done in a moderately islamic manner, at least we get to know the man we may be spending the rest of our lives with.

 

The thing I find most amusing is the "meeting" of the prospective bride and groom when a potential marriage is being arranged. In the asian culture, this becomes an all out free for all PARTY! All the nosy aunties come along to lend a hand making samosas and to gossip about the flaws of the guy and how "our bride is far too good for him"!

[lol]

Mizzy : U kept me rolling walaahi... that was funny...

3......)dere is the new practicing generation, who will find out ur mahram's details, ask them if they can talk to u, a date is set for u guys to meet, in front of ur dad (embarrassing) chat, see if you find each other attractive, ur dad/brother does the investigation on his deen and character den dey get married.

 

It happened to my sister, a guy told my brother that he was interested and my brother requested that my sister give the guy a chance. My sister did it. And the guy came to see her with another guy and this happened like for couple more times.. and my sister said nope thank u.... ( she is too modernised... u know am independent kind of a sister... I guess dat is wat West does to u)... anyways it was funnt how she put it.... she said.. he is a chicken he can't even face me alone.. how the hell is he gonna marry me?

 

So it does happen...

 

Enchantment: The season for husband hunting has been on for a quite sometime now.. I don't know how u could have missed it

 

Zep: I guess he will have to suffer a long time b4 he can jump into the sack

 

 

Moth: Isn't that romantic? I mean think of it... u get to know him after u r married to him... u know.. he will try to impress u and u will try to impress him... living ur excitement in halal way... fantastic I would say.

[Final_Say]

hibo, it happened to me, i still feel embarrassed and it wz 2yrs ago, i sat dere da whole time lookin at my feet, if i wz to see him on road i probably won't even no it wz him.

 

i admire dem ppl, they have guts, especially wid my uncle. he asked him sooooooooooo many questions i felt sorry for da guy.

 

i covered my face before dey come and den dey made me take it off so he can see my face, (i felt like crying) and dey made me write a list of questions down before hand dat my uncle can ask him or i'll have to ask him face to face. and dey asked me a couple of questions, him and his dad.

 

dats not even da worst party, when i come out of the room, half of my family were standing on the other side of the door trying to hear wat wz going on.

anyway i did't get married coz he wanted to move to somalia and i wanted to finsh my degree here.

 

i tell u its the most embarrassing thing ever, but its the hala way of doing it, and when and if i get married inshallah there will be no back door business, other den asking for contact details, i'll do it like dat inshallah.

 

i know a couple of sisters that got married like dat, worked out fine. marshallah

 

joke;

it will take u guys 5yrs to get to know each other while married, 10yrs for u to start get bored wid each other, 5yrs of unstable relationship, by den no point being married or better still ur dead. so u see u have a longer marriage, whether if u go out before hand, by the time u marry, ur already getting sick of each other

 

 

salamz

[-Serenity-]

Originally posted by Hibo:

Enchantment: The season for husband hunting has been on for a quite sometime now.. I don't know how u could have missed it

Stup!d me. It only hit me when I saw the wave of self-advertising posts. Do you think its too late to jump on the speeding bandwagon with the very limited suiters? I wouldnt want to ruin any1's chances.

 

Moth: Isn't that romantic? I mean think of it... u get to know him after u r married to him... u know.. he will try to impress u and u will try to impress him... living ur excitement in halal way... fantastic I would say.

What if he turns out to be a bum? Lets be realistic noh? Chances are and in favour of this.

[lol]

^^^^ .... mine is not actually an advertisement, its just that am jealous coz, I didn't experience such a magnificent treatment....Although am still open for anyone who is applying

 

As for you, am sure u can hop on any u find attractive... I thought London was beaming with a herd of well educated, all that and bag of crab boys... who were to kill for.?? how come u r still single :rolleyes:

[Aux]

^^^LOl Time is against a few huh. Even though I'm a biyoole trying to meet tomorrows dead-line of water delivery. I request inanta meesha ugo folxun. I've been hunting from the moment I went from diapers to pants. Hiboy so gurmo inabtii

 

On a serious account, the last time I went the traditional way, sidi boqorada ingiriska ayeey sanka tagtaay....wadh wadh. That's why I request the least prettiest in SOL.

 

Moth, where is my Indian bride. Patience is running out dear!

[Bess.]

aux...bro that was just bad luck...she didn't deserve u and u should be glad that u got away from her....u shouldn't give up....try harder....

[Aux]

Haye bal adigo mahad haysa? Hadal action aya dhamaa ilahayn. Niyada ii dis oo hadiyaad ban ku haya dhe.

[-Serenity-]

Originally posted by Hibo:

 

As for you, am sure u can hop on any u find attractive... I thought London was beaming with a herd of well educated, all that and bag of crab boys... who were to kill for.?? how come u r still single :rolleyes:

Who lied to you? London is the khat capital city in this part of the world. Besides, whats the rush to get hog-tied? Plenty of time for that.

 

Woo hoo! Aux on offer!

[Bess.]

no no no...i wasn't offering anything ....lets get this straight....bro....take it easy.....lol....see wat happens when u try help a farax...

[lol]

Besbaaso: Weli Soomali ma baran miyaa sis, carabta waxey tiraahdaa, " La tafcal qeyr walaa yajiig shar". Which roughly means, " Don't do good so that harm won't harbor u"..marka waxaad is laheyd walaalkaa.. AuxCod niyada u dhis.. adiga uu kugu so jeestay sooma aragtid

 

Auxcod: Walaalkiis ma hubtaa in dariiq laguula mari karo... ileen qofta waxey sanka u taagtay aad qabtaaye... naag soomali nin kala xeran heshay san ma taageysee.. sanadkaan... fooxumo.net miyaa sheekada walaalkiis???

 

Enchant: Just trying to sarcastic walaashiis...if that was the truth u would have found me in London long time ago,...why do u think I ain't even passing thru the airport...